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Did Labor & Delivery Dr Spoil Gender?!

krislmcgoughkrislmcgough member
in 3rd Trimester
Hello! We have been team green all pregnancy. We are due in 2 weeks, I recently had a morning with far less fetal movement than usual. Labor and Delivery told me to come in so they could put me on the monitor. After getting hooked up by a few nurses a doctor whom I hadn’t met yet came in the room and said “Hello! So do we have a name picked out for this little girl yet?!” To which I replied “…no”. I was so caught off guard but she continued on using she/her the whole conversation. I couldn’t bring myself to mention I didn’t know the gender. Then an hour later a nurse who I hadn’t met before came in while unstrapping my monitors looked and said “you’re having a girl, right?” And I said “we don’t know” she replied “”oh…..I’ll just refer to her as a she since I already did.” Now I’m going crazy wondering if they spoiled it or not!!
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Re: Did Labor & Delivery Dr Spoil Gender?!

  • harpseal135harpseal135 member
    krislmcgough said:
    Hello! We have been team green all pregnancy. We are due in 2 weeks, I recently had a morning with far less fetal movement than usual. Labor and Delivery told me to come in so they could put me on the monitor. After getting hooked up by a few nurses a doctor whom I hadn’t met yet came in the room and said “Hello! So do we have a name picked out for this little girl yet?!” To which I replied “…no”. I was so caught off guard but she continued on using she/her the whole conversation. I couldn’t bring myself to mention I didn’t know the gender. Then an hour later a nurse who I hadn’t met before came in while unstrapping my monitors looked and said “you’re having a girl, right?” And I said “we don’t know” she replied “”oh…..I’ll just refer to her as a she since I already did.” Now I’m going crazy wondering if they spoiled it or not!!
    A fetal heart rate will not tell the sex of the baby.  

    From my experience and told from my ultrasound tech - the sex is not recorded in your records.  Unless things changed since then.  

    I honestly would have exploded at the doctor and nurse- whether girl or not it was very unprofessional.  

    They may have spoiled it, but honestly I would just keep it behind you abd as soon as anyone walks in the room for now on,  immediately tell them we do not know the sex, please do not say! 
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  • swizzlemalarkeyswizzlemalarkey member
    It’s possible, since two people said it. I’m sorry if they spoiled it for you. That was very unprofessional. I’m pretty sure everyone asked me what I was having but I can’t remember. 
    The sex might have been in your chart if you got a NIPS or if they recorded it at the anatomy scan. But you’d think they’d have something on there that says “patient does not know sex”. I guess you’ll find out soon enough!
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  • turtletaylor0522turtletaylor0522 member
    Unfortunately, the sex of your baby is probably listed in your chart and they were referring to that. At my hospital I have access to all my records and I checked just now to answer this question. It very clearly says “male” under “fetal sex.” It’s listed near his most recent estimated weight and due date. 

    We are having a boy and have known the whole time, but every one of my nurses, doctors, and midwives have asked AS THEY ENTERED THE ROOM if we knew what we were having yet. I’m sure this was to make sure they didn’t spoil it. 

    I feel really bad for you! I never wanted a surprise but I understand the excitement you must have been feeling to meet baby and find out! Hopefully the rest of your care team will be a little more sensitive throughout the rest of your pregnancy. 
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