IF Testing and Treatment W/O 7/18

hestia-is-wearie · July 2022

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility, and it becomes a whole new ballgame. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this as an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (if you've been):

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?):

How are things going?:

Any questions?:

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading?

kiki047 · July 2022

Thank you @hestia-is-wearie, I was going to post this week's thread but there was a bug on the floor at the clinic and I got distracted

Diagnosis (if you've been): PCOS, RPL/RIF, some MFI, and my not-so-BFF Mme. Fibroid.

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): FET #8

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Another FET, another protocol to try. Well, kinda. Only change this time is using low dose (50iu) Puregon instead of estrace to prompt my body to produce its own estrogen, with trigger and PIO. Otherwise same protocol of baby aspirin, 20mg prednisone, nivestym (neupogen), medrol, PRP, intralipids, fragmin (blood thinner), and HCG wash.

How are things going?: Good, my lining is already at 8mm at CD8 which is really good for me and my chronically thin lining problems. I have about 6 measurable follicles in the 9-12mm range so I assume I'll trigger later this week for a FET sometime middle of next week. And while technically unrelated to TTC but still relevant, my new antidepressants seem to be helping me manage my day-to-day anxiety and stress better already, and as we know stress is bad for fertility so it's a win overall.

Any questions?: NATM.

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? I have a couple YA fantasy books on the go that I want to finish this summer because I started them in March and just never got back into them.

anniemarie887 · July 2022

@kiki047 crossing all the fingers and toes for you!

Diagnosis (if you've been): uncooperative uterus/RPL... tbd?

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): hysteroscopy on 7/24 and hopefully removing whatever is in my uterus that should not be there.

How are things going?: well, covid entered my house... again... i tested negative weds, but then tested again saturday and was positive. i felt 100% fine, extremely annoyed, i emailed my RE about how this would affect things... and then i tested again yesterday and was negative. ugh wtf. so she agreed, lets get a pcr (which i did this morning) and see what that says. i really, really, really need the universe to cut me a break so i can get the hysteroscopy next week, there's just a lot of scheduling that went into this.

Any questions?: natm

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? everyone needs to go buy this book ASAP Amazon.com: Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow: A novel: 9780593321201: Zevin, Gabrielle: Books it's on sale currently, it's the best thing i've read all year, devoured it in a few days, didn't want it to end. so, so, so friggin' good.

bearmomma1 · July 2022

@kiki047 8 mm is great for CD 8! I have chronically thin lining as well. I'm still around a 6 at CD 13..grr

@anniemarie887 oh no! I hope covid doesn't derail things for you! If you had covid anytime recently a PCR could still show up positive even though you're not contagious anymore.

Diagnosis (if you've been): DOR, LPD, unexplained

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Letrozole, trigger, TI, progesterone.

How are things going?: Ok I guess. I had my 2nd ultrasound of this cycle and still have 3 good looking follicles, but they are taking their time growing, ranging form 12.9-14.6. Was hoping they'd be a little farther along by now, but patience. Going back on Thursday for hopefully the last one. My lining is still at a 6 which sucks. And I really don't like this lady who did my US today. I had her once before and she just doesn't seem like she fully knows what she's doing.

Any questions?: nope.

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? I've kinda taken a break from reading over this summer as we've been suuper busy. Hoping to get back in it!

abjm0325 · July 2022

@kiki047 It's great that your lining is so plush and your antidepressants are working! What YA fantasy books are you reading?

@anniemarie887 Gah, get out of here covid! Fingers crossed the PCR comes back negative and it was just a fluke bad test.

@bearmomma1 Sorry for the waiting game. Hurry up, little follicles! Hopefully you get a better US tech next time.

abjm0325 · July 2022

Diagnosis (if you've been): crochety eggs, RPL

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Starting round #2 with clomid along with the usual suspects (baby aspirin, ubiquinol, progesterone, methyl folate)

How are things going?: About as well as they ever are on CD 2. I already knew I was out, so marginally softened the blow of AF. Identical plan to last cycle, so hard to get too jazzed or really believe we might get a different result this month. I started my new job today, so I'll probably be aroubd sporadically the next few weeks as I get the lay of the land.

Any questions?: Not today

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? I read The House in the Cerulean Sea earlier this year and loved it, so looking forward to picking up another TJ Klune book soon.

optimistgardener · July 2022

edited for stupid spacing

@kiki047 hurray for a thicker lining and for the improved antidepressant situation!

