Weekly Randoms 9/28/20

fitzfizz · September 2020

What's on your mind?

fitzfizz · September 2020

Since things were mostly dead here over the weekend and I was bored, I decided to lurk on another TTC board (I'm not sure if mentioning the name would be against rules?). If you are interested in 1000 repetitive one-off posts, have I got the place for you! There were two interesting things that I noticed that I wanted to bring up over here for discussion if anyone else is bored as well.

I only glanced through about a week of posts, but there were numerous questions asked about poster's partners having performance anxiety to the point that they are not able to try during FW. To the point that many couples are using at home artificial insemination kits. This doesn't seem to get brought up here, so that was interesting to me. I am also now a little scared that my obsessing about TTC will give MH performance anxiety haha.

The other thing was that one poster told a story about how she had met her new RE after COVID restrictions started, so she commented that this man has seen her interiors numerous times, but never seen her face. It made me realize there are dozens of women out there whose cervix I have seen, but not their face. Weird realization.

ashaislurking · September 2020

@fitzfizz MH definitely has performance anxiety which is why I don't necessarily keep him in the loop about when my FW is, just letting him know when I want to HIO is enough that he knows what we're doing and why but not enough to cause him to have issues.

TB is being majorly glitchy lately. I couldn't make the siggy poll this morning and TB made loads of duplicate threads so the siggy poll looks a bit different and now there are several rando posts with "failed to load poll" at the bottom! LMAO. It's definitely Monday.

chindimples04 · September 2020

@ashaislurking it’s been super glitchy for me too. I have learned that if I get an error message, it probably posted. 🤣 Super frustrating though!

ashaislurking · September 2020

@chindimples04 The poll wouldn't post, even when the error message popped up. Super weird.

emeraldcity1214 · September 2020

@fitzfizz My DH has anxiety pretty bad and definitely gets performance anxiety. The way I work around that is we both agree to have as much PNV (😂) as possible and I keep everything about my cycle a secret. I don’t even tell him I’m on my period. I just start casually initiating after AF leaves. We haven’t had any issues doing it that way. It is definitely a thing though.

ashaislurking · September 2020

@emeraldcity1214 That's pretty much what we do too. He knows I track my own cycles but I don't share my charting info with him. As long as he's not actively thinking about performing for the sake of baby making he's fine.

claire_nicole · September 2020

@fitzfizz I’m stunned. I have never even heard of an at home insemination kit!! I mean we’ve made turkey baster jokes before but oh man!!! Serious good thoughts go out to those ladies!

My husband has no anxiety about anything. He thinks if it happens it happens and if it doesn’t it doesn’t. I mean he is 100% on board and wants a baby but generally rolls his eyes at any stress I have about it!

daisy528 · September 2020

Thankfully, MH doesn't have performance anxiety issues, though I could see him developing them if we ever struggle to TTC. That definitely makes sense, because I am sure at some point the guy starts thinking "crap, is it me??" Super interesting...

@fitzfizz I also like lurking on other TTC boards. I was active on one that sort of imploded a while back, but I still will visit it from time to time. It is rather dead now, so that's why I decided to hop back on TB!

krash_ · September 2020

Who was it that figured out how to override your ovulation in FF? How do you do it?

fitzfizz · September 2020

@krash_ it was @chindimples04

jackie_dunny · September 2020

*lurking*

@krash_ go to the three lines in the upper right corner. Select settings. Third option down - detector/override settings. Change detector to manual. Voila.

chindimples04 · September 2020

@krash_ yep, it was me! Everything @jackie_dunny said. It is going to ask you for a cover line temp. I just guesstimated based on a majority of my temps and my previous cycles. There are quite a few other detector models, too. You probably have it on advanced now but there is also OPK, FAM, and Research.

And846 · September 2020

Interesting topics. My DH knows I track but doesn’t want the information and minute details since it is still early on TTC, just HIO. I did have to educate him that there is only a 24hr or less timeframe which my egg is “viable” - he thought you can get KU anytime during the month. 🤦🏼‍♀️

krash_ · September 2020

@jackie_dunny @chindimples04 thanks ladies! Got it!

