Healthy Habits w/o 11.8

Re: Healthy Habits w/o 11.8

• kiki047 member

  November 2021 edited November 2021

  Thank you @keikilove for starting this thread. I was thinking about it yesterday. 
  *ETA: This is all related to mental health, but I feel like I should add that I also feel good physically again for the first time in a long time. Other than the fact that I have a bum arm (tennis elbow), my energy is good, my bloat is subsiding, and I even had a thought that maybe I'd try exercising again. That was a very fleeting thought, but it doesn't happen often. 
  
  What goals are you working on this week? Trying not to catastrophize everything that feels like it's looming over my head (e.g. PGT results). And also trying not to allow myself to be consumed by the things in my life that suck energy out of me. For instance, I sit on the Board of Directors for a large non-profit and things have been really intense lately, with a lot being asked of us. I find the energy really toxic at the moment and it is important that I keep reminding myself that as much as I care deeply about the future of this organization and I want to see them succeed, I do not owe them more than what I currently have to give right now, and that's ok. **note this is a very difficult concept for me to reconcile. 
  
  Any challenges or struggles?  See above re: my tendency to need to completely devote all my time and energy to others and have nothing left for myself.
  *TW* Last week was a tough loss anniversary for me so I'm already feeling a little weighed down by that, along with just general triggers of like a ton of PG announcements and 3 births in the last 5 days *end TW* 
  
  Any wins motivating you to keep going? I had a session with my therapist on Friday and she asked me how things were going with my family, on my side and my in-laws side, and shockingly I surprised myself when I said that things were actually pretty good. I've done a lot of hard, uncomfortable work establishing and reinforcing boundaries over the last few years and it finally feels like maybe it's paying off. I'm still working on teaching MH how to enforce those boundaries because he's a complete pushover and would bend over backwards for anyone - at great personal cost - but I think he is also appreciating how freeing it is to feel like we're being met on our own terms instead of always catering to the needs of everyone else. I can't tell you how much of a win that is. And I completely didn't see it happening until my therapist pointed it out. God I love therapy. 
  
  

  

  
  

  
  TTC History:
  

  Me: 36  MH: 39, TTC since Dec 2017

  Aug '18: PCOS dx

  Nov '18: MH SA - 19mil

  Dec '18-Mar '19: Letrozole + TI - all BFN

  Apr '19: Letrozole + TI, - BFN.  Repeat SA (27mil) & DNA fragmentation test (17%)

  Aug '19: Letrozole + HCG trigger + IUI + prog supp - BFN (MH: 16mil)

  Sep '19: 2nd IUI, same protocol - BFN (MH: 16mil) 

  Dec '19: IVF #1 w/ICSI, PGT. 5 retrieved, 4 fertilized, 3 blasts, 3 PGT-A normal.

  Mar '20: FET #1, perfect 5AA blast transferred. BFN.

  Sept '20: FET #2, 5BB tsf. 9/18/20 BFP!! EDD: 5/27/21. MMC 11w                                                  

  Feb ‘21: FET #3, last 6BB blast transferred. BFP, EDD 11/2/21. MC 5w3d. 

  May '21: IVF #2 w/ICSI, PGT. 8R, 7M, 6F, 6 blasts - 3AB, 3AB, 3BB, 4BB, 5BB, 6BA. Fresh tsf 5/13/21 - BFN. 

  June '21: PGT-A results = 3 abnormal, 1 low level mosaic. Referred to new REI, had consult with 2nd RE in between. 

  
  

  Sept '21: RPL, immune testing normal

  Oct '21: IVF #3 w/IMSI, PGT. 33R, 26M, 23F, 9 blasts (7 day 6, 2 day 7). PGT-A = 5 normal, 1 mosaic

  Dec '21: Positive for endometritis, RX Flagyl & Keflex

  Jan '22: FET #5 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol incl. PRP, intralipids, prednisone, medrol, nivestym, fragmin - CP

  Feb '22: FET #6 - Kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol w/higher doses of pred & fragmin - BFN

  Mar '22: Mock cycle for ERA - cancelled, repeat endometrial biopsy instead. Still positive for endometritis. RX ciprofloxacin & amoxicillin. 

  Apr '22: IVF #4 w/IMSI, PGT. 28R, 23M, 16F, 11 blasts. PGT-A = 6 normal. 

  June '22: FET #7 - Microdose lupron downreg w/kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol - double embryo transfer. BFN.

  July '22: FET #8 - Mini stim w/Puregon + trigger, kitchen sink immune/RIF protocol. BFN. 

  Sep '22: Taking a break

  Dec '22: Attempted abdominal myomectomy, fibroid too close to cervix and major blood vessels. Wasn't removed. 

  Feb '23: FET #9 - Modified natural w/baby asp, HCG trigger, PIO, PRP, Medrol, HCG wash, embryo glue - BFP!! EDD 11/11/23

  
  

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• keikilove member

  November 2021

  @kiki047 I hope it’s ok with you that I’m posting in this thread from last week, essentially recycling it.😄 Your post was too beautiful (and lonely last week) to not respond to. I hope this week continues to feel good for you physically, mentally, and energetically.✨How are you doing with setting limits with your commitments to the Board, etc? 
  
  AFM, it feels like forever since I’ve participated here…Accountability posting.😉

  
  

  What goals are you working on this week? I’m aiming for the usual 10,000 steps and adding a serious sleep goal of 7-8 hours. 
  
  Any challenges or struggles? Sleep has been elusive for some time now. I’ve been averaging 4-5 hours a night. Lots of work responsibilities keeping me up late and waking me up early, not cool. Aiming to put this way more in balance this week. 
  
  Any wins motivating you to keep going? I have been consistently hitting my goal of 70,000 steps per week. I’m happy with myself because I usually overdo it by accident on procedure days. This week I had an IUI and I very purposefully did NOT hit 10,000 steps the day of or the day after the procedure. And I let others lift my heavy suitcase and work bag while I traveled, which isn’t like me. These are small things I am trying to do to nurture and be gentle with myself in this two week wait.  
  
  
  
  

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