@pelomama that’s so hard. I’m so sorry she reacted that way. I’m sure in some time she’ll react a bit better. It sounds like you’re already giving her plenty of grace so that’s a start. She just need to take the time to process it all. In the mean time, we’re all here to “listen.”
@pelomama Wow, that is so so hard for all of you. I applaud your approach of texting her the news and giving her the best possible circumstances to receive the news; very respectable. The only thing I can say is that maybe she feels comfortable enough with you to express her true feelings and that she hadn't quite gotten to "happy" in 40 minutes. Your feelings are 10000% valid, but I'm just trying to make sense of her response too. I really hope she comes around with a little more time and when her transfer is successful.
I toured a birth center yesterday and I really liked it. Am I crazy for considering a birth center this time around? I had DS in a hospital and did not enjoy my experience...
Also, my first US is in 5 hours and I'm losing my mind and trying not to think about it. Ugh, why can't it just be now?????
@pelomama Congratulations on a successful ultrasound and your relationship is admirable that you can give such grace and empathy to your sister. What she's gone through is unimaginable, but hopefully, with time and healing you will be celebrating together soon.
@babyodo I'm sorry, your dog sounds like it is being an absolute drain, but "like a f*cking poop ninja" KILLED me!
@pelomama I am with @NME44 and also think it's good to give your sister time. Grief is a beast, and while I know for a fact you had your share when her son passed, I think it's probably still not the same. I think your sister is doing what she can to protect herself and that now means that she cannot be happy for you (at this very moment). They say fill your cup before you fill others'. She is probably trying to do the same. And on top of everything the IVF process makes everything more difficult. I know she shouldn't be surprised but as much as we prepare for something we can never know how exactly it would hit us.
I don't have siblings so I cannot imagine how hard it must be to feel shut down by someone you are so deeply connected to. Your baby deserves to be celebrated and you should not feel any guilt just because you're pregnant. Give her some space and try to celebrate the news with friends and other family. She will come around!
I know my case is completely different but my best friend is also trying for a second baby. She tends to feel insecure about all kinds of stuff and she recently told me her latest test was negative. She is a bit older than me, and she wants 3 kids, while I literally just recently decided to try for #2 and then be done. I told her I was going to test and she never even asked about how I'm doing anymore. Didn't ask about the results. I'm choosing to wait and tell most people until 11 weeks but I'm already expecting her to be upset, even if she were to get pregnant in the meantime. I think it's a bit silly personally since she never had issue conceiving, while I had a chemical a year before my son, so I'm sure it's just a matter of time (and she literally just started trying). But I'm accepting that maybe she's having a hard time with it all🤷🏻♀️
@tdevlindrye that's not crazy at all. Go with what you feel comfortable with and it will probably be a better and healthier experience for you and your baby. My sis was unhappy with her hospital delivery with her first, so she did an at-home water birth with her second. She said it was one of the best decisions of her life. She's also kind of a hippy, so...
@pelomama I agree with everyone else. I would be hurt, but I think she’s just really in a crappy spot right now. All the grace. Hopefully in a month she’s pregnant too and that will help both of you to keep moving forward.
@tdevlindrye good luck with your ultrasound! I think just research your options. A lot of people love having a birth center as opposed to a hospital. It’s not an option where I live unfortunately.
@pelomama *TW* I had a miscarriage in 2017 and then found out 2 months later that my sis in-law was pregnant and her baby was due a month after my EDD. It was hard for me to be excited for her and I didn’t want to hear anything about the baby for a long time. It was also hard seeing my in-laws so excited about it when we were supposed to be having the first grandchild. It took me awhile to recover from my loss and become excited for them. *end TW*
@tdevlindrye I had my son at a birthing center and it was a great experience. I’d just find out how long transfer time is to the hospital in case things don’t go as planned. Also, find out if they have admitting privileges to the hospital so they can continue your care if you have to be transferred or if you are unable to deliver at the birthing center due to pregnancy complications or preterm labor.
