Moving to a private group

fameonmain2 · January 2022

Figured I would get this conversation restarted since we've all been talking about TB's glitchiness... I know we've already discussed this in the great big question thread and it seems from @monstera13's polls (thank you!!) that most of us want to move to FB and now-ish.

We haven't talked about how to facilitate the move though...so creating this thread to start! I know a lot of y'all have been in previous BMBs so any ideas welcome! I've lurked other recent BMBs and they have all approached it a bit differently.

SmashJam · January 2022

We had two admins and private messaged them our Facebook names on TB, I think. Then they invited us all to the group. I think they might have had to friend us first. That's all I remember!

shlecks · January 2022

I can help facilitate if need be. We had a handful of admins last time and did similar to what @SmashJam said about the PM on here for the username and maybe a description of profile picture.

The other thing my previous BMB did was try to avoid trolls so if it was someone we hadn't seen on here before we didn't let them in. I don't know how y'all would want to approach that because honestly I know a lot of people don't participate as much due to the actual glitchiness of TB, so it seems unfair to exclude them, but at the same time we don't want to put the group at risk.

fameonmain2 · January 2022

@shlecks I get what you're saying about not participating because of glitchiness... I do think some sort of minimum guidelines for participation would be a good idea, though.

shlecks · January 2022

@fameonmain2 I totally agree.

aloha_mama · January 2022

@fameonmain2 Yes, how do we determine who is a “regular” and who isn’t? There’s people that join on the weekends and I know we have lurkers that chime in only every once in a while. I wasn’t on a BMB last pregnancy so I don’t have any experience with this.

monstera13 · January 2022

I think we gave the admins our FB email addresses rather than names to help them more easily find us? Hard to remember though that long ago.

I’ve seen some recent boards have threads where if the person wants in the private group, they post saying so. And then everyone who agrees that person should come to the private group (i.e., recognizes their names and thinks they’ve participated enough) likes the post.

How many admins do we want? It probably makes sense to figure those people out soon.

kiwi2628 · January 2022

@monstera13 that’s how my first BMB did it

doula-mama · January 2022

I think we’re a small group and don’t need a bunch of admins, but kinda just whoever wants to volunteer? I don’t mind volunteering, but am also happy to leave it to others lol!

And yes - I like the idea of posting in a thread and people like it… I think if we have 4-5 ‘likes’ that’s probably enough given our small group? And then if someone doesn’t get enough, but thinks they should still be let in, they can reach out to an admin and they can look at the person’s post history and see if they have been active (just trying to acknowledge that some people have tried to be active but with the glitches, maybe weren’t enough to make the connections)

Avrilmai · January 2022

I copied and pasted how they decided to do it in my last BMB...it was easier than me trying to explain it...but I agree the first step would be to decide on Admins. probably an odd number of people so maybe 3?

if you want to join the Facebook group, follow the instructions below:
Step 1. Private message one of the 5 admins with a picture of yourself. The picture MUST contain your face, your bump, and a piece of paper. On the paper, hand write your TB name, your real FB first name, your due date, and the actual date that you send us the picture. Make sure this is all legible. Please also include your FB associated email address in your PM.
****Complete Step 1 by Specified Date.****

Step 2. Be patient. The admins will create a list of women who PM them. Early next week, we will be ready to start sending FB invites to your email inbox. Anyone who isn't a regular (does not mean you have to be a serial poster) will be discussed and called to a vote by regulars who are added to the FB group. Please don't allow this to discourage you from submitting and being put up for a vote. The admins may have not interacted with you, but maybe a handful of other women have. We promise that this does not mean to be a popularity contest. Please understand that this serves to keep us all feeling as internet safe as possible.

FishyMom · January 2022

So I think we did something similar with voting with likes. And then once the core group (people who always comment on randoms) they voted on others privately. I am not sure I’m active enough to throw my 2 cents on regulars votes… but that does become the issue with voting, people could like to get the count up.

shlecks · January 2022

@monstera13 Yep that's exactly how we did ours too.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2022

My BMB was way more active, so we buried the FB conversation deeeeep in a randoms thread so if you saw it you probably were a regular. I don't think that would work for us here lol.

doula-mama · January 2022

@Avrilmai Wow - that's intense lol! I feel like we had to answer questions when requesting to join on FB that included our bump name and a secret word that the admins sent out by PM... my only concern is sending pics on TB, because don't they own them right away? Maybe sending via FB messenger is an option? I'm happy to do whatever makes people comfortable though!

