Paternity Leave

nsk489 · December 2020

Not sure if this has been discussed anywhere yet, but I'm just curious what your significant others get/are doing in regards to paternity leave?
My husband spoke to HR today and they said he gets 2 weeks paid paternity leave, but he can take (I believe) up to 12 weeks using a combo of sick days/vacation days, and unpaid time off. He has a lot of PTO left over from this year which he can roll into next year and use. His manager wants him to figure out sooner rather than later how much time he wants to take, so they can be prepared with divvying up his work.

How much time off did your SO take with your first child? For you STM/STM+, will he be taking more or less leave this time? Just trying to figure out what a "good" amount of time off is....he was thinking about a month. My parents will come for 1-2 weeks and my MIL for a month to help us out, anytime we want after baby is born

Liz101015 · December 2020

My husbands company does 6 weeks paid leave that you can take however you like within first year of event. With our son and my work timeline (teacher so got 12 weeks, 6 paid) he did 4 weeks at start and then the other two when I had to go baxk the last two weeks of June so that we didn't have to put our son into daycare till September.

gusgus14 · December 2020

With our first, my husband’s company had just eliminated unlimited PTO and I don’t think they were offering paternity leave at that time so he took 3 weeks off plus a week of half days but I think he split it up so he took some at the beginning of my leave and some at the end. That time he did a mix of paid time off and unpaid time off.

Now they offer 4 weeks at 50% and then once he returns to work for a certain amount of time he’ll get the other 50% back so this time he’ll max out the paternity leave starting from the day I deliver. We’ll have to put some of his year end bonus aside to make up for the temporary 50% pay cut.

nsk489 · December 2020

@Liz101015 did you guys feel like the 4 weeks in the beginning was "long enough" or do you wish he would have taken all 6 weeks in the beginning (if your maternity leave timeline/daycare wasn't an issue)?

nsk489 · December 2020

@gusgus14 wow, I've never heard of getting leave at 50% pay and then getting the other 50% back later!

gusgus14 · December 2020

@nsk489 me neither and I’m not thrilled about it! Thankfully he is getting a decent year end bonus that we can put aside but otherwise he’d probably have to use his paid vacation time instead!

ETA: I’m thankful they offer something but it’s hard when there are conditions on it that make it an unusable benefit for some people.

yellingbanana · December 2020

Wow. DH had 2 weeks off with our first. His company was bought out, and after that it has usually been between one or two weeks. But that was more out of necessity to continue doing some work because he has always been in sales. Gotta keep everything rolling!

ec1212 · December 2020

My hubby is in hospitality and since restos/bars just closed again for indoor service, he’s currently job hunting looking to go back into construction. I dont think he’ll get any leave unless he gets a union or city job. Luckily I have good leave and savings to get us started on childcare.

The state of NY also offers 6 weeks paid leave @ 60 or 70% of the state’s average wkly pay capped at a certain amount. So I have to see if that’s available to both parents as well and something he could take advantage of.

If I get offered this new job I would have more leave & options. After my leave ends, we’ll have to arrange childcare. 😕

nbcarlson · December 2020

My husband is a stay at home dad now but we were so broke with my son he only took 1 week off. With my daughter he was only working PT so he took two weeks and then went back but was working like 15 hours a week so it wasn't bad at all. My company offers parental leave or something like that for 4 weeks for either parent which seems great.

littlelibelula · December 2020

My husband had 3 days with my first, but he switched jobs this year, so I'm not sure if he gets three days or something else.

mrosek91 · December 2020

DH works for a tech startup, so he gets nothing. With my last one he was taking work calls from the hospital room when baby was a day old.
My mom always comes down to help us for a week or two when baby is born, and that's been a lifesaver.

ckmb_1250 · December 2020

My husband has a state job and gets 6 weeks off, I think a small portion of hours toward the end comes out of his PTO. I felt like 6 weeks was a pretty good amount of time last time, we had gotten through some initial hurdles and caught up on a little bit of sleep.

yellingbanana · December 2020

@ckmb_1250 wow that is impressive.

spartan4life · December 2020

My husband works for a small law firm so with our son he got two days off. Thankfully my mom was here for 2 weeks because that would have been rough otherwise. His bosses are terrible. He will hopefully be changing jobs before this baby comes so who knows but I would say 4 weeks would be great!

littlelibelula · December 2020

@spartan4life @mrosek91 When my mom heard I might be C-section she volunteered to come for a month. So the day I went in and they confirmed he was breech we called her and she came on the next flight. Complete blessing, because long paternity leave is not normal here. We were thinking of hiring someone for the month because there are so many restrictions with Csections. I would've probably overdid it without help.

