Ask a STM+ (March)

ponyoisfun · March 2022

Hi everyone! Hope you all are having a good weekend!

I have loved reading all of the introductions from excited mommas. It seems like we have a really nice mix of FTM and STM+. This discussion will be a place to ask STM+ any questions you might have this month.

ponyoisfun · March 2022

I am a ttm, but I have a question for those out there with several kids. Do you do three across for car seats? Have you upgraded your car since having kids?

We are looking for a new vehicle, but have no idea where to begin.

mali0902 · March 2022

@ponyoisfun YES! This is such a good question. I'm also a ttm and looking for a new car. I'm thinking Ford Explorer, but a must for me is captain chairs. I like the idea of a path between the middle seats to get to the back more easily.

whitta1015 · March 2022

*Lurking from September* @mali0902 I would not recommend a Ford Explorer. I had one with captains seats and I loved it but there is no room in the second row once you have car seats in there. My daughter complained about leg room and my husband complained about legroom in the front when she was behind him. I upgraded to a new Ford Expedition with captains seats and I am so in love with it! Another one of my friends upgraded from her explorer for the same reason.

mali0902 · March 2022

@whitta1015 I want an expedition so so badly, but we just can't swing it right now #teachersalary

whitta1015 · March 2022

@mali0902 I totally get that! Idk what I'm gonna do if gas prices keep going up! I'll probably be figuring out how to cram 2 car seats in a prius. haha

sunshine2417 · March 2022

@ponyoisfun minivan life may be calling your name! 🚐 We switched to a minivan after my 2nd kid because we have a lot of cousins nearby + I did at home childcare for a year. I loooove my minivan, though part of me sometimes wishes I went straight to a suburban-type car.

sejica · March 2022

When we switched to kid mode we got a Ford Transit Connect. We liked it so much we got another. Cannot recommend enough.

mflowers929 · March 2022

We have a Kia Sedona. We're planning on putting the older 2 in the last row together and the baby in the middle row and taking out the other middle seat

ponyoisfun · March 2022

@mflowers929
DH keeps talking about a Kia... I guess I need to actually start looking at cars or he will just make the decision.

@whitta1015 we have a Prius right now and two car seats is really not that bad. Three on the other hand is what I am worried about.

mflowers929 · March 2022

@ponyoisfun it wasn't our first choice at the time. We like to buy used cars in cash, but the car that we had bought had the timing belt snapped and destroyed the engine just about a month after we had bought it. So we were without a vehicle, had used all of the cash that we had previously saved, and our credit was piss poor at the time. So we went to a used car dealership that dealt with people with bad credit and it was the only thing we could get approved for.
I'm still not a fan of having a car loan but I'm definitely loving the minivan life lol

js1213 · March 2022

@mali0902
We just got a hyundai palisade with captains chairs and I love it. I don't know how 3rd row would handle a car seat though since I only have one kid.

chuckle_sandwich · March 2022

We have a 4Runner with third row, but I’m unsure of the best way to fit three kids in. I think my daughter is big enough for a booster but my son isn’t. We are very rural and 50 miles from a decent sized town for groceries/errands so my my daughter would be more helpful sitting near an infant than my son, lol But trying to get to the third row to buckle him would be a annoying...hah!

ponyoisfun · March 2022

Thank you everyone for the practical info and tips. I really appreciate it because I didn't even know where to begin when I asked.

ftmhem · March 2022

Hey STMs, I'm really struggling with nausea. I've got the tea and the drops, I keep eating small meals, but I never feel well. Does this really happen every day for eight weeks? How have you coped? For those who work office jobs, how do you get through the day?

sunshine2417 · March 2022

@ftmhem the only thing that truly worked for me was taking diclegis (prescribed) or the generic version, which is 1 unisom sleeptab + vitamin B6. (NOT unisom sleepgels. It’s a different main ingredient)

mali0902 · March 2022

@ftmhem for some of us, yes. Weeeeeks of feeling worse than a dumpster. I'm already taking the generic diclegis for this pregnancy and had to take it the entire time for my previous 2. It's the only thing that really takes the edge of. I also need to snack 24/7. Which is particularly challenging because zero food is appetizing to me right now. Minty gum is also a life saver.

PurplePumpernickel · March 2022

@ftmhem I hear you. It gets better, but not quickly. Mint gum and wintergreen altoids are helping me, so is mint tea. Crackers, dry toast. Honestly at a certain point I just had to get through it. It sucks, and you have our solidarity here.

