Private Group Discussion

galentine · August 2021

I think it's time to discuss moving to a private group! We are all hitting 3rd trimester, symptoms are about to get REAL, and also, most significantly, the November BMB beat us to the punch

Image: https://i.giphy.com/media/jriyttiYW9eX7cj8ln/giphy.webp

galentine · August 2021

My suggestions would be:

-move to a private group here on TB first. Maybe move to Facebook later (if that's what the majority of the group prefers). But I personally would feel most comfortable with an intermediate step of a private group here first, where we can slowly share some more personal details, get to know each other a little better, and determine how we trust one another.

-have a group of 3 or so mods who would be willing to take on the task of counting votes, inviting members to the PG, etc.

-have a voting process to determine who should be allowed in the PG. My thoughts are to allow those members who contributed meaningfully. As in: did they participate over time, in multiple threads, converse with others, support others, ask/answer questions. IMO, people who just post their own info and then ghost would not meet this criteria.

-have a vetting process once admitted to the PG to prove you aren't a catfish. In my last BMB, we did a proof of life thread, where everyone posted a bump pic including their face and a note containing their TB profile name and the date.

madiirosee · August 2021

I would love to join a PG! Being a FTM I could use the support.

jtayl962 · August 2021

I'm willing to do go to a private group as well. This group help me out as well.

demimondaine · August 2021

HOWWWWWWWWWW??????? I just saw that second line like a minute ago???

vampirina · August 2021

I honestly don't feel the need for a private group and would go straight from here to FB. Though, I'd prefer to wait till the end of the month for that.

I'll do whatever you want me to though 😁

pizzaplz · August 2021

I'd also be into a private group.

demimondaine · August 2021

@vampirina Same, I can barely remember the steps to get to this group most days lol

vampirina · August 2021

@demimondainei just don't trust the bump platform with my details, but Facebook (and google) both already own my soul so...... 🤷‍♀️

noprobalo · August 2021

Any of those options is fine. I am a Facebook user, so that works for me, too. I know some folks said before that they don't use Facebook, but now I'm not remembering who.

gingermama46 · August 2021

I would love to be in a private group! I'll participate in a PG, but would be open to moving to just FB as well.

kandb4 · August 2021

I'd do a private group here... but also don't know how that works 🤭

chindimples04 · August 2021

Yes to the private group! @galentine in the May’19 BMB, we also had them add a random item to the photo (ours was a hairbrush). We also did a “voting” process to make sure the people in the private group were people that everyone get comfortable adding and recognized their usernames and such. We got a lot of hate for this but 🤷🏻‍♀️. I admin my last BMB both in a PG and on FB. I would love to eventually move to Facebook but definitely want an intermediate step in between.

galentine · August 2021

chindimples04 said:

Yes to the private group! @galentine in the May’19 BMB, we also had them add a random item to the photo (ours was a hairbrush). We also did a “voting” process to make sure the people in the private group were people that everyone get comfortable adding and recognized their usernames and such. We got a lot of hate for this but 🤷🏻‍♀️. I admin my last BMB both in a PG and on FB. I would love to eventually move to Facebook but definitely want an intermediate step in between.

I like all of this! Especially the bolded. I understand it's awkward to "vote" yes or no to letting people into a private group. But if it was cool to just let anyone in a private group.... then there would be no need for a private group 🤦‍♀️ the whole point is to keep it to the people you feel you can trust with more private info!

galentine · August 2021

@cait32, I think that's totally fair! No one should feel like obligated to post a photo to TB, if they feel unsafe. PM-ing/email/other secure method a "proof of life" pic to an admin for the private group seems like a good strategy too.

pizzaplz · August 2021

@cait32 I totally agree with you about posting full photos here. I was going to ask if we could post them but have them reviewed asap so we'd have the option to delete before time ran out. I much prefer the suggestion of PMing an admin instead!

galentine · August 2021

demimondaine said:

HOWWWWWWWWWW??????? I just saw that second line like a minute ago???