Sadly, this time around that's not going to happen. Mom won't come visit us during summer, because she has too many responsibilities and community gardens to look after and covid restrictions will probably still make it difficult to travel freely in May/June.

Definitely interested in a " the month after" thread. Maybe I'll start one.

texas_t · December 2020

My husband gets to use his accrued sick time, which is a million hours bc he never takes sick days. So he takes 6 weeks off. I'd be fine if he only took 4 or 5, lol!

Liz101015 · December 2020

@nsk489 we felt four was a good time to adjust and set up a routine.

ckmb_1250 · December 2020

@yellingbanana it is great! But we also have zero family help so it’s also necessary for us.

mkc3888 · December 2020

My husbands work sucks for paternity leave. They basically treat it the same as vacation with the exception that he could take it on the spot and vacation required a request and notice. So he can only take off one week at a time; even if he has 4 weeks of vacation time. He’ll probably take off the first week and lat week of my maternity leave.

brynn_mamaof4 · December 2020

My fiancé owns a spinal technology medical device distributorship, so while he won’t truly be able to take off, he is going to try to get his colleagues to cover surgery cases for him as much as possible. He asked about maybe trying for a month but I told him really the first two weeks would be most helpful if he wants/needs to get back in the thick of things after that. But up to him!

My mom passed several years ago and my stepmom has offered every baby to come stay for a few weeks but I’ve never taken her up on the offer (kindly). I’m actually relieved I can tell people not to come stay and help because of COVID lol. I’m just the type who gets more stressed out having “guests” even if they are helpful. I want to do it myself. I’ve been a single mom raising my three kiddos for about 7 years now (fiancé and I haven’t moved in together yet but just bought and closed on a home.. thinking it will be March or so before we are moved in).... so maybe I’m just stubborn, but I want to be left alone 😂

asf0613 · December 2020

i've been on DH for a month to ask HR what their policy is. i think its 2 weeks? he also has some extra PTO rolling from this year but i would almost have him wait to use that rolled time until i go back to work just to ease the transition better.

luckily my mom and MIL are both willing and able to help with childcare. ill take my 12 weeks (even though only 9 are paid with maternity pay and my accrued vaca time) but thankful i have all that!

mkc3888 · December 2020

@asf0613 I think I'll have around 8 weeks paid between sick time and pto. I think I'll ask them to just pay me 32 hours/week to stretch it out and maybe take 10-12 weeks. I haven't talked to HR about it yet. I guess I'll ask when I get my fmla paperwork

brynn_mamaof4 · December 2020

I don’t even know what I’m going to do for my “maternity leave”. I own my company, and have multiple clients I work with.. I’ve tried to drop some of my more annoying clients and restructure a bit but I still have clients that depend on me weekly. I don’t know how I’m going to just drop them for 8 weeks and expect them to stay with me after... I have some employees but they more or less assist me, they can’t do what I do.

im trying not to think about it right now but I know I have to figure it out. I’m thinking of taking advice on a previous form here and saying I am having a medical procedure and need two weeks off. Then, I’ll just slowly ease back in to fitting in work when I can.

Thinking about only having 2 weeks off makes my brain want to explode but Atleast I work from a home office so I’ll still be here with babygirl.

ec1212 · December 2020

@brynn_mamaof4 is it possible in the time you have before you're due to train a trusted employee to take on some of your work? Long-term, would your business be able to make more money (or handle more large clients at once) if you had more people to do what you do and free you up to oversee some tasks instead of having to do them all yourself? I used to own a biz myself, and was/am still a partner in another one, so I ask from a place of having to make those calls in the past.

I hate the thought of any mama only having 2 weeks off, too!

mimser · December 2020

My fiancé gets 5 weeks paid at 70% of salary. He can take them anytime after the birth, but before baby's first birthday. In theory they should be taken all at the same time, but usually you can arrange with your employer to split it. I think he will take 1-2 weeks at birth and will take the rest in the summer before or after constructions Holiday (2 last weeks of July) here, which would give him a total of 5-6 weeks then.

