Trying to Get Pregnant

Weekly Randoms w/o 9.21

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Re: Weekly Randoms w/o 9.21

  • When I was posting the grad thread, this wording caught my eye. I thought this was kind of weird. Anyone know the reasoning behind this? I feel like most of the rules that seem odd have a reason so was just curious!

    This thread has mild restrictions - thread is primarily BFP announcements but doesn't allow for direct questions or lengthy/personalized congrats in the comments. Use the "Love It" button or "congrats!", "H&H 9 months!", "I was hoping this was your month!" and other short & sweet notes. . 
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  • @bows22 Yeah, I wondered about that as well. It seems like most of the rules have an intention of not trying to offend anyone or rub things in for people who are struggling. I can’t see how a personalized congratulations message would be offensive. But obviously I have not been here long enough to know if there was a reason, so I’m curious to hear from people who know. 
  • bows22bows22 member
    edited September 2020
    I found this thread (because I’m not really eager for the weekend to end and start working) but it doesn’t really clear it up for me. It seems like originally you weren’t even supposed to comment “congrats!” but that stemmed from when BFPs were in the TWW and it made the threads too long. People wanted to be able to congratulate their friends which makes total sense but I wonder what constitutes a lengthy post and why that is bad. 

  • @bows22 Well, That was an interesting read! I’d always wondered where the endless rules for the Grad thread came from. It seems like the group determined to keep comments & questions to the grad short & sweet because they used to post BFPs in the TWW dailies. And then the numerous comments & questions would clutter up that day’s TWW pages? Anyway, I’d love if the Grad thread was more “congratulatory” and less rules-y. Of course, we still don’t want to see lurkers & brand newbies posting there, but it’s so.many.rules before you even get to the point where the person can copy/paste the details of their happy news. (Confession: I added in the word “CONGRATULATIONS!” that is currently in the Grad thread description just because it felt so sterile without at least that.) 
  • @bows22 Yeah, I think it's because there are so many who have been trying for so long that it will be tough reading all those lengthy posts? But yes, @keikilove, I think the grads thread should be congratulatory rather than rules-y. Even though many have been trying for a while and might feel a sting when someone gets to the grad thread, it's also a happy time for the person who makes it there and many would want to congratulate them even through the jealousy. Let's face it, we're all jealous when someone gets there! But also happy for them.
  • @capnjackharkness I appreciate that background info. Personally I'm excited when anyone graduates but I'm WAY more excited even someone from the IF/AL threads graduates. Yeah we're all on the same journey, but it's different at that point. I can understand how some people may be all upset that we don't roll out a GIANT red carpet for everyone who moves on from TTGP, but there are simply some times when more people are going to want to join in congratulating someone on their BFP. 
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


  • bows22bows22 member
    edited September 2020
    @babyfeverbeliever that’s true, I guess I can see how it could hurt to see people gushing over everyone. But I‘m thinking more that there are people who have graduated that have been here for a long time and have become my very close friends and just saying “congrats!” doesnt feel like even close to enough 

    Edit for clarity
  • @inthewoods23 I will never understand why people join TTGP threads when they're in the TWW. At that point just hold off a bit until you know whether you're going to be trying for another cycle or not. Go ahead and lurk if you want to, but jumping in when you're already in the middle of your TWW seems counter-intuitive to me. I understand that not everyone has difficulties on their TTC journey and we're going to have some people who are here for one cycle never to be seen again, but I think it's also important that people understand why we cheer on those who have been here for a longer period of time that much more when they get a BFP.
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


  • @inthewoods23 When the "several month TTC" v. IF/AL thing happened... for whatever reason, we had a RASH of IF/AL grads all of a sudden within a few month period!  It was freaking amaze-balls.  Like the stars aligned for a small sub-set of our long-term population to graduate within a few months of each other. So for a few months, almost every week in the grad thread, it seemed that some IF/AL person was posting FINALLY!  At the same time, of course, there were weekly posts of people who'd been here within a 'regular' amount of time also. Some of those individuals got VERY angry (butt-hurt) that seemingly all the 'congrats' on the threads were then for the IF/AL Long-term peeps. At the same time, apparently people who'd joined TTGP and were participating, but hadn't reached the 'minimum 3 months regular participation' threshold ALSO were getting BFPs and were all butt-hurt that they couldn't post on the thread to share their glory as well.  So the butt-hurt and 1-3 cycle snowflakes all grouped together and threw giant shit-fits about it.  So it wasn't really people 'coming back,' it was mostly just an isolated couple month fight thing and those who were involved at the beginning continued to be involved in it, even though they'd 'graduated' already.
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    Melody Pond GIF
  • @capnjackharkness That's a really sucky situation. I would really hope that people would be way more aware that the IF/AL journey is different from the typical TTC journey and should be treated as such when they get their BFP/THB. If any of the current IF/AL ladies and I were to grad in the same week I would FULLY expect more people to be jumping on with congrats for that IF/AL individual (long time lurkers, people who only participate in those threads, former grads who have been around with these people from the start, etc.). It's a big deal for anyone, and yeah it's understandable to want your moment in the sun, but to me it's a much bigger deal for those who have had such a difficult journey to get to that point. Granted, I know not everyone shares my point of view on that but I thought I'd throw it out there.
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


  • @ashaislurking I appreciate that you have that perspective.  Unfortunately, that time on TTGP started a huge "every PG is special and should be treated equally, regardless of whether you've been here 1 cycle or 52 cycles" vs. a "Seriously? 1 cycle SS ppl are up in arms against people who've waited YEARS, had a crap-ton of testing, and paid a shit-ton of money for fertility help" about 'fairness' and 'equality' fight. 

