TW loss

lizalovespasha · November 2020

Our 10 week scan yesterday revealed some bad news. One of the babies had stopped growing and there was no heartbeat. We were devastated. It died sometime last week, at 9 weeks. DH tried to warn me about "vanishing twin syndrome," but I didn't believe it could happen.

It's the weirdest thing. I had a miscarriage, but I'm still pregnant. Has anyone else experienced this?

I know I should be grateful someone is still alive in there, and I am. But I just feel so grieved right now.

artsiefartsie · November 2020

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss. You "shouldn't" be anything, a loss is a loss. Let yourself fully grieve that loss. Please be kind to yourself. ❤❤

Lisa3379 · November 2020

I’m so sorry to hear this. I agree with @artsiefartsie - you are justified in feeling every emotion you’re feeling right now. Sending love.

wendy838 · November 2020

@lizalovespasha sorry for your loss. You have every right to feel the way you feel.

akoros · November 2020

I'm so sorry. It's totally ok (and normal) to take time to grieve. Yes, you have another baby in there, but it's still a loss. Take your time, and be kind to yourself.

_orchid_ · November 2020

I'm so sorry. A loss is a loss, and your feeling are perfectly valid. I hope you have some support and are able to take the time you need to heal.

DoubleUp8 · November 2020

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope DH and you can take some time to heal and that you other little one does has a boring and healthy 7 more months.

mindyb2019 · November 2020

Oh no. Awww im so sorry for your loss. Your Feelings are totally valid and normal. Take some time to heal and grieve. Sending you love and hugs ❤

mamakate2011 · November 2020

Oh I'm so very sorry you lost one of your babies!! You are entitled to feel any way you want to feel right now. You’re right - it must be a very strange feeling to have a loss, but still be pregnant. I’m sure it’s a mix of devastation and gratefulness all at the same time. I’m so, so sorry you’re going through this!

asf0613 · November 2020

lurking
@lizalovespasha so very sorry to hear of your loss. it is still a significant loss and i hope you allow yourself time to heal

ruemcclanahan · November 2020

I am so so so sorry for your loss ❤️

angelz429 · November 2020

I’m so sorry ☹️

ashaislurking · November 2020

I'm very sorry for your loss. A loss is a loss, even if you're still pregnant, and all your feelings are completely valid. Sending you so much love! Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

kristah2 · November 2020

So sorry for your loss. I echo others, even though you’re still pregnant doesn’t mean you don’t get to grieve the other. Sending love and take care of yourself.

MelissaMay82 · November 2020

I’m so sorry

tilournextadventure · November 2020

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and take a moment to grieve the loss. A loss is a loss even if you are pregnant with the other baby.

klj0228 · November 2020

I’m so sorry for your loss. Even still being pregnant you did experience a loss and it is okay to feel however you feel about it. Give yourself time to grieve.

disgruntled_pelican · November 2020

I’m so sorry for your loss, this happened to my mom when she was pregnant with my sister and another sibling. My mom said something similar as you did - she miscarried, but was pregnant. It’s definitely a hard thing to wrap your mind and heart around. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

laurad75 · November 2020

I'm really sorry. I have seen other situations like this on the board but like other's have said, a loss is a loss. You do need to grieve this loss while taking care of yourself for the baby that is thriving. xo

lizalovespasha · November 2020

Thank you. I was kind of looking forward to them growing up together and being friends. I will carry the deceased one with me till birth, and some of it will be "reabsorbed" into my body. Which is bizarre but oddly comforting. I hope the other one makes it. Thank you all so much for the love and support. ❤❤

wanderlustsoul · November 2020

I’m so sorry. Sending you so many hugs.

mrs_massie · November 2020

I'm late to this thread because we were on a family vactaion, but I'm so sorry for your loss

I found out early on we are expecting twins and I am 11 weeks today. What your going through is a consistent fear of mine and I'm so sorry it has become your reality.

sgrn18 · November 2020

I am so sorry for your loss 😢

dogmom5 · November 2020

so sorry for your loss 😢

texas_t · November 2020

*lurking from May 21*

@lizalovespasha My last pregnancy (due Dec 18) was a twin pregnancy. At 11 weeks I started bleeding and we found out we lost a baby after our 8 week ultrasound. It's very strange, like you said. You're so grateful one baby is well, but so so sad the other isn't. I would be ok some days and not the other. I bled for an entire month, which was so stressful because it made me worry so much for the surviving baby. That being said, risk went down significantly for the surviving baby once we lost one, so the doctor told me try to focus on that. We ended up with a healthy screaming little baby boy in Nov of 2018. His sibling definitely still crosses my mind and when I see others with twins, I get a twinge of sadness. A loss is a loss and it's ok to grieve it. Love and hugs.