@anniemarie887 ugh no!! i'm sorry that covid is making life difficult (as is its wont)

@bearmomma1 hopefully your lining will have kicked into gear by the time you go back for more monitoring on thursday.

@abjm0325 🤞

Diagnosis (if you've been): decrepit ovary

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): sequential IVF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I'm waiting for AF to get back on birth control in prep for my last retrieval

How are things going?: eh, my feelings about everything were really thrown for a loop after my last retrieval. i don't know why but it sort of put me back in my anxiety place, whereas i'd felt pretty calm before that, secure in a sense that i am doing everything i can do. now i keep circling back to this fear that what i am doing is a huge waste, that i won't be able to make enough fertilized eggs to get a couple of euploids, that my low fertilization rate after this last retrieval is like a sign that my ovary is really just teetering on the edge of her wheelchair. i don't know if anyone else has this guilt, but the amount of plastic and waste that we produce through the ivf process is awful. like i can't even tell you how many sharps containers i've filled with single-use syringes. and ok, fair, if i can at the end of it be like "well but look at this child that was a result of all of it" then that's one thing. but what if it's just a monumental waste of money and resources and time and i'm still childless at the end?
Also TW adoption

My mom drove me to my retrieval last week and we were super early for the retrieval intake so my mom, who has been trying to convince me to think about other possibilities, insisted that we go into an international adoption agency that happens to be based down the street. she was like, we are just going in to ask about what kind of literature they might have and to hear them talk about first steps. well it turned out that the place we went into was their fundraising arm, not the adoption side of things, so that they didn't have much info for us. but it was hard to keep it together while going in there, my abdomen all full with ripe follicles, and at the same time trying to think about what this other path would look like. I don't blame my mom, she just really really wants to see me be a mom, and doesn't care how i get there. but it sucked.

Any questions?: not unless you've got thoughts on how i might approach this last and final retrieval coming up.

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? on my nightstand i have a copy of Olga Tokarczuk's Books of Jacob, which is beautifully written and an impressive thing in its own right. but it's also freaking huge (like 1000 pgs) and the interplay between characters is really nuanced and i haven't picked it up to read in ages, which i think is a sign that it's a little more than my brain can handle right now. i need to go browse at a bookstore for something a little lighter.

kiki047 · July 2022

@anniemarie887 ugghh nooo, F off Covid, wtf. Hopefully your PCR is negative so you can go ahead with the hysteroscopy and finally be able to move forward.
@bearmomma1 my lining hardly ever gets over 7mm so I'm definitely celebrating the fact that it's responding well to stims instead of estrace. I hope yours gets nice and plush as your cycle goes on too. Hopefully the fact that your follicles are all in close range means you'll get more than one when you trigger.
@abjm0325 So sorry for CD2

We had a whole discussion about our favourite YA fantasy series earlier this year in the Randoms thread I think, so I had picked up the boxed set of Patricia Wrede's Enchanted Forest Chronicles on a recommendation from someone here (I think it was stormageddon maybe?), and I'm reading the last book in Tamora Pierce's Protector of the Small quartet, Lady Knight. I had read almost all of Tamora Pierce's work as a teenager but I think this series was released much later and I realized I only ever read the first book. I've really enjoyed them, even as an adult.
@optimistgardener oof, friend, the adoption stuff is heavy and I don't blame you one bit for being triggered by all of that, especially while literally en route to your retrieval. I know it seems like a lot right now but I hope that you'll be able to look back on this knowing that you literally poured your heart and soul into your IVF journey, and that no amount of time or money really could have changed the outcome. Sure, if we could go back in time and change something I'm sure all of us would, but we have no choice but to keep pushing forward. I have no doubt that if you want to be a Mom, you will find a way. Whatever that looks like.

