Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
nsk489
member
Re: Paternity Leave
ETA: I’m thankful they offer something but it’s hard when there are conditions on it that make it an unusable benefit for some people.
My mom always comes down to help us for a week or two when baby is born, and that's been a lifesaver.
Sadly, this time around that's not going to happen. Mom won't come visit us during summer, because she has too many responsibilities and community gardens to look after and covid restrictions will probably still make it difficult to travel freely in May/June.
Definitely interested in a " the month after" thread. Maybe I'll start one.
*Rainbow 8/2015*
*Expected Rainbows 12/2018*
*Loss of Twin 5/2018*
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
luckily my mom and MIL are both willing and able to help with childcare. ill take my 12 weeks (even though only 9 are paid with maternity pay and my accrued vaca time) but thankful i have all that!
BFP #1 January 28, 2016
Felicity Joy, born September 2, 2016
My Chart
BFP #2 September 11, 2020
EDD May 23, 2021
im trying not to think about it right now but I know I have to figure it out. I’m thinking of taking advice on a previous form here and saying I am having a medical procedure and need two weeks off. Then, I’ll just slowly ease back in to fitting in work when I can.
I get 18 weeks of maternity leave and we get an extra 32 weeks of parental leave that either one parent takes or can be shared, but I think I'll take the entire amount of weeks and won't share...! So I should be off for minimum 51 weeks as my first week off will be a vacation week.
I am working on a side project/business idea (not B2B) and I’m super excited about where it’s going so I’d love to finish my demos before baby arrives so I can spend a little of my “downtown” on getting that officially running! 🤪
My company doesn’t have a maternity leave benefit. The best we get is short term disability (6 weeks paid at 60% up to $500/week which for me is a pretty sizeable pay cut that we can’t afford plus 6 weeks unpaid). With my first I used up all my PTO for the entire year to take leave and was off 6 weeks plus worked fully remote for 4 weeks. The 4 weeks of remote work my mom watched DD a few days/week and then I had her the other days while I worked which was not ideal because she was a very needy newborn
This time, I decided to ask the company President (who is my direct boss) for 100% paid maternity leave and we’ve worked out an arrangement. I plan on taking 8 weeks plus working remotely for 4 weeks again (which I’m already doing now but not sure what the covid situation will be this summer). Hoping DH will still be working remotely or can work remotely those 4 weeks at the end so we can tag team and then we’ll put the boys in daycare starting at 12 weeks.
@gusgus14 glad you were able to work out a better leave with your boss this time around! I left my job in February when we moved cross country, but at my previous job we didnt have maternity leave (only STD so same as you, up to 6 weeks paid at some crazy low wage). I am thankful that our current situation will allow me to be a SAHM because I can't bear the thought of putting my baby in daycare so young 😭 hugs to all you mamas that have to leave your little ones
I get 6-8 weeks of short term disability paid 100% (I get the 8 because of c-section) plus my company offers 4 weeks of parental leave at 100% pay so I get a total of 12 weeks. It was just the 8 with my prior 2 so I'm excited it's 12 now. I'll probably also take an extra week or two of my vacation.
My husband gets 2 weeks and he has unlimited vacation days. Im trying to convince him to at least take another 2 weeks, but he feels like he is taking advantage.