@doxiemoxie212 I think the lines between OB and hospital midwife get a little more blurred. The stereotype(?) difference between the two would say that midwives are generally going to be less likely to intervene (induce, episiotomy, etc) unnecessarily. But in the hospital setting you can still get the pain relief of your choice with them. So that the philosophy part I think.
And then OBs are the ones who are going to handle the higher risks and c-sections.
And I think it depends on your area, my region leans towards lower c-section rates and interventions anyways. So then it’s a little less of a difference there too.
I am waffling like crazy on where and who I want to deliver. I used a free standing birth center and those midwives are even different than the hospital ones I used for my first two. They pride themselves on hour long visits, and so because of covid are keeping the long visits but only doing every other one in person. They were also very “whole person” care. I am apparently not a total midwifery person - I am totally ok with quick visits, and don’t really care where I am when I give birth - just leave me alone for the most part while I do so haha. But I’m not sure I want to give up in person visits.
@bluecampanula yeah, the OBs here are extremely low intervention, too. Even in the 80s when I was born at this hospital my mom had to beg for a C-section after 18 hours of failed induction (1cm dilated, water broken before start), and they've gotten lower intervention since then lol. (ETA: they induced because her water broke in the middle of the night without contractions, and she was 42+0 - they wouldn't even have induced at that point otherwise which is insane)
@doxiemoxie212 I say go with whomever you jive with best if their interventions are similar. I have had 2 OB births and am now doing a midwife (tristate area), but my midwives are pro-prenatal testing (NIPT, NT, etc…) but super hands off during actual labor. I just am more into that than CFM, IVF, amniotomies like OBs like to do
@kiwi2628 I like my actual OB, but there are 15 so I have a 1/15 chance of getting her for delivery. I liked some of the midwives (from what I could tell of them reading speeches for 5 min each), but there are 15 of them so I have a 1/15 chance of getting any of them for delivery..... I think probably ultimately it just doesn't really matter, but it feels like it should.
@doxiemoxie212 ditto. For my OB births my OB wasn’t at either birth because she was one of 8 and she’s wasn’t on call for either. My midwife group (Yale) has 12 midwives. So I think it’s just where you feel more comfortable- better waiting room, still consider philosophy- OBs may still do continuous monitoring vs a midwife group, OBs may be more likely to break your water etc. and some of that may not matter to you, but if it does- it’s something to consider
@kiwi2628 it's literally the same. The office building for appointments will be the same. The front desk staff will be the same. The waiting room will be the same. The nurses will be the same. The OBs are all fine with intermittent monitoring, eating during labor, etc. Just like the midwives they prefer you try things like showering, getting in the tub or using nitrous oxide before getting an epidural, but the midwives are also completely fine with you getting an epidural if you want to. It's CA so all the midwives are masters level+ and can prescribe the same medications. If you go with a midwife, and you end up needing a c-section they will first-assist in the c-section. I really like literally cannot see a difference. The OBs and midwives are literally a collaborative group and have been for more than 30 years, so any OB who joins this hospital does so understanding the population is primarily looking for very low intervention care. I think ultimately because of all this it really doesn't matter, but it's still a choice I have to make so it feels like I'm picking between two nearly identical Honda Civics that might have very slightly different tones of blue paint or something lol. BUT WILL ONE BE A LEMON?? hahah
@doxiemoxie212 Would you see a mid-wife more during labor (like you would an L&D nurse) than you would an OB? I love my OB and am sticking with him for this pregnancy. During labor though I saw him in person twice - when he broke my water at 6 am and that night at like 10:30 pm when he performed my c-section (which became an emergency as they were starting to prep me because I had a fever and DS2 became distressed). The whole time I was in the hospital he was checking in on me via the L&D nurses but the nurses were the ones who did stuff like try to position me, ask me how I was feeling, etc. I am not upset at all about how it went and a MW is not for me (I had a giant melon headed baby and just never dilated past 5 and am on board for a RCS) but in your situation if the MWs would be more hands on during labor that might be nice.
Eta - one thing I really like about my OB is that although he’s in a large practice they try very hard to deliver their own patients and 9/10 times do so. Because I plan a RCS I know I can schedule to have him do it.
So I try to include my kids as much as possible when they ask to “help with things.” But sometimes it’s hard to remind myself that it will all be worth it when they’re doing things more independently!
Lately it’s mostly messes and inefficiency in the kitchen. Last week is was homemade noodles. Today is was chopping an onion for chili and mixing cornbread (milk everywhere). Then of course there’s the wet bathroom. 🤦♀️ Telling myself it will be especially worth it once these twins come and I can have some decent help lined up, hahaha.
