I blame The Bump, but somehow the internet found out I am pregnant - today! I got emails from Emfamile and Facebook is full of adds! Ok, just saw an add for the Mockingbird Stroller - it looks pretty cool! Any thoughts?
Also - tip for FTMs and anyone, please sign up for formula discounts! I know the idea might be abhorrent to you right now. I had every intention of exclusively breast feeding. But, there were big issues and we ended up almost exclusively formula feeding. Formula is expensive AF! All of my BMB friends sent me their coupons and it helped so much! You don’t know if you are going to need it or someone else. But someone (probably me again and others) will need to use formula and the more coupons the better! If you don’t end up using them, please save them for someone else. ❤️
My son is super healthy and smart as can be by the way. I’m hoping to be able to breastfeed this time around, but am much more prepared that it will likely be a combination of formula and breast milk. I had very low supply last time.
@magnolia209 Yeah, I’ve been getting lots of emails and Facebook ads too. The internet definitely knows.
I’ve been looking at the mockingbird stroller as well. It looks like a good moderately priced option and I’ve seen lots of good reviews for it. I just wish I could see one in person before buying. I think it has a decent return policy though.
@beccaneu My last pregnancy was long enough ago that we were able to go to Babies R Us (in its final days) and try things out. What are the options now? Buy Buy Baby? Do they have strollers out? I’m also going to look at second hand stores to get ideas (but will probably buy new since we need an infant seat and stroller). But, last time we didn’t know what we needed and got a great deal on a Chicco travel system stroller/car seat. We hated that thing so so so much and are determined to get the best quality this time. I’d love to see how the mockingbird feels compared to the Uppa baby. Can I be that weird person at preschool who looks at all of the rich people’s strollers? 🤣
Yeah I think Buy Buy Baby is the only big chain store still around. They normally have a big stroller section where you can test drive, but they don’t carry the mockingbird stroller. Mockingbird has a direct to consumer business model which is part of why they are able to offer a lower cost, but it looks like they are in some target stores. There’s a store locator on the mockingbird site so you can check if there is one near you. The Uppababy is so nice but I don’t think I can justify the price since my son will be 3 and probably mostly done with strollers by the time this baby arrives.
We had the City Mini GT travel system with my first and loved it! I still have that and will probably use it for this baby. Doubt I'm going to invest in a double stroller. DD is already 4 years old and we only use it on rare occasions. She'll be almost 5 when this baby gets here, so I feel like if we are in a situation where we need one, we will just use her extra umbrella stroller.
@magnolia209 we should get a list once the time comes of who wants which coupons. With both of my other kids my friend had a baby a couple months before me and formula fed. She got her tubes tied last one so I won't have her to give them to. She used to get pissed because I always got $15 coupons and she only got the $5 ones.
Speaking of low supply though, my friend was set up for failure from day 1 when she had her baby this summer, any chance the hospital did that to you? They had her supplementing on day 1 saying she was too dehydrated to bf. They told her on day 3 that her supply wasn't good enough (when it can take 5 days to come in). By week 2 they told her she would never make more than she currently is and she should just switch to formula and save herself the headache of pumping barely half enough for her son.
I think you can also try strollers at some department stores, like I remember my friend recently checking out the Uppababy at like Bloomingdale's or something like that. DH and I went to Buy Buy Baby when we were pregnant with our first.
We will definitely do a registry this time around because I like to just have everything all in one place, like a checklist, even just for ourselves, even if we weren't going to share it. But I think undoubtedly some people will ask us for ideas for a gift and it's easier to just direct them there. I know I always buy my friends a baby gift, even for second or subsequent babies, so I'm sure they will probably reciprocate. The only reason I feel like our family might do a sprinkle is because we didn't get to have a baby shower the first time around because it was deep in the middle of covid. I'm currently in the midst of planning my daughter's 1st birthday party, so honestly, that's enough celebrating for me haha. I'm already stressed though at telling family they have to have a negative covid test to come to her birthday party. My poor covid baby.