I have a day long work retreat Saturday, and I'm really hoping my nausea isn't too bad!

anmd · March 2022

Hate to scare you, but with my first I was sicker than heck allllllll the way until 18 weeks. I mean sick sick sick barely able to function. Then one day it just miraculously went away!

sarahblueberry · March 2022

Any second/third/etc time moms feel totally different this time around?

I was SO nauseous with my first pregnancy, which was terrible but also so reassuring! This time around, I feel mostly fine. My tummy feels “weird” occasionally and I’ve been noticing some heart “flutters” or like a racing heart feeling, plus being out of breath (but of course I keep overthinking those symptoms and second guessing whether I felt that way before I had the positive test. My next ultrasound appointment is in less than a week, but I can’t stop worrying that something is not right because of the lack of nausea. Would love to know if anyone else is or has experienced different symptoms with each pregnancy. Thank you!

sejica · March 2022

knottie1c10ab824a4df7ac said:

Any second/third/etc time moms feel totally different this time around?

I was SO nauseous with my first pregnancy, which was terrible but also so reassuring! This time around, I feel mostly fine. My tummy feels “weird” occasionally and I’ve been noticing some heart “flutters” or like a racing heart feeling, plus being out of breath (but of course I keep overthinking those symptoms and second guessing whether I felt that way before I had the positive test. My next ultrasound appointment is in less than a week, but I can’t stop worrying that something is not right because of the lack of nausea. Would love to know if anyone else is or has experienced different symptoms with each pregnancy. Thank you!

I had way worse morning sickness with my daughter/1st pregnancy. With both boys/2nd&3rd pregnancy my heartburn was more extreme. I'm feeling more nauseous, and sooner, than with the boys, but also my heartburn is back, so maybe a girl again? Maybe heartburn is just my life now?

mflowers929 · March 2022

@knottie1c10ab824a4df7ac With my daughter I was definitely sicker at the beginning than with my son. I'm not feeling sick this time so I'm thinking it's another boy lol

@ftmhem like others have said, sadly it doesn't necessarily go away early on. I was super sick with my daughter at the beginning, to the point that I lost weight. Not vomiting, just super nauseated. The only thing that helped me was heavy duty nausea pills that they normally give to cancer patients, and even then I could still feel a bit of nausea until I was past 20 weeks =/ With my son I was barely nauseous at the beginning but I got cholestasis at the end of my pregnancy and if you even looked at me wrong I was throwing up (why am I doing this again? lol)

chuckle_sandwich · March 2022

knottie1c10ab824a4df7ac said:

Any second/third/etc time moms feel totally different this time around?

I was SO nauseous with my first pregnancy, which was terrible but also so reassuring! This time around, I feel mostly fine. My tummy feels “weird” occasionally and I’ve been noticing some heart “flutters” or like a racing heart feeling, plus being out of breath (but of course I keep overthinking those symptoms and second guessing whether I felt that way before I had the positive test. My next ultrasound appointment is in less than a week, but I can’t stop worrying that something is not right because of the lack of nausea. Would love to know if anyone else is or has experienced different symptoms with each pregnancy. Thank you!

Same here girl! With my first two I started getting nauseous early on. I’m at 6 weeks today and haven’t had any real nausea. Makes me nervous as well and my first midwife appointment/ultrasound isn’t until April 11th.

michellelynn6 · March 2022

ftmhem said:

Hey STMs, I'm really struggling with nausea. I've got the tea and the drops, I keep eating small meals, but I never feel well. Does this really happen every day for eight weeks? How have you coped? For those who work office jobs, how do you get through the day?

With my first I was sick every single day from around 6 weeks until 14 weeks. I worked in an office at the time and took diclegis at night (it’s unisom + b6) to survive.

