I am hearing crickets... Is it too late to join? Maybe I misunderstood, but it sounded like I needed hearts on my post to be added and not a single person has given me a heart 🥺
@willowhisper we asked everyone to lovetit the posts of those that they recognized as being regular participants on the board (so you would lovetit the posts on this thread of those who you recognized as regularly contributing to the board, and then others would do the same for your post if they recognized you as a regular participant).
I’m less concerned about myself, but others seem to be lost in the shuffle. Being a soon to be 4th time mom, I know how crucial it is to have a mom community when you’re starting out. I feel bad for some of these women!
Just want to point out that as accounts are deactivated and people leave, their love tits disappear. Basing FB invites on love tits may not be the most accurate. I know I’ve lost some… unless I ticked some people off at some point. Could happen, so not out of the realm of possibility, but I’d put my money on people leaving and taking their love tits with them. Also, the app hasn’t allowed me to love anyone’s comment for sometime now. This is the first time in awhile, I’ve been able to comment. One of the big reasons I haven’t been as active as the FB in crowd. I’m mobil and the app is finicky and annoying. If I experience that, surely others have as well.
Please reconsider these women. Maybe check their histories on the bump to sniff out any trolls. When it comes to mom groups, it’s always best to have more experiences to draw from as kids age than less.
I've participated/commented/posted numerous times. Didn't realize it would be a popularity contest. I would have commented more times, but this app is really frustrating.
Thanks for saying that @boymom312 💖. Feeling that very much, especially as we are zeroing in on due dates. Pandemic has kept many of us pretty isolated. I personally may not have been a very loud voice on here, but I did read/lovetit the threads regularly. It provided me a lot of comfort to hear everyone's stories and share some of my own. Now that the forum is getting quiet, I'm feeling left out and wish I hadn't missed my chance to stay connected.
@willowhisper I completely understand how you are feeling, but we had to prioritize making sure that everyone felt safe enough to share very personal information like names and pictures of their families. There is no perfect system, and this is simply what the group decided on when we put out a thread on what everyone would like for a system for vetting participants for a private group (the link I shared above). When I say lovetitting a post, I mean the post wanting to join the group on this very thread. Doesn't look like any of the regular participants have deactivated accounts and I don't see that you lotvetitted any posts here to endorse participation either. It's possible that other members did not recognize your username as there was less participation in the last few months. I'm sure I speak for many when I say that I wish you nothing but a happy and healthy pregnancy.
Something perhaps to consider is having some of the early responders to this post come back and see if anyone else has commented who they would feel comfortable having join. I feel like maybe some people, myself included, may have responded after the initial wave making it more challenging to get to the magic number without as many people seeing this thread.
I hear you, but this is a group of pregnant moms. I'm one myself, a 37 year old first time mom, not a creepy stalker. Social media is always a risk and it's never 100% safe. I've shared hardships here... the pain of no community where i live, my trip to the ER with a DVT, the loss of my birth plan since becoming a high risk pregnancy overnight. I've shared ultrasound pics and my baby bump. I created a thread about book recommendations, to which I've read many of the books mentioned. I created the dream thread, where i and many others shared some of the funny vivid dreams we've been having. Please. I want to be added. This will be the last time I reach out because it hurts to feel rejected like this. I want to be part of the Facebook community because it will be so much easier for me to participate, because as I've said, this app is really difficult and frustrating to use. I don't know what you need from me to consider I'm trustworthy. No, I did not Lovetit the previous people in this post. I didn't understand that was was necessary for being added. I did however comment on the initial post checking for interest, which I thought was all that was needed to join.
Guess I have some people that didn’t like my advice or point of views then if no one is deactivated. I have lost love tits for sure, however that happened. I do have a community of a Previous BMB that are amazing so I’m not out much, but seems some may be taking their love tits back after the fact. That can and will be a big deal to others who are in need of a BMB where they can be themselves. If it happens to me, it’s happening elsewhere you can be sure of that. It’s time to re-evaluate your methods.
FYI, in the original post on how we should go about this, I shared that my previous BMB asked for some more active members to vouch for other less consistent members. This worked out perfectly. Might be a different option to consider while still an easy solution to this problem. As a side note, my FB BMB has 120 members currently down from around 150 several years ago. The numbers are down with people that have left FB, not that have been kicked out. Many in the group are FB friends with each other as well as connected on other platforms. We still feel extremely comfortable sharing very personal info, we have F2F meetups, know each other’s kids, have house swapped, and have shared in everyone’s journey as they expand their families and go through divorces, etc. Having a larger group does not mean less security. It means more women to help when you really need it.
Thanks again @boymom312 for sharing that. I think it's probably the case that many have already left this platform in favor of the FB group. Perhaps if someone did make a FB post asking how they feel about letting people in without the required lovetits maybe they would jump back in and vouch for me and the other moms being left behind. Or, if there were another method for verifying identity to be allowed to join. I came here hoping for a community that I could share my journey with from early pregnancy and onward. But if it's this closed off and unwilling to open the doors to create opportunities for everyone, then that's not a group I want to be a part of. I'm glad to hear you've had a beautiful experience with your former BMB groups. That sounds like exactly what I would want in a community. I'll use that as my guidance system for who to reach out to from here.
@willowhisper I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling left behind. I am too, it that helps. I just don't use Facebook and honestly think this whole selective move-over for privacy is kind of weird. I feel like this app is way more private than Facebook, but to each his own. Im not super active here, but I'll still be checking this community page if you want to share or discuss anything. You're not totally alone!
@willowhisper I know I'm going to come across as the bad guy - and I promise it's nothing personal... but the reason that people move to a separate group is to stay in touch with those who cultivated a community.
Personally, even if I didn't immediately recognize someone's name, I did go to their profile to see their engagement, because we're all busy and it's completely reasonable to assume that I missed engaging with someone. When I go to your profile, I can see that you replied 29 times, and 10 of those are about getting into the private group. So that leaves less than 20 genuine interactions in approximately 7 months. I can also see that the bulk of those are posts about yourself - which is valid, but it shows me you didn't really engage with very many people.
So I'll be honest - I didn't 'lovetit' your post. It's nothing against you, and I wouldn't have been concerned with you joining if there were other people who did recognize you and felt that they had started to get to know you. I still wish you well, and hope that you find a community that you connect with better (if it helps, there are often local parent groups on Facebook that may be a better fit)
@willowhisper In addition to looking into local mom groups, maybe also consider joining the subreddit r/April2022Bumpers on Reddit. There are over 2000 members and it's pretty active with daily chats and lots of other posts. You just need to message the mods to be let in. I wasn't accepted into the Facebook group either but have had some great conversations and read great advice over on that subreddit!
Re: Private group- comment here if you want in!
Is it too late to join? Maybe I misunderstood, but it sounded like I needed hearts on my post to be added and not a single person has given me a heart 🥺
Personally, even if I didn't immediately recognize someone's name, I did go to their profile to see their engagement, because we're all busy and it's completely reasonable to assume that I missed engaging with someone. When I go to your profile, I can see that you replied 29 times, and 10 of those are about getting into the private group. So that leaves less than 20 genuine interactions in approximately 7 months. I can also see that the bulk of those are posts about yourself - which is valid, but it shows me you didn't really engage with very many people.
So I'll be honest - I didn't 'lovetit' your post. It's nothing against you, and I wouldn't have been concerned with you joining if there were other people who did recognize you and felt that they had started to get to know you. I still wish you well, and hope that you find a community that you connect with better (if it helps, there are often local parent groups on Facebook that may be a better fit)