Take it easy

lizalovespasha · October 2020

Wow, I can't believe you chose to take offense at that! Totally the opposite of my intention. But, since stress is bad for pregnancy, I wont stress about this either. That's what I'm saying- in every situation, you have a choice. Good luck with powering through it all!

Plus, maybe we mean two different things by "fatigue." I mean, getting out of bed to pee is a major challenge. If I had an out-of-home job, i would have to call in sick. Not want to, have to. Maybe sth is medically wrong if I'm this drained?

harpseal135 · October 2020

lizalovespasha said:

Probably everyone here is experiencing fatigue to one degree or another. Maybe it's because I'm old and I've got twins, or maybe it's just being pregnant that does this to you, but I'm feeling very zapped. I've found it tremendously helpful to give myself complete compassion, complete leeway. Usually I am obsessed with being productive and multitasking constantly. But now, I let myself rest as much as my body demands. I choose not to feel guilty, even when I lie on the couch all day. I choose to rest, sleep and relax as much as I feel I need, and not think about the long list of things I could or should be doing.

I just want to encourage everyone to be kind to yourselves. I am very blessed bc DH works full time w great benefits, so I can freelance a little or not work at all. But even if you have to be up and out the door and meeting deadlines at the office all day, you can still be kind and compassionate to yourself by deciding to just go as slow as you need to, focus on one task, one moment at a time, if something slips through the cracks, just don't worry about it. If boss and coworkers ask you to take on something new, you can respectfully decline without guilt. You are the first priority.

If I manage to do the dishes or some laundry - hooray! If not, it can wait. This is my first time being pregnant, and I am going to enjoy it as much as possible. Let go of anxiety. Love YOURSELF too, don't forget

Cool story bro!

You are blessed to have a luxury lifestyle of a husband with great benefits. Where you can stay home and freelance and oh well laundry can wait until tomorrow.

You know how many woman would love to be in your position? Honestly this is an aweful post.

In reality, you font take on that extra project at school - you are toast. You don't meet a deadline because you decide to take it "slow and easy" guess what you get reprimanded or it looks bad on you. If something slips through the cracks it could mean loosing your livelihood.

Your lifestyle is not a reality for most of us. Feel blessed and honestly this post is pretty offensive.

Do women need to take care of themselves during pregnancy, yes, but millions of women push through and manage. They throw up at their desks at work, they go to work eith pregnancy related migrains, they need to take care of family, they go to work and push through it, because its their means of survival!!!!!

capnjackharkness · October 2020

@lizalovespasha You keep posting things on the First Trimester Board. Many of these things would resonate better with your BMB, where you'll find women at similar stages of their PGs. If you really want to try and connect and support others during their PGs, I suggest you go join in your BMB.

paytonpedro · October 2020

Thanks for the quote @harpseal135 nothing worse than a dd.

@lizalovespasha per your updated edit after your dd, perhaps you have low iron. I felt similarly in my pregnancies, but usually not until later on, and an iron supplement helped a lot.

Also just for future reference, woe is me posts generally don’t go over well on this board, because well, no one knows you and everyone is dealing with their own lives. I also recommend connecting with your bmb and joining in there. Like @harpseal135 said, you're very lucky to have the life you live and not everyone can be so lax. Good luck.

lizalovespasha · October 2020

This isn't a woe is me post, I was trying to share an insight. Let me try again. It's called self compassion. Its part of mindfulness. It can be practiced in any situation, including yours. I can't do much right now. I haven't been able to work, exercise or function at all since being pregnant. Instead of feeling bad, guilty and worried about that as I normally would, I actively choose not to. And that has made a world of difference. The point is, we can't control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them.

I'm sorry I mentioned not having to work. Apparently that was a major faux pas. I've always been socially awkward.

There was a medical problem, btw. Besides AMA and twins, my thyroid is messed up again. No wonder I'm lethargic.

I genuinely wish you all the best in your lives and your pregnancies. I was trying to encourage, not offend.

meggyme · October 2020

lizalovespasha said:

Wow, I can't believe you chose to take offense at that! Totally the opposite of my intention. But, since stress is bad for pregnancy, I wont stress about this either. That's what I'm saying- in every situation, you have a choice. Good luck with powering through it all!

