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August 2022 Moms
betsummerswilliams
member
TW_______________________________Loss, Calling It
betsummerswilliams
member
Cramping worsened at midnight and then there was a huge plop of blood in the toilet, followed by another ~20 mins later, and then sizable clots in another ~20 mins. Cramps come and go, a tad worse than bad period cramps, but nothing concerning beyond plain ‘ol MC. Put a heating pad on and took a Tylenol and the pain is better. No temp, no vomiting. It’s 3:15am and I’m just gonna call this a loss. Not trying to call my on-call OB a third time in one day. As he confirmed when I spoke with him at length at 7pm - no intervention would save a pregnancy at 9w6d so, I’m just coping with the cycling pain and trying to relax. Keep reminding myself I didn’t do anything wrong.
This is the longest I have ever had the privilege of being pregnant. I’m glad I celebrated every day, one day at a time. I don’t regret telling everyone, or buying a bassinet, because if it’s the longest I will ever be able to celebrate a pregnancy, I know I made the most of it.
I didn’t want to focus on past loss details before, but now for context - our last miscarriage was in 2016 and happened before I knew I was pregnant. Again in 2013 when I was still on the pill, which is what made me realize how much I wanted to be pregnant and I stopped all BC that year. Been trying ever since. Started IF after the 2016 loss a d years of infertility treatments never worked, so we decided to take the year off from them in 2021 and try naturally for the year. I was so hopeful that a no-assistance needed pregnancy would be the ticket. There’s some solace in knowing that I can actually get pregnant, without IF treatment, and carry for at least this long. My FI’s grandmother gave birth to his father at age 46, in 1965, so there’s hope yet.
Words can’t explain how grateful I am that I was able to participate in a community with other pregnant women, while I could.
I’ll always cherish that.
Thank you, for reading this, and my myriad other novels. I was too triggered & inexperienced to provide much support this BMB, sorry for that. Maybe I can do better with being the reassuring voice of experience, as you all were, if I get the privilege of joining a future BMB. Healthy wishes to you!!!
Re: TW_______________________________Loss, Calling It
I’ll have to look up those titles, thanks for the recommendations.
You did nothing wrong. There was nothing you could do to change the outcome.
Please take care of yourself and don’t feel bad about it calling the on call Dr or going to the ER. The pain may get a bit worse before it’s better.
Thinking of you.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
If you’re looking for any other books, I highly recommend Not Broken, it really helped me cope after RPL.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@and_peggy I appreciated the warning about it getting worse before it got better, because it sure did right as I was reading your message. Felt like I had a trail guide for the climb ahead. Got a sneak peek at what contractions might feel like. Woof. May you have smooth sailing soon, and then clear skies through til healthy birth.
@coco2787 thank you, I'll check out that title.
@mdfarmchick thank you for the lead
I think we're going to focus on getting a bigger place and applying for foster to adopt, while we keep trying. Plenty of babes out there who need a loving home. We're on a few waiting lists for places we like already, but really hoping for the one down the hall from us opens up soon.
*hugs*
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19