Hospital Stay for Second Birth

megsmith27 · May 2022

Has anyone with other kids thought about what they'll do with their kids while in the hospital. We have a 4 year old and we're hoping our good friends will be able to fill in for us. But is your significant other going to stay with you the whole time in the hospital or come and go?

daffodil_shoe · May 2022

For my 2nd, my mom took our big kid. He was in preschool during the day, and she took care of him in the evenings. My husband stayed with me the whole time.

This time since the baby isn’t mine, I really just need my husband there for labor and delivery, because he is such a good support. After that I want him to go take care of our kids. My IPs (intended parents) plan to come for the birth, and my hospital will give them their own room, so the baby won’t even be with me anyway.

megsmith27 · May 2022

@daffodil_shoe that's such a selfless thing to do for someone ❤️

daffodil_shoe · May 2022

@megsmith27 you are too kind. Surrogacy is something that has been in my heart for years, and I can’t believe I’m finally at this stage!

bauerpower1990 · May 2022

With my second my parents watched our first. I was in labor for about 20 hrs and then stayed another 2 days. My husband stayed with me the entire labor through 1st night and I stayed alone the 2nd night. He came back in the morning. They gave me the option to go home or stay and I decided to stay for the 2nd night. Depending on when your milk comes in the nights can be pretty rough but I knew what to expect and I wanted my daughter to have some normalcy by having her dad home for bedtime.

Another option, if your hospital will allow it, is to have dad come home to do dinner/bedtime then come back to the hospital after (ours would not admit my husband after 8pm so that wasn’t possible for us). Overall it was fine being by myself for one night, my nurses helped a lot. I think this time since my kids are older we will probably leave them the whole time with my parents.

megsmith27 · May 2022

This will be my second. My son is 4 and I know he's going to be devistated not having either one of us there for him. The three of us (and our 2 dogs) do everything together.

We don't really have any capable family that can be with him at home so were hoping our close friends can step in for a few days. And I'm going to do my best to get him excited to stay with his friends ahead of time but we've definitly gotta work it out that my husband goes back to see him during those days! Really love your idea of him being there for bedtime...next on my to do list is to make sure of check in times! Thanks!!

Just wish our son could stay with us in the hospital...that would be the most ideal ssituation. I told my husband that maybe my husband just be there for the birth. But I remember how rough the nights were after my son was born. Sorry thinking aloud lol at least we have some time to plan this out. 😅

megsmith27 · May 2022

@daffodil_shoe I always wanted to be pregnant again and thought if my husband didn't want a second that could be an option for me. I just feel like I would cross that boundary hormonal wise (like out of my control) and get too attached to baby.

You're just like a warrior to me though! Being able to give birth and recover on your own 💪 and I know the joy you will bring to the couple makes it all worth it, but that's what makes you a totally selfless and special person! 😊

daffodil_shoe · May 2022

@megsmith27 everything felt easier after my 2nd, recovery, breastfeeding, etc. so I was pretty independent. And if I don’t even have to take care of a baby this time? Piece of cake 😉 Also I work in the birthing center where I deliver, so I know everyone haha.

mrsngomessingaround · May 2022

My husband stayed home with our first. Hes been to that rodeo and so have you. Honestly you'll probably just enjoy being alone and have the TV to yourself. He checked in with me via text and came with my oldest every now and then but I only stayed one night and then went home. Let dad do dad stuff and you enjoy that baby solo 😉

megsmith27 · May 2022

@mrsngomessingaround thank you! I think this is what will end up happening but he just doesn't want to look like that dad that doesn't care. It's so wierd because he got looked at weirdly the first time around that he stayed with me 24/7 and now we feel like he'll be looked at because he won't be there 24/7. I ended up being induced and having to have emergency c with the first though and was in the hospital for 4 days. So just hoping it goes smoother this time.

L1C4gal · May 2022

We live about 3.5 hours from our families, so our parents will probably come take care of our daughter. She's usually pretty attached to us but once grandparents enter the picture (especially ILs), she invariably forgets we exist

ReadyForaB · May 2022

I assume grandparents will take over. He will be in kindergarten so he will have to go to school if its during the week. I assume my DH will stay with me for the birth and after that tend to DS.

mrsngomessingaround · May 2022

You're welcome. Honestly though, you do what is comfortable for you free of judgment from prying eyes.

bonniekins · May 2022

With my second, my oldest was four and stayed with good friends. This time around I will have a 9 year old and almost 6 year old… so I have school to consider. It will either my best friend who will live an hour away, or my mom. My mom tends to hype my kids up and they end up acting a little crazy so I dunno. Hopefully it’s a Friday so my best friend can come down. Haha.

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