Ask a STM, May Edition

kboydbowman · May 2020

FTMs, have any pregnancy or baby-related questions? Ask the STMs (and TTM and FTM, you get it)!

amandarenee89 · May 2020

I have a strange question. Has anyone ever LOST weight during pregnancy?

I purchased a scale since I’m not seeing the doctor in person due to COVID and I got it today. Stepped on the scale after calibrating it and according to it, I’ve lost NINE pounds since my last weigh in at the doctor a month ago. I’m 17 weeks pregnant so I should be gaining. I am eating healthier due to quarantine and I had to modify my diet due to the risk of developing gestational diabetes. But I feel 9 lbs is a lot and it’s concerning. I am planning to call my doctor on Monday to discuss but just wanted some insight here if anyone has any.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · May 2020

@amandarenee89 I did with my first—but I was quite overweight to begin with. I lost about 20 lbs over the first couple of months. I didn’t get back over my pre-pregnancy weight until about week 30. My doctor was not concerned at first because of my starting weight, but did get to the point where she would ask “Are you eating? It’s time to start gaining some weight.” I lost a little bit at first this time too. As of my appointment this week (16+5) I have gained a few back but am still down 5 from my starting weight.

coldbrew · May 2020

I lost weight with all 3. With the first I didn’t catch up with my pre-pregnancy weight until halfway through 3rd tri. I had bad morning sickness though. Are you having trouble keeping food down?

calliah · May 2020

I lost 15 pounds the first 20 weeks with my first because I just didn’t have an appetite. I started gaining after that. My OB wasn’t concerned, she did ask if I was feeling ok. I ended up gaining 30 and had a healthy 8 pound baby.

Unless you are still throwing up a lot, I wouldn’t worry. The pounds will come soon.

amandarenee89 · May 2020

Thanks ladies! This helps me feel a little better. No, I’ve been one of the fortunate ones to not experience morning sickness at all. There are some days (but not everyday) where I don’t have much of an appetite for lunch (I’m always sure to eat breakfast and dinner). If I don’t eat a meal for lunch, I’ll usually do a protein smoothie to keep up with nutrients.

peanutorcookie · May 2020

I work from home, even when there isn't a pandemic going on. I do a lot of phone work so need relative quiet most of the day. I know a couple of my coworkers have babies at home with them while they work, but they aren't necessarily "top performers." How reasonable/unreasonable is it to keep a baby (and if reasonable, to what age) at home while working full time?
Edit to add: my company is reasonably flexible with regard to allowing breaks for nursing/pumping, etc. during first year.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · May 2020

@peanutorcookie It is hard, and unfortunately, it all depends on the baby. Which of course, you won’t really know until you meet him/her. I did this with my first, and he was a very social baby who got bored at home (seriously!) and didn’t like to sleep unless he was being held. There were a lot of tears from both of us! On the other hand, there are babies that are super content and good nappers that would make this a lot easier. Either way, once baby is mobile, it becomes an extra degree harder.

AB518 · May 2020

@peanutorcookie I don't work from home...well, I do some limited work from home. When baby isn't mobile, it is so much easier to get work done, but it also depends on the baby's personality. My son was calm and quiet as long as he was held most of the time. Once baby becomes mobile then it's a lot tougher to get anything done. For my son, it would have been nearly impossible for me to get much done after about 6 months. My sister works mainly from home. She thought that it was too much for her to try to care for a baby and work, so she sent her kids to a sitter/daycare early on as in immediately after maternity leave was over. She had four months of maternity leave for her kids.

mamahosch · May 2020

I just had my 16 week appointment this morning, and my OB told me I’ve lost weight since my 8 week appointment. So @amandarenee89 I know how you’re feeling! It kind of has me worried too the way she approached the topic. I told her I walk everyday when it’s nice out and haven’t really skipped meals! So I’m not sure what’s going on.

themoonandme · May 2020

@peanutorcookie I work from home 100% of the time and I have my 3 kids home with me mostly. The older two go to preschool a few times a week (or...they used to when school was open) and my little one is always home. It was much easier to get work done when the big two were at school and the little one was not mobile! I work a part time schedule and can thankfully just specify that I will work x hours on x day instead of specifying a set schedule, so that makes it a lot easier, since I can get a couple of hours in during nap/quiet time or after my husband is home. If I were working a set schedule I would probably be at least 50% less productive/efficient.

coldbrew · May 2020

I worked from home after my second (it was my own business though so I could follow virtually any schedule I wanted) and the baby was fine. The older sister was much more challenging and I do not recommend lol. Babies just nurse/eat, sleep, and want to be held and you can multitask.