@tdevlindrye you definitely aren't crazy! I have appointments set up for the next two Wednesdays to meet the staff at two birth centers near me and I'm so excited. They do have privileges at local hospitals to continue your care if you risk out of the birth center, and they can be there if you just transfer to the hospital during labor. Neither birth center transfers to the hospital where I lost my daughter so it feels like all my bases are covered.
@MJDsquared I have had that issue with BabyCenter but not the Bump. I am 7 weeks today. BabyCenter says that I am 7 weeks 1 day today, and it said 6 weeks 7 days yesterday. The Bump says that I am 7 weeks 0 days today, and it said 6 weeks 6 days yesterday.
@MJDsquared I’m pretty sure the bump starts at X+0, my bump app is matching up with Ovia for 7+3. Babycenter on the other hand is on drugs, it says I’m 7+4. Maybe you entered your due date wrong?
So I actually just went and looked and it says 7+6. But in the push notification it sent today it said 7+7. So some glitch in the notifications, I guess.
@NME44 4 weeks feels like forever when you’re waiting for that first US! Mine is still forever away. Like 6 weeks. 😫
I’m actually a lot more concerned with October being the start of peek Flu season. I really hope the flu shot is calculated better this year. It totally failed me this flu season.
Yes toddlers smell weakness for sure! And they are already 20000% times worse for their moms than any other being on the planet.
Had a mini internal freak out at lunch today. Decided to take both kids to eat solo at chick fil a (file that under my FFFC). DD comes running out of the play area saying she needs to poop. Great. Grab DS who *surprise* also has shit all up his back as well. And as I’m standing there elbow deep in shit the thought crossed my mind “how the f*** would I be doing this with a newborn strapped to me while I’ve got one screaming I’m done from the toilet and the other is trying to cat claw his way off the changing table with poop all the way up to his hair.” Then this horrific image of TWO Newborns strapped to me flashed through my mind. I shut that image down real fast or I may have been gone full blown panic attack. I decided I’m never leaving my house again come October. 🤷🏼♀️
Then...... I just googled something that freaked me the f out. Why, why I still google anything is beyond me. See spoiler for fun breastfeeding while becoming pregnant fact. 😳 My US cannot come soon enough.
@JLaVO888 Just the thought of having twins scares me too. There are three things that I want to see on my ultrasound which are a heartbeat (at a good rate), good growth, and only one baby in there.
Just jumping in to say hi! We had two kiddos on school vacation this week, my 7 month old has torticollis and plagiocephaly and just graduated from wearing her helmet this week, my oldest is away at a church camp, and mine and MH’s schedules have been a little extra bananas! Plus, we’ve been slowly telling people about baby number 8 and while we’ve had a lot of support from friends, we’ve also been met by a lot of disappointment/criticism from close relatives and it’s really hard to feel excited when it feels like no one else is.
I have been trying to keep up with reading posts, just not always having the mental clarity to respond.
@JLaVO888 I have twin siblings and I truly don’t remember many outings before the babies could walk and function at least somewhat independently. I don’t know how my mom did it.
I got a positive much earlier this pregnancy than I have in past pregnancies which has made me paranoid about twins.
@JLaVO888 my DD had the flu in October this year so I feel ya on that. I somehow feel a little better with an October baby than my previous August though because she won't be starting daycare until January (my August baby started in October). Not that January is ideal, but at least halfway through the winter. Our first winter with my daughter was so awful sickness-wise!
@JLaVO888 wow, so not only am I still breastfeeding my son, but I’m also over 35 and your chance of having twins increases with age! I keep telling myself that my symptoms are too mild to be having twins!
I’m also nervous about having a baby during the start of flu season. Make sure to get those flu shots while pregnant! It makes me more nervous because DD1 will be in 1st grade and likely to bring home lots of germs.
I slipped up in front of DD1 while talking to MH about being pregnant. So now she knows, much earlier than I wanted her to. She is so excited though. I called her on my way home from work last night and she said “I love you mommy and the baby in your tummy” 🥰
@westslopemama I have three sets of twins on my maternal line so I have those higher odds as well.
