Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
AshleyGemini24
member
Re: Things I wish I'd known
Take the stool softener. If they don't offer ASK
Dont be afraid to be your own advocate. You know your body more than anyone else.
It's ok to go to the hospital for false labor. It happens all the time..
You might poop on the table, and that's ok too.
You will be the hungriest you've ever been in your life after delivery.
Its also ok you don't instantly bond with baby. It comes with time.
There will probably be a hormone dump 2-3 days after delivery. You will be so.happy, but all you'll be able to do is cry.
Post delivery, eat and drink a lot.
With my first, through the night, any peep he made, I'd put him on the book. I didn't realize that babies are loud sleepers and are likely still asleep even though they are 'fussing'. Shushing him back to sleep might have resulted in longer stretches of unbroken sleep for the both of us.
If you have a csection, ask for and use the belly binder! For some reason, I was not offered one until I was leaving the hospital. But it turned out to be so helpful the first couple weeks with comfort when moving/walking.
I did not know about postpartum night sweats being a thing as hormone levels drop. I think they lasted a couple weeks, but it might not have been that long. But it definitely caught me by surprise.
@sarah_is_pregnant, definitely agree with newborns being very loud sleepers. It took us a few weeks to figure this out too! Sometimes baby would even cry out like he was awake but would still be asleep.
I don't know that this is true for everyone, but it HURTS when your milk comes in. I was in so much pain. Cold gel inserts for my bra were very helpful. Ask your nurse if they have any you can use. There was so much pressure that I had to hand express in the shower to relieve some of the pain.
Definitely make your partner your advocate and voice when you can't voice it yourself.
If your laboring position isn't working for you, don't be afraid to ask to change if you can. I was struggling to push from my back. I got much more oomf by pushing on my side and using the side rail as leverage, and then turning to my back at the last minute.
Baby Girl Due: 1-1-22
Be super proactive with nipple care. Start the cream even before you think you need it. If your nipples get cracked and the pain is unbearable, give each nipple a little break. Nurse on one side, then pump the other. Switch it up next feeding. This helped immensely when I was sobbing during cluster feeding.
I was VERY lucky and had no major vaginal pain post delivery. Sore, but not terrible. I'm very nervous for this go around since (hopefully) I'll make it closer to 40weeks and thus will deliver a bigger baby. (My son was 5lbs4oz at 34 weeks)
Baby Girl Due: 1-1-22
Baby Girl Due: 1-1-22