Thank you all, you're wonderful! I feel so lucky to have landed with this group of moms-to-be. You've been patient, kind, and empathetic as I angst about all of this for the last 5 weeks, and I can't tell you how much I have appreciated it. I'm so happy to get to stick with you all as my husband and I transition from "dreading results" to "getting excited again!"
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
So, so happy for you @lilienne. I have a friend in a similar position but for a different genetic condition & she hasn't even told her mum or sisters because she was born without any "tells" and testing at birth was negative - telling you so you know that the decision to do that seems quite common 😊
@wiseh yeah...it would have been "smart" for us not to discuss it, given the possibility of everything turning out fine. That said, being in limbo for 5 weeks was hell, and it would have been intolerable if we had tried to keep quiet about what we were going through. We didn't discuss the specifics with most people - they know there's a potential chromosomal problem, but nothing about DS. That will have to be good enough, as it was what we needed in order to stay sane(ish)!
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
We had our 20w appt with our doctor yesterday and I apparently lost 1 pound. On my scale at home, I've been maintaining all month and am up 2 pounds from our first appt Jan 31. She "doesn't want to see this as a trend". I on the other hand know that I started this pregnancy overweight.
I was already on a downward trend from October through December before I got pregnant. I lost 15 pounds once wedding planning was over (wish that would have happened before wedding lol). Then, starting in January I gained an aversion to coffee (which means creamer) and sweets (abnormal for me). 20 weeks of better eating habits doesn't sound unhealthy to me. I'm still a good 30 pounds heavier than my personal healthy weight.
@laj0217 and @dsmith211 I think the baby weight gained is being counteracted by fat lost. I tried to explain that to her, but she reinforced that she wants to see weight gain.
@leannechristina I've also maintained my weight and haven't gained a single pound since my 1st appt. My OB hasn't said a word. As long as baby looks good she isn't concerned. I've been on a GD diet for the majority of this pregnancy so I also believe healthier eating habits and potential fat loss are offsetting any baby-weight gain. As long as little one looks good I'm going to let my weight do what it wants.
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@Ashley35209 I’m definitely listening to my body on this one. I don’t feel weak or ill. I think since Zig is measuring behind it affects her stand on it. He’s not really behind though because I ovulated a week late and we made him on the same “1 week behind” timeline. He measures perfectly for my personal cycle. And is gaining a day at each u/s appt. I guess I just wanted to hear her agree.
@leannechristina I think some doctors are just set in their ways. I historically have small babies and she knows that. This one is also measuring a little small but she's not too concerned because she says she just expects small babies from me now. DD was 6lb, DS was 4lb4oz but he was IUGR. She expects this one to be within that range, too.
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I’m looking forward to building a relationship with her. I’ve brought DS to her for a couple years just for his annual check ups, but I haven’t been her patient until this pregnancy. We’re planning to have another soon after *fx* so I’m sure we’ll develop a better understanding as we go.
@leannechristina everything looked good at the anatomy scan so I’m just gonna keep doing what I was doing. I was about 15 lbs overweight based on the BMI charts and 25 lbs heavier than I am comfortable with before I got pregnant. Everything I read says you should gain less if you started off heavier, so it is what it is.
I had my anatomy scan and then meeting with the mfm at the big hospital today. I loved my US tech I had her before which I find funny because it's such a large hospital you'd think you wouldn't get a repeat. After that I went for my appointment which was supposed to be with the mfm I saw for my seconds pregnancy due to complications, but it wasn't. What made it worse as I'm sitting down the nurse is like you're seeing this person today. I said no I checked yesterday it's this person. Then she comes back with an iPad and said no you got switched yesterday you're seeing this person and she's home sick so you're meeting with her virtually.
It felt so impersonal to Skype someone in the doctors office. Like I get virtual when I'm at home, but I'm physically here, give me a doctor who is here. The only other time I met this one, was for my last pregnancy I had to be educated on what going post dates with a vbac at their hospital meant and if I needed an augmentation what that would look like. This was virtual in May of 2020 like is this doctor actually here? She said she got covid and that's why she's home, but still in frustrated. Even more so because I asked, if we're still living in here when it comes time to have baby, when should I switch to be part of them and she said you can come down for an US at 35 weeks and really you don't need to switch until you give birth, that's normally what we do. So now I feel like I don't get to know them and I'm just a product. She told me because I'm a vba2c and never given birth and all this hoopla into a calculator I only have a 38% chance of a vbac, which is more than if I were to go get a c-section, but the odds aren't in my favor. She said if I have another large baby they won't allow for the tolac and would schedule a c-section. I'm just so frustrated as they're the only hospital in our state that will allow for a vba2c, and she stated how safe they were and they were recommended at the beginning of our chat, and then looks up my file and is like oh well its probably not going to happen.
I did ask if I could see the midwives they have there and that was a straight up no, I had to see whatever ob was on when I delivered.
At this point, I really just want to pretend I'm not in labor and accidentally have a baby at home unassisted, which would really scare my husband.
@jhysmath ugh that sucks so hardcore. I wish I could send you my doula friend from Toronto to try a home birth!
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
@kboydbowman a home birth is not legal in nh, VT or ny for a vba2c. I wouldn't want to put anyone in jeopardy for legal action for being present if that happened.
@ashking0922 the law is for midwives and practioners, so I'm assuming if no one of there with a license they can't do anything about it? My husband wouldn't be happy about unassisted or free birthing and I hope to live with him for the rest of our lives 😂
@ashking0922 others here probably know more than me, but I think the thing that is illegal is for licensed/certified medical professionals to attend a home birth under circumstances where a home birth is considered "unsafe." I don't think the laws are intended to penalize the mother, though I could be wrong about that.
