Ask a STM+ March Addition

dedioni · March 2020

Hi All,

As posted on the weekly randoms thread, in my last BMB we had monthly ask STM+ threads. This is a great place to ask any questions you may be having whether they relate to this stage in PG or once your LO arrives. Also a great opportunity for us STM to ask our STM+ moms questions!

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profmcgonagall · March 2020

Has anyone used the stroller with the platform for your toddler to sit/stand on? I think we want to get one but wanted to see if anyone has any real world experience with it?

themoonandme · March 2020

@profmcgonagall we have a stroller that has a removable glider board, and tbh I don't love it. It's hard to push with a kid right there because they're taking up the space that you'd usually have (and they're usually heavy!). It's convenient for quick/short things but I would never use it for a long walk or let my older child ride through the mall or something. I know they make some that have the platform attached and inside of the stroller bars, and I'm sure that's probably more comfortable/easier to push.

morethanamama · March 2020

I second @profmcgonagall 's question!

Kurtni · March 2020

I much prefer a side by side style double than a sit and stand. They’re longer and just awkward to turn. The sitting platform is also not very comfortable, they could never nap there, and my 3yo still takes plenty of stroller naps.

pelomama · March 2020

Kurtni said:

I much prefer a side by side style double than a sit and stand. They’re longer and just awkward to turn. The sitting platform is also not very comfortable, they could never nap there, and my 3yo still takes plenty of stroller naps.

Agree, love my side by side (I also have a vista which I loathe with the double setup)

coldbrew · March 2020

Agree about the side by side.

morethanamama · March 2020

@pelomama talk to me about how you hate the Vista. I was just talking to H about the fact that I personally am not super happy with it even as a single and that I think we need a side to side. He is of course pissed because well, I really pushed for the Vista and now I'm like MEH. But tell me why you hate it, I'm curious if the reasons are similar to my suspicions

BLuvsE · March 2020

I actually mostly used a single for my older kid and wore my baby. Then by the time baby needed the stroller, big kid was too big for it. They're three years apart.

babycakesday · March 2020

@BLuvsE I think that may be the case for us. They’ll be 4.5 years apart. Good to know it worked for you.

thats_chelsea · April 2020

I never bought a double stroller when he had #2. We told my oldest he was a big boy and had to walk. Not too many places you need it anyway. If we went places like Disney we would rent a double. the malls had cute car rentals for both occasionally. with number three we don’t plan on getting a double stroller

thats_chelsea · April 2020

I DID want to ask any moms with 3 what the best way to set up my mid size suv. I just bought an suv with optional third row. obviously will come in handy but we were not planning to get pregnant with number three. I am trying to figure out how to do this since the second row has to fold down to get in third row. I have a 6.5 yr old in a booster and a 3.5 in a convertible still and obviously going to add an infant car seat to the mix. what’s the easiest/ best way to do this?
I should have bought a minivan but because I just bought it in sept so i will lose money on it. 😔

mckjacks · April 2020

@thats_chelsea not a mom with three, but have sisters with lots of kiddos. I know they would typically put the oldest two in the third row and either leave the one side down for them to get in and out of easier or open and close it each time. The 2nd youngest would be in the seat directly behind the side you’re using to let them in and out, that way you can help seatbelts and, theoretically, the 6.5yr should be able to seatbelt themselves in with little assistance.

thats_chelsea · April 2020

@mckjacks awesome thanks sort of what I thought would work best!

thats_chelsea · April 2020

I feel so out of touch with this pregnancy not many of my close friends have babies. I’d say my 3.5 is the youngest. I feel so out of the loop with the new brands and trends. like with my 3.5 year old he slept in the rock n play which I know is a big no no now lol. It doesn’t help that social media advertises soooo much stuff to you. It’s hard to tell what’s useful or just garbage ads. Quarantine makes me feel even farther away from moms with babies.

carrotsandpeas3 · April 2020

We got you @thats_chelsea. I felt equally clueless two years ago with my first because none of my friends had kids yet. My previous bmb has helped me so much with that sort of thing (and is still helping me with things now--they helped me pick out a tricycle last week!)

