Negative Body Talk

winterviolethope · March 2022

This board is pretty dead so I hope no one
minds if I start a new thread.

This is not a “girl” issue but for some reason, I’m thinking about it more as I’m about to have my first girl (I have two boys currently and I already am seeing the affects in the older one).
How do you shut down people’s negative body talk around your kids? I feel like I'm surrounded by women who always make comments like “Im so fat” “ugh I can’t eat that…” etc.
my older son (6) asked me if he looked fat the other day. It crushed me.
Im reading articles but I’m having trouble finding just clean, easy phrases I can say in the moment that won’t make the situation awkward.
Does anyone have a canned thing they say when a friend is over and says “im so fat” or “does this make me look fat?” Etc.

bluebrrry · March 2022

I’ve yet to find something that isn’t a little bit awkward but sometimes “why would you talk about yourself like that?” is effective at least to have people stop making their comments around you!

I’ve worked with eating disorders before and I find a body neutrality type thinking is better than trying to be overly positive…for example gratitude for what your body can do and focusing on nutrition and being active because it feels good

Really good topic though, my dad and his side of the family are obsessed with diets and weight and I’m really trying to avoid perpetuating that. He’s made a bunch of offhand comments about if I’ve gained weight while pregnant

jessabelle05 · March 2022

It depends on the friend and the relationship I have with them. When my boyfriend says crappy things about his own weight I’ve gotten to the point where tell him to knock it off, or say “I don’t appreciate people talking about my boyfriend that way” even though it makes him roll his eyes. I make it sort of a joke, but also want them to know I care. Like - hey, don’t say mean things about yourself. I love you, and I don’t like hearing negative things about you. If that makes sense?

missa_lyssa · March 2022

I’ve thought about this kind of thing too. This will be my first child, so I don’t have any prior experience, but it seems to me that one thing that could help is to preemptively point out good things about my son’s (and future children’s) body - like @bluebrrry said, not in an overly positive way, but in a more neutral way. Like talking about how they are growing and how strong they are getting, as well as telling them they look good without commenting on things like weight. Telling them how much we love their eyes and their smiles. Things like that.

For our family, since we are Christian, this can also include telling our kids that their bodies were designed and made by a Creator who loves them exactly as they are.

I also want to try to avoid talking negatively about my own body and to make sure my husband and I compliment each other’s bodies (appropriately 😋) in front of our kids.

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