Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
rivercitynik
member
Re: Product Spotlight: Bottles and Feeding
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
- I've heard all babies are different when it comes to bottle preferences. If I'm hoping to do a mix of breast feeding and pumping, how many bottles would you recommend having on hand to start? Is one of each type I want to try enough or should I have a few of each? I'm hoping to mostly start with bottles I receive in the welcome gifts from places like Amazon and Target (I haven't received these boxes yet so I'm just hoping there are bottle samples in them)
- Do folks have a favorite nursing pillow? I'm thinking of this one, which seems like a hybrid of the original boppy and my breast friend
- My dishwasher sometimes leaves a soapy residue behind (btw any tips for this?), so I think I'll mostly handwash bottles. Is it fine to use Dawn/my regular dish soap, or do y'all recommend something more natural/specific for babies.
- I've got my eyes on the Stokke highchair. I know it's so $$$, but I like that it seems to have a longer lifespan than a regular highchair (and isn't plastic). Does anyone have one? Do you think it's worth it? And what infant attachments do I actually need (cushion? tray?)
Think that's it for now! Thanks in advance@rivercitynik I wouldn't go overboard with too many types, because you may get lucky and not need all those different options. I received a couple samples we eventually used for water sippies because they had an interchangeable nipple / soft spout option (Avent Natural). Otherwise the bottles I initially picked worked for us (Joovy Boob), so we stuck with those. I only had some in the smaller size to start with tho to make sure before graduating to the larger size. And the number you need will depend on various factors. I would start with just a few and you can always buy more. It's easier to have a few bottles you're hand-washing (and occasionally boiling) rather than a whole heap. It's just more to let pile up, and more to wash, imho. I just used our regular dish soap and rinsed well, but I do have a dedicated super clean collapsible washbin for bottle parts <i>only</i>, and dedicated brush.
<div class="Spoiler">Now I have to sadly say I didn't actually <i>100%</i> have success with the initial bottles I wanted. Caveat being that I had hoped to use all glass, but I picked the brand did because I felt they had a superior plastic option (PPSU), and parts would be interchangeable. But I started getting chips at the neck of the glass ones, and even after the company replaced (EXCELLENT Customer Service I have to say) so they sent me all PPSU replacements and that's what we used for the duration. I was bummed that the glass didn't work out for us, but glad that I felt good at least about my high quality plastic backup option, and we didn't have to switch nipples. Also, while the nipples and vent rings were all the same, the collars and kids were not, so it wasn't as if they were as interchangeable as I had hoped. But whatever.</div>
Re: pumping
<div class="Spoiler">Another factor that I thought was really important (and turned out <i>not</i> to be) was the ability to pump directly into the bottles I was using. I got the adapters, but honestly I just didn't get that much pumping that it mattered. I pretty much pumped into the bottles that came with the pump, and then poured into the little milk tubes the lactation department gave me for storage, until I was ready to pour baby a bottle, or freeze. So I found something that worked for basically free lol and I needn't have been worried about fancy adapters and researching bottle / pump compatibility etc. Wasted energy.</div>
Re: freezing
<div class="Spoiler">I froze what I could into the milkies milk trays and then bagged, and will most likely do the same, especially if my supply is on the low side again. I liked the ability to freeze an ounce or two at a time, rather than have to wait and fill a whole storage bag at a time. When the 8oz tray was full, I would put two of those in a ziplock and date, so I had 16oz freezer bags, portioned into 1oz sticks. But there is no wrong way to do it, and you can figure that out as you go. </div>
Re: wooden high chairs
<div class="Spoiler">I didn't look at the stokke, but I also wanted non plastic. I got a wooden one for the dining room, but it doesn't go counter height or recline, so I ended up getting a second for the kitchen afterall. 🤷 The wooden one we have also converts through stages, but now that DD is a toddler, I just haven't played around with it enough to know how great it may or may not continue to work for us. But I'm hopeful! I know one of the Montessori moms I watch loves her stokke she got second hand and repainted, or maybe it's even a knockoff, I'm not sure. But that's what I'm hoping is ours will adjust similarly so DD can climb in herself but still be boosted.</div>
For a nursing pillow I just used whatever pillows I had around the house, and it worked just fine. I had a boppy, but it honestly just felt too stiff for me and I didn't use it much. I have been curious about trying the brest friend tho, so I will definitely look at that link you provided! DD uses her boppy still to sit in, which is adorable, btw, but otherwise I'm not sure even a special BF pillow is necessary, unless you're having trouble getting comfortable using what you have. I know DH would probably pitch a fit if I bought a new nursing pillow for this babe lol so I'm personally undecided. ETA looking at it, I think I would have preferred that to the typical boppy for fit / comfort, but I'm not sure the design retains the long-term multi-functionality of the regular one, if you even care about something like that. But it looks like a solid choice!
Dating 4/2008
Married 6/2016
TTC #1 9/2019
BFP 12/13/2019!
