No one is coming here. They will meet the baby after there's a vaccine for COVID. The only ones who will get to meet him are my Mom's household since they are all basically in quarantine. They all get their flu shots as well. DHs Dad's household can as well since they also all stay/work from home. We visited them last weekend. They are very cautious and haven't even done outdoor dining so we trust them.
My mom will come out to help for the first few weeks after the baby is born. Possibly my dad will come with her. Other than that, I have no definite plans for when the other family members will meet her. One perk of living far away from all family is there is zero pressure to make a holiday work when you're super pregnant or have a tiny newborn.
Nothing is set for us, but likely the only visitors will be our helpers. My parents will likely drive out mid November and stay with us through baby being born and then help out for a few weeks. They have been in quarantine like us since March. I’m more worried for getting exposed at the hospital and passing it to them- but we’ll figure something out. We have no one living near us to watch DD during the birth. The bouns is they will be here for Thanksgiving and Xmas, which will be a lot of fun. More then anything I’m worried about having two (three!) more people stuck in our house!
Both my parents and DH’s parents want to come down for the birth, but we’ve all decided that if things are still crazy, they’ll wait. Especially with us being on Florida and how many new cases we have every day. It doesn’t make any sense to have them travel cross country (his are in Arkansas and mine are in Wisconsin) in the middle of a pandemic. My two best friends also want to come down, but same thing, if things are still insane, they won’t.
So my MIL (yes her again) sent DH an email yesterday (not including me) announcing that she has rented a house 2 hours away from where we live the week of thanksgiving, and that she’d like for us and my SIL to join her for the holiday, but that if we don’t go she’s not canceling it and that’s what she’s doing “even if it’s alone” because that’s what she wants to do. Will add the house is not pet friendly and we have a 100 lb dog who is like our child (photo included so you can understand why we love him so much) and we take him everywhere we go.
A few things. The Wed before T-giving is my last day at work before I start Mat leave. I cannot take off the entire week - also DH is taking off a month unpaid as paternity leave, so to take off that week as well would be an even bigger hit to our budget. I’ll Also be 37-38 weeks pregnant. Also, historically, We always host T-Giving and it’s a big affair. Granted this year will be diff but it’s just f-ing weird for her to not talk to us about this first Bc doing this would mean shunning my entire family (who always comes to our house)
I told DH we’re not going Bc of the distance from the hospital, but also Bc I’m kind of like even if I was willing to deal with the drive back while in labor and not being with our dog-son I’m annoyed with the way this was handled. He’s not happy about what i said, but I think deep down he understands why it’s a bad idea, but it’s still causing some tension btw us.
I’m not even prepared to make a decision about any of the holidays yet because I just don’t know what’s going to happen Btw COVID & the baby! This is really not the year for anyone in our fam to pressure us into plans. I know I’m not alone in this, I’m just so over it.
@shelmcclel I hate to break it to you (and I'm sure you already know this) but she's a freaking drama queen/probably a pure narcissist. My MIL is the same. We have minimal contact with her at this point.
@willashbaby I’m very much so at that point. Totally done trying to be thoughtful. DH can be her point of contact and he’s generally not responsive. So the relationship is entirely up to him.
@shelmcclel I want to play devils advocate and figure out some reason why she’s being such a diva so we can have empathy for her but I just can’t. It’d weird. And SUPEr annoying sounding I’m sorry you have to deal with her 😞
@shelmcclel that is such a shady, crappy way for her to make holiday plans. It seems like a very pointed, intentional way to guilt you into going. If you don't go then she can seek sympathy for wasting her money and not being included in the holiday because everyone knew she had plans. Even so, you should do what feels right and being a Thanksgiving hostage doesn't seem like a good time.
I feel for you. We have some master guilt trippers in our families.
@shelmcclel Ugh that’s so annoying I’m sorry! So manipulative and such an attention grab. There’s no way in hell I’d be going 2 hours away from the hospital at 38 weeks either.
Thanks for the support guys! @autumn87654321@mom_of_the_vogels@laurenspdx sorry for always complaining about her, just feel like it’s been never ending & every time I’m in disbelief that she’s doing or saying these things
@shelmcclel maybe covid can be a good thing in this situation. It gives you a valid reason not to see or deal with her through the holidays/ baby’s arrival!