thats_chelsea · April 2020

@carrotsandpeas3 thank you!!! It’s also weird because I like can’t go to buy buy baby or target which is pretty much the only stores you can go look at baby stuff.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

How are you preparing your kid(s) for the new baby? If anyone has experience with kids less than 2yrs apart, how did you prep the toddler? Our little guy is 16 months and obviously not comprehending anything yet, though we’ve been talking to him about the baby in mommy’s tummy.

carrotsandpeas3 · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason my daughter is 19 months so we are sort of in the same boat. Talking about the baby in my belly, but I don't think she really gets that yet. The thing we've been focusing on is teaching her that she's a big girl and not a baby anymore. She gets excited when we ask her if she's a baby or a big girl and proudly shouts "big girl!" And we have been emphasizing things big girls do versus babies. Probably will try to do more as things gets closer and she gets older over the next few months, but that's where our focus is now.

Kurtni · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I have a book called “Shine a Light: at the hospital” that helps explain the baby in tummy concept. You hold a flashlight under the pages to show hidden pictures, so there is a picture of a pregnant woman, and when you shine the light it shows the baby. That clicked well with my 2yo last year when I was pregnant.

JLaVO888 · April 2020

Yeah it’s been easy with DD. She was 2 when I got pregnant with DS and 3 when he was born and she was able to talk to us about it a ton and I think that helped. This time DS was only 10 months when we found out so there’s no preparing him.

DD is over the moon to be a big sis again and thankfully has been happy regardless of sex. I thought she might be dead set on a sister but she’s happy with either. She’s literally the only girl on the block (out of what will be 7 kids total).

amapa20 · April 2020

I'm working on my registry and would like advice about bouncer/swing/rocker. I currently have a bouncer (that vibrates) as well as a 2-in-1 swing/rocker on there. The latter is so expensive, but I know my best friend's kiddos loved theirs. My question is, is it worth getting both the bouncer and the swing?

-mistygish

coldbrew · April 2020

My kids never liked bouncers, but swings were a lifesaver. The one we had was Fisher Price brand and the seat could be removed from the frame to take it to different rooms when you’re cooking/doing laundry and need somewhere for baby to sit. I also liked that you could push a button and change the direction of the swing from forward/backward to side-to-side.

JLaVO888 · April 2020

@coldbrew hah mine were the opposite! Loved the vibrating bouncer, hated the swing. We got a swing/bouncer all in one for DS and I loved it. It gives you the option to go either way without having two things that take up space.

JLaVO888 · April 2020

Check this one out from target. It’s what we have. The seat comes off and is a bouncer/vibrates and can be put on so that it swings side to side or front to back.

carrotsandpeas3 · April 2020

We definitely used both. The swing was usually while cooking or so we could be hands free to eat for a minute, but she usually didn't fall asleep in it. We used the bouncer at bedtimes early on. DH loved it because he would stick her in it and let me go shower and he could bounce it with his foot while he played video games. 🤪 I didn't care because she would be asleep by the time I checked back!

calliah · April 2020

We had the swing upstairs and the bouncer downstairs. I’m a fan of all containment devices, having someplace to put baby is important, especially if you have dogs or older LOs around.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

Has anyone worked full-time right up to birth and how did you find time for setting up the nursery, etc? With my first, I was working in baseball in a seasonal position, so my job ended the first week of October and I had all of Oct and Nov at home to prep for baby. Now I’m working year round, and I’m anxious about finding the time and energy for setting up the nursery, washing the baby clothes, and other cleaning-the-house-nesting activities...

coldbrew · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I did with both pregnancies. It gets easier once you start nesting. I remember literally wanting to scrub baseboards on my hands and knees lol. I have zero desire to even do a load of laundry right now.

carrotsandpeas3 · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I worked up to (and past) my due date in my full time job. It was fine. I just got things done on evenings/weekends. Did the full nursery set up, made a quilt, etc etc. I am more worried about it this time with the other kid around, but my expectations for how much I will actually do is also much lower. As long as the kid has a place to sleep when he/she gets home, we will be fine!

morethanamama · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I normally work from home (even pre-covid) so with my first I made the decision to work up until birth and I was able to do so much while on my breaks (a bit different now with a toddler even though we have/had a sitter). However, I went into labor a week early...and kept telling my boss I was probably going past the due date, lol. It made for an interesting last minute wrap up. I didn't have the nursery completely set up, didn't even get the crib until he was born, since I knew he was staying in our room.