We told DD early on both times and I think it’s really helped a lot. When I’m not feeling well she knows why and it gives her a lot of time to process and talk to us about it. She’s been so excited and so sweet. She rubs my tummy when I don’t feel good and she will bring me a blanket and pay my back when I’m not feeling well. It melts my heart.
@JLaVO888 I feel your panic! One of my best friends just entered her 2nd tri with twins. She has an 8yo from a previous marriage. Right before I had a positive test, I may have said something along the lines of having twins and a toddler would be my worst nightmare. We have a co-worker who has 8mo old twins and a 3.5 yo and she has literally fallen off the face of the earth. I had a dream, no, nightmare, that I was getting an US and there were 3!!! I woke up thinking we have to get new cars.
@mkp0903 I have a 4 year old and a 1 year old here in a few weeks. So twins this pregnancy would mean 3 under 2 AND a toddler for me. 😳 I’d need new cars and new sanity....Maybe a wife and another husband too. 🤷🏼♀️
Add me to the “terrified of twins” group. I BF my son for the last time either the day before or day we conceived. BUT i had an ultrasound this week and I made her double check - just 1!!
i just read that Pete buttigieg dropped out of the presidential race and now I am sad that I have to find a new candidate. Not a huge fan of any of the other 3 front runners.
@westslopemama I am so nervous about having twins! I feel like I have several of the factors that make twins more likely. I have to wait until April to find out what's going on in there!
@pelomama my H was a huge supporter. I'm surprised he dropped off before Tuesday though! I don't want to get too political but even Bloomberg right now (whom I despise) is better than another 4 years 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 excited to vote for the very first time on Tuesday!
@pelomama You aren’t a bad sister or mama because you conceived!! It sounds like no matter how you shared it would have been a hurtful thing for her grief to hear. Grief does that kind of thing... clouding our perspective of others joy. I agree with others, give it time! I’m sorry you’ve lost your text and hang out sister in the midst of a season you need it as well. Hoping she can process the pain and come back to stand with you.
Re: Randoms: Week of 2/24-3/1
Also, my first US is in 5 hours and I'm losing my mind and trying not to think about it. Ugh, why can't it just be now?????
@babyodo I'm sorry, your dog sounds like it is being an absolute drain, but "like a f*cking poop ninja" KILLED me!
I don't have siblings so I cannot imagine how hard it must be to feel shut down by someone you are so deeply connected to. Your baby deserves to be celebrated and you should not feel any guilt just because you're pregnant. Give her some space and try to celebrate the news with friends and other family. She will come around!
I know my case is completely different but my best friend is also trying for a second baby. She tends to feel insecure about all kinds of stuff and she recently told me her latest test was negative. She is a bit older than me, and she wants 3 kids, while I literally just recently decided to try for #2 and then be done. I told her I was going to test and she never even asked about how I'm doing anymore. Didn't ask about the results. I'm choosing to wait and tell most people until 11 weeks but I'm already expecting her to be upset, even if she were to get pregnant in the meantime. I think it's a bit silly personally since she never had issue conceiving, while I had a chemical a year before my son, so I'm sure it's just a matter of time (and she literally just started trying). But I'm accepting that maybe she's having a hard time with it all🤷🏻♀️
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
Married 6/15/13
BFP #1 5/8/16, EDD 12/31/16- DD born 9/10/16 at 24 weeks
~In our hearts forever~
BFP #2 10/14/17, EDD 7/1/18
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
DD - 12/28/17
TTC #2 3/2019
BFP 5/2019 || MC - D&C 5/2019
BFP 2/2020 || EDD 10/10/2020
I’m actually a lot more concerned with October being the start of peek Flu season. I really hope the flu shot is calculated better this year. It totally failed me this flu season.
i just read that Pete buttigieg dropped out of the presidential race and now I am sad that I have to find a new candidate. Not a huge fan of any of the other 3 front runners.
DD | 7/3/2015
DS | 2/20/2018
LO#3 | EDD: 10/11/2020 TEAM GREEN!