Feeling resentful

knottieff980a92792229bf · October 2018

hello. I’m having an issue with my sister. Our baby’s are 2.5months apart. Mine is 6mo hers is almost 4mo. I had to go back to work at 10 weeks and was very upset because my girl had to go to a Mother’s Day out (daycare). I’m not against daycare I just feel in my heart I want her home while she is still a baby and cannot play with other kids.

Well I feel like my sister always complains about her baby and how hard he is (she said he’s harder than my baby) PSA all baby’s are hard, that’s part of it I just don’t complain about it so she thinks she is easy. Well she doesn’t work and she is about to enroll him in a Mother’s Day out daycare. She keeps trying to talk to me about it and all I can think about is why would u do that when you have the means to stay home with him. It makes me so sad and a little resentful. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I end up being bitchy. Again, I’m not against daycare I feel like she is doing it for the wrong reasons. I dk if I’m overreacting it’s just really hard for me to listen to her. I’d do anything to be home with my girl right now while she’s tiny......

meggyme · October 2018

knottieff980a92792229bf said:

hello. I’m having an issue with my sister. Our baby’s are 2.5months apart. Mine is 6mo hers is almost 4mo. I had to go back to work at 10 weeks and was very upset because my girl had to go to a Mother’s Day out (daycare). I’m not against daycare I just feel in my heart I want her home while she is still a baby and cannot play with other kids.

Well I feel like my sister always complains about her baby and how hard he is (she said he’s harder than my baby) PSA all baby’s are hard, that’s part of it I just don’t complain about it so she thinks she is easy. Well she doesn’t work and she is about to enroll him in a Mother’s Day out daycare. She keeps trying to talk to me about it and all I can think about is why would u do that when you have the means to stay home with him. It makes me so sad and a little resentful. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I end up being bitchy. Again, I’m not against daycare I feel like she is doing it for the wrong reasons. I dk if I’m overreacting it’s just really hard for me to listen to her. I’d do anything to be home with my girl right now while she’s tiny......

You are assuming she doesn't ever need a break in the same way that she is assuming that you have it easy. Don't take out your frustrations with having to go back to work before you are ready on your sister because she is making a different choice than you would in her situation. You are not the person to judge whether she is doing it for the "wrong reasons" or not just because you'd rather be home with your child. If you can't talk to her about in a calm manner then just say so. Say "I'd give anything to be able to stay home with my child so I don't think I can talk calmly about that."

Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM just like not everyone is cut out to be a working mom. And all mom's need breaks.

loveallthings · October 2018

meggyme said:

knottieff980a92792229bf said:

hello. I’m having an issue with my sister. Our baby’s are 2.5months apart. Mine is 6mo hers is almost 4mo. I had to go back to work at 10 weeks and was very upset because my girl had to go to a Mother’s Day out (daycare). I’m not against daycare I just feel in my heart I want her home while she is still a baby and cannot play with other kids.

Well I feel like my sister always complains about her baby and how hard he is (she said he’s harder than my baby) PSA all baby’s are hard, that’s part of it I just don’t complain about it so she thinks she is easy. Well she doesn’t work and she is about to enroll him in a Mother’s Day out daycare. She keeps trying to talk to me about it and all I can think about is why would u do that when you have the means to stay home with him. It makes me so sad and a little resentful. I don’t want to talk to her about it because I end up being bitchy. Again, I’m not against daycare I feel like she is doing it for the wrong reasons. I dk if I’m overreacting it’s just really hard for me to listen to her. I’d do anything to be home with my girl right now while she’s tiny......

You are assuming she doesn't ever need a break in the same way that she is assuming that you have it easy. Don't take out your frustrations with having to go back to work before you are ready on your sister because she is making a different choice than you would in her situation. You are not the person to judge whether she is doing it for the "wrong reasons" or not just because you'd rather be home with your child. If you can't talk to her about in a calm manner then just say so. Say "I'd give anything to be able to stay home with my child so I don't think I can talk calmly about that."

Not everyone is cut out to be a SAHM just like not everyone is cut out to be a working mom. And all mom's need breaks.

Exactly.

knottie5afa8959c35b7ef9 · April 2022

You’re both assuming things about each other and it’s not healthy.

She assumes yours is easy, you assume she doesn’t need a break and is perfectly capable of doing everything because you wish that you could.

These feelings are okay. But watch the thoughts around them. Learn to understand that both you and her are doing the best jobs they can and not to judge. Take your feelings and instead of thinking about how others do their jobs mothering or how they think- just focus on you, your baby and your work. Do your best to focus on what you enjoy about your own life.

If you get a chance, understand and have empathy that some moms that don’t work need a break and that’s perfectly okay.
I know I’ll need one since I have multiple chronic illnesses, I know people are gonna judge me - but the fact is I can only do so much and self care is important so that I can be my best when I’m around my baby.

Just focus on YOU.

nicademus20 · April 2022

*deleted reply*

Want a personalized experience?

Feeling resentful

Re: Feeling resentful

Choose Another Board

Search Boards