To be honest, it will be the same this time. H's company is renting a Snoo for us, so I will order that a couple of weeks before I am due. I do plan on taking a full week off before my due date and set that as my final week of work. Hopefully I go early again, but if not, at least I will have a full week to chill. CA gives us up to a paid month before my due date but I work for a small company so it seems a bit too much especially working from home. Not gonna lie, I would love all that time off!

Realistically I think 9/25 will be my last day, but I will confirm based on how things look at that point. If my placenta doesn't move, I am having a C-section, so that will be a whole different ballgame...

westslopemama · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I also worked up until I had my son. I was out sick with a stomach bug on a Thursday and then went into labor over the weekend so I never went back to work to finish up paperwork or anything. He was 3 weeks early so I definitely wasn’t expecting it to happen when it did.

I agree with @coldbrew that once you start nesting it will be easier for you to be motivated to get stuff done. I didn’t worry too much about getting the nursery set up since I knew he would be sleeping in a bassinet in the beginning. I just made sure I had a few outfits ready to go and his diaper supplies and that was really all I needed to prepare. I also did a lot of sewing projects leading up to his birth and I just did those after work.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

Thank you for the encouragement! I am a little stressed about it because with my first my nesting turned into a huge reorganization of our entire apartment... I am talking moving the furniture in OUR bedroom, cleaning out multiple closets, etc, so my husband is really hoping my urges are going to lead to our guest room and our current "dump" room being cleaned out this time... and I just can't see it yet because I'm still so tired all the time.

JLaVO888 · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason went into labor at work with both my kiddos! You get more energy in the peak of second trimester. I also suggest just doing it in little bits. Assemble a crib here, paint a wall there, find some cute decor one weekend. Whenever you are in the mood and feeling well.

ETA: Also remember all baby really needs to survive at first is pretty much something to sleep in, diapers and a car seat. It calmed my nerves so much to tell myself everything else is extra and bonus and if it wasn’t complete it was not the end of the world and baby would be just as loved.

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

@JLaVO888 That’s a very good point and intellectually I know that, but... 😂 I also remember how much of a zombie I was after the first was born and it seems laughable that I would be able to get anything done after baby comes! Really it seems like pregnancy is going faster than the first one and I had a dream the other night that I kept putting everything off and then the baby arrived and I hadn’t done ANYTHING. Worst case scenario we have big brother’s clothes that I can ask my mom to wash, we have size one diaper, and we have a pack n play with the insert that brings the bed part higher........

kalesix3 · April 2020

What did you STMs have for a hospital bag, did you buy something specific, or just use a travel bag, suitcase/carry-on etc?

carrotsandpeas3 · April 2020

@kalesix3 just a generic duffel bag for me. I think DH brought a carry on size suitcase. Nothing fancy needed!

kalesix3 · April 2020

@carrotsandpeas3 I think we'll use our carry on bag too, I wish I could afford to drop $300 on a cute leather hospital bag, but yeah I'm sure we'll make do without it 😉

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

@kalesix3 I bought something special, but it was just a weekender bag from Target like this. Worked perfectly for me and planning to use the same bag for # 2!

morethanamama · April 2020

@baseballismyfavoriteseason I have the same bag in a different print and it worked great for the hospital! I'd say definitely pack a sweater because at least at my hospital, the AC was crazy cold!

baseballismyfavoriteseason · April 2020

@morethanamama Mine is a different print too because it’s 2 years old now. But I had totally the opposite experience—I was so hot for weeks after giving birth. I kept turning the AC in the hospital room colder and the nurse got mad at me because it was too cold for the baby. 🙄

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