@jhysmath sorry to hear about the appointment, that whole situation sounds frustrating from start to finish! I will keep my fingers crossed that you get your vba2c, even if this latest appointment wasn't so encouraging.
First time mom-to-be, due 9/25/22
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
@ashking0922 I live in Alabama and home births are illegal here. Midwives are also illegal in the home setting. I think there is one hospital locally that empolys a midwife but she works along side an OB. I know people who will drive across the state line to TN just to have a home birth.
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Growth scan today since the last midwife seemed to think this baby was measuring way ahead. Apparently I just look 25 weeks at about 19… bc baby is completely normal sized. If anything only a few days ahead. I at least go pictures out of it though!
@JRae2015 Actually it looks like they just made it legal in January of 2019. But they are only legal for those with uncomplicated pregnancy. High blood pressure or diabetes gets you disqualified. They would laugh in my face if I asked for that. I've got too many issues to count.
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This week's cervical check is at 3.73 cm, which is a bit shorter but still in the good range.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
There are two types of midwives: CNMs and CPMs. It is my understanding the CPMs have training that is more specific to births out of hospitals. Some states allow CPMs to attend out-of-hospital births, others do not. Other variations in what states allow apply to out-of-hospital births of multiples and VBACs.
We had dental cleanings on Friday and our dentist ended up doing mine. 1. He is SO EXCITED for us. 2. I got huge praise for how well I’ve been taking care of my mouth.
This is big for me because I’m kind of lazy with my dental care, but we got a water pick that hooks up to the shower and it has been a game changer for me. I’ll just floss in the shower and it’s super quick, then I feel like I might as well also brush my teeth since I flossed 😆 Scheduled again in three months so we can clean my teeth before Tiny Taylor (it’s our last name) comes along.
@pangolindrome That is so awesome to get such positive feedback! I had a dental cleaning this morning, and the tech said the doctor would be coming in after she cleaned my teeth. I though for sure it was for bad news. I'm so relieved that there are no cavities! I don't brush twice a day and especially through this pregnancy the quality of the brushing near the back has declined. I've been feeling more sensitivities in my teeth, so I thought for sure I dropped the ball. IDK if I'm actually more sensitive or just paranoid. Either way, I'll take it! It makes me want to start doing better with my routines, so I can keep this streak going.
@leannechristina hormones. They also make your teeth and gums more sensitive. I went to the dentist 10 months postpartum and the hygienist (knew I had a baby) asked if I was still breast feeding because my gums weren't as tight against my teeth as they should be.
Re: April Appointments Thread
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
I was already on a downward trend from October through December before I got pregnant. I lost 15 pounds once wedding planning was over (wish that would have happened before wedding lol). Then, starting in January I gained an aversion to coffee (which means creamer) and sweets (abnormal for me). 20 weeks of better eating habits doesn't sound unhealthy to me. I'm still a good 30 pounds heavier than my personal healthy weight.
@laj0217 and @dsmith211 I think the baby weight gained is being counteracted by fat lost. I tried to explain that to her, but she reinforced that she wants to see weight gain.
It felt so impersonal to Skype someone in the doctors office. Like I get virtual when I'm at home, but I'm physically here, give me a doctor who is here. The only other time I met this one, was for my last pregnancy I had to be educated on what going post dates with a vbac at their hospital meant and if I needed an augmentation what that would look like. This was virtual in May of 2020 like is this doctor actually here? She said she got covid and that's why she's home, but still in frustrated. Even more so because I asked, if we're still living in here when it comes time to have baby, when should I switch to be part of them and she said you can come down for an US at 35 weeks and really you don't need to switch until you give birth, that's normally what we do. So now I feel like I don't get to know them and I'm just a product. She told me because I'm a vba2c and never given birth and all this hoopla into a calculator I only have a 38% chance of a vbac, which is more than if I were to go get a c-section, but the odds aren't in my favor. She said if I have another large baby they won't allow for the tolac and would schedule a c-section. I'm just so frustrated as they're the only hospital in our state that will allow for a vba2c, and she stated how safe they were and they were recommended at the beginning of our chat, and then looks up my file and is like oh well its probably not going to happen.
I did ask if I could see the midwives they have there and that was a straight up no, I had to see whatever ob was on when I delivered.
At this point, I really just want to pretend I'm not in labor and accidentally have a baby at home unassisted, which would really scare my husband.
ugh that sucks so hardcore. I wish I could send you my doula friend from Toronto to try a home birth!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
@ashking0922 homebirth is only not legal with a vba2c. All 3 states have laws about not being able to have a vba2c outside of a hospital setting.
@jhysmath sorry to hear about the appointment, that whole situation sounds frustrating from start to finish! I will keep my fingers crossed that you get your vba2c, even if this latest appointment wasn't so encouraging.
Some complicated chromosomal stuff going on - our fingers are crossed, but this may not go according to plan!
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
There are two types of midwives: CNMs and CPMs. It is my understanding the CPMs have training that is more specific to births out of hospitals. Some states allow CPMs to attend out-of-hospital births, others do not. Other variations in what states allow apply to out-of-hospital births of multiples and VBACs.
1. He is SO EXCITED for us.
2. I got huge praise for how well I’ve been taking care of my mouth.
Scheduled again in three months so we can clean my teeth before Tiny Taylor (it’s our last name) comes along.
I had a dental cleaning this morning, and the tech said the doctor would be coming in after she cleaned my teeth. I though for sure it was for bad news. I'm so relieved that there are no cavities! I don't brush twice a day and especially through this pregnancy the quality of the brushing near the back has declined. I've been feeling more sensitivities in my teeth, so I thought for sure I dropped the ball. IDK if I'm actually more sensitive or just paranoid. Either way, I'll take it! It makes me want to start doing better with my routines, so I can keep this streak going.