How to handle social events?

Re: How to handle social events?

• nwshay member

  January 2022

  @knottiec0cc542edcd42f10 I would either bail last minute, tell them, or try to order a soda water with lime without them hearing (go to the bar, get there early, etc) or order a drink and just nurse it and if they bring it up just say you have a headache and don't feel like drinking. Say you're doing dry January... Say you're trying to get pregnant and want to lay off for a bit. Plenty of excuses! My family has a winery so I know it can be tricky when you're on the spot! Good luck!

  Report2 Reply
• Loading the player...
• meagan822 member

  January 2022

  @knottiec0cc542edcd42f10 Hi!! First of all, congratulations! I will be 5 weeks 5 days tomorrow! We found out on Christmas! 

  
  

  I lucked out a bit in my social calendar slowing down this week through when we plan to announce. With that said, I have given this lots of thought. YouTube provided me a few ideas, so maybe you could find some more on there. I’ll try to provide some as well. One thing I think will make a difference is having a different approach or type of reason every time. Here are some of those ideas.
  
  WHEN OUT WITH THEM:
  As previously commented, getting there 15 minutes early can help you get ahead of the game. Get a server and tell them you can’t drink alcohol, but you don’t want your friends to know. Have them bring you mocktails or get one before they arrive. You could even say “I’m going to find our server because I want a (different/another) drink” and get a mocktail then in case your friends arrive first. 

  
  

  
  

  RANDOM EXCUSES TO NOT DRINK: You could say your New Years resolution is to go 1 month without alcohol to see if it helps you feel better in some way or another (mentally, physically, less headaches, etc..) You could also say you had a doctor appointment and they want you to take a break from drinking. All because you have a blood/urine test that you aren’t allowed to have alcohol within 72 hours of. Maybe add sugar and caffeine to take some focus off the alcohol. Why? You’re having a couple tests the dr. Suggested as an annual thing, but you can’t remember the name of the blood panel. There’s a lot. They probably won’t check. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic (for an UTI or anything tbh) that you can’t mix with alcohol-These antibiotics could be Flagyl, Tindamax, or Bactrim. You could even be prescribed “another round” if they don’t go away.  Maybe you “notice your period cramps are worse when you drink.” Make sure to only use that excuse once a month, Lol. I suggest googling what things you can’t drink alcohol while on. You may find more ideas. Choose to be a designated driver. Have something stressful after going on that you want to be in the right frame of mind for.
  
  RANDOM REASONS NOT TO SHOW UP:
  Do you know any kids in your life (family or friends) that they aren’t close to/know well? Perhaps you could say day of that there was a family scenario for them and you had to babysit. You could also say someone is sick or feeling down and you need to make them a meal/go be with them through the hard time. Your boss needed you to stay late. You have a Zoom meeting scheduled with your relative and you forgot about it but they just reminded you and you feel bad that you forgot about them because you already had to reschedule once.. Maybe say you ate something  that made you sick, and you want to play it safe.. Someone showed up unexpectedly to see you…
  
  TAKE CONTROL:
  Instead of meeting in public, suggest everyone comes over for a cocktail night! If you’re hosting alcohol, no one would consider you being pregnant. This way it’s super easy for you to make a mocktail here or there OR serve yourself actual alcohol and PRETEND to take sips. When no one is looking pour a bit at a time in the sink. If you are at friends house, you may be able to pour it down the sink subtly as well. If anyone catches you, say you found a hair in the drink. If your significant other is with you, in front of everyone, say, “hey babe can you get a drink for me/us to share?” And tell him ahead to make sure he drinks it all and that you’ll just pretend to. Another way you could take the lead would be suggesting Brunch, movie night, bowling, or even just going to an actual dinner so that you can focus talk on food as well as drinks etc.. Even saying “hmm I’m trying to decide between iced tea and a beer, but for some reason an iced tea sounds so good right now!”
  
  Best of luck! Also if you get nausea, I highly recommend a pouch with a variety of crackers, tummy drops, perhaps sour candies, a anti nausea inhaler, and some other things you find help. Those were all lifesavers when we were at my in-laws for New Years! I had my pouch open sneaking goldfish/oyster crackers in to manage the nausea the whole time. I hope you are able to slow down a bit, but keep everyone in the dark, while still having fun together!

  Report3 Reply
• wisewitch222 member

  January 2022

  My first pregnancy I was hit with some pretty extreme fatigue the first trimester so I just told everyone I had mono for a few weeks and didn't go out. Maybe a less believable lie in the current viral environment, but playing sick with anything really can work for a few weeks. 

  Report1 Reply
• meandbabybean member

  January 2022

  That’s a good idea! With Covid these days, I could really say I’m just being extra cautious and have the sniffles or something. I’m also a school teacher so that is extra believable, thank you!

  Report0 Reply
• meandbabybean member

  January 2022

  Thank you SO MUCH for your very thoughtful and comprehensive reply! You have some fantastic suggestions! I really appreciate it!

  Report0 Reply
• onlygooddays08 member

  January 2022

  I go and order bitters and soda with a slice of orange. I've fooled two drinking friends so far with this. Bitters does have alcohol, but you basically get a dash so I personally don't "count" it and have no qualms about drinking it. I am considering covid now, though, with the rising cases and will likely truthfully use that as an excuse not to be in many public social situations until things calm down.

  Report0 Reply
• wisewitch222 member

  January 2022

  @onlygooddays08 my go-to fake drink is Sprite with lime (or stage sip a glass of white wine if I'm at somebody's house), and honestly if I felt up to going out I'd do that, but I feel so down for the count in first tri I don't want to do anything. By the time I feel better I'm past the keeping it a secret window. 

  Report0 Reply
• itsme215 member

  January 2022

  My excuse this month is that I’m doing Dry January. I’m hoping by February when I’m 12 weeks I’ll be able to tell people, or at least the people I’m most likely to be around alcohol with. 

  Report1 Reply