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January 2022 Moms
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The most taboo subject of all...

marijke1987marijke1987 member
in January 2022 Moms
I am extremely hesitant to even bring this up. But i’d like to think i’m not alone. 

So... here it goes! I’ve had two MC’s in a row. Right now I am 6wks pregnant. I currently do not have any symptoms and that has me slightly worried, even though my own mom had no symptoms at all carrying me and didn’t even show until month 8. 

I was in the middle of getting testing done at the fertility clinic to find out if anything was amiss, when I found out I was pregnant again. So I have not seen any results or outcome of all the testing. My first in person appt is at May 25th, which happens to be my U/S at 7wks. 

And I am so incredibly scared that my previous MC’s were perhaps chromosomal related, and what if that means that right now I might be pregnant with a baby that could have some abnormality, down syndrome, or anything in that direction. Then what? I want this baby really bad but at the same time I am scared there might be something genetically wrong. 

Are there more people that feel like this?  
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Re: The most taboo subject of all...

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    Lisa3379Lisa3379 member
    TW: loss 

    I can sympathize with these feelings for sure. I was pregnant last spring, and everything seemed fine, meaning I had the same symptoms as I had with my first two pregnancies that resulted in healthy babies. My NT scan and blood work revealed that the baby had Down syndrome, and so we terminated the pregnancy - by far the saddest decision I had ever made. I knew it was the right decision for us, but ugh, it was just awful. But I moved on. It was actually easier than I thought to move on, which also felt weird. Anyway, I got pregnant last fall, and had really no symptoms, and that resulted in a MC at 8 weeks. No idea what happened there. 

    We decided to go right to IVF because I figured that because of my age (39) I was more likely to have messed up conceptions, and I didn't want to wait potentially months to get pregnant again. We were able to get 5 embryos, and we tested them all, and they all ended up fine, which was a pleasant surprise. Maybe it was just the luck of the draw? I don't know. But I kinda think that the chances of carrying a baby up until the point where testing reveals something serious are pretty low in general, and that even though you've had MCs before, it doesn't mean that this one is more likely to end up a MC as well. I don't know. I feel like I'm rambling. I guess my point is that after my 1 for sure, 2 probably chromosomal issues last year, we were able to have 5 successful embryos at one time, so the odds are probably way in your favor, too. 

    My advice is to take it day by day. It does no good worrying about things you can't control, and if something goes wrong, you'll find the strength to make the right decision that's best for you, and you'll move on and get through it. I didn't think I would at the time, and I did. Sorry if all that sounds heavy, it's just my personal experience. 
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    fifilala516fifilala516 member
    TW: Mention of loss

    These are natural thoughts to have. I feel like I have "mild" symptoms (even though I am only 5w today) so I am also worrying that something might be wrong, especially since my previous pregnancy was a chemical. 

    I know the anxiety is real. I do believe it is good to think about these things in terms of having an idea/a plan of how you will react, God forbid, if the worse happens. It's important that you and your partner are on the same page. 

    My husband and I underwent genetic testing before we started TTC and it put our mind at ease, even though we know nothing is 100% risk-free. Just try to take it one day at a time, which I KNOW is easier said than done.
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    marijke1987marijke1987 member
    @Lisa3379 No not at all! Your response is helping me tremendously! I appreciate your insight a lot. My husband and I have also talked about that possibility and what we would do if anything was abnormal. And we are also leaning towards termination if that is the case. Now the thing is, I am from the Netherlands where our laws are very lenient. We are a lot easier when it comes to termination and even euthanasia so that is what I grew up with. However I reside in Texas and im just not sure what the laws are and I feel they might be more conservative. Just another thing to add to my worry list. 

    I am so sorry for all you went through and appreciate you sharing it to be a comfort to someone else! 🤗 

    5 healthy embryo’s WOW! That is good news indeed and yet again you are right, it proofs that the odds are in our favor. This makes me feel a whole lot better. 

    Thank you... sending happy healthy vibes to you and your baby! 
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    Lisa3379Lisa3379 member
    @marijke1987 I'm glad it was helpful to hear that. It definitely helped me, at the time especially, to talk about it. Wishing you and yours a healthy and uneventful 9 months too! :) 
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    AshleyGemini24AshleyGemini24 member
    I undwrstnad completely but maybe this should go under the PGAL thread. 
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    marijke1987marijke1987 member
    @AshleyGemini24 well it is not exactly about experiencing a loss, I don’t see that as a taboo subject, but more about the fear of there being an abnormality and then how to deal with that. As in termination and if those thoughts are acceptable. 

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