Community› The Bump Month Clubs› September 2022 Moms
September 2022 Moms
New Discussion

Group Status - part 2

kboydbowmankboydbowman member
edited April 2022 in September 2022 Moms
Based on the overall consensus of the previous poll, we will be creating a private group, and it will start toward the end of next month.  The way this will work is that at that point a post will be created which allows people to respond to it saying they want to be a member.  People will "love it" for the responses of people they believe should be allowed in.  Note that this is *not* a popularity contest - the idea is that generally you will "love it" for people who have been regular participants, with the goal being to keep out random passerbys.  Once a person receives a certain number of "love its" (10, perhaps), I will send them a private message with an invite to the private group.

Once the private group is created, the public group will remain open - people are still welcome to comment, start discussions, etc.  But it absolutely will get quieter as many/most of our core group transition to the new forum.  If "new" people want to join the private group, they can do so through engaging in the public group for a period of time to show that their intentions are genuine, and then request access to the private group.  At least some of us (myself included) will continue to participate in the public group as well to help pick up any "stragglers."

That being said, time for the next poll, to help us finalize which platform we will be moving to.  Please feel free to discuss in the comments as well.  If on The Bump, it will be a private group.  If on Facebook, it will be a private "hidden" group (meaning only people who are members of the group can see that the group even exists).  In the interest of transparency, I will note that I *strongly* prefer a Facebook group, but will participate in (and run, if needed) a Bump private group if that is what the majority want.
Current pregnancy -
First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


Group Status - part 2 40 votes

I would prefer to move to a Facebook private/hidden, but I would consider a Bump private group.
47% 19 votes
I will only move to Facebook.
2% 1 vote
I would prefer to move to a Bump private group, but I would consider a Facebook private/hidden group.
27% 11 votes
I will only move to a Bump private group.
10% 4 votes
I will not move to a private group on either platform, under any circumstances.
5% 2 votes
I want and will join both a Bump private group and a Facebook private group (i.e., I want to be in two groups, one on each platform).
7% 3 votes
Report Reply to Post
«1

Re: Group Status - part 2

  • newbabymama27newbabymama27 member
    @kboydbowman love your plan! 
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    I vote for a private group here first. I don't get feel comfortable enough going straight to Facebook with all the personal info that's out there. We need to vet some of the members first.
    DD 10/2019
    Report Reply
  • newbabymama27newbabymama27 member
    @trapperkeeper87 totally get your point! But keep in mind you don’t need to “friend” anyone on FB when you’re part of the group and if you’re already a pretty private person and limit what you share publicly on FB, nobody will really see anything beyond your name and profile picture (at least that’s how I set up my FB unless someone is a friend on there). 
    Report Reply
  • pangolindromepangolindrome member
    I really like this plan!
    Report Reply
  • mamamoomoo12mamamoomoo12 member
    edited April 2022
    Sounds great! I would personally prefer Facebook. The The Bump is just one more thing I have to log in to but would still remain active on here if the majority of people want to stay on this platform.

    Thanks @kboydbowman for taking this on! 
    Report Reply
  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    @trapperkeeper87 I feel the same way. We should bump private first, then Facebook, though maybe this is just because I'm stuck in my ways of what my previous bmbs did adhd liked the way it worked. 
    Report Reply
  • trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    @jhysmath I agree. My last board went private here first and people really opened up a lot more. I'm one of those who doesn't want all of my business and pictures out on the web for everyone to see, especially if I'm a professional again one day. That's always weirded me out when people share so much personal information here along with an easy to find screen name. Our world shares way too much sometimes. 😬
    DD 10/2019
    Report Reply
  • newbabymama27newbabymama27 member
    @mamamoomoo12 I just keep both my bump group windows in the chrome app on my phone and then never have to worry about being logged out or being weird through the app 😊 My private Dec 2019 group stopped working on the actual bump app months ago. I somehow lost access to it there but still have it in the browser? It’s so weird. 
    Report Reply
  • wendy-gwendy-g member
    I really up for either private group, but would prefer Facebook mainly because the bump app is so buggy.
    Report Reply
  • ashking0922ashking0922 member
    I'm also more inclined to say Facebook, just because I'm already on there and all my stuff is private anyways. The bump app is so mean to me, I usually am only active on here when I'm at work on my desktop.
    BUT I'd stay for either one
    Report Reply
  • babywiikbabywiik member
    I dont really see a difference between a private bump group vs a private facebook group. I only have my name and a scenery picture as profile on Facebook and don't have any "friends". So I guess on Facebook you'll see my name but other than that it's only what I share which would be the same on the bump. As far as vetting, won't the "love its" determine who is active and for any new comers later, the ones who are active on the bump can vouch for them?
    Report Reply
  • bigworldlittlegbigworldlittleg member
    Since this is my first time using The Bump, I'm just curious about how things change when it goes private (either on here on or FB)? I figured the tone of the group and how we interact would stay the same, and we just wouldn't have newcomers. But it sounds like some users get more personal/change how they interact?
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @babywiik
    it'll make more sense when you see it in action.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • babywiikbabywiik member
    @kboydbowman with my first bump group we went straight to Facebook and it worked really well. Just not sure how a private bump group would be any different and it just seems like an extra step if we're going to move to Facebook eventually anyways? Or maybe we'd just stay as a private bump group? I'm down for either one though, whatever the group decides. I want everyone to be comfortable with the decision made. Would be dumb to lose anyone because of a move.
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @babywiik I was talking about the "love it" part.  I also am a "go straight to FB" person lol
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • foreveronyoursideforeveronyourside member
    Happy either way 
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @foreveronyourside even if you are cool either way, if you can express a preference it would be helpful. :)
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • newbabymama27newbabymama27 member
    I think if the point is to go private, I don’t see the need to do the bump private first and then FB? I feel like we should just do FB right away if majority is ok with it? 

