Hey Dads,
I'm expecting (due in September) and truth be told, (hot take) I never wanted a bio baby, I wanted to adopt a child because of my fertility situation. My husband was the one that absolutely needed to make a baby with his genes as like... a form of pride...? So, I did all of the fertility hoopla for him and it was difficult, but I am happy now. I love my baby and I'm excited to meet him. Where I'm struggling is, whenever I talk about baby care, my husband says things like, "Oh you'll do that, you're mommy." Yes, that's true... then I bring up anything recreational too like family dinners, family game time, family whatever. "You'll do that, you're mommy." Okay... "I work all day. The baby is your full time job."
He gets 3, fully paid months of paternity leave and told me that he will be taking a week because that's all HE needs. I'm starting to get really depressed wondering if he ever wanted a baby or just wanted to be able to tell people that he has a baby - like a little post card family for his work desk. A bunch of terrible Life Time movies are flashing before my eyes where the dad misses his kid's birthdays and baseball games and then learns that he's sad he missed all of his kid's shit.
Do you think that once he sees the baby things will change for him? Are there any other dads who were more work oriented that adjusted to spend time with their family? Anyone resent their wives for 'making' them have family time even though they're tired from working all day?
I've been too afraid to talk to my husband directly about this because he is a very sweet guy and I don't want to hurt his feelings. Example, my baby got me a mother's day gift from the womb which was so sweet. But like, that's why I want him to be an active part in the baby's life, you know? I know he would be a positive influence and love the birthdays and baseball games once he's there.
Re: Need Man/Dad Advice