@FishyMom I feel like it's not voting exactly... it's not about whether you like someone or want them in the group, it's just a way of saying 'oh yeah, I recognize you'

Blondesweety444 · January 2022

my last bump was similar to @monstera13 . I think we sent the picture on FB messenger to someone who volunteered as tribute to give their real name and let people into the group. But we also did the lovetits to validate from a group perspective that someone was considered a "regular" (understood that is relative in this group considering how quiet we've been, but it has definitely picked up lately!!)

monstera13 · January 2022

Nominating a couple people for admins that I think have really kept our BMB running the last few months (just my two cents):

@Avrilmai
@fameonmain2
@aloha_mama

I’d be happy to volunteer if we needed more, but like someone said, we have a pretty small group and probably don’t need a ton of admins.

FishyMom · January 2022

@doula-mama sorry yes, I didn’t mean if they want them in. What I mean is I don’t feel like I am “regular” enough to determine if someone is a regular. So other irregulars could lovetit when they are not really regulars themselves… boosting the number… not user that made much more sense… but maybe closer than thinking it’s by people you like you.

doula-mama · January 2022

@monstera13 I fully second your list

@FishyMom But from the other side, if you're on the more sporadic side of participating (which I am too), and you recognize someone, that says a lot, doesn't it?

boymom312 · January 2022

From what I remember we had our admins who were regulars. The BMB that I followed to FB was really active though so there were definite standouts. I wasn’t working then and was a FTM so I had plenty of time for the BMB! Anyway, we PM’d the admin that we wanted in by a certain date. If they recognized our bump name we got in. Then as others that weren’t immediately recognized PM’d, the bump name would be shared with those that were in already. If any of them recognized the newbie’s they got in and it trickled down. I do remember a very small purge from FB in the beginning with a couple trolls that snuck in, but otherwise, it was smooth sailing.

SmashJam · January 2022

@monstera13 I also second your list! And I think that we did emails not names now that I think about it.

Once we had the group we had a rule about posting that ended after awhile-that every once in awhile we'd purge people who weren't active anymore, and if people petitioned to rejoin we voted. We definitely don't do that anymore we have been together 4 years now, people participate/disappear as life allows/requires.

FishyMom · January 2022

@doula-mama that is very true!! Maybe it wouldn’t be an issue.

I think the pic is a lot, but it would definitely show commitment, and would be a lot of work for a catfish, but also could cause a conflict of some people not comfy with that joining.

I’m up for whatever.

fameonmain2 · January 2022

I'm happy to do it with a couple of others.. thanks @monstera13 for the nomination.. I was actually going to nominate you!

aloha_mama · January 2022

@monstera13

Blondesweety444 · January 2022

@FishyMom I think that's kind of the idea is that the picture is a bit of a pain to make sure people are 1) committed to joining and 2) not catfishing. But also if someone doesn't feel comfortable with that level of detail, I would assume they aren't comfortable with giving their real name and joining via FB. Just my thoughts though!

littlestbear03 · January 2022

No real input since it’s been 10 yrs since my BMB moved to Facebook. But that group is truly amazing and still we keep in touch and have posts updating on our kiddos and life struggles. I’ve never been able to post much on the bump, wether due to the app issues, signing me out and I don’t bother to sign back in just to post an agreement on a comment, etc.

Blondesweety444 · January 2022

So what’s next step here? Do we have 2-3 people to accept mod nominations? And then they start messaging people privately to get FB emails and receive pictures? Obviously I’m antsy to get off this janky platform. It hurts my soul to try and use this app 😂

robbenson · January 2022

@Blondesweety444 yeah probably. Get the mods and they can iron out how they want to contact or be contacted

monstera13 · January 2022

@Blondesweety444 It looks like we have two so far that said yes. I guess next step is to figure out if we want to have them decide or do the love tit voting manner of deciding. I’m good with either! But I’m also antsy to get off this glitchy platform lol.

aloha_mama · January 2022

I like the lovetit voting because it takes the pressure off me lol

rbflei · January 2022

I'm game. Everything else has been addressed. Just let me know what I need to do and when.

monstera13 · January 2022

I went ahead and started the thread for people to comment if they want in!

Avrilmai · January 2022

Thanks @monstera13 happy to do it along w/ @fameonmain2 and @aloha_mama

fameonmain2 · January 2022

Thank you @monstera13! I was sound asleep when you created that 😂

@Avrilmai & @aloha_mama, YGPM

Moving to a private group

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