I do have a question for anyone attending a Christmas dinner (I am with my close family aka parents and grandparents because we all live in the same small city) what the heck are you going to wear freshly post partum because I’m pretty sure although I’ll want to throw on sweatpants and a sweatshirt like a week or two postpartum my family always dresses up nice and takes lots of pictures!
@shelmcclel no worries, I didn't think that at all! I feel like all I do is complain on here sometimes. It's a safe space where I can say what I need to and I don't have to worry about gossiping.
@tryingktogku maybe think about a comfy, forgiving dress and leggings? I don't plan on doing much but if we do go anywhere I'll still be in stretchy maternity pants and a tank top under a nice shirt with a spare t-shirt in the diaper bag. That's my go-to to try and look nice for pictures or gatherings but be realistic about the fact that I am always burning up in crowded spaces.
@mom_of_the_vogels that’s a good idea! Especially brining a backup shirt haha I’ve never been post partum before and I feel like thinking about this is making the whole “Covid baby” thing a little more normal lol
@tryingktogku you know my answer: latched mama, specifically a solid flutter sleeve maxi momper. Comfy, but put together looking. My entire wardrobe is either latched mama ($$$) or Costco ($).
@sejica latched mama has some seriously nice stuff but it’s hard because I pay lots of duty+import fees to get American goodies into Canada lol I love seraphine too but again with COVID being down I can’t order across the River and go pick it up (I live in a border city) so I pay like $$$$ to get it brought across at the moment lol
I think with Covid still happening, we may skip dinners or big ones for people we haven't been seeing. I already told my family that the baby will stay in the the carrier I wear the whole time and she will not be passed around, if we even go. I'll be telling DH's family the same if we do decide to go. I don't want DS to miss out but if numbers keep going up, we won't be going.
So we found out today that the doctors are planning to do a C section potentially on the 23rd. My son is planning to write a letter to Santa, petitioning him to come early.
Oh, and funny story about that - we are naming her after my Grandma, who LOVED Christmas. TW grandparent loss She was in hospice and asked every day "Is it Christmas yet?" "No, not yet Claire." Finally my Grandpa answered "Yes it is, it's midnight on Christmas Day. - She passed away three hours later. I can't help but feel having a Christmas baby is her looking down on us.
@the_road_to_oz will you be 39weeks then? I'm trying to figure out when mine would be scheduled - it's on my list of questions for my next visit. I'm due 12/29 but I'm hoping they will schedule 12/20 or 12/21 so we can definitely be home on Christmas.
@karmba. Your probably correct 😃. I don't have a date for mine yet but my midwife said not to be surprised if they want to wait until 40 weeks because my other two kids were 2 weeks over before unplanned c sections.... Not sure I want to wait that long though...
@hadassah2020 I was induced at 37 weeks with DS due to high BP and a bad NST. This time I’m hoping to go as long as possible, but I also hope I don’t hit 40 weeks haha.
Re: Getting Ready for a Holiday Baby Thread
Diminished ovarian reserve
BFP: 4/14/2020 EDD: 12/20/2020
I told DH we’re not going Bc of the distance from the hospital, but also Bc I’m kind of like even if I was willing to deal with the drive back while in labor and not being with our dog-son I’m annoyed with the way this was handled. He’s not happy about what i said, but I think deep down he understands why it’s a bad idea, but it’s still causing some tension btw us.
I want to play devils advocate and figure out some reason why she’s being such a diva so we can have empathy for her
but I just can’t. It’d weird. And SUPEr annoying sounding
I’m sorry you have to deal with her 😞
I feel for you. We have some master guilt trippers in our families.
@tryingktogku maybe think about a comfy, forgiving dress and leggings? I don't plan on doing much but if we do go anywhere I'll still be in stretchy maternity pants and a tank top under a nice shirt with a spare t-shirt in the diaper bag. That's my go-to to try and look nice for pictures or gatherings but be realistic about the fact that I am always burning up in crowded spaces.
My son is planning to write a letter to Santa, petitioning him to come early.
TW grandparent loss
She was in hospice and asked every day "Is it Christmas yet?" "No, not yet Claire." Finally my Grandpa answered "Yes it is, it's midnight on Christmas Day. - She passed away three hours later. I can't help but feel having a Christmas baby is her looking down on us.