I get 18 weeks of maternity leave and we get an extra 32 weeks of parental leave that either one parent takes or can be shared, but I think I'll take the entire amount of weeks and won't share...! So I should be off for minimum 51 weeks as my first week off will be a vacation week.

brynn_mamaof4 · December 2020

@mimser wow that is so amazing!! That’s an incredible amount of time.

@ec1212 I have done that in the past but no one is me... you know? I work in a super small niche and have a lot of experience doing it. I do have a very good friend who left the company I was COO at prior to starting my own company at the same time, and she started doing what I do too. So, technically she is a competitor but our niche is so small there’s plenty of clients to go around so we actually share resources sometimes. She said she would help me out where she has time but I’ll still be left with a handful of clients.... I’ll work it out!

I really have no want to grow bigger because I’m super happy where I’m at and how I’ve structured it. I did this before with a larger company and I’m just so over those days haha. Very happy to call my own shots, you know? But I have been working on restructuring and focusing in order to do as much little work as possible and make the most money 😂 I’ve got a bit of time to work it out... I think..

I am working on a side project/business idea (not B2B) and I’m super excited about where it’s going so I’d love to finish my demos before baby arrives so I can spend a little of my “downtown” on getting that officially running! 🤪

gusgus14 · December 2020

I’ll add my maternity leave details:

My company doesn’t have a maternity leave benefit. The best we get is short term disability (6 weeks paid at 60% up to $500/week which for me is a pretty sizeable pay cut that we can’t afford plus 6 weeks unpaid). With my first I used up all my PTO for the entire year to take leave and was off 6 weeks plus worked fully remote for 4 weeks. The 4 weeks of remote work my mom watched DD a few days/week and then I had her the other days while I worked which was not ideal because she was a very needy newborn

She started daycare at 12 weeks.

This time, I decided to ask the company President (who is my direct boss) for 100% paid maternity leave and we’ve worked out an arrangement. I plan on taking 8 weeks plus working remotely for 4 weeks again (which I’m already doing now but not sure what the covid situation will be this summer). Hoping DH will still be working remotely or can work remotely those 4 weeks at the end so we can tag team and then we’ll put the boys in daycare starting at 12 weeks.

mimser · December 2020

@brynn_mamaof4 yes we are lucky we get so much! The first 18 weeks are paid 70% of your salary and the extra 32 weeks is 55% though.

ckmb_1250 · December 2020

@mimser Canada does it right 👏🏻

nsk489 · December 2020

@mimser that is amazing!
@gusgus14 glad you were able to work out a better leave with your boss this time around! I left my job in February when we moved cross country, but at my previous job we didnt have maternity leave (only STD so same as you, up to 6 weeks paid at some crazy low wage). I am thankful that our current situation will allow me to be a SAHM because I can't bear the thought of putting my baby in daycare so young 😭 hugs to all you mamas that have to leave your little ones

nbcarlson · December 2020

@mimser that is an amazing amount of time. I would still be screwed because we rely solely on my income so 55% would be a mess.

I get 6-8 weeks of short term disability paid 100% (I get the 8 because of c-section) plus my company offers 4 weeks of parental leave at 100% pay so I get a total of 12 weeks. It was just the 8 with my prior 2 so I'm excited it's 12 now. I'll probably also take an extra week or two of my vacation.

lilnessi · December 2020

@mimser thats awesome!

My husband gets 2 weeks and he has unlimited vacation days. Im trying to convince him to at least take another 2 weeks, but he feels like he is taking advantage.

ckmb_1250 · December 2020

@lilnessi I’ve heard a lot of companies doing unlimited vacation, but it seems like it’s just a guilt trip in disguise. I hope he can feel comfortable taking the time he needs!

lilnessi · December 2020

@ckmb_1250 i agree, and this is something new for his company, I think they mainly did it because they don't want to pay people out their vacation days when they leave.

caroduke · December 2020

@mimser yup, we're pretty lucky in Canada and my employer is especially awesome... We get topped up to 95% for the first full year. Any thoughts on the extended 18month leave? I was thinking it may be a good way to get some leave for hubby as well but not have to give him any of my year, but am not sure about how this affects the ei payments...

mimser · December 2020

@caroduke That's a great employer program! I know the program is changing a little in Quebec as of January 1st. I have to look a bit more into it to see if it would be worth it to increasemy fiance'sleave a little, but I really want the full year off, so I'll have to see...

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