This time around, I feel like my nausea is just as bad but my food aversions are WAY worse. Even just the smell or thought of certain foods has me gagging. My morning sickness started way earlier this time too. Not sure if it means anything. Thankfully this time around I work from home entirely so I don’t have to worry about my coworkers bringing in crawfish pie like when I was pregnant with my son 😂

bdl4349 · March 2022

@michellelynn6 cring to crawfish pie 😂😂😂

sunshine2417 · March 2022

@michellelynn6 crawfish pie?!?! That does not sound appetizing at all… 🤢

mali0902 · March 2022

Any STM+ out there who had gestational diabetes for one pregnancy but NOT with the next? I didn't have it with my first but had it with my second. This is my third and I'm wondering what experiences others have had. My ob says it's based on the placenta so it could be different each time, but my gut is telling me this may be a repeat of my last

sejica · March 2022

@mali0902 I failed my 1hr glucose only with my first, passed with #2&3. As long as your gd didn't persist pp, I'd trust your ob. You can always get the 1hr test sooner, and repeat it if you're worried.

anmd · March 2022

Hi! I would super super recommending checking out the books by lily nichols
- real food for gestational diabetes
And
-real food for pregnancy

they are incredibly informative. I pray that these will help prevent GD from occurring this time around

coldlife2 · March 2022

ponyoisfun said:

I am a ttm, but I have a question for those out there with several kids. Do you do three across for car seats? Have you upgraded your car since having kids?

We are looking for a new vehicle, but have no idea where to begin.

We’ve done three across, and we still do even though we now have a vehicle with a third row because I don’t want to deal with getting one in and out of back there.

Right now, we have a bucket seat with its base and two convertible forward facing seats. They fit just fine in our basic, average four-door car. For the second convertible, we specifically bought a Diono. It’s unbelievably heavy, but if you research, you’ll see it’s by far the narrowest car seat out there. The other convertible is some cheap brand.

Soon, the oldest will be going into a backless booster, and the youngest will get one of the convertibles. I do plan to keep them all in the second row until this baby comes for ease of getting them out.

ponyoisfun · March 2022

@coldlife2 Thank you you so much for the tips!

clee5711 · March 2022

@knottie1c10ab824a4df7ac im pregnant with #4. My first 3 are all boys and each pregnancy was different. So far this pregnancy is reminding me of my first. I’m am so nauseous/exhausted but no sore boobs yet. My 2nd one I was only a little nauseous during 1st trimester and with my 3rd I felt pretty great.

ponyoisfun · March 2022

I am feeling AWFUL! I don't know how I will survive this trimester. I have 2 kids and work full time. DH is the sahd. We haven't told our families yet, but should we to ask for help? I am not sure if they even would be able to... Any other tips to survive full time work and kids?

sunshine2417 · March 2022

@ponyoisfun always ask for help if you can! Do you have any babysitters or even a “mother’s helper” age kiddo nearby who could play with your kids for a bit? Could you take any time off work or talk with your doctor for medicine to help?

mali0902 · March 2022

@ponyoisfun I'm right there with you! We told my parents a couple weekends ago and I'm so glad we did because the following week, my mom cooked us a weeks worth of dinners 😭 I'm not sure if you have that kind of relationship, but having those meals off my plate (literally 🤢 and figuratively) helped so, so much!

ponyoisfun · March 2022

@sunshine2417 and @mali0902 Thank you so much for your suggestions. I think I will try everything. I just feel so crappy that its like I can't even think.

autumnchase1122 · April 2022

FTM Question - For a nursery, would you all recommend a comfy recliner or a rocking chair with ottoman? Or somewhere in the middle? Torn between the thought of rocking the baby and being able to rest fully while nursing in the immediate weeks after birth.

mflowers929 · April 2022

@autumnchase1122 I actually have one of those Swedish style recliners that's just perfect because you can rock a bit but also rest quite easily in it. I think most come with a footstool as well, although ours is pretty old so it was long ago lost. It was perfect for sitting and rocking my daughter in on those long first colicky nights 🥴
Like this (although mine is a touch more reclined)

Image: https://cdn20.pamono.com/p/g/7/6/766875_jbx15wxxh8/swedish-armchair-1980s-1.jpg

sunshine2417 · April 2022

@autumnchase1122 personally I have a glider with a foot ottoman glider that I love (unfortunately from Babies R Us so I can’t link it) but it’s perfect for rocking infants and babies and toddlers and 5 year olds to sleep. A recliner unfortunately just wouldn’t be very practical for nursing initially, unless you have oversupply or a heavy letdown.

sejica · April 2022

@autumnchase1122 we have a lay-z-boy rocking recliner, for the best of both worlds. That said, we primarily use the rocking function, especially early pp. I do however, sleep in the recliner around week 39, because it's the only place I can.

PurplePumpernickel · April 2022

We had a nice comfortable easy chair that we used in lieu of a rocker. TBH I don't really want a rocker; I want to be able to sit on my butt and nurse or read books without constant motion.

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