coldbrew · May 2020

My STM+ question is if anyone is feeling baby move (more than just a questionable flutter here or there). I’m a 3rd time mom and really don’t think I’ve felt anything. I’m surprised because I feel like by 18 weeks I was feeling full kicks last time.

themoonandme · May 2020

@coldbrew this is my 4th pregnancy and I just started to feel little flutters in the last few days. With 2nd and 3rd I was definitely feeling them earlier so I was surprised and worried that I hadn't felt anything yet.

carrotsandpeas3 · May 2020

@coldbrew second pregnancy here. I starting feeling rare flutters 2-3 weeks ago and got some of my first kicks today at 16 weeks. Still rare and not regular though, like maybe once or twice a day at most. I think it can vary a lot based on the position of the baby and the placenta, but I totally understand your worry and wanting to feel thing sooner!

AB518 · May 2020

@coldbrew I started feeling movement around 14 weeks this pregnancy. This is my second pregnancy. Feeling movement isn't consistent; I will feel it a lot some days and then I'll go days without feeling any movement before feeling movement again. I notice it most often when it's time for lunch. I wasn't expecting to feel movement this early because I felt movement sometime after 20 weeks with my first pregnancy even with a posterior placenta.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · May 2020

@coldbrew I felt my first kick with this one about 16 weeks but haven’t felt much overall (18weeks today). My doctor said “that seems a little early but you’ve been through this before, so you’re probably right!” Like @AB518 I didn’t feel my first until after the 20ish week marker... and then he did not. stop. kicking. And still to this day has not stopped kicking, running, or jumping. 🤣

mamahosch · May 2020

@coldbrew Literally as I was reading this I felt little bubble-like sensations... I'm guessing that was baby! I'm 16 weeks with my first.

calliah · May 2020

@coldbrew I’ve been wondering the same thing! I feel baby occasionally but not as much as I would think for my third pregnancy. It’s a bit unnerving! Hopefully he’s just lazy and laid back

profmcgonagall · May 2020

@coldbrew, I started feeling them around 16 weeks but very random and will go days without feeling anything. This is also my third pregnancy. With my first two, I didn’t feel anything until 20 weeks

anitamargarita_82 · May 2020

I don’t know where else to post this... my NIPT came back inconclusive due to lack of fetal dna. I had my test at almost 13weeks. I went in and had it redrawn today. They also scheduled me for an amniocentesis as well so that if this test is inconclusive again or comes back with bad results they can proceed right away with that. I’m so stressed out. Now the wait starts all over 😢

calliah · May 2020

@anitamargarita_82 oh man, I’m sorry 😕 That’s so stressful. I hope it comes back ok this time. And hopefully quicker!

coldbrew · May 2020

@anitamargarita_82 I’m really sorry. sending good thoughts your way!

MJDsquared · May 2020

@coldbrew Second pregnancy, 17+4 and only very rare, very slight movements. Like I second guess if I felt them or not. I felt my first at exactly 18 weeks and could see her kicks on the outside on the same day. So just waiting impatiently for more distinct movement over here.

@anitamargarita_82 I'm sorry. Crossing my fingers that this test is conclusive. ❤️

mammatoomc · May 2020

I’m glad to see other moms discussing feeling movement. I’m 18W weeks and I’ve been feeling movements for about 2 weeks now but I swear I felt them much sooner with my first. Sometimes I get nervous cause a whole day goes by with very little movement but I typically end up feeling her right around bed time. Also, already feeling her uncomfortably up in my left rib. I’ll be happy to feel more consistent and stronger movements. I’ve had so much anxiety and fear this pregnancy.

Kurtni · May 2020

@coldbrew I’ve been wondering about movement too. I started feeling movement at 15 weeks well, then had like a week of nothing at all. I could hear kicks with my doppler but never felt them. Im 18 weeks today and just the past few days I’ve been feeling some definite kicks but not regularly or even daily at all. My placenta wasn’t anterior at my first ultrasound but I’m wondering it’s it’s moved 🤷‍♀️

mamahosch · May 2020

What are your tips for gaining weight (a healthy amount!) during pregnancy? Apparently I have no trouble gaining weight when I'm not pregnant, but I lost weight since my last weigh-in at the OB office. I didn't even have morning sickness first trimester, but I definitely eat a lot less at meals than I ever have, even now in 2nd trimester.

profmcgonagall · May 2020

@anitamargarita_82, that sucks it was inconclusive. I have a friend who’s test came back inconclusive 3 times and everything was was fine. Hopefully you will get the results soon!

babyodo · May 2020

I started feeling flutters at 12+2 (super early, I know, but they were unmistakable). It wasn't every day, but maybe every other day or every two days, and usually when I was hungry or eating. Now I've been getting them more frequently, almost every day. Usually when I first wake up as I'm preparing breakfast, then when I get hungry for lunch, again when I'm eating dinner, and occasionally I'll feel her flutter if I'm laying on my left side when I go to sleep at night. I'm eager for when she starts actually kicking so that MH can feel it, since he can't go with me to my OB appts for the foreseeable future and I'd like him to feel included.

