1) what were the sentimental things you did during pregnancy that you did or wish you did? anything from baby bump pictures to special dinner to celebrate.
2) how do I stop obsessing over which products are safe or unsafe to use? I have no chill right now.
1. I used The Belly Book pregnancy journal. It was really low maintenance to track the progress and I'm glad I did it.
2. I make sure my body lotion and sunscreen are safe because it's on my whole body (or a lot of it) and you absorb that, but everything else is in such moderation that it's ok to relax on those items. So basically, if you're using something a lot, check on it. If it's occasional, don't worry so much (unless it's medication and always check with your Dr or midwife). My son turned out just fine
1. I wrote letters to my daughter. My favorite is the one I wrote at about 21 weeks, right after I felt her kick for the first time. Reading back over it I can still get a sense of what it was like having her all to myself, being the only one who could feel her moving, just feeling like she was 100% mine.
2. Not sure if you mean products for yourself while pregnant or baby products, but I think this advice applies to both: do your research but don’t drive yourself crazy. Twelve years ago, I was terrified to get my hair highlighted while pregnant but had no qualms about buying a drop-side crib. Now highlights are considered fine and drop-side cribs are banned. We all do the best we can with the info available to us at the time.
Re: 2 it's mostly about products I use on my body. For example I got this body powder that is mostly corn starch but scented with jasmine. I thought it would be really refreshing to use as we get into warmer weather. But then I was looking up jasmine and there's a lot of information out there about essential oils and tea but it didn't line up with this product. It's premixed, and probably not a lot of essential oil in it. I ultimately decided to stop using it until I can ask my doctor.
I really appreciate your advice on how much the product is used and doing what I can with the info I have. Thank you!
1) I really wish I did more weekly photos. I started really doing them in the late 20 weeks and it was so cool to see how much my body changed from week to well! I also used the Belly Book pregnancy journal and I love looking back on it. Toward the end of my pregnancy I started making little videos for my daughter and myself especially because it was right during the Covid shut down. I wanted to document everything to look back on. So glad I did! 2) I tried to find a balance between keeping myself sane and feeling good. I remember totally cutting out coffee and it made my migraine issues so much worse. So I finally caved and started having a small cup of coffee a day and made my life so much better.
1) I wrote my daughter letters every month starting at about 3 months pregnant and ended at her first birthday. I wish I had taken more pregnancy photos. My ex made me feel bad about myself and I avoided the camera . Now I have like 4 pics from that time
2) Every time I think something is probably fine it turns out it isn’t. I just hope small exposures are ok and try not to worry about it 🤷🏻♀️
Any relationship advice on this big transition period? Any suggestions on what to do with your partner ahead of having a first child? (Conversations to have, trips to take, etc!)
1. I really wish I documented my first pregnancy more- in any fashion. Didn’t do bump pics, maternity pics, or journaling.
2. I just worried about the big things that were recommended as no-no. Otherwise it’s too easy to drive yourself crazy looking into every little thing you use or do
3. Babymoon! We didn’t get to do one the first time around due to Covid (2020) but this time I think we will take our 18mo old with us and do some kind of small trip. We did a lot of date nights and did all the baby stuff together- shopping, doing the nursery. It is much more enjoyable when you’re doing it all together.
@santababy2022 we did a short baby moon and it is something we look back on very fondly. We made it about a month before everything shut down (for Covid) so we are very grateful to have the experience!
I’d also say just try to spend time together doing special things with the two of you. Things will definitely change and it’s nice to feel like you got good quality time in before being thrown into newborn chaos! Also is there anything you two have wanted to do but haven’t got around to yet? My boyfriend and I were together almost 7 years before having our daughter so we felt like we got to do a lot of things on our bucket list which really helps us feel less like “we lost our freedom” after having the baby (like some people say they feel). Hope that makes sense!
4. Did you stockpile any baby items before hand? I'm considering buying a pack of diapers in a few sizes size every month from now until baby comes. The only reason I'm holding off is that I'm fearful I will buy all these diapers and then baby will be sensitive to the brand I buy...is that even a thing? Lol. I just feel like its easier to go shopping now than it will be with a newborn and if I can hit the sales then it'll be more budget friendly too. Any suggestions?
@hspg baby might be sensitive or that brand of diaper might not fit or otherwise work as well as another brand. I tried several brands before landing on one that worked for my son. And then a different brand worked better for my daughter. In geberal, I think it's good to have a variety of all the basic necessities and then bulk up once you know what works for you.
3. When is a good time to take a baby moon? (eta, I mean how many weeks along etc)
4. Not a STM but wanted to add, I read that it's a good idea to stock up on your basic household necessities too. Pet food, medication, basic pantry items, and even paper plates just in case you really can't do dishes for a bit.