    @bigworldlittleg in my experience, people tend to share more personal stuff when it’s private and you’re more comfortable when you’re clearly sharing to a specific X amount of people as opposed to anybody that downloads the app. I’m less worried about other new pregnant ladies and more worried about creeps checking out our pictures in the public group and inevitably there will be some ladies that will be excited to share at least one picture of their precious babies or holiday family pictures etc. I’m not saying this will happen here but in my other group we have ladies that get together with their kids for play dates because they’re in the same cities. After years of talking to the same people things just evolve. 
    Report Reply
  • puppiesandbabiespuppiesandbabies member
    I don’t have very strong preferences for a platform. Like some of the others, I’ll move wherever the group moves.
    Report Reply
  • bigworldlittlegbigworldlittleg member
    @newbabymama27 Gotchya, thanks! Yes, when considering the long term, after baby is born and such, makes sense that people will share more if it's private. And now that I think about it, I will likely contribute more to bitch fest threads once it's private hehe :p 
    Report Reply
  • rebornlotusrebornlotus member
    edited April 2022
    Voted.

    ETA: @kboydbowman, I thought you were keeping track of active people & other stats. For me, likes make it a popularity contest. Stats are facts. My vote would be for you and a few other super active ladies to say yea or ney based on how active a person has been in the current group. But that might just be my opinion. 
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @rebornlotus, yeah, for the super active ladies, it will be obvious that they're appropriate.  But we have some people that pop up once every 4-6 weeks and make one or two comments but otherwise aren't active - those are the ones that are a bit more questionable.  While I appreciate the vote of confidence, I also don't want to be in a "god" role and make unilateral decisions (that could create resentment) - it should really be more of a group consensus.
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • babywiikbabywiik member
    In my last bump group there are 5 admins that volunteered to get the Facebook group up in running. Came up with some terms and conditions about being respectful etc. They would talk together privately about newbies joining and we had a cut off date of when newbies could join the group. I think it was a month before babies were due to begin arriving🤔 as far as the ones who were not as active, some of them were asked to participate a bit more before joining but I think everyone who wanted to, joined eventually.
    @kboydbowman did your last bump use the "love it" method? Did it work out well?
    Report Reply
  • puppiesandbabiespuppiesandbabies member
    Based on the discussions on this thread so far, it is starting to feel like a popularity contest.

    The considerations don’t take into account that while the belief that less comments make a member “questionable,” perhaps there are reservations about sharing in a public forum where any questionable person can access.

    I definitely don’t think it healthy to need to prove my worth in order to be voted in.
    Report Reply
  • blanket_girlblanket_girl member
    I mentioned before that I’m not a huge fan of FB, but I will respect/follow the group’s decision