mrs_massie · November 2020

@lizalovespasha did you have any symptoms like cramping or bleeding? I go for a scan tomorrow at 12+4 and it will have been a month since my last appointment and I'm really nervous I'm going to get bad news about one of the babies.

lizalovespasha · December 2020

@texas_t thank you much for sharing. I don't know what other people's experiences are like so it's so important to reach out and connect. I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad your baby boy survived. Do you know if the sibling was a boy or a girl, or did you get any closure about what happened? Do you talk to your son about it, or thinking of doing so when he gets older?

Someone told me today "so your surviving one will have a guardian angel." I found that very comforting. I did not know how to tell this child s/he's a twin. Also, I realized I can still choose two names. I can still tell people I'm having twins, because I am. I hope to have genetic testing on the deceased one to see the gender and if it had chromosomal problems. I don't want to pretend it never existed.

lizalovespasha · December 2020

@mrs_massie I hope all goes well. Your chances are good because the chance of a loss decreases with time and you're almost done w the first trimester. No, I had no idea it even happened. So different from my first miscarriage, which was... you know. Horrific. I am 12w4d today and have a scan on Friday. I'll let you know.

texas_t · December 2020

@lizalovespasha Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. My youngest only just turned two, so we haven't talked about it. I'm not sure if and when I will. I just know that the loss felt like it left a hole in our family and I'm currently 17 weeks pregnant (with my 3rd boy! Lol) and I feel like this will complete us. To be 100% honest, I don't know if I've ever let myself fully grieve the loss of his twin. I'm just kind of winging it based on my feelings. Sorry, I know that's probably not helpful at all!

We were never given a reason for the loss and I didn't pursue anything bc it is so common. You should do what you feel best for you, though. Praying for the health of your surviving baby and comfort for your loss.

Last thing: my dad passed away in 2017 and my mom is still here with us, so a friend of mine told me one baby is in Heaven with my dad and one is here with us and my mom. It was definitely a comfort.

@mrs_massie I know you're concerned about you're pregnancy and you're completely validated in that, but you may want to consider gaining your reassurance from others and not someone going through a loss

lizalovespasha · December 2020

@texas_t Oh there's no right or wrong answer here. Talking to someone else who's been through it is extremely helpful. Yeah, grief is hard, and it's a process that can take years. You can put it off if that's what you need to do for now to make it through. I'm really happy you ended up w 3 boys and a feeling of a complete family! Love and hugs.

texas_t · December 2020

@lizalovespasha fee free to message me anytime you need to talk 💙

mrs_massie · December 2020

TW loss.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
12+4 today and went for my NT scan. Baby B had no heartbeat and stopped growing last week. @lizalovespasha My heart hurt for you when you announced your loss and now my heart hurts with you. How are you feeling since some time has passed?

DoubleUp8 · December 2020

@mrs_massie I am so sorry for your loss.

mindyb2019 · December 2020

@mrs_massie I'm so very sorry for your loss ❤

MelissaMay82 · December 2020

@mrs_massie I’m so sorry for your loss.

wendy838 · December 2020

@mrs_massie oh no, I was thinking of you since you voiced some concerns last week. so sorry for your loss

my heart hurts for both of you

tilournextadventure · December 2020

@mrs_massie so very sorry to hear of your loss. Sending virtual hugs to you and family ❤️❤️

ashaislurking · December 2020

@mrs_massie So very sorry for your loss as well. It's a unique position to be in and I hope you can find some comfort here. Sending you lots of light.

_orchid_ · December 2020

@mrs_massie I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you ♥️

legallykate · December 2020

@lizalovespasha and @mrs_massie I am so sorry for both of your losses. I can't imagine all the mixed feelings you must have, but I hope you are able to find some comfort and I wish you both the very best for the rest of your pregnancies.

ramzlau · December 2020

@mrs_massie and @lizalovespasha Sorry that you both are going through such an emotionally challenging time. It is such a hard loss. Hope you both find comfort and joy in your pregnancies.

Want a personalized experience?

TW loss

Re: TW loss

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

*TW* loss

Re: *TW* loss

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

TW loss

Re: TW loss