You are doing your very best, and that is enough.

optimistgardener · July 2022

thank you @kiki047. that is really helpful to hear.

acleverusername · July 2022

@kiki047 what happened to the plan to do a very natural-like cycle? Also, I ROFL'ed at "there was a bug on the floor at the clinic and I got distracted." In what way did it distract you?
@anniemarie887 I'm conjuring a negative PCR for you. But I am happy that you're feeling OK. Of course, I would absolutely shake my fist at ... something... if your hysteroscopy got derailed.
@bearmomma1 it's not unusual to have such thin lining when your follicles are in that size range. I get that it sucks that it's taking so long, but everything will eventually get to the size it needs to.
@abjm0325 I feel this so much "so hard to get too jazzed or really believe we might get a different result this month." Hugs. Good luck with your new job! What's your profession?
@optimistgardener Hugs, friend. Just hugs. That's a lot of heavy stuff to go through, so I'm not surprised your anxiety is rearing its ugly head. We're all here for you to talk you off the ledge. I can't help but think that all of those single-use syringes will make for a beautiful piece of art one day, for your baby to see.

Diagnosis (if you've been): whatever

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): TI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Did my DUTCH test on Friday/Saturday. Looking forward to learning just how imbalanced my hormones are. I have a bone marrow biopsy this Thursday to hopefully determine the cause of my chronically low platelet counts. Oh, and I'm finally seeing an RI next week (7/28).

How are things going?: This are OK. I'm honestly so busy at work right now, that I cannot think about anything TTC related (other than finding a reproductive psychiatrist because I'm sick and tired of old men telling me how to medically manage my anxiety that doesn't take into considering my attempts to have a baby.) I'm also considering switching jobs because work is just a mess right now, and I'm no longer as bullish as I once was on our company due to underinvestments in critical areas.

One thing to share though is: I've been sleeping so well recently and I have to say it's all due to my functional medicine doctor. She's having me take 2 caps of magnesium glycinate 60-90 min before bed, and then also drinking 1oz of tart cherry juice mixed in with 4-6oz of water (cherry juice has naturally occurring melatonin). I have been able to get 6-7 stretches of sleep before waking up to pee (so, from 10-4am) and then just falling right back asleep. Oh, and I'm also putting drops of lavender oil on my pillow before getting into bed. Honestly, I feel so good since I'm sleeping so well.

Any questions?: not really, no.

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? I'm making my way through the Bridgerton series on audiobooks, and also slowing reading Spiritual Fertility before bedtime (which usually means 10 min before I start to fall asleep).

kiki047 · July 2022

@acleverusername My RE asked if I wanted to but I have zero trust in my body to behave the way it's supposed to. I will either not ovulate and/or have a lot of spotting and/or something new will come up just because. My last truly natural cycle where I wasn't on BCP was 9 weeks long, because PCOS. I could probably do the work to regulate my cycles but that could take months and I'm not willing to do that right now. // As for the bug, I had to run away because it kept trying to crawl in my bag and I was suppressing a scream. I hate bugs, especially centipedes and spiders. // Sorry work has been so crazy. Glad to hear you're sleeping better, that really does make all the difference.

optimistgardener · July 2022

ugh, just re-ordering my prescriptions. i always have this bizarro sense of shame when i order them like, "yeah i can't believe that my last order of nuclear-grade hormones wasn't enough to get me and everyone in a 50-foot vicinity pregnant last round either." it used to be worse when i had to call the sperm bank and talk to the same woman over and over again like, "hey, yeah, it's me, it didn't work... again... can i spend another $1k on another batch please." these 3 retrievals have at least been a reprieve in that i am done communicating with them, unless of course i get/stay pregnant in which case i will need to alert them to the pregnancy.

anniemarie887 · July 2022

@bearmomma1 if i really am + this is my 3rd go with the 'vid. ugh. when i had it in december i was negative on a pcr within 30 days even though they say it can take 90. i've come to the very unscientific conclusion that nothing makes sense any longer. i hope your follicles get themselves in gear!!
@abjm0325 i hope your first day is going swimmingly, and i'm sorry for cd2. i know how much that sucks.
@optimistgardener just sending you a big hug, no annoying attempt at words of wisdom. i wish i had a crystal ball to help you on this journey.
@acleverusername good sleep is life (edit for SPELLING!) changing. i've been taking melatonin recently and i'm actually waking up feeling rested vs haggard.

abjm0325 · July 2022

@optimistgardener Sending you lots of hugs as you navigate that emotional minefield. I won't pretend to understand it all, but I often share the thought of how far should we go down this road. I hope you find your peace again soon.

@kiki047 Ooh, the Patricia Wrede books were probably my suggestion. They are a little younger than YA, but started my love of fantasy.

