GTKY 01/05

mimser · January 2021

Are you having a baby shower? Virtual or in person? Do you want one?

Follow up: What would be your perfect baby shower if you could plan it yourself? (Regardless if your having one or not)

Liz101015 · January 2021

Second time mom and not planning to have a sprinkle. I did make a registery for people who ask and for the completion discount.

For my son I had a surprise shower thrown by my mother which in the end was lovely but the fact she demanded it be a surprise was super stressful.

mrosek91 · January 2021

No shower here. In my culture we do not purchase anything for baby before they are born. To do so is to "give the pregnancy an evil eye" (literal translation, but different concept than what people usually think of.) Some people are more strict than others. My family does not buy ANYTHING. DH's family will buy some essentials, and he convinced me to get a carseat before DS#1 was born, but that was it. We ordered the pack 'n' play from amazon with 2 day shipping so it was ready for us when we got home from the hospital, and my MIL went out and bought a ton of clothes the day baby was born. With the later children it's easier because you already have all the hand me downs.

I hate showers. I didn't even let my friends throw me a bridal shower. If I had to have one it would probably be lots of friends, really good food, and no games, or gift opening.

asf0613 · January 2021

i LOVE baby/bridal showers. attending, planning, every bit of it. DH has even acknowledged that i must feel cheated to not be able to have one as in normal times.

Since my mother and MIL have started trying to figure out what is feasible and what is not, they've narrowed down to a few options: host a small, intimate, immediate family only luncheon; wait and see what the spring brings and maybe get to have an outdoor event with ~30-35 people so i can include more relatives and close friends; or a drive up shower (which i suggested). Unclear where this will land. I don't want to be involved in details beyond just the date and venue, so i am not asking any other questions once those things are decided.

My dream shower (non Covid times) is definitely food focused, i would love a really interesting cuisine that's memorable. i also love the ritual of opening gifts (and watching guest of honor open them). i never find a shower as enjoyable if everything is already opened or in clear packaging (or if they don't even touch gifts on-site!). i love the traditions of games and just getting to see everyone close to you before baby comes.

gusgus14 · January 2021

STM and nope. I did have one with my first but not planning on having anything with my second and nobody has offered anyway. We really don't need much and I wouldn't feel comfortable having a get together anytime soon and I'm not a huge fan of virtual events because I feel awkward. It's also considered tacky to have a shower after your first down here (I don't agree!) although "sprinkles" have become more popular. We did create a registry that we'll share if anyone asks but we mostly created it to use the completion discounts and there's not a whole lot on either of the ones we put together.

mkc3888 · January 2021

STM and nope. I didin't feel comfortable having a shower the first time, just because we are in a better financial place than a lot of my family. However it was very helpful and we had to buy almost nothing after the shower. This time I don't want one, because of covid and feeling greedy. My mil wants to buy us a big gift like she did for our first. We kept everything for our first, so we don't need much. I made registries, mainly for the completion discounts

texas_t · January 2021

Third time mom with a third boy and definitely not planning a shower. I made registries for completion discounts.

brynn_mamaof4 · January 2021

4TM (but first with fiancé) - we aren’t planning on having a shower. I made a registry more or less for a list of items that we can purchase from to keep track. We are both in a very good place financially and I don’t feel comfortable with having people buy us gifts. I’m sure his family will ask for our registry and if they want to purchase something they can - but I’m not advertising it.. you know?

nsk489 · January 2021

FTM and yes I will be having a shower. My husband and I moved across the country last year so even if COVID wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t be able to have a “typical” shower-probably would have travelled back East for some sort of party at my mom’s house but asked guests to mail gifts if they wanted to buy us anything so I wouldn’t have to figure out how to fly home all the gifts.

Because of COVID, I’ll be having some kind of zoom/virtual shower, but my mom and older sister said they are going to come visit to be here in person for it so I won’t have to be alone. I feel like I’m really awkward in group settings and hate all eyes on me/being the center of attention, so a virtual shower is kind of a nightmare scenario for me—nowhere to escape to!

My “ideal shower” would be an in-person event, possibly even co-ed. One of my friends had a baby shower that was coed and was really more of just a bbq/party with all of their family and friends—they didn’t even open gifts because they just wanted to be able to spend time with everyone. It was really nice and I feel like I would want something like that (and the best part was no awkward baby shower games!)

yellingbanana · January 2021

@nsk489 I love the bbq shower parties. It’s the best.

I’m not really a fan of regular babyshowers because I hate the games. I also don’t like being the center of attention.

With DD1, we had just moved to San Diego. My work threw me a surprise shower, which was great! And my husbands new co-workers wives threw me a surprise shower also, which made me happy cry. Then I went to visit my grandma in Los Angeles, and they threw me a surprise shower too! That was my favorite because there was so much of my extended family there that I hadn’t seen in years. Plus my grandma is a savage Mexican chef, and I love food, and my grandma.