@anitamargarita_82 - FX for better results with your amnio than your NIPT!

coldbrew · May 2020

I think it was easier to feel them with my first than subsequent pregnancies because I was so in tune. I have had phantom kicks and bubbles hundreds of times when not pregnant so I’m always questioning what is real or not now that I know they feel the same lol. I felt a definite kick this morning though!

@mamahosch I lost at each appointment so far (and same with my first 2 pregnancies until after about 28 weeks). It’s pretty common and I wouldn’t worry about trying to GAIN so much as just making sure you’re eating plenty of small healthy meals. Eventually the weight will come on as long as you’re not vomiting a lot or trying to lose.

aefsparrow · May 2020

@mamahosch I'm a FTM too, but when i talked to my doctor about meals he told me to just focus on getting good nutrients every day and let the weight work itself out. As long as you're eating and getting even semi-solid nutrition the weight will come.

themoonandme · May 2020

@mamahosch SNACKS. I have not gained "enough" weight in any of my pregnancies (not for lack of trying) and for me, regular snacks help the most. I have probably 4-6 snacks a day between meals, even when I'm not hungry. Half an avocado filled with salsa is one of my favs that has a good amount of (healthy) fat. Try not to stress too much about weight- I have had healthy 7-8 lb babies every time and have never gained the recommended amount. It's not something you can totally control, and as long as you're eating, you're doing what you can.

kboydbowman · May 2020

I have the opposite problem. I'm at 16 weeks and I've gained 21 pounds so far. It's insane.

mamahosch · May 2020

@coldbrew @aefsparrow @themoonandme thank you ladies! That is really helpful. I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong! I definitely will add more snacks throughout my day. I thought eating 3 full meals daily would do the trick but so far, nope!

anitamargarita_82 · May 2020

@kboydbowman I’m right there with you. Im
normally a healthy weight but when I’m pregnant I pack on pounds just looking at food. It just seems that’s what my body does. My first pregnancy I was working out and counting calories and was still packing it on. Is what it is. I gained close to 60 with my DD. I had it all back off by about 10 months PP.

Kurtni · May 2020

Nursing STMs, if you had high lipase with your first, did you also in subsequent pregnancies? Was it to the same degree?

baseballismyfavoriteseason · May 2020

@Kurtni I am really glad you asked this. I suspected this for number one but never had it confirmed. My kid would not drink fresh breast milk from a bottle; it had to be frozen first and then thawed. I didn’t realize there might be a reason for it, other than he didn’t like it?! So I am wondering the same thing!!

carrotsandpeas3 · May 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason usually freezing makes lipase worse, so that seems so backwards to me! I had high lipase with my first and would expect to again--my kid just hated bottles period, no matter what was in them, so I gave up on trying to correct for the lipase. When she was hungry enough, she would take it. @Kurtni I would think your milk would be similar, but have no specific evidence for that.

babycakesday · May 2020

I’ve lost weight so far. 27 pounds to be exact but I know my problem is my appetite. I’m not hungry ever. I eat because I know I have to. I rarely finish a meal because I get full really fast. It was the same with my first pregnancy. She came out at 5lbs 11oz at full term. I would have liked her to be biggger but she was healthy and happy. I’ve added fruit smoothies with some Greek yogurt to my day just for added calories. I haven’t seen my doctor since early April and I had only lost 7 pounds back then. Wonder what she’ll say about this huge drop. As long as your eating and maybe adding a snack here and there you’ll be fine. I know I gained like ten pounds the last two months and felt like nothing had changed in my eating habits at all.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · May 2020

@carrotsandpeas3 Well I could definitely be wrong!! Like I said, I never had it confirmed because I didn’t know it was a thing! How do you find out for sure?

carrotsandpeas3 · May 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason by taste. 😜 The longer milk sat in the fridge, the "soapier" it tasted and then frozen milk was even worse. From what I've read, a lot of kids still drink it fine, so I just tried not to stress about it. My kid was unpredictable with the bottles, so I couldn't really connect the two as the problem. I'm pretty sure she just hated drinking from bottles period.

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