TTCAL w/o 5/30

ejoseph16 · May 2022

**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage / spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.**

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

Questions?

GTKY: What is something you are excited about doing this summer?

ejoseph16 · May 2022

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
BO April of 2019, CP May of 2022

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? My last loss, we were told to go ahead and start trying again right away… I’m only 17 days into this cycle and I’m DYING mentally to not TTC… thankfully my doctor said to wait until my first regular period, so come on, AF.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? My levels were down to 0 the week after my CP, so that’s good.

Questions? NATM

GTKY: What is something you are excited about doing this summer? Moving into our new house and getting the F out of this house! (MH was previously married… we are in the house he bought with his first wife.)

mambo5-2 · May 2022

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 5-6 losses I've lost count between 5 and 14 weeks

Status: IVF

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? LAST BCP TOMORROW!!

Real talk I'm super anxious about going through it, what if I do all of this and still just miscarry a bunch again

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Friday is my baseline appointment before starting stims, finally

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What is something you are excited about doing this summer?

College World Series it's my favorite

acleverusername · June 2022

@ejoseph16 Lol. I bought a house (built from scratch, picked out everything including color of the grout) and he got to keep it after the fact and I'm secretly delighted that he will always have the memory of me for as long as he's in that house (and knowing him, it'll be a lifetime). So, on the flip side, I know how excited you must be. Also... are you or are you not trying this cycle?

@mambo5-2 what is College World Series? Is that baseball too? Have you conversed with your RE about your anxiety around potential loss? What is s/he is doing to reassure you?

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP Sep 2021; MMC May 2022

Status: Beeeeeeeennnnnccccchhhheeeed. For however long. We're still having sex though (mostly drunken sex, which really needs to stop... the drinking, not the sex.)

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with and/or what is going well? Well, last week I was legitimately able to contemplate what our next steps might be. So, that's a huge plus. I'm gonna spoiler everything because it's gonna be a long update otherwise. Oh, and I think bleeding has basically stopped. I'm still spotting a touch. And the pain is fully gone. I tried to be a hero last week and not take any painkillers, and then by Wednesday, I saw the error of my ways. Oh, and I've decided to attend a Spiritual Fertility Retreat this weekend. I'm pretty excited about it!

First off, I had an epiphany last week. And that is: from Feb 2020 - May 2021, I could not get pregnant. There wasn't even a hit of a line on the hundreds of HPTs I took. Then, we started IVF in June 2021. I also started working with a functional medicine doctor at the same time. Between all the ER cycles, and the mock Tx cycle, and the "missed cycle," we tried on our own/with medication 4 times. And we got pregnant 2/4 of those cycles. So, obviously I can now get pregnant.

And that's leading us to think that we ought to keep trying naturally for a bit. So, I've signed up for a "Fertility after 35" program run by a functional medicine doctor (new one; this one was highly recommended by my old acupuncturist whom I really like/respect). It's a 3 month program. She claims that couples that go through her program have an 80% chance of getting pregnant on their own within 3-6 months after the program end. So, H and I chatted and I think that's what we'll do. If we're not successful by end of the year, then we'll do a transfer in January.

And look, I'm totally conflicted about this because on the one hand... I JUST WANT TO BE FUCKING PREGNANT ALREADY. On the other hand, I'm stubborn enough to want to see this through. Certainly having embryos on ice is reassuring.

I'm also half-considering doing another retrieval at some point because.... let's face it... the younger the eggs the better. I emailed my "retrieval RE" to see if he's let me freeze Day 3 embryos. Waiting to hear back. In the meanwhile, I reserve the right to change my mind about everything once we get genetic testing results back / have a follow-up appointment w/ Dr. Aimee.

Any testing coming up/any recent results? Hoping to get my genetic testing results this week, but it could go to next week because of the holiday. I also finally decided to go through Reproductive Immunology consult with Dr. Jubiz, so I'm getting all the paperwork for that together this week, and the consult itself is on 6/9.

Questions? Nope

GTKY: What is something you are excited about doing this summer? Not sure, tbh. Summer has a different meaning in California because it's basically nice here most of the time. I did decide to start taking advantage of the coastal bike trail, and dusted off my bike this weekend and have thus been on 2 rides. So I'm looking forward to working my way up to riding longer distances, and also being able to

mambo5-2 · June 2022

@acleverusername we chatted about it when we first met, we chatted about when my initial blood work came back with a possible reason. We haven't talked since the bloodwork change. We did talk about who would manage my pregnancy as I would be high risk and why I wanted that doctor. I will only see an MFM from the getgo it sounds like. Yes the college world series is Men's baseball, it's my happy place. I've been going my whole life. I even flew back when we lived in Hawaii to go.

Also hugs lady, I completely get where you are coming from at both angles. We are here to fully support you on either/both journeys

ejoseph16 · June 2022

@acleverusername we decided last night to not go all in, but also not prevent. I think my doctor thought I was farther along when I MC, making it not a CP… but I know I ovulated super late, and I’ve been through this before where I had to wait a month to let my uterus shrink back down. This time none of that happened, it was literally like a normal period, just a week late, so there’s no reason to wait. So we went for it last night. I’m gearing up for O, so I guess we are NTNP? Lol I have no idea.

acleverusername · June 2022

Well, got the genetic results of POC back: trisomy 12. So, incompatible with life.

As least we know. The best is getting a personalized phone call from TEW. Bless her heart. We chatted a bit, and she's totally supportive of us trying naturally for a bit. Next steps are: wait for a period, go in to see her for a post-op saline sono to make sure there's no scar tissue, and then try on our own until we're either successful or ready to move forward with a medicated cycle / transfer.

mambo5-2 · June 2022

@acleverusername hugs my friend. Thinking of you

optimistgardener · June 2022

*lurking* hugs to you, @acleverusername

ejoseph16 · June 2022

@acleverusername hugs, friend… 😔

tessiesmom26 · June 2022

*lurking* huge hugs @acleverusername. Having been here myself, I know that while it is good to know, it still stings. I'm here if you want to chat. (As a reminder, my two MMC were trisomy 13 and trisomy 16.)

abjm0325 · June 2022

@acleverusername Sending you hugs as you process. Glad to hear you have a plan and have some solid support from TEW moving forward.

acleverusername · June 2022

In case anyone is wondering, here's a list of common causes of 1tri miscarriages:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/he/zoa561vclrbu.gif

So, trisomy12 is 4th rarest. What are the odds that, of the 5 eggs that I ovulated, the one that got fertilized had this aneuploidy? Pretty effin slim. #BitterHagPartyOfOne #WhereMyBitterHagsAt @stormageddon-darklordofall
@kiki047 @gingermama29 @anniemarie887 @abjm0325

stormageddon-darklordofall · June 2022

@acleverusername

Sorry for your loss. Ugh, being on the slim/low/rare end of statistics is definitely a bitter pill. Total suckfest. #BitterHagRageFest

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