Who have you told?

buffythevampireslayer · January 2022

In my last job I told everyone right when I hit second tri. In this job I will do the same but I’m pretty nervous because I just got a new job in June so I’ll be going out on leave after only having been there a little over a year.

darkrose88 · January 2022

@buffythevampireslayer you're literally describing my situation. I started the second weekend of July 2021 so I'll have only been at my new company for a little over a year. I'm nervous about telling my boss this time around because I'm worried for being judged for needing leave only after a year. But I'll be honest, after what we went through to even get to a point where we could have a second baby, we didn't want to delay trying any longer.

buffythevampireslayer · January 2022

@darkrose88 I’m with you. We can do it together! I just keep reminding myself that having a baby as a woman in my 30s is normal and good for the world even though workplaces aren’t exactly accommodating. I will be 13 weeks on 2/10 so I think I’m going to tell my boss the week after that, which gives them basically 6 months until the baby is due. That’s a long time to plan/prepare.

coco2787 · January 2022

@buffythevampireslayer @darkrose88 I just started my job in June too. Some of my clients have joked about me having a baby (before I was pregnant) because 3 people (out of 5) had gone on maternity leave in the year prior to my hiring. So definitely gonna feel extra awkward telling people.

Also, does anyone hate saying “I’m pregnant”? Or am I just the most awkward person ever? I’ve almost always had people find out via text or social media because I hate the face to face announcing so much.

paytonpedro · January 2022

@coco2787 ugh I also hate saying “I’m pregnant”. Luckily for me, my children very much enjoy telling people so I just have to say “surprise”. Lol

wisewitch222 · January 2022

Yeah, I hate talking about it. As soon as the baby comes out I love the big social media announcement, but I feel like before there is a born baby the conversion is more about my body and I don't like that. I don't ever "announce." I just tell people when it comes up and that's that. Luckily this time around my three year old has this way of announcing that's just, "Mom has a baby!" Full stop. No tummy, just baby. I like that.

wigglyicecream · January 2022

I finally told the few women that I’m still in contact with from my previous bmb. They are all super supportive and know what I’ve been through so it was nice to let the secret out. Still waiting on telling people local to me

darkrose88 · January 2022

@buffythevampireslayer @coco2787 I'm so glad I'm not alone in this awkwardness of telling a new job I'll be out. I'm also going to do it around at the 13 week mark to give them plenty of time to prepare. I'm sort of lucky because unless our current contract is extended, the job I'm on ends in July and I'm going to be moved to a new project. Considering I'm due August 6th, I'll most likely get to wrap up my current project which will be nice.

wine_mama_03 · January 2022

@emilim821 also an engineer, but work in more of a lab environment with chemicals, so I did let my boss know pretty early (~9w) and contacted our nurse to start on the safety approvals. I also figured with having up to 12 week off, that's a long time to plan for, so I wanted to give enough heads up since we were setting goals and timelines for the year.

lindzer20 · January 2022

My husband and I told my mom on Christmas Day (wrapped a letterboard in Christmas paper, "Santa's not the only one coming to town! Baby due Aug 2022!) She absolutely loved it. Told her because I can't keep anything from her and I knew she'd think it was odd if I turned down a glass of vino! Other than her, I've only told medical professionals and my trainer for awareness. Waiting to tell my family, friends & my husband's until we're closer to the 2nd trimester, first baby for us & I'm just nervous to share too early. Dying to tell my sister, she's a little younger with one kiddo and it's so hard keeping this from her!

darkrose88 · January 2022

We told DH's side on Sunday. DH's grandma's reaction - "I was wondering... you're looking like you've gained some weight." 😳 whelp, officially at the awkward is she pregnant or letting herself go stage. 🥴 DH's sister was flabbergasted and told off her grandma lol. I wasn't offended though. Not the first time and won't be the last time people think it is okay to comment on weight when they find out your pregnant.

bridgiebee82 · January 2022

@darkrose88 and old people have no filter.

darkrose88 · January 2022

@bridgiebee82 100%. She is a nice lady, and was very excited about the pregnancy. She just has no filter lol.

and_peggy · January 2022

Told my mom. She was very surprised but also commented that I was looking a little puffy 🙄

I sent a text to my sister. I think it went okay. I know she’s heartbroken about her situation and I tried to be sensitive as possible. But she seemed genuinely happy for me. Glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore.