EDD 8/27/2020 Baby Girl
@rivercitynik
-I had Tommee Tippee, Medela that came with the pump, and a Dr. Brown's that came in the Target registry bag. We only used the Dr. Brown's. Tommee Tippee seemed to not flow well. The Medela's were fine, but I liked the vent on the Dr. Brown's. As a thrifty person, I started basic and wouldn't expand unless I had to. I didn't buy any bottles for D2, who I ended up exclusively bottle-feeding. The Tommee Tippee were left over from D1, who never used them.
-Pillow. I never had one. I would sometimes use our regular throw pillows, though.
-Cleaning. Yes, our dishwashers (two different ones over the course of bottle-feeding) never seemed to get the bottles fully clean, so I hand-washed. I just used our regular dish soap.
-High chair. Personally, I like the kind that straps to a chair. It takes up less space. I would NOT get cushions. They will just get messy, and if they're the plasticky kind, they will crack over time and then get even messier. Our chair is just hard plastic.
https://www.buybuybaby.com/store/product/boppy-reg-nursing-cover-in-boho-grey/1045791963?keyword=nursing-cover
- bottles: we bought avent bottles and they worked fine, never had to try a different type. We started using a bottle a few times a week at 2.5/3 weeks and I recommend premie bottle nipples if you plan to start that early because even the newborn flow is faster than a breast.
I registered for one bottle of a few different brands. Tommee tippee was his favorite, but I saved the others to try with this little one. I saved some gift cards that we got as gifts specifically to stock up the bottles that he liked.
We have a boppy. I didn't use it much for nursing but loved it as he got older. I would prop him up on it and if was handy when he was learning to sit independently. I'm not gonna lie, I would lay on it when we were playing on the floor! Haha it's comfy and supports the shoulders well.
We don't have a dishwasher (yet) so I hand washed everything. Regular dishsoap has been fine. Rinse them well though! We did use our sterilizer about once a week to give everything a good clean. Especially pump parts because there are so many small parts.
We we're pretty basic with highchairs. Wanted something collapsible, convertible, easy to clean, not too extravagant.
Bottles - I 95% breast fed so we didn't use them much but we have the Lansinoh ones and the manual pump.
Pillow - I did have a horseshoe pillow but I didn’t like it, I used a regular bed pillow and it was perfect. Caveats for that are, I almost exclusively fed using the football hold and my baby was 9lb so was never tiny.
Cleaning - Never had an issue but we also use a steriliser after cleaning as all my pumped milk was stored afterwards.
Highchair - Have a look at the Hauck Alpha+ it's very similar to the Stokke and half the price.
Cover - I just wore a light scarf, that worked well, then after a few monthst I didn't care + baby did not messaround and got on with the job. (edit - I forgot about the cover)
Nursing pillow: Waste of money. Just use regular pillows. The boppy lounger can be useful as a baby container, though.
Bottles: If BF'ing works for you, you have time to figure bottles out. If it doesn't, the baby won't be picky yet at a few days old and the hospital will give you some tiny bottles to start. We used mostly Avent and Comotomo and she was happy with both. People also recommend Dr. Browns a lot, but they have a million pieces and are a PITA to wash. Avoid the MAM bottles because they leak easily.
Bottle washing: We hand washed the bottles for the most part with castille soap. +1 on the Boon grass, and get the bigger one if you have space for it. We sterilized about 1x/month in a boiling pot of water.
Bottle warmer: We didn't need one. Mostly gave milk cold from the fridge, or put the bottle with cold milk in a cup of hot water for a minute. I would wait to see if your baby complains about cold milk before getting one. You may also want to know if your milk/baby has lipase issues first, because that requires a different type of heating.
High chair: The stokkes are really nice, but didn't work for our space. You can usually find them for much cheaper on local BST groups if price is your only concern. Most high chairs do the job. Just get one you can stand to look at in your kitchen for the next 2 years (plus in the 10,000 pictures you take of baby eating) and is easy to clean.
Nursing pillow: a waste. I used a regular pillow. I got the boppy but it was super uncomfortable. We did use it for tummy time with DS1 when he was a few months old.
Bottles: I really liked the munchkin latch bottles (new and in all the sample bags with DS1) so we tried those out. They had the anticolic air vent at the back and was made for breastfed babies. It was easy to clean too (unscrew lid, clean bottle and lid and your are done). DS1 liked them so we bought a few more when he started daycare. We needed to send in 4 so we bought a few extra. When he got older, daycare said he needed 5-6oz at a time so we bought the 4 larger bottles (8oz). We still have them and might look into reusing them, just get new nipples, if they are still in good condition. When I looked them up, it looks like they dont sell them anymore or at least not as prevalent. We also got lots of free bottles in the sample boxes this time around that we will test out as well before we purchase any.
I was contemplating trying them out but not sure if I want to buy anything yet.
Bottle warmer: we never used it. It was part of the set with the steamer but we never really used it. DS1 was fine with cold milk.
High chair: We lived in a smaller space and needed a space saver highchair that attached to one of our dining room chairs. It was a fisher price hard plastic with plush cover on it. We need to wash the cover but we plan to re-use it for this baby too.
Bottle warmers are pretty useless 90% of the time it just takes longer and a lot of babies are fine with cold milk. We just ran the bottle under warm water or sat it in a cup of warm water for a few minutes for a scheduled-ish feed but again 98% of feeds was straight from the source anyway.