Just chiming in on the breastfeeding train: Some of us just can’t. I went to lactation consultants, I pumped around the clock, drank special tea, made special lactation cookies, and I had a very low supply. There’s an episode of Adam Ruins Everything about breastfeeding vs formula feeding and it really helps give the facts in an entertaining way. (I’ll find the video and post the link.) So don’t beat yourself up if you can’t or don’t want to. ❤️ I’m definitely going to try again, though!
Edited to fix words.
TTC History
Me: 38 DH: 52
Started trying June 2018
BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
TTC October 2021
BFP January 2022
MMC March 2022
Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing
I love Adam ruins everything! It's a bummer it's no longer on the air though.
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
To add even more to the breastfeeding/formula discussion, I forgave myself very early on after many tears that formula was okay. I breastfed for two years, but was also supplementing with formula when I couldn't mentally do it or when I didn't have enough freezer stash. We exclusively breastfed at 95% from the very beginning (once she was down to one feed a day, she'd get a formula bottle ~2x/week), and I never beat myself up over any time she needed formula.
I hope no one here goes through the stress of questioning how your baby is fed. Because honestly, FED is BEST, and if you disagree, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
@elle-0409 Oof sounds like we were in similar situations. We’ll compare notes at some point. I’m planning to ask my OB to refer me to the LCs as soon as possible. I want to meet with them early on to talk through everything that happened and make a plan for this time. I had many contributing factors. Some that could be improved with proper planning I think. But I was still told to expect that I would not be able to EBF in any future pregnancies. I’m okay with this. I just want to control what I can control, definitely try again, and make it much less stressful!
@jhysmath No - I was at a very pro breastfeeding hospital- they told me everything was fine. It really wasn’t. The LC’s made an emergency home visit (which they don’t do) and saw that my son had lost a dangerous amount of weight (down 14% on day 4) and then got us to an amazing pediatrician on day 5. We narrowly avoided the hospital. My milk really hadn’t come in. I started pumping only on day 4 and at most produced about 1/8 of what my son needed.
Great idea to make a coupon sharing spreadsheet towards the end!
ETA: @trapperkeeper87 Yes, many many tears were shed. Those were really hard times. Fed is absolutely best.
Adding to the BF convo. I'll be honest, BF was just not for me. My heart wasn't in it, and I work full-time, outside of the home, so I knew it was just gonna kill me if I wasn't 100% committed. My extremely healthy 4 year old was exclusively formula fed and has never had to go to the doctor outside of her wellness appointments. She's extremely smart and we have the closest bond ever. Like @trapperkeeper87 said, Fed is best. If you can't BF, or don't want to, do not let other people make you feel like less of a mom.
Brief change of topic from BF. My sweet momma is gifting me $50 in pregnancy related books. I already have the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. Any books y’all found helpful the first time around and would recommend?
I will once again recommend Emily oster expecting better
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
ETA: Oh! And Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. That was a lifesaver in those early months where nothing else seemed to work to calm our daughter.
Ok. Here’s a question for STM. I have a 22 month year old and I think I want to tackle potty training before next LO. What are your thoughts? Any experiences to share?
Which registries have the best perks? We did amazon and target last time, not planning on having a sprinkle or anything, but willing to have registries for freebies haha.
@chelsraec - my experience with potty training has been that if you're LO is ready it will work, and if they aren't it won't. We havent experienced this yet - but I have a friend who's recently potty trained toddler relapsed a little when baby came along (NOT saying that you will have the same experience). My daughter is a little older than your LO and is so close to being potty trained that we're just going to keep going and see what happens
@Fluffy1187. I haven’t check out what the deal is now but I think Amazon had the best perks when my son was born. On top of the normal completion discount which buy buy baby and target also offer, if you spent a certain amount of money (I don’t think it was much) you qualified for a discount on diapers for a year which was pretty great. The free baby box that I got from them also had the most freebies and coupons. That said I’d kinda just go ahead and register at Buy Buy Baby and Target as well, I ended up splitting up my purchases between all three based on what each store had in stock.
Side note, most buy buy baby’s will also accept bed, bath and beyond coupons, so if you have a stack of those sitting around they could come in handy too.
P. S. I forgot to mention, I think some of the perks with the Amazon registry are only for prime subscribers, so you might want to double check if you don’t have prime.