wisewitch222 · January 2022

Told my boss today! (One of them - I teach in two departments - but this was the main one.) It went really well and feels like a huge weight lifted.

itsme215 · January 2022

@wisewitch222 I’m waiting to tell my business partner/boss right now if he ever gets off the dang phone….. I expect it to go pretty well but he’s going to be totally shocked so I expect some freaking out too

itsme215 · January 2022

Update: it went SO well! Better than I was expecting. He’s so excited and happy for us.

meagan822 · January 2022

@bridgiebee82 I love that you already shared it with Everyone out of excitement! I’m sure that makes it easier when it comes to explaining symptoms and stuff as well! Plus double the babies, double the excitement to talk about!😍

geshem · January 2022

@wisewitch222 thanks for mentioning that. I've just started teaching this year and have been wondering when to tell. I was thinking of telling soon I just haven't been there in person in over a week so I figured I might do it when I go back on Monday. But considering they're making the fall schedules now is a good point, they have started talking about the fall. I'm not sure how much of the semester I'll need to miss though.

I don't have an issue saying I'm pregnant but I am really weirded out by telling people my due date like it's really not anytime else's business when my LMP was or worse when we DTD!

So far we've told my sister whom I'm very close with, my parents, DH's parents and one of his sisters. We'll tell our other siblings this weekend. My parents were excited and happy for us, but also said something along the lines of you've been pretty stressed with just 2 kids, are you sure you are ready for 3? My FIL was ecstatic, he loves our kids, seems to think we've hung the moon and has been asking us to have more kids lol, my MIL on the other hand pretty much reacted with "I have too many grandchildren, and anyway you shouldn't have more kids because you're disorganized." So that's been an interesting spread of reactions... My sister at least was excited, loving and supportive, and DH's sister was excited too (and get 6 kids are excited for a new cousin).

ashamarie2 · January 2022

I’ve slowly been telling more and more people since our 9 week appointment with the Midwife and she told us our risk had dropped significantly based on the appointment and the heartbeat. We found out at 4 weeks and I immediately told my partner, my mom and my best friend. Progressively I’ve told more and more and as of 10 weeks I’m not really hiding it anymore. My job knows because I’m trying to hire a replacement so I can leave ASAP and my trainee will have to have 3-4 months of training 🤣 I’m remaining cautiously optimistic and will probably go with a public Valentines Day announcement which is nearing the end of W13. Remaining cautiously optimistic until we slap the babies bottom in the real world 🤪

wisewitch222 · January 2022

@geshem I'm thinking about your question on the maternity leave thread and I really don't know what kind of advice to offer you. I teach at a college so there are no subs and the only length of leave time is a semester. Full time professors get one semester of leave paid (so it sucks if your baby is born in November!) and that's only a recent policy, maybe ten years old. I'm part time so I don't get paid leave, but I have been working there for four years and have a good relationship with my department so I felt pretty confident about my leave from teaching not really being a problem.

With high school, though, there are subs, but only being at your job for a short time would make me nervous to have the conversation too. I know it's illegal to not hire a pregnant person because they're pregnant so on that level you shouldn't have to wait for the contract signing in June, but I don't have a whole lot of confidence in that because no one would ever say that's the reason. The one thing I can think of is with the covid, I'm guessing administrations need to hang on to their teachers and perhaps you don't need to worry about job security, and maybe the best thing to do is tell them now that you really want to develop that new class, but you will need to be on leave until November (I'm assuming 12 weeks from birth which is what teachers usually take) or whatever. I know people who have to plan appreciate knowing things early, even if it feels scary.

Mostly you just have my moral support!!

wine_mama_03 · January 2022

After seeing the baby in the 12w ultrasound today, and all was good, decided that we couldn't hold it in any longer. Had some help from Cora.

mdfarmchick · January 2022

We just told both of our parents after having a good appointment today at 8 weeks and I plan on making a social media announcement around Valentine’s Day because I’ll be around 12 weeks. It’s after my next appointment so if all is well, I’ll probably post after that.

ashamarie2 · January 2022

@fromfurmomtobabymom8-2 omg how adorable is that!! We were considering doing an announcement with our fur babies but we have two cats and they are a handful. Haha puppers are the best siblings 🥰

maggiemadeit · January 2022

My big kid (6) came home from school today and informed me that she told her entire Kindergarten class, her two teachers, and the school librarian 😂

mdfarmchick · January 2022

@maggiemadeit that’s adorable. My six year old insisted he could keep a secret but his teacher needed to know. I’m not sure if he told her or if he forgot today