This has simultaneously been the fastest and slowest pregnancy ever. It feels like I just found out, but also somehow October is almost here?! 🤯

k_rn21 · August 2021

I like the idea of a private group only because I don’t have Facebook 😭

gingermama46 · August 2021

@cait32 also a fan of PMing an admin a photo. Also not comfortable with posting something here that can't be deleted. @pizzaplz I thought about that too, reviewing ASAP, but then I don't want the admin's to have to that suck up their whole day so photos can be deleted. Glad a PM would work though!

pizzaplz · August 2021

@galentine I knowwww! When I was pregnant with my daughter, time seemed to pass at a normal speed. Now, it's like a weird time warp or something. It blows my mind that I could potentially have a second child in less than two months. 😳 I think since I already have a kid, the idea of another is more concrete, whereas before, I had nothing to base the idea of my own child on. So maybe that's a contributing factor!

galentine · August 2021

I'll make a separate thread for a "roll call" for people to post in to indicate desire to join the PG/votes for admittance to the PG. I think we have about 15 people (+/- a few) who post with some regularity. What are people thinking as a voting threshold to get in to the private group? 8ish? I would think we'd want a "yes" vote from at least 50% of however many want to join. So maybe more than 8 depending on how many ask to join?

What else do we need to discuss? Mods/admin?

gingermama46 · August 2021

@galentine Mods/admins for sure.

Maybe a how to, for accessing the PG. I very lazily, tried to poke around how to find out and was so lost...but maybe that's because I'm not nor have I ever been one.

vampirina · August 2021

@cait32 i agree I don't want to post any personal pics here. I wouldn't mind a faceless photo but...

Also, I neither want to mod nor admin 😅.

tari_sara · August 2021

Idk how the Private Group works but i'm in and I'm sure i'll learn. I'm also okay joining a facebook group!

chindimples04 · August 2021

I’m cool with admiring/moding if there are no objections.

galentine · August 2021

I was just coming here to nominate you as an admin, if you were willing, @chindimples04! I'm willing to do it too, if there are no objections. Anyone else want to do it so we can have 3?

Good idea @gingermama46 about a how-to on how to access the private group. If I recall from my DD's, it can be a bit of a pain to access it for the first time, but after that it's smooth sailing.

chindimples04 · August 2021

@galentine you have PM.

marbellie · August 2021

*creepily stalking from Nov 21* @galentine please teach me how to make a private group! Can't let you beat us to the punch 😅😂

chindimples04 · August 2021

We’ve been tossing around some name ideas for our PG, just to be unique and cute. If you have another name suggestion, PM either me or @galentine 🤣 Please “love” the title you like best!

chindimples04 · August 2021

Octo-Moms

chindimples04 · August 2021

October’s Pumpkin Patch

pizzaplz · August 2021

Omg, Octomoms 😆😆😆
Thanks for taking on the work of getting our private group up and running, @galentine and @chindimples04!

mac-n-cheesy · August 2021

Yes to a private group. Even though I missed a few weeks I hope I’d still be in.
I saw a former group who started a thread about getting into the private group and they required a certain number of “love it’s” by other members to be let in. If you recognized that person and that they tried on here you’d love their post and if you got enough love it’s you’d be in. I just don’t want it to be a popularity contest but not do I feel someone who hasn’t contributed and isn’t recognizable should just get to be in either.
Octomoms would be simply perfect. Did you guys hear a woman just gave birth to 9 babies??
https://www.npr.org/2021/05/06/994244064/nonuplets-woman-from-mali-gives-birth-to-9-babies

galentine · August 2021

mac-n-cheesy said:

I saw a former group who started a thread about getting into the private group and they required a certain number of “love it’s” by other members to be let in. If you recognized that person and that they tried on here you’d love their post and if you got enough love it’s you’d be in.

Yep! This is the plan and this thread is already created 😊 it got pushed down the page a bit, so I'll bump it back up for those who haven't posted in it yet.

KackiJane · August 2021

So when I suggested making a private group through a different application you guys were all up my ass but now it seems to be okay to advertise elsewhere....?

chindimples04 · August 2021

@KackiJane this is a private group still here on the bump. It’s also after 6 months of getting to know each other and sharing bits and pieces of our lives and journeys with each other. This is typically how these BMB groups evolve over time, starting in the public bump forum before transitioning into a more private, protected setting here on the bump. Dozens of BMBs have done it before us and dozens of BMBs will do it after us.

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