Plus, maybe we mean two different things by "fatigue." I mean, getting out of bed to pee is a major challenge. If I had an out-of-home job, i would have to call in sick. Not want to, have to. Maybe sth is medically wrong if I'm this drained?

lizalovespasha said:

This isn't a woe is me post, I was trying to share an insight. Let me try again. It's called self compassion. Its part of mindfulness. It can be practiced in any situation, including yours. I can't do much right now. I haven't been able to work, exercise or function at all since being pregnant. Instead of feeling bad, guilty and worried about that as I normally would, I actively choose not to. And that has made a world of difference. The point is, we can't control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them.

I'm sorry I mentioned not having to work. Apparently that was a major faux pas. I've always been socially awkward.

There was a medical problem, btw. Besides AMA and twins, my thyroid is messed up again. No wonder I'm lethargic.

I genuinely wish you all the best in your lives and your pregnancies. I was trying to encourage, not offend.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2020

You have twins and this is your first pregnancy? I'm assuming they're your husband's kids from a previous marriage or relationship?

I usually don't say stuff like this but your post is so self-congratulatory I can't help myself... wait until you hit third trimester. Shit gets ROUGH. I sent diapers to myself at my office because I was incontinent those last 4 weeks and Depends weren't working at that point. It was super fun explaining that to the secretary who opened the package. I fell asleep - like dead asleep with drool running down my chin - all day, everywhere, even in front of my boss at a meeting. Because I worked until I went into labor.

Enjoy your luxurious pregnancy and have your rich husband pay for your weekly prenatal massages.

swizzlemalarkey · October 2020

@wishiwaspreggo she’s pregnant with twins.

@lizalovespasha I wish it was that easy to just relax and not worry about how the bills are going to get paid. What a world it would have been if my husband could solely pay for everything and I didn’t have to work 40+ hours a week on my feet all day. This is why your post came off as self-absorbed and offensive. hopefully you get your thyroid issues resolved because it’s only going to get harder from here especially with two babies. Best of luck.

harpseal135 · October 2020

Sorry, but yes it was woe is me. Guess what when I was pregnant I was working at a private golf club. Another server was pregnant at the same time. We went through it, we lifted furniture, we carried 8 tops, we were exhausted and we did it, because we needed to survive. She worked a 10 hour day, went home and gave birth 5 hours later (she literally labored for an hour). I was forced to stop working at 7.5 months, due to doctor threatening bed rest. I listened.

For many its suck it up or sink. Im Sorry your thyroid is acting up again. It can not be fun and I do feel for you, but be blessed that you don't have to have your livelihood on the line to take care of yourself.

"can't do much right now. I haven't been able to work, exercise or function at all since being pregnant. Instead of feeling bad, guilty and worried about that as I normally would, I actively choose not to. And that has made a world of difference. The point is, we can't control our circumstances, but we can control how we react to them."

Guess what? Again this is part of your "luxury," lifestyle - you don't have to work. You have that opportunity to actively chose not to worry. And no we all can not control how we react to them. If we could life would be a lot less stressful for everyone.

I bet if your husband had the same care free attitude as you that he may not have the job that does allow you to not work when you don't feel like it? Correct? Wouldn't he get fired for not meeting deadlines? Would he not get in trouble if he just decided to take it easy that day? His lack of work shows? Then again I don't know what his job it, but knowing that 99% of jobs wouldn't accept that behaviors.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2020

@greyl ahahahahhaha even better

I had twins and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan she's gonna get spanked at 20 weeks and beyond. Third trimester is twice as hard with twice the babies.

And if she's a SAHM with twin toddlers? Goooooooooooooood luck. I am so glad I work outside the home so I can get a break from the absolute mayhem they cause.

BuckeyeNut05 · October 2020

@wishiwaspreggo as a fellow twin mom, +1 for all of those thoughts. And like @harpseal135 said, I drug my butt to work threw up in the work bathroom (delightful) about 10 times a day, every day for 10 weeks because I had to.

wishiwaspreggo · October 2020

@BuckeyeNut05 - I went to work right up until labor with my twins. You do what you have to do. I was at a work dinner the night before I had my c section (I was having irregular contractions at that point but didn't think much of it since they weren't too strong). My boss's wife saw my horrendously swollen legs, grabbed my ankles, and hoisted them on to a cushioned seat. I cried out because it was unexpected and god knows you can't bend when you're that big lol... she blames herself for causing my labor

ah, good times.

It's a good thing twin toddlers are so cute - they are chaos incarnate.

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