@chelsraec My advice is the same as @Fluffy1187 When your LO is ready, they'll potty train. If you force it before then, it's not going to work. My daughter was almost 3.5 before she was fully potty trained. She just didn't have the interest.
@laj0217 I listened to the books I "read" aside from Ina May's guide to child birth. I really liked her book as there were many "stories" to read and not just dry facts.
Ina May's guide to breastfeeding taught me a lot, so when I met with my LC before birth I knew most of what she told me already.
The sh!t no one tells you and oh shit you have a toddler series just makes me laugh. But they have some good things in it too.
I liked expecting better that has been recommended above.
The Dr sears baby book was awful dry and boring. Basically a medical book that you can look up things in. As audio or was terrible, no idea why anyone would do that.
Bringing up bebe was really good to see the differences between USA and France in terms of pregnancy, delivery, and the first year.
Orgasmic birth, I don't remember much about so I can't say it was good. I finished it so it couldn't have been terrible.
Dude you're going to be a dad was comical, I made my husband listen to it with me.
@chlesraec currently working on potty training my 19 month old. She does great with us at home, but has accidents at daycare. She's pretty much trained herself because we're being very lazy with it because she's so young and doesn't really communicate well I didn't think it was possible, but she tells us "poop" any time she wants to use the bathroom and she goes pee or poop each time.
With our first I was going to train the summer after we have baby she would have just turned 2 and would have been ready but with a new baby I just couldn't. We had her poop trained before her sister was born but then I wasn't dealing with it. We trained her at 2.5 in one weekend, my husband was gone and I used the "oh crap" method which worked really well. I highly recommend her book to everyone. It's an easy listen in the car and makes a lot of sense.
If I were you I'd focus on training in the summer time if you have the area to have a naked kid outside for a day or two.
@chelsraec My son is 3 years and 3 months. He is not potty trained yet. We haven’t even started. But, I think we are about ready!
I had a lot of friends have their babies when their first was 2.5. So they were determined to potty train them around 2. It was a long and challenging process.
Our preschool doesn’t require it. They say my son is doing great. He wears pull ups and goes to sit on the potty. He changes himself. He’s just not actually going in the potty. He’s going in the pull up.
But, he seems ready. We might actually start this weekend. No promises though! I am in no rush!
@jhysmath oh my that is so sad for your friend! Unfortunately
a lot of hospitals are sponsored by formula brands and/or get funding for
giving formula, etc. There is also not a lot of incentive for healthcare practitioners
to include breastfeeding in their ongoing training – it’s something they have
to do off their own back so lots don’t do it.
@elle-0409 some people certainly can’t, be it an issue with
insufficient glandular tissue or with baby’s ability to latch. It might comfort
you to know that every time you get pregnant your breasts increase the tissue that
makes milk so you are more likely to have an adequate milk supply with
increasing pregnancies/births. Also, some ingredients in teas and cookies that
work wonders for some mums are extremely detrimental to other mums when it
comes to supply – fenugreek is the main culprit but there are others. The only
true way to increase supply is to increase milk removed.
For those wanting to see lactation consultants, make sure
you see someone that labels themselves an IBCLC – it stands for international
board certified lactation consultant. It is universal across the world and to be
able to use those letters they have to meet certain criteria, including 1000
hours of face to face lactation advice, sitting an exam every year to ensure
they are still on top of their lactation knowledge, certain number of PD hours
to keep them up to date, etc. It’s really very rigorous. If you see someone who
is just a lactation consultant (LC) or lactation nurse (LCN) they do not have
formal qualifications and are typically someone who has a special interest in
breastfeeding and have done their own study or some kind of formal study that
does not come with the board certification. Short story – IBCLC is where it’s
at.
Also, here is a little infographic of the size of your baby's tummy at different stages that's handy to keep in mind
Please know that I am coming at this from a place of love, but also a place of evidence. The chart above is outdated.
“Evidence challenge for all of you that have ever told another person how "the size of a newborn stomach is the size of a marble/cherry on day one"
This claim was published in a book for care of premature babies, and the year when this book was published is 1961. There is no study behind this claim. There is no systematic review of evidence. There is no other primary source that confirms this claim.