@acleverusername Thank you! I'm a librarian. I just moved to a new library, but my role at this library is very different so it will take some getting used to. Switching jobs is a challenge, but so is a draining job. Good luck as you make your decision! Can't wait to hear about the results of your Dutch test soon.

elle-0409 · July 2022

@kiki047 I'm glad that your new antidepressants are helping with your anxiety and stress. And I'm crossing everything for you!

@anniemarie887 Sorry for the negative/positive/negative Covid tests. I looked up the book you recommended and I've read another one of the author's novels (The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry). I'll have to check it out!

@bearmomma1 Come on follicles, grow!

@abjm0325 I hope that you settle into your new job easily and that everyone you work with is incredibly kind and helpful.

@optimistgardener Sending you so many hugs. This is such an emotional roller coaster and every thought and feeling is valid.

I'm sorry about the adoption experience. That must have been so tough especially because it was out of the blue.

@acleverusername Good luck with the biopsy on Thursday! Your functional medical doctor sounds amazing. Get that sleep, girl!

elle-0409 · July 2022

Diagnosis (if you've been): Old lady, RPL, LPD, MTHFR

Status (TI/ICI/IUI/IVF/FET/benched): Benched

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): I actually just got a call saying that someone cancelled their rheumatology appointment, so now I've got one at the end of August. Hooray! Baby steps. I'm still on the cancellation lists of three more clinics.

How are things going?: Pretty good. I'm charting my cycle this month even though we're benched.

I think it's because of my recent loss. I just want to check in on my body and see what it's doing on its own.

Any questions?: My doctor said that moving forward I can take baby aspirin. When do you all start taking it?

GTKY: What are you reading right now, or what do you wish you were reading? First of all, I LOVE this question. I'm reading too much at once as per usual, but I'll narrow it down to three.

1) Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen

2) Becoming by Michelle Obama

3) The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck

bearmomma1 · July 2022

@abjm0325 good luck with the new job! I hope things go smoothly.

@optimistgardener I do hope that your next phone call for prescription meds will be to order anything you may need to assist in a pregnancy!

@elle-0409 horray for end of august! Hopefully something opens up even sooner. I would just start taking the aspirin now. I take mine every night before bed with my pnvs.

abjm0325 · July 2022

@elle-0409 I second going ahead and starting the aspirin. I take mine in the morning and my other pills in the evening because of what someone on here said about interactions, but I can't remember why or who said it so I am literally as little help as possible.

kiki047 · July 2022

@elle-0409 I'll echo those sentiments about baby aspirin, you're good to start at any time and you can stay on it throughout your cycle. I take it first thing in the morning when I wake up with my pred.

kiki047 · July 2022

Just got back from my monitoring appointment, still need a few more days of stims so I go back Saturday and will trigger this weekend. I opted not to do PRP this time, it is just so stressful and time consuming and I really didn't want to spend my entire Saturday waiting 5-6 hours for that, then have to go back Sunday for 3 hours to do my intralipids. I already had to cancel my morning golf game Saturday because of it so I'm feeling a little bitter about how much time IF takes from my life. I would literally do anything for a chance to have a baby but at what expense? We've already put so much on hold/given up so much in pursuit of our THB. I'm really battling that inner voice that says "but what if you need it?" ... I did it the last 3 cycles and it didn't work so maybe more isn't actually more in this case.

bearmomma1 · July 2022

Another day, another cycle where my body is very eggcited (wa wa waa) to ovulate. I got a positive OPK this morning and they still would like for me to come for my ultrasound today. I'm curious to see if all 3 follies are still keeping up with each other. Last time this happened they gave me the option of still triggering, even though my body already started it's surge. I decided not to, but I think I will this time if given the option again. Might as well give it any extra boosting it needs!

anniemarie887 · July 2022

@elle-0409 i am telling everyone about the book nonstop, so i hope you get to read it and enjoy it!
@kiki047 i think your logic is sound
@bearmomma1 let us know how the u/s goes!

afm, walgreens pcr came back inconclusive yesterday, so i bolted over to a pediatric urgent that can do same day pcrs as long as they are done by 2.30pm, welp... came back positive. my RE's office talked with the preop ppl at the hospital and they said best to wait with being put under anesthesia. ugh. the office manager does surgery scheduling, and she is out until monday... i would like to get off this ride, can someone please point me to the nearest exit?

elle-0409 · July 2022

@anniemarie887 Noooooo! I am so sorry for the positive test and the rescheduling. It's such a huge bummer. The universe needs to cut you some slack!

