Need positive vibes

coadyk01 · February 2021

Backstory - My husband and I had 2 kids (6 and 8 at the time) when we were SHOCKED by #3. I was totally done having kids (I thought), but my husband wasn't sure, so he hadn't gotten snipped. Now #3 is 1 yo, and I just found out I am pregnant again. My husband and kids have been begging for #4, so I am not upset. My husband is a great dad, and I love being a mom. But I am expecting all of my friends to say "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not know how sex works?". So I want to be excited, but I am anxious instead. Just looking for some positive vibes to get me through this nervous day. I don't want to talk to any friends about it till I am further along, so I feel a bit alone with this right now.

coldlife2 · February 2021

coadyk01 said:

Backstory - My husband and I had 2 kids (6 and 8 at the time) when we were SHOCKED by #3. I was totally done having kids (I thought), but my husband wasn't sure, so he hadn't gotten snipped. Now #3 is 1 yo, and I just found out I am pregnant again. My husband and kids have been begging for #4, so I am not upset. My husband is a great dad, and I love being a mom. But I am expecting all of my friends to say "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you not know how sex works?". So I want to be excited, but I am anxious instead. Just looking for some positive vibes to get me through this nervous day. I don't want to talk to any friends about it till I am further along, so I feel a bit alone with this right now.

Sounds like you might need new friends. I have three kids, and I don’t have any friends who would say things like that to me. If you’re announcing a pregnancy with anything other than “I’m pregnant and so upset,” good friends would automatically default to excitement and congratulations. It’s no one’s business except yours and your H’s how many kids you have, and there is no wrong number to have.

I’d start by announcing it this way, “hooray, we’re having another baby!!” Anyone who responds negatively after you’ve already expressed that it’s a positive thing is a mean, horrid person. If they respond with “what’s wrong with you?” I’d be tempted to say, “Nothing. What’s wrong with you? This is my life, and I can live it as I see fit.”

stormageddon-darklordofall · February 2021

@coadyk01 Look on the bright side... you wanted and now are in the process of having 4 kids. F your friends if they can't be happy for you. You could've had 4 (or more) MCs like some of us have had. Consider yourself lucky and don't think about the opinions of others.

emeraldcity1214 · February 2021

I have 5 kids and 1 on the way. I get told all kinds of things like, “don’t you know how birth control works?” (All of these except the first have been planned) or “you’re crazy!” “Why would you want that many kids?” People can be so rude. I even encountered a lady who is a close friend to my friend and she said she didn’t want to go to a restaurant with us because she didn’t want to chase all the kids around. I told her she only had 1 kid and it shouldn’t be that hard to keep the kid in his seat. She then looked at me and said, “I didn’t make you have 5 kids.” I was a little shocked because I don’t expect anyone to help me parent my kids. My kids don’t run around in restaurants either because I take them out enough they know how to behave in public. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Anyways, don’t let other people’s opinions or comments decide your family size. Or make you feel like you can’t celebrate this baby.

wishiwaspreggo · February 2021

@emeraldcity1214 That's awful!!! I'm always amazed when people have more than 3 kids (I have 3 and it feels like pure chaos) but to each their own. If you want and can manage that many kids kudos to you. I love having friends with lots of kids because that means more kids for mine to play with

OP, tell your friends to take a hike. It's your life and your business. If you and your family are excited about the new baby, good friends will be excited for you.

calliah · February 2021

I got pregnant with my third when my second was 4 months old and was most definitely an oops. I had nothing but support from friends and family(aside from my dad 🙄). So you need new friends if that’s how they would react. Your uterus and family planning is no one else’s business.

meggyme · February 2021

Hopefully your anxiety is getting the better of you and you are playing out worst case scenarios that would never happen in real life and you will have worried for nothing. I hope if goes well.

[Deleted User] · March 2021

Hope you're feeling better OP<div>
I echo others who have said, it may be time to make some new friends. I have to wonder what is wrong with society when you realize that otherwise normal people go around operating under the assumptions that 1. Using Birth Control is normal 2. Sex is not meant PRIMARILY as a means of procreation 3. A couple in a loving married relationship ought to be anything but thrilled to have been given the gift of another child!

I know I am speaking from my own personal perspective and (possibly unpopular) religious views, but I'm glad your husband didn't, "get snipped!" Imho, people take their own reproductive capabilities so much for granted, between prescribing hormonal birth control to teenagers (messes with their brain chemistry and impacts the type of prospective partner they are attracted to, nevermind assumes that they just cannot control their passions enough to abstain), to married men/women getting snipped / tied and whatnot. Speaking as an azoo wife and infertility survivor, I seriously can't even fathom. What I wouldn't give to be able to fall spontaneously pregnant with MH. Or to ever know that queasy omg this is happening feeling of having babies super close together. Sorry to rant, but anyone who isn't by default over the moon for you needs to get bent. Congratulations!!!

ETA grammar</div>

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