A book.
About premature babies.
Published in 1961.
You've seen it repeated a million times. You can find hundreds of thousands of breastfeeding papers referencing this one single source to back it up. The damn tummy size lanyards are everywhere too.
A book.
About premature babies.
Published in 1961.
No other evidence ever to back it up.
Since "this is an evidence based group", one of the things we try and foster is your critical thinking skills, so consider this a group exercise in critical thinking/evaluating evidence. Take this challenge. Look it up. I am making a claim that however hard you try to check the claim about newborn stomach size you will arrive back to this reference:
Silverman, WA, ed. Dunham's Premature Infants, 3rd edition. New York: Hoeber, Inc., Medical Division of Harper and Brothers, 1961, p. 143–144.
Two pages from a book about premature babies published in 1961 is not evidence.”
Take it or leave it. It’s your call. ❤️
TTC History
Me: 38 DH: 52
Started trying June 2018
BFP Jan 2019 DD born October 2019
TTC July 2021 BFP, ended in MMC August 2021
TTC October 2021
BFP January 2022
MMC March 2022
Beginning May 2022 under the supervision of an RE - Benched while undergoing testing
@elle-0409 I am pro evidence. Thank you for the information!
Current pregnancy - First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
Four prior losses, no living children - 1 first trimester miscarriage, 1 blighted ovum, 1 chemical, and one extreme premature live birth daughter who died at 15 days old.
I mean, the truck at age 6 seems accurate AF. My 8 year old doesn't stop eating. And where the hell does my teenager put all that food?! My grocery bill certainly reflects the increase in stomach size. (completely joking, I appreciate the factual information on an outdated study)
My first doc appoint is 2/23 when I'll be 8.5 weeks. I asked the nurse who scheduled me if I should bring my husband and she said (I think) "no, we won't do an ultrasound at this one because ours can't pick up anything that small. You'll just be getting bloodwork and maybe a pap smear." Does this sound right? Should I advocate for an US ? Or, find a better place? I love my gyne so would hate to leave her. Is this a red flag? I'm mostly nervous that I'm going to show up and they'll be like, yeah we should do one (I'm 40) and then my husband won't be there.
@channas20 they might only have an abdominal machine which wouldn’t be as reliable for details that early on. However, it would still function and give some information. Did they note when they would do the first ultrasound if not at this 8.5 week appointment? Would they be open to doing it if you specifically requested?
@channas20 In addition to what @mokay19 said, bringing your husband would still be beneficial. You'll get a lot of good information at that first appointment, and having him there can help put you at ease. That way, if they can do an ultrasound, he's already there. He may also have questions for the doctor that you haven't thought of (or that don't pertain to you).
@channas20 I would probably call back and confirm again. Also, I know it's different everywhere, but my husband isn't allowed back unless I'm having an ultrasound and he can only go in there then leave right back out to the waiting room. He's not allowed to come into the exam room and ask questions with me. What sense that makes since he's already back there...I don't know, but rules are rules.
@mokay19 I think she told me when they would do one, but I don't remember. This has all been such a blur! I don't know how open they'd be to doing it if I asked. They are part of a big hospital, so although I love my doc, it's not a warm fuzzy kind of place.
@channas20 my OB is at a hospital, too, and I’m still able to go in for a 6 week ultrasound per my request because of my loss/infertility history. I think they’d have the ability, they just might not want to because it’s outside their “normal.” It’s up to you if you want to reach back out and ask again/double check!
Re: Ask a STM+ thread
Speaking of low supply though, my friend was set up for failure from day 1 when she had her baby this summer, any chance the hospital did that to you? They had her supplementing on day 1 saying she was too dehydrated to bf. They told her on day 3 that her supply wasn't good enough (when it can take 5 days to come in). By week 2 they told her she would never make more than she currently is and she should just switch to formula and save herself the headache of pumping barely half enough for her son.