@bearmomma1 GL at the ultrasound! Fingers crossed for you.

@kiki047 Huge, huge hugs.

Thanks for all of the baby aspirin advice! I just picked some up and will start taking it in the morning.

optimistgardener · July 2022

@kiki047 who am i to say but from my perspective, you made the right call re: opting against the PRP. Like you say, it hasn't demonstrated itself useful in the last several rounds. But what does matter (both for TTC and for just your general quality of life) is your not having to always put yourself through unnecessary stress.

@bearmomma1 oh man i hope all your follicles recruited. remind me what CD are you? if more than one have recruited i would be of the opinion that a trigger should could be useful for ensuring that all finish their maturation process and ovulate.

@anniemarie887 nooooooooooooooooooo! dangit, friend. i'm so sorry.

bearmomma1 · July 2022

@anniemarie887 oh noooooo!!! Are you still feeling OK? Maybe that's the only way to look on the bright side if you're still feeling good? have you taken any more at home tests? but WTF universe.

@optimistgardener cd 16. And yea, that's what I'm thinking. I wonder if my RE will feel that same way and not give me the option this time and just tell me to trigger.

anniemarie887 · July 2022

@bearmomma1 i feel totally fine, did a super hard pelo ride today and my heartrate would indicate that i'm def not 100% - my hr has been affected the other times i've had covid. and dude, as of yday i was negative on at home. i just.... ugh. technically tues is well past the 5 days of the first positive... just really effing annoying.

optimistgardener · July 2022

ok guys. just got my new omnitrope package in the mail. it was supposed to arrive yesterday but UPS had a delay. the ice packs are all melted but still cool, and the drugs are still cool to the touch. i called the pharmacy and they offered to send new drugs, but i would have had to bundle up the old drugs and send them back. i'm of two minds. i would hate it if the medication were damaged/less effective, but on the other hand it's a pain in the butt and also a lot of waste. thoughts?

acleverusername · July 2022

@anniemarie887 girl, I hope to God you get that negative test before the hysteroscopy.
@bearmomma1 anxiously await to see what your ultrasound looks like! Btw, are you seeing an RE or an OBGYN?

acleverusername · July 2022

@optimistgardener I'd for sure take them up on their offer to replace the drugs. IT sounds like this is your last retrieval, so don't leave anything to chance, wasteful or not.

bearmomma1 · July 2022

Follicles were 17.22, 16.9 & 14.08. My lining was up over 9! I'm surprised my body is so excited on surging when I feel like the follicles are still pretty small? idk, my RE had me give myself the trigger ASAP, get busy tonight and tomorrow night, start my progesterone on Saturday, then HCG test scheduled for 8/5. I hope my H's swimmers swim fast and my egg(s) come to blast! lol doesn't hurt?

acleverusername · July 2022

@bearmomma1 that's excellent! You know what, the size of follicles at surge is different for everyone. For example, I generally won't surge until my follies getting on the other side of 25mm! So, I think you've got a decent chance at all 3 follies releasing an egg. So, yes...

MAY YOUR H'S SWIMMERS SWIM FAST, AND WHEN THEY MEET, YOUR EGG COME TO BLAST.

Edit: past > fast.

optimistgardener · July 2022

i second what @acleverusername said about the individual nature of people's follicle sizes at maturity! there's a fair amount of research on this.

anniemarie887 · July 2022

@optimistgardener I’d get news meds, esp if they offered without issue. I know the waste sucks, but I agree with clever’s thoughts.

@bearmomma1 that’s great news! Go swimmers, go!!!!

There’s a solid chance I’ll be pretty quiet in these parts, my RE said anesthesiology won’t reschedule my surgery for 6 weeks. I was flabbergasted. Did some googling and apparently that is the recommendation for elective surgery by multiple credible medical sources (like the American Society of Anesthesiologists). I am so angry, I just want to scream. It really feels like the universe is out to get me.

bearmomma1 · July 2022

@acleverusername well, I guess they do have a lot to swim past as well. =p
@anniemarie887 holy cow that seems like a really long time! And your benched until this procedure happens ughhh. I feel you on the universe being out to get us. This year has SUCKED

abjm0325 · July 2022

@anniemarie887 Girl, that sucks. Take what time you need and come vent with us whenever you want to!

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