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Weird anger at pregnant women

courtneya87courtneya87 member
in Postpartum Depression
I'm sure something like this has been posted before...I feel like I have been going crazy for my entire maternity leave.  I am supposed to go back to work next week and I really thought that this feeling would go away.  I am so depressed about not being pregnant anymore.  My baby is perfectly healthy now but we did have a scare at the end of my pregnancy with IUGR and I ended up being induced 3 weeks early.  I've mourned my "perfect" birthing plan.  None of that went as planned but shes here and shes heathy ♡  Since the 3rd day home I have these weird moments where I am angry and sad about not being pregnant.  If I see a post on social media it makes me so angry...I don't understand this problem and I really feel like its taking over lately...its just so frustrating.  I just want to enjoy my daughter!  Any other mamas out there struggling?  Or have gone thru it before?   
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Re: Weird anger at pregnant women

  • nicademus20nicademus20 member
    edited June 2022
    Oh Courtney, I know exactly what you mean. I do wonder now if this anger is more specific to those whose birthing plans went nothing as planned. 
    I was an emergency c-section at 36 weeks due to preeclampsia HELLP and I had planned to give birth naturally, and breast feed, and have all those experiences. Instead I was put under and therefore have no memory of the birth, and my body wasn't ready yet to breastfeed and jumpstarting it was causing horrendous pain and immense stress. I cried numerous times every day, for a long time. 

    So when I see other women that are pregnant and so happy, there is some anger in me.
    Noone should go through the bad experiences, ultimately, nobody would. But I hate that they still have a chance at their birth dream. 
    I never had my water break, never got to have a memory that tied me into being a mother. I went to sleep pregnant, and very scared, and woke up not pregnant, and angry/very sad. 

    I miss pregnancy so much!! And also carry so much fear that if I got pregnant again that all may happen again, or possibly be even worse as I continue to get older (39 now).
    So seeing those pregnant women, and happy posts on social media celebrating their pregnancy, sure, on a level I am happy for them, and don't want them to live the same awfulness my birth story was, but I hate that they still have the chance to make their dream happen. 

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