@zamoraspin2 I don't know, my OB said I wouldn't, but the midwives said they try to. I looked up stats on the hospital, and the hospital only has 1200 deliveries/year, and the midwives do half, so each one can't possibly have that many patients in labor per day unless something really wacky happens. So I'd think I might? It's crazy, though, because the hospital has 19 LDRP rooms and like my hospital in NYC only had 8. Our population is a verrrrrry small fraction of NYC. So I'm like why do we need 19 if we basically have 3 women give birth per day?
@doxiemoxie212 at your hospital do you stay in the same room you deliver in for your whole stay? my cousin says at her hospital you do, while mine only had a handful of l&d rooms and then they moved you to a different floor and recovery room.
@bluecampanula yeah they're all LDRP (labor delivery recovery postpartum).
In NYC it was 8 L&D rooms and then 3 shared recovery/postpartum rooms, and 2 private recovery/postpartum rooms that you pay $800/night (oop, insurance doesn't cover it) for.
@bluecampanula yeah they're all LDRP (labor delivery recovery postpartum).
In NYC it was 8 L&D rooms and then 3 shared recovery/postpartum rooms, and 2 private recovery/postpartum rooms that you pay $800/night (oop, insurance doesn't cover it) for.
@bluecampanula in NYC it's pretty common to give birth in hallways or to be turned away until you're 6cm 3+1+1 etc lol it's a wild world. One of the women from our birth class went into labor at a hospital uptown the same night I was induced, and she wanted an epidural as early as possible in her birth, but she had to labor in her OB's office for 10 hours because they didn't have a bed for her at the hospital. Randomly my hospital had no one but me the night I gave birth.
the biodegradable confetti cannons arrived so DD3 is finding out tonight!! I told her they arrived and that she'd get to find out tonight and this was the convo:
Me: you get to find out if baby is a boy or a girl tonight!
DD3: oh! It’s a sister Me: well we’ll find out tonight. I got confetti and if it’s pink it means girl and if it’s blue it means boy DD3: how about GREEN! Me: no it’s just pink or blue DD3: …yellow? Me: just pink or blue DD3: hm well I like upside down bats
@doxiemoxie212 I gave birth to both my boys in nyc -- this will be my first experience in a NJ hospital and I'm so excited-- they order dinner in for you and your husband from a restaurant of your choice and give you a post-natal massage. I paid about 700/night extra (on top of my 1k/night copay) for the private room in the nyc hospital... but both times I couldnt get into the private room until the second night. So, my husband wasn't allowed to stay overnight the first night in both my births and the shared room was TORTURE.
Me: 36 DH: 36 Married: October 2011 DS: January 2016 DS: May 2019 #3: April 2022
@winterviolethope people outside the area seriously act like what I describe about NYC is insane I was sooooo excited I got a private room the first night - I gave birth at 7am and I was like yes yes yes this means I have a much higher chance of getting a private room!!!! Do you still live in NYC or did you move to NJ?
DS3 started puking at daycare this morning so I had to leave work to come pick him up. Poor guy has felt awful all day, and he just had to undergo a COVID test on top of it (required to return to daycare Monday). FX for negative and that this is just a tummy bug!
Does anyone randomly work for the IRS? Or maybe someone has experience...We got our tax credit payment finally but its a weird random amount-just over $200 lower than it should be. And I have no idea how it could possibly be getting lower-we didn't turn in new taxes, we didn't change anything, and we aren't at the phase out threshold. Even if we were at the phase out threshold, it seems it reduces by $50 for every $1000 over you are, and the amount we recieved is not a multiple of $50. I'm weirdly obsessed with figuring this out because I don't trust the IRS to not insist I received the full amount come tax time and make me really work to get the full credit. Sigh.
Re: Weekly Randoms w/o 9/20
In NYC it was 8 L&D rooms and then 3 shared recovery/postpartum rooms, and 2 private recovery/postpartum rooms that you pay $800/night (oop, insurance doesn't cover it) for.
Me: you get to find out if baby is a boy or a girl tonight!
DD3: oh! It’s a sister
Me: well we’ll find out tonight. I got confetti and if it’s pink it means girl and if it’s blue it means boy
DD3: how about GREEN!
Me: no it’s just pink or blue
DD3: …yellow?
Me: just pink or blue
DD3: hm well I like upside down bats
So, we'll see lol
Married: October 2011
DS: January 2016
DS: May 2019
#3: April 2022
Married: October 2011
DS: January 2016
DS: May 2019
#3: April 2022