@talldecafcappuccino We didn’t take one but they say 2nd trimester for babymoon. Also stockpiling on household items is one of the best things you can do!! Do it early if you can. We went sometime during week 36 and I had DD exactly 37 wks. Also highly recommend making freezer meals!! They come in handy more than I thought possible!
4. Diapers and bottles are super baby-specific! I was given a ton of Pampers and I hated them. I thought they had a really weird smell and they didn't fit right. But I have friends who only use Pampers. I actually loved the cheapest diaper which was Aldi's brand and then overnight Huggies 1 size up. I registered for a bunch of bottles to use after I returned to work and was pumping. My son wouldn't take any of them. It took a ton of trial and error. Also, baby clothes. Don't register for much. Get some basic onesies with short sleeves and long sleeves. When people meet the baby for the 1st time, everyone brings clothes as a gift. Basically, you don't need to stockpile. Amazon is always there in a pinch.
5 What types of pain management did you seek (if any) during labor?
6 I was looking at maternity pants online tonight and saw they have full-band, half band, and fold down bands. This might be a silly question but what do each of those do? Or why might I want to buy one over the other?
5. I got an epidural, which was a lifesaver during labor but slightly less helpful during delivery. I had very fast, super intense back labor and a sunny side-up kid who took her time descending, so I was fully dilated for 4+ hours waiting on her to get where I could start pushing. There’s no way I could have done that unmedicated. But the epidural also kept me from knowing when to push once it was time, so they ended up having to turn it way down so I could push more effectively.
6. Just get the full-band. They’re the most comfortable and the most supportive, and you’ll want them in your third tri regardless so it’s kind of a waste to buy the others.
5. I got an epidural for my first. It was a long labor and when things were getting real I had a huge emotional wave (thanks hormones) but no pain. My second came too fast for any pain relief at all and if she had been positioned better I would have pushed her out within an hour of arriving at the hospital. But due to her position and how fast she was coming I had to be put under general anesthesia for an emergency c-section.
5. I got an epidural eventually. I had a prolonged latent labor (essentially lots of non-painful/not intense contractions but they were coming more than once every five minutes). It honestly wasn’t that bad except I couldn’t sleep through them. Anyways, skipping the story for a few days because it was a lot of that… finally got admitted to the hospital and, after another day, they said they could break my water but I’d need an epidural because it was likely to be intense. I took their offer and… within the hour… I got to 10 cm dilated and had the baby out. 😂 I was so grateful for the epidural with that fast of an active labor!
Re: Ask A STM+ (May)
2) how do I stop obsessing over which products are safe or unsafe to use? I have no chill right now.
2. I make sure my body lotion and sunscreen are safe because it's on my whole body (or a lot of it) and you absorb that, but everything else is in such moderation that it's ok to relax on those items. So basically, if you're using something a lot, check on it. If it's occasional, don't worry so much (unless it's medication and always check with your Dr or midwife). My son turned out just fine
I really appreciate your advice on how much the product is used and doing what I can with the info I have. Thank you!
2) I tried to find a balance between keeping myself sane and feeling good. I remember totally cutting out coffee and it made my migraine issues so much worse. So I finally caved and started having a small cup of coffee a day and made my life so much better.
2) Every time I think something is probably fine it turns out it isn’t. I just hope small exposures are ok and try not to worry about it 🤷🏻♀️
another question for the STMs:
Any relationship advice on this big transition period? Any suggestions on what to do with your partner ahead of having a first child?
(Conversations to have, trips to take, etc!)
2. I just worried about the big things that were recommended as no-no. Otherwise it’s too easy to drive yourself crazy looking into every little thing you use or do
3. Babymoon! We didn’t get to do one the first time around due to Covid (2020) but this time I think we will take our 18mo old with us and do some kind of small trip. We did a lot of date nights and did all the baby stuff together- shopping, doing the nursery. It is much more enjoyable when you’re doing it all together.
4. Not a STM but wanted to add, I read that it's a good idea to stock up on your basic household necessities too. Pet food, medication, basic pantry items, and even paper plates just in case you really can't do dishes for a bit.
Also stockpiling on household items is one of the best things you can do!! Do it early if you can. We went sometime during week 36 and I had DD exactly 37 wks. Also highly recommend making freezer meals!! They come in handy more than I thought possible!
6 I was looking at maternity pants online tonight and saw they have full-band, half band, and fold down bands. This might be a silly question but what do each of those do? Or why might I want to buy one over the other?
Also, I second the freezer meals! So gooooood.