Also, told my SIL. She was a real jerk. She hasn’t met my one year old yet—and blames me but she made her own choices to have different priorities. And I almost don’t think she’s going to meet the one year old before August anyway…

paytonpedro · January 2022

@maggiemadeit when I went to pick my kindergartener up from school one day, the aid at the door congratulated me. It was then I figured out he had told the entire school. 🤣

brittanynmorris · January 2022

@paytonpedro @maggiemadeit As a kindergarten teacher, I can confirm that this happens with any important news daily!

bridgiebee82 · January 2022

@mdfarmchick ugh I'm sorry about your SIL being a jerk. That must be tough, especially since this is an exciting time and you already have a one year old. Some support from family members would be nice. I'm excited for you, though!

@maggiemadeit @paytonpedro @brittanynmorris I can also confirm as a 7th grade teacher, the older kids are the same way. They just talk and talk and tell us everything.

brittanynmorris · January 2022

Ugh, we were supposed to tell our parents this weekend. This is the first grand baby on both sides, so it’s so exciting. I really wanted to tell my parents first so we were having them over for dinner tonight but they call and cancelled due to feeling sick (unsure if COVID or not) but I’m just so bummed. I’m so thankful they want to keep their germs to themselves and they’re considerate, but it still sucks.

We’re telling my husbands parents tomorrow and we’ll wait another week to see my parents over the weekend. Hopefully they can keep their mouths zipped until then. Lol.

bridgiebee82 · January 2022

@brittanynmorris oh what a bummer! I hope your husband's family can keep the secret for a week! How exciting for first grand baby on both sides!!

brittanynmorris · January 2022

@bridgiebee82 Oh yes, totally exciting. I’m the only child and my husband is the first of two. We just got married this summer after dating for 10 years so lots of exciting things are happening! They never pushed parenthood on us, but they do mention every now and then that they are jealous of their friends becoming grandparents! But little do they know it’s about to be their turn. It’ll be the first great grandchild for my MIL’s mom and I can just see the weeping now! It’ll be a good time.

bridgiebee82 · January 2022

@brittanynmorris ahhhh!!!! So exciting! Let us know how it goes!

brittanynmorris · January 2022

@bridgiebee82 gladly!

and_peggy · January 2022

@brittanynmorris I’m sorry you have to wait a little longer. That’s disappointing. But it will still be special whenever you get to share. How are you telling them?

brittanynmorris · January 2022

@and_peggy thanks for the sympathy! I’m just so dramatic I think!! 😂 Well, my husband and father in law completely remodeled the home before our wedding. The back bedroom (which we wanted to be the nursery eventually) has been a catch-all room. From wedding things that need to be sold, to tools, to a gigantic donation pile, to summer clothes storage, it has everything in it. Well we have finally cleaned it out and organized it. We just have a shelf in there with some board books and a sonogram framed sitting on the top. Then, next to the frame we have a letter board saying Baby Due August 2022. So we’ll lure them back there with saying we finally cleaned it and boom! They love seeing updates we have made to the house, so it won’t seem odd at all. I’m sure they’ll love this update most of all!

mdfarmchick · January 2022

@brittanynmorris that is so freaking adorable. Can you come do that at my house?! I can’t wait to hear their reactions. I remember how excited I was surprise both of our parents 7 years ago when we were pregnant with our first but I definitely think your idea is way cooler.

brittanynmorris · January 2022

@mdfarmchick You are so kind! I love organizing and purging, so sign me up! My dream job would be to work for The Home Edit if you have seen that show on Netflix! My husband and I are pretty low key people, so we didn’t want anything super over the top! I’ve been excited but I know keeping their mouths closed until the middle of February, when we plan to announce publicly, will be difficult for them! 😂

mdfarmchick · January 2022

@brittanynmorris it is on my list. I really liked their Marie Kondo special a few years ago and keep hoping that would make it as a regular series. So I should watch?? Maybe I’ll binge today.

and_peggy · January 2022

@brittanynmorris I love that. So subtle but a sweet surprise! Can’t wait to hear their reaction.

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