    i agree that the idea of voting on other members does seem a little weird, but I also can’t really think of a fair, democratic alternative. 
    Report Reply
  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    So I don't believe the love tits are a popularity contest. From what we did in my last bmb you live tit that you recognize their name. If some random asks to join and only 3 people recognize the name, because the one time they commented when they introd you were like cool this person likes the same thing as me or this person lives near me and remembered them, it doesn't mean they've been active. So like they're was one a girl from vt that was posting a few times and I was like cool she's from my neck of the woods, then I noticed we had a friend in common because the same name commented on an ig friends thing. I would like tit her because I recognize her name, most of you would not because you don't recognize. It's not about how many comments per day you do, or if people like you, it's about the fact that you are recognized by 10 people in the group. 
    Report Reply
  • puppiesandbabiespuppiesandbabies member
    @jhysmath I like your interpretation - it is more inclusive. Your method is more about safety and community.
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    edited April 2022
    @puppiesandbabies I apologize if I wasn't clear. What I'm talking about is the same thing as what @jhysmath is talking about. The idea is just to make sure that these are indeed women of our community, rather than just creepy stalkers.. Pretty much anyone that people can recognize as having been involved at some point will be allowed in.  It doesn't mean that they have to have participated in every thread or post every day. Intermittent periodic participation is just fine, as long as it's evident that they have been around and involved to some degree. But for example, we have nearly 100 women that posted once months ago and have never been seen from again. If one of those people popped up and said Hey I want to be in the private group, my response would be get involved in the public group a little bit 1st so that we can vet you, and then we'll let you in the private group. Make sense?
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • ashking0922ashking0922 member
    I do understand it, but I will say as someone with anxiety I'm sweating big time like oof what if 10 people don't recognize me- it does exacerbate irrational worries which I know is not the intent
    Report Reply
  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    @ashking0922 irrational thinking in sure, my phone knows your name so I've tagged you quite a few times 😂
    Report Reply
  • puppiesandbabiespuppiesandbabies member
    @kboydbowmanThanks for the clarification. These conditions seem fair to me.

    @ashking0922 I recognize you! I'm sure most people on here do.
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    I don't think anyone who is posting in this thread has anything to worry about lol.  I understand people's fears but trust me when I say this actually is a lot less dramatic than some people are thinking.  And yes, @babywiik, this is what my previous group did and it worked very well!
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • mokay19mokay19 member
    @trapperkeeper87 I agree with vetting people further. Just because the group is private and you don’t have to friend people, they’ll still see our real names. 

    Also, I hate TB interface compared to Facebook group interaction, however, I would prefer getting to know people more first on here still. 

    That last sentence might not even make sense. I’ve worked a lot lately and I’m running low on sleep 😂
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    My FB is actually not exactly my real name - a lot of people in my line of work choose related names that FB is still happy with but allow for some privacy, because being found by clients (especially in my field!) is not optimal (even though all of my "personal" stuff is friends only).
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • pangolindromepangolindrome member
    My FB has my real name and is for family and friends only, and I’m even thinking about locking that down into basically only people I talk to and have in my life, as well as a handful of very special students I’ve taught over the years.

    I like the vetting method. @ashking0922 I completely understand the anxiety part too, but I completely feel that the benefits outweigh the concerns. Also, I definitely recognize you… which means kind of a lot because my brain is a colander.
    Report Reply
  • bigworldlittlegbigworldlittleg member
    Perhaps we can decrease the number of likes to 6 or 7, but I don't think anyone here has to worry about getting enough likes, even those who only post occasionally. @ashking0922 10 people will totally recognize you! We are all supportive and respectful of each other, so this seems like more of a formality, and a way to weed out "Knottie-6969" who asks which daycare you plan to use....
    Report Reply
  • kboydbowmankboydbowman member
    @pangolindrome
    at first I read that as your brain was a cauliflower.  Which would also be funny. :D
    Current pregnancy -
    First BFP on 1/4/22.  Due date 9/13/22.

    Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.


    Report Reply
  • trapperkeeper87trapperkeeper87 member
    The way @jhysmath explained it is perfect, and couldn't have been said better. To add to the discussion, going private here allows us a private space to decide how the Facebook group would be run before jumping right in. You don't typically need a lot of rules in place, but it helps to know what to expect before moving over. It's also a little less overwhelming that way. We vetted that people were real and actually who they said they were by asking for a picture of themselves with a clear bump and face, holding a sign with their screen name, and the date. It was the only bump/face picture a lot of people shared, so it really helped you feel more connected to certain people. I was one of the ones nervous to share a full body picture with face because I'm private and don't want that floating out there, but I did feel safer having it locked in a private group as opposed to public. 

    That said, I hate The Bump app and only access through the browser on my phone. I just keep a tab open to the group here and visit when the desire strikes. 
    DD 10/2019
    Report Reply
  • jhysmathjhysmath member
    @trapperkeeper87 this is exactly what my groups did and I really liked it I think those who wish to go straight to Facebook haven't done this before. I feel it's a needed step before real Facebook comes about. Our picture required is to have a random thing included in it too so that you couldn't just find a picture of a pregnant person and submit that. If you didn't get the picture done by a certain time you were not allowed to go forward. It made me feel safer.

    My Facebook is not my name. The only friends I have on it are previous bmb members and I use only for the use of mostly private/courses Facebook groups. If you were to vet me based on my activity on Facebook you would think I'm never on Facebook. 
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"