GTKY 01/05 — The Bump
May 2021 Moms

GTKY 01/05

Are you having a baby shower? Virtual or in person? Do you want one?

Follow up: What would be your perfect baby shower if you could plan it yourself? (Regardless if your having one or not)

Re: GTKY 01/05

  • Second time mom and not planning to have a sprinkle. I did make a registery for people who ask and for the completion discount. 

    For my son I had a surprise shower thrown by my mother which in the end was lovely but the fact she demanded it be a surprise was super stressful. 
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  • i LOVE baby/bridal showers.  attending, planning, every bit of it.  DH has even acknowledged that i must feel cheated to not be able to have one as in normal times. 

    Since my mother and MIL have started trying to figure out what is feasible and what is not, they've narrowed down to a few options: host a small, intimate, immediate family only luncheon; wait and see what the spring brings and maybe get to have an outdoor event with ~30-35 people so i can include more relatives and close friends; or a drive up shower (which i suggested).  Unclear where this will land.  I don't want to be involved in details beyond just the date and venue, so i am not asking any other questions once those things are decided.

    My dream shower (non Covid times) is definitely food focused, i would love a really interesting cuisine that's memorable.  i also love the ritual of opening gifts (and watching guest of honor open them).  i never find a shower as enjoyable if everything is already opened or in clear packaging (or if they don't even touch gifts on-site!).  i love the traditions of games and just getting to see everyone close to you before baby comes.
  • STM and nope. I did have one with my first but not planning on having anything with my second and nobody has offered anyway. We really don't need much and I wouldn't feel comfortable having a get together anytime soon and I'm not a huge fan of virtual events because I feel awkward. It's also considered tacky to have a shower after your first down here (I don't agree!) although "sprinkles" have become more popular. We did create a registry that we'll share if anyone asks but we mostly created it to use the completion discounts and there's not a whole lot on either of the ones we put together. 
  • STM and nope.  I didin't feel comfortable having a shower the first time,  just because we are in a better financial place than a lot of my family.  However it was very helpful and we had to buy almost nothing after the shower.  This time I don't want one, because of covid and feeling greedy.  My mil wants to buy us a big gift like she did for our first.  We kept everything for our first, so we don't need much.  I made registries, mainly for the completion discounts

    TTC #1 since August 2015
    BFP #1 January 28, 2016
    EDD October 3, 2016
    Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
    My Chart
    TTC #2 Since August 2020
    BFP #2 September 11, 2020
    EDD May 23, 2021

  • Third time mom with a third boy and definitely not planning a shower. I made registries for completion discounts.
    *Loss 8/2014*
    *Rainbow 8/2015*
    *Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
    *Loss of Twin 5/2018*

  • 4TM (but first with fiancé) - we aren’t planning on having a shower. I made a registry more or less for a list of items that we can purchase from to keep track. We are both in a very good place financially and I don’t feel comfortable with having people buy us gifts. I’m sure his family will ask for our registry and if they want to purchase something they can - but I’m not advertising it.. you know? 
  • FTM and yes I will be having a shower.  My husband and I moved across the country last year so even if COVID wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t be able to have a “typical” shower-probably would have travelled back East for some sort of party at my mom’s house but asked guests to mail gifts if they wanted to buy us anything so I wouldn’t have to figure out how to fly home all the gifts.

    Because of COVID, I’ll be having some kind of zoom/virtual shower, but my mom and older sister said they are going to come visit to be here in person for it so I won’t have to be alone. I feel like I’m really awkward in group settings and hate all eyes on me/being the center of attention, so a virtual shower is kind of a nightmare scenario for me—nowhere to escape to!

    My “ideal shower” would be an in-person event, possibly even co-ed. One of my friends had a baby shower that was coed and was really more of just a bbq/party with all of their family and friends—they didn’t even open gifts because they just wanted to be able to spend time with everyone. It was really nice and I feel like I would want something like that (and the best part was no awkward baby shower games!)
  • yellingbananayellingbanana member
    edited January 2021
    @nsk489 I love the bbq shower parties. It’s the best. 
    I’m not really a fan of regular babyshowers because I hate the games. I also don’t like being the center of attention. 

    With DD1, we had just moved to San Diego. My work threw me a surprise shower, which was great! And my husbands new co-workers wives threw me a surprise shower also, which made me happy cry. Then I went to visit my grandma in Los Angeles, and they threw me a surprise shower too! That was my favorite because there was so much of my extended family there that I hadn’t seen in years. Plus my grandma is a savage Mexican chef, and I love food, and my grandma. 

    My kids are all 5 years apart, so when I was expecting DD2, we had moved back up to the Seattle area by mine and DH’s immediate families. My mom threw a shower for me in the Seattle area, and my mil threw a BBQ/party shower for me in eastern WA for DH’s family. 

    I wouldn’t have had a shower with DS, but my mom insisted because he was my first, and only, boy. 

    We aren’t having a shower with this one because it’s #4, and covid19. I think we would have had a BBQ party in celebration and not asked for gifts. But if someone really wanted to get us something they could check out our registry. But that’s not the case! So no shower! In fact, I’ve only told a handful of people that we are expecting. I haven’t posted anything on social media about it. But I did send a family photo Christmas card out where it’s obvious that I’m expecting. 

    We don’t judge up here, and people usually have baby showers for the first 2 or 3 kids. A friend of mine just had a Zoom baby shower for her 3rd. But she is struggling, just moved her family in with her parents. And #3 was a ‘surprise’. So I got her way more things than I normally would have because she really needed everything. There are 8 years between her 2nd and 3rd, she didn’t have any baby stuff left! 

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

  • I'd like to have a baby shower! It would probably be virtual or drive by, I guess we'll see about this later this month.

    My perfect baby shower would be in the summer, both in a backyard and inside and men and women would attend. Not sure if we'd do game! I usually don't mind them but feel like most participants would rather skip it. I'd like to have a big cake or dessert table. I think I'd like to do a gift opening session, and whoever would rather chill outside while that happens would be welcomed to do so.
  • I won't be having one as this is our third. I had a very small one with my first and with my second my coworkers threw me a surprise shower that was bigger than with my first lol. We hardly need anything at all for this baby and what we do need we've pretty much already purchased.

    My ideal shower would be no shower haha, I'm pretty introverted and showers make me so uncomfortable. I also hate the idea of people spending their money on my family. 

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