My kids are all 5 years apart, so when I was expecting DD2, we had moved back up to the Seattle area by mine and DH’s immediate families. My mom threw a shower for me in the Seattle area, and my mil threw a BBQ/party shower for me in eastern WA for DH’s family.

I wouldn’t have had a shower with DS, but my mom insisted because he was my first, and only, boy.

We aren’t having a shower with this one because it’s #4, and covid19. I think we would have had a BBQ party in celebration and not asked for gifts. But if someone really wanted to get us something they could check out our registry. But that’s not the case! So no shower! In fact, I’ve only told a handful of people that we are expecting. I haven’t posted anything on social media about it. But I did send a family photo Christmas card out where it’s obvious that I’m expecting.

We don’t judge up here, and people usually have baby showers for the first 2 or 3 kids. A friend of mine just had a Zoom baby shower for her 3rd. But she is struggling, just moved her family in with her parents. And #3 was a ‘surprise’. So I got her way more things than I normally would have because she really needed everything. There are 8 years between her 2nd and 3rd, she didn’t have any baby stuff left!

mimser · January 2021

I'd like to have a baby shower! It would probably be virtual or drive by, I guess we'll see about this later this month.

My perfect baby shower would be in the summer, both in a backyard and inside and men and women would attend. Not sure if we'd do game! I usually don't mind them but feel like most participants would rather skip it. I'd like to have a big cake or dessert table. I think I'd like to do a gift opening session, and whoever would rather chill outside while that happens would be welcomed to do so.

ckmb_1250 · January 2021

I never had a shower with my first. I’ve only been to like, two baby showers in my life and they feel like mother/daughter fests, so growing up without a mom I always felt really uncomfortable at them. Also no one offered 😂

We did get a lot of gifts bought from our registry last time though. I hate that it’s taboo for people to ask for gifts for their second. I’ll take whatever I can get! My unemployment just ran out so we are transitioning to one income & a new budget. & literally the only things we need are the expensive things like stroller/car seat!

spartan4life · January 2021

We won't be having a shower this time but we did for DS. We had one for my side which was a pretty traditional baby shower with just the ladies for lunch. My sister was 6 weeks ahead of me so we got to have a joint shower so that was really fun! My MIL then also had a shower for us...she did a lunch with just the ladies and the guys were at their house for a bbq and pool party beer and diaper bash. We all got together later so it was really fun. I'm not one for showers normally but I actually did enjoy both of them.

I think my ideal shower was pretty much what MIL did (surprisingly). She had a nice lunch, minimal games and gifts. It was short and sweet, then we got to have a fun afternoon at the pool with all our friends.

littlelibelula · January 2021

I think the hardest thing for me about moving away was missing the bridal/baby showers. I loved the showers the church ladies threw hosted. There was always lots of people, great food, interesting games, an encouraging word from an older mother or mentor, and after they unwrapped the presents we got to oooh and ahhhh at the presents. Great fun as a teen-ager. I've missed a lot in the last 5 years, especially my sister's and that has been sad because I really haven't been to many out here.

Back home baby showers were always after the baby was born and I loved getting to see the baby and get a turn to carry it. But here they have them ahead of time and expect you to broadcast the name before the birth.

For my son I had friends say they would do something but nobody really planned anything like I'm used to and I didn't want to be pushy. A couple of my classes hijacked my class time to have a mini party and give some gifts and that was really exciting and appreciated. And the going away party with the teachers kind of counted as a shower. But I really missed having a church shower. Presents are nice but people are better.

But I definitely love the idea of the baby showers of my youth, but definitely with a baby bump not a baby. Great food, lots of people, creative games, inspirational advice and opening presents.

So, it's covid and we don't need anything. Even if it's a girl, we were so blessed during my DS's birth that we have all we need. And we can buy wants. So no sprinkle. However my friend is throwing a zoom gender reveal so I'll still get a party and get to see everyone.

ccmrc143 · January 2021

@mrosek91 your culture’s idea about not celebrating/buying for baby before it’s born really resonates with me, although it’s not part of my family or culture at all. I think it makes so much sense. And I wish on baby registries, the parents could control when items are shipped so that people could buy when they want but that baby stuff didn’t arrive in pieces and could arrive all at once near the due date! Maybe that is possible and I just haven’t figured it out yet.

That said, my mom is already buying certain things and we will likely have a zoom shower because my cousin wants to throw one. And there may be a few small informal zoom gatherings with different groups of friends. I wish I were as selfless and not cheap as those of you who don’t feel comfortable accepting/asking for gifts!

My dream shower would be a couple months after the baby is born and in person with all friends and family!

nbcarlson · January 2021

I won't be having one as this is our third. I had a very small one with my first and with my second my coworkers threw me a surprise shower that was bigger than with my first lol. We hardly need anything at all for this baby and what we do need we've pretty much already purchased.

My ideal shower would be no shower haha, I'm pretty introverted and showers make me so uncomfortable. I also hate the idea of people spending their money on my family.

GTKY 01/05

Re: GTKY 01/05

Choose Another Board

Search Boards