We will definitely do a registry this time around because I like to just have everything all in one place, like a checklist, even just for ourselves, even if we weren't going to share it. But I think undoubtedly some people will ask us for ideas for a gift and it's easier to just direct them there. I know I always buy my friends a baby gift, even for second or subsequent babies, so I'm sure they will probably reciprocate. The only reason I feel like our family might do a sprinkle is because we didn't get to have a baby shower the first time around because it was deep in the middle of covid. I'm currently in the midst of planning my daughter's 1st birthday party, so honestly, that's enough celebrating for me haha. I'm already stressed though at telling family they have to have a negative covid test to come to her birthday party. My poor covid baby.
Edited to fix words.
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
I hope no one here goes through the stress of questioning how your baby is fed. Because honestly, FED is BEST, and if you disagree, you need to reevaluate your priorities.
Like @trapperkeeper87 said, Fed is best. If you can't BF, or don't want to, do not let other people make you feel like less of a mom.
Pregnancy Day By Day: An Illustrated Daily Countdown to Motherhood, from Conception to Childbirth and: DK, Blott, Maggie: 9781465468376: Amazon.com: Books
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
We're Pregnant! The First Time Dad's Pregnancy Handbook https://smile.amazon.com/dp/1939754682/
ETA: Oh! And Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. That was a lifesaver in those early months where nothing else seemed to work to calm our daughter.
@chelsraec - my experience with potty training has been that if you're LO is ready it will work, and if they aren't it won't. We havent experienced this yet - but I have a friend who's recently potty trained toddler relapsed a little when baby came along (NOT saying that you will have the same experience). My daughter is a little older than your LO and is so close to being potty trained that we're just going to keep going and see what happens
Ina May's guide to breastfeeding taught me a lot, so when I met with my LC before birth I knew most of what she told me already.
The sh!t no one tells you and oh shit you have a toddler series just makes me laugh. But they have some good things in it too.
I liked expecting better that has been recommended above.
The Dr sears baby book was awful dry and boring. Basically a medical book that you can look up things in. As audio or was terrible, no idea why anyone would do that.
Bringing up bebe was really good to see the differences between USA and France in terms of pregnancy, delivery, and the first year.
Orgasmic birth, I don't remember much about so I can't say it was good. I finished it so it couldn't have been terrible.
Dude you're going to be a dad was comical, I made my husband listen to it with me.
With our first I was going to train the summer after we have baby she would have just turned 2 and would have been ready but with a new baby I just couldn't. We had her poop trained before her sister was born but then I wasn't dealing with it. We trained her at 2.5 in one weekend, my husband was gone and I used the "oh crap" method which worked really well. I highly recommend her book to everyone. It's an easy listen in the car and makes a lot of sense.
If I were you I'd focus on training in the summer time if you have the area to have a naked kid outside for a day or two.
@jhysmath oh my that is so sad for your friend! Unfortunately a lot of hospitals are sponsored by formula brands and/or get funding for giving formula, etc. There is also not a lot of incentive for healthcare practitioners to include breastfeeding in their ongoing training – it’s something they have to do off their own back so lots don’t do it.
@elle-0409 some people certainly can’t, be it an issue with insufficient glandular tissue or with baby’s ability to latch. It might comfort you to know that every time you get pregnant your breasts increase the tissue that makes milk so you are more likely to have an adequate milk supply with increasing pregnancies/births. Also, some ingredients in teas and cookies that work wonders for some mums are extremely detrimental to other mums when it comes to supply – fenugreek is the main culprit but there are others. The only true way to increase supply is to increase milk removed.
For those wanting to see lactation consultants, make sure you see someone that labels themselves an IBCLC – it stands for international board certified lactation consultant. It is universal across the world and to be able to use those letters they have to meet certain criteria, including 1000 hours of face to face lactation advice, sitting an exam every year to ensure they are still on top of their lactation knowledge, certain number of PD hours to keep them up to date, etc. It’s really very rigorous. If you see someone who is just a lactation consultant (LC) or lactation nurse (LCN) they do not have formal qualifications and are typically someone who has a special interest in breastfeeding and have done their own study or some kind of formal study that does not come with the board certification. Short story – IBCLC is where it’s at.
Also, here is a little infographic of the size of your baby's tummy at different stages that's handy to keep in mind
First BFP on 1/4/22. Due date 9/13/22.
(completely joking, I appreciate the factual information on an outdated study)