[Deleted User] · September 2020

**lurking**
I have seen a small handful of ladies do that type of at home insemination stuff.

One was specifically doing iuis at home with a midwife and frozen sperm. Like literally had purchased very fancy cryo tanks for her husband's samples, but I can't remember why. I think he was taking hrt that was going to diminish his sperm count, so they got a bunch of good samples from him prior to starting treatment. I have seen others using menstrual cups to try to keep the semen in place, but that's maybe not quite the same. We've had at least one same sex couple doing at home insemination from their donor. But I don't know that "normal" performance anxiety of an otherwise healthy hetero couple would be reason enough to go to all that trouble...

emeraldcity1214 · September 2020

I feel like using a menstrual cup to keep the sperm in is counterintuitive. The cup creates soooo much suction. The sperm is going to have to swim against that suction. I feel like it puts up another obstacle for the sperm. I know it is popular in another TTC group I’m in but I’m still skeptical about whether it hurts or helps the sperm.

akoros · September 2020

We've talked about the logistics of how this works (i.e. need to aim for a specific time of the month), but beyond that I usually don't mention much to my husband unless he asks. I want to keep the pressure off for both of us, and try and keep sex as primarily about intimacy between the two of us. That said, he has learned to look for signs, like the OPK strips in the trash can, so usually I don't really even need to mention it. I was kind of shocked the first time I realized that he knew my cycle without me telling him.

Kenneylynn3 · September 2020

🙋 same sex couple here. We didn't buy a fancy at home insemination kit. We use fresh sperm from a known donor with a syringe and a menstrual cup.

legendairymomma · September 2020

Seperating the tww and wto gives me massive fomo. Then I lurk among the other to feel in the look. Then I feel guilty about spending so much time on my phone.

daisy528 · September 2020

@legendairymomma I agree! And I feel like WTO is always so much more busy when I am in the TWW, and vice a versa!

chindimples04 · October 2020

Let us be warned that tonight is a full moon. 🤪 Tea party, anyone? 🤣

legendairymomma · October 2020

@chindimples04 UO: I friggin LOVE the full moon

MrsBlindLove · October 2020

@claire_nicole

MH is the same, he will listen to my feelings of stress or sadness but doesn't get it. He’s just like either it happens or it doesn't.

chindimples04 · October 2020

*TW*

My sister in law announced to us today that they are expecting again, our nephew is only 13 months and she’s already 10 weeks. I tried really hard to be excited but I think my pain was very obvious. I’m now crying on our drive home.

keikilove · October 2020

@chindimples04 I’m sorry.😥 It is so hard to get that kind of news. I hope you will feel better soon.

mindyb2019 · October 2020

@chindimples04 aww im so sorry girl 😢 That's tough to hear that kind of news from family. Sending you lots of hugs today ❤

mindyb2019 · October 2020

*TW*

I just found out that one of my co workers that works in another department is pregnant. Shes 10 weeks. Shes only like 27 or 28 and her and her BF weren't planning this at all. In fact she told me that they even used a condom, it broke and so she took the morning after pill as well and she still ended up pregnant. 😳😕 Thats crazy! I'm happy for her but it's kinda hard not to be sad, jealous and envious especially after all she went through to avoid pregnancy and it still happens for her. 🤷‍♀️

chindimples04 · October 2020

@mindyb2019 fucking full moon hitting it different this time! I’m so sorry! All your feelings are 100000% valid! And your even one step further than me. I’m not quite happy for SIL yet. 🤣

mindyb2019 · October 2020

@chindimples04 DAMN full moon!! Its not much of a further step then you 😆 Im happy for her but not a whole lot LOL

chindimples04 · October 2020

@mindyb2019 sending you *hugs*.

fitzfizz · October 2020

@chindimples04 and @mindyb2019

My SIL announced at 5 weeks so I have had more time to process, but she is also 10 weeks now. I’m with dimples though, I’m not quite ready to be happy yet. Might feel more inclined if my brother didn’t keep calling and asking for medical advice about pregnancy 🙄

keikilove · October 2020

@fitzfizz Oh my gawd. That is awful. I think I’d have to say something to my brother to get him to stop that. Sorry.

@mindyb2019 I’m so sorry! These announcements are so dang hard to stomach.

I’m being bombarded right now on social media. Several friends are having their second (or third!) in the time that I’ve had none. I’m unfollowing people like crazy lately.

mindyb2019 · October 2020

@keikilove im so sorry that you have to see all those on social media. Hugs friend. I dont blame you for unfollowing them.

chindimples04 · October 2020

@keikilove I’ve done a lot of unfollowing, too. Basically anyone within child rearing age. 🤣 Sending you virtual hugs, too!

krash_ · October 2020

Seriously the last few months it feels like almost daily someone on SM is announcing.

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