    #GuessWhichSideIWasOn
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    Melody Pond GIF
  • @krash_ I fully agree. No internet stranger is obligated to say anything about your BFP. If people are compelled to give you well wishes because they know who you are and you've had meaningful interactions with them, that's completely different than every person on the board being obligated to treat every BFP the same for the purposes of equality. The point when you start treating everyone the exact same is the point when your words become extremely impersonal (and I'm just going to stop there before I go on a whole humanistic psychology rant).
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


  • @ashaislurking I know right? Just start participating on CD1 so you're at least here for 30 days.

    @capnjackharkness wow selfish much?

    @krash_ such a short and sweet burn  :D
    *TW* History
    TTC #1 since 7.2017
    Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies

    IUI #1-3 all BFN
    IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
    FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
    RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
    FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
    2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
    Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
    TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20

    Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
    Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
    Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
    Bloodwork | 10.21.21 high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
    BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22 B) | biopsy provided same effect as endometrial scratch; added supplemental progesterone and estrogen, prednisone, levothyroxine, and MTX Support to maintain pregnancy
    DS born 7.19.22 after induction


    TTC #2 begins 6.2023
    Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
    Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
    Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
    Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
    Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
    Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
    Repeat labs in 8 weeks
    Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
    TTC ended due to filing divorce

    **New relationship starting May 2024**

    Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
    Its Gonna Be May GIFs  Tenor
  • @BusinessWife Yes!  Busier boards for sure!  I distinctly remember there being a feeling of just love titting because if you felt close enough to need to say more, you should feel close enough to the person to send them a private message.  ?  I definitely remember the weekly grad posts though. And almost every week SOMEONE posted in them.  But I also remember NOT reading them unless there were a TON of posts (usually indicating an IF/AL grad), and being upset as well when it was not. Super depressing to be around forever and be tricked into reading weekly grad posts that are all like "This is my 3rd baby and I was here 4 whole cycles and never thought it'd happen!  Life is SOOoo rough!!!" ( :rage: )

    @keikilove Yeah. Like once a year or so there's always some shake-up about rules it seems.  Some newer people come in, stay a few cycles, and are all like "I don't understand X,Y,Z rules so I think we should change it all!" And us long-timers are all like ":: eye roll :: not again!  Why don't you bring this up if you're here past a year. IF you're around and you still feel the same, then we'll talk..."  Also, I don't even really remember your 'faux pas.'  I know you did something, cause I've heard you talk about it... but either I was on a bump break when you did it, or it wasn't that bad, or you've just been so great since then that I don't even remember!  LOL.

    #IOnlyHoldGrudgesForTotalUnrepententAssholes :wink:  :lol: 

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    Melody Pond GIF
  • @keikilove LOL.  I have to get better at hashtags cause I busted my damned laptop, so I can't right click, thus I can't copy and paste GIFs most of the time!  And due to the pandemic/quarantine laptop prices have soared and I refuse to pay the prices for a new one.  I'm legit a walking disaster.  Also, sort of an asshole... well, more like mostly an asshole... FINE FINE I'm a complete asshole!  :wink:  Also, I deal with shitty life issues through humor. And I'm a total realist. So, those things together make for interesting GIFs/hashtags/etc.  

    God you were like, THE WORST!  :tongue:  I do remember you telling us all about it.  I'm just, not even remotely a stalker and am terrible with names (and SNs).  So if I remember yours it's either really good or REALLY bad.  lol.  
    #BitterHagPartyOf1

    Melody Pond GIF
  • @capnjackharkness 😆 your asshole comments cracked me up LOL and P.S... if i won the lottery and had extra money i would just buy you a damn new laptop and send it to you haha. 
  • So I’m giggling outwardly at my responses to the Peggy, but inside I’m like “Oh shoot! Can gifs earn me a warning?” 




  • @keikilove gifs <i>can</i>... But I think you'll be okay. ;) It's a fine line, but mostly if you don't tell them to GTFO or flip them the bird, you should be good.👍👍
  • @keikilove I normally don’t interact with the Peggy’s but this one really pissed me off today. I really don’t care if I get a warning. I am feeling “unwelcoming” toward her. 
  • @fitzfizz Same! It just felt like we had one of the best grad days...and then a stranger barges in & ruins it with “So, like, you totally see it, right? Right?” GTFOH with that crap. 


  • @keikilove FWIW, I loved your gifs to that peggy 😆 I think you will be fine with those ones. That peggy pissed me off today too. Why do they always insist on shoving pee sticks in our faces and calling us bitches?? 




  • @mindyb2019 Ha! Love your gif here too😄 I don’t know why they feel the need to do those things!?! 
  • Feeling lonely over in WTO!  :'(
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

  • @krash_ You're not alone! I don't really have much to say today, which is why I haven't posted. Just tired and over today
  • Omg what happened here today??? Just got on to lurk and there’s a billion Peggy posts!

    @krash_ just waiting for AF to show up and I’ll be over in WTO! Hoping for tomorrow.
  • Regarding all the Peggies (Peggy’s?) in the last 24 hours:



  • @keikilove +1 for needing the snark to come back! Most of the best snarkers have disappeared
  • .@keikilove I would snark more but I'm still on warning level 2 until January... -_-
    TTC History- *TW* LC
    Me: 24 Dh: 46
    Married: 10.2018
    DS #1: 06.2014
    Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), Emergency C-Section
    MC: 03.2017- 5 Weeks
    Rainbow DS #2: 07.2018
    HG, 19w Fetal Surgery, 24w PPROM, 33w Placental Abruption, Partial Uterine Rupture, Emergency C-Section
    NICU, Chronic Kidney Disease
    TTC #3: Medically Cleared 12.5.2019, had a bunch of problems and wonky cycles
    BFP 10.13.2020 EDD: 6.26.2021

    October 2020 TTGP Signature Challenge: Pets in Costumes


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