BTDT - Questions for STM's - Page 5 — The Bump
May 2020 Moms

BTDT - Questions for STM's

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Re: BTDT - Questions for STM's

  • I, also, went into labor expecting to get the epidural. However, a lot of hospitals don’t allow you to get it right away so you’ll want coping mechanisms for early labor. Also, my labor ended up being so fast that they never got the bloodwork results to know if it even cooould get the epidural. It helped having at least some ideas/suggestions of how to work through the contractions and pushing. 

    Furthermore, our hospital also talked about the tub availabilities and other accessories like that in conjunction with pain management. That information can be sometimes applied to early labor while at home even. 
    Me: 28   DH: 29
    Dx: PCOS
    TTGP: 9/2015
    Started at RE 5/2016
    *TW*
    BFP: 7/31/16  MC: 8/20/16
    BFP: 12/1/16   DD born: 7/30/17
    TTGP #2: 6/2018
    BFP: 4/24/19  MC: 5/19/19
    CP: 6/14/19
    DH's Dx: low morphology
    BFP: 9/12/19   EDD: 5/23/2020


    m6aguaheyybrittsoprano19
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  • I took the three classes that Kaiser recommended, which were breastfeeding, labor and delivery, and newborn care. There was useful information in all three of them. In the L&D one, we got to play around with several different objects/strategies that are used for pain management. Like others have said, I already knew I was going to want an epidural, but it was helpful to know how to cope with pain in early labor before going to the hospital and before getting the epidural. Also, in the newborn class they talked to us about some important legal things like how to apply for baby's birth certificate, social security number/card, and the timeline we had for adding them on to our insurance plan.
    heyybritt
  • @soprano19 I have my newborn care class tomorrow and my BF class at the end of the month, but no Kaiser facility near me even offers the L&D one. I don't know how but I could not find a class within 40 miles. Do you think the care class and breastfeeding class are enough? I'm contemplating finding an independent birthing class and get reimbursed through FSA. 
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
  • @drkoyya honestly, I wasn't freaked out about giving birth until we did the L&D class. I feel like they just talked about all the negatives of every coping mechanism. The main thing I took away from it was when to go to the hospital, which they said was 5-1-1 (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute each, for 1 hour consistently). I would recommend reading some people's birth stories to kind of prepare yourself mentally for all of the different possibilities, and I would go on a tour of the hospital where you plan to deliver. You don't *need* the L&D class, especially if you can't easily make it work in your schedule.
    drkoyya
  • @soprano19 Good to know, thanks! I plan on doing the hospital tour and I trust that my Dr. and the nurses will tell me what I need to do when its time. I'll just do my own homework. I don't need a whole class that will just freak me out more. 
    Me: 28  DH: 29
    FTM
    BFP 08/25/19, EDD 05/04/20
    soprano19
  • @drkoyya I’m the opposite and all the information was/is reassuring to me. They showed forceps, the vacuum, the head monitor for the baby, the peanut ball, etc. if I had needed those things, I would have been much more comfortable seeing them for the second time during labor rather than them pulling them out for the first time while in labor. Like if the doctor walked in with huge salad tongs and said “let’s get this baby out” without knowing what forceps are, I probably would have freaked out in the moment. 
    Me: 28   DH: 29
    Dx: PCOS
    TTGP: 9/2015
    Started at RE 5/2016
    *TW*
    BFP: 7/31/16  MC: 8/20/16
    BFP: 12/1/16   DD born: 7/30/17
    TTGP #2: 6/2018
    BFP: 4/24/19  MC: 5/19/19
    CP: 6/14/19
    DH's Dx: low morphology
    BFP: 9/12/19   EDD: 5/23/2020


    drkoyyaruby696shamrocandrollbananapanda
  • Anyone have any particular belly bands that they were fans of? I'm looking for one that would be good for easing lower back pain. 
  • Did you find friends/family generally receptive if you ask that they have a current vaccine against pertussis prior to visiting the baby?  How did you handle this?
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    heyybritt
  • Did you find friends/family generally receptive if you ask that they have a current vaccine against pertussis prior to visiting the baby?  How did you handle this?
    For me, not really. The answer I got was that they had gotten their booster within the last 10 years (which I believe means tetanus is good, but I'm under the impression that the pertussis needs to be more like every 2 years? but maybe I'm wrong), without checking, and then they moved on.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @pourmeanothermocktail I guess I'm thinking most adults would not necessarily have even had a booster within the last 10 years.  I know my husband and I both need our vaccine boosters before baby comes along ourselves.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    pourmeanothermocktail
  • I won't lie I didn't ask. I just asked if people were vaccinated and moved on. Also he was a December baby so I was more pushy with the flu shot. 
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
    drkoyya
  • @mamaj1220 I wonder if I want to even ask.  I guess I'll see what most people say and see who actually wants to visit.  I know that both my parents and in-laws had this conversation in recent time when my nieces/nephews were born, so I can find out if they are vaccinated and the question won't seem out of place.  I feel it is older generations are more taken aback by it because that might not be how things were done when they had kids.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • @pirateduck if it would you more comfortable with people being around and holding your newborn by all means ask! With DS1 the LC didn't want too many people holding him while we were trying to figure out breastfeeding anyways so it worked in my favor. 
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
    pirateduck
  • @pirateduck I'm also a first time mom, but I can tell you I have just been straight up asking. I've also made everyone aware, that I think will be in frequent early contact, that if they want to hold the baby they need to have the vaccine/booster.
    drkoyyaheyybritt
  • @mamaj1220 I'm not sure how many people will realistically come visit in the early days just because of how far away I live from most people.  I also think it's pretty easy to decline visits early on if wanted for time to get used to the routine and lack of sleep, etc.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • @pourmeanothermocktail I guess I'm thinking most adults would not necessarily have even had a booster within the last 10 years.  I know my husband and I both need our vaccine boosters before baby comes along ourselves.
    I'm guessing they hadn't either. And even if they had, it's been 4 years since then now, and they probably didn't get in again in those 4 years either. 

    Every care provider I've had gives it to moms at 28 weeks gestation, to give mom a chance to make antibodies and pass along to baby before birth too. My provides with my first gave it to husband too. So at least we're covered.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    mamaj1220
  • catem07catem07 member
    edited January 17
    We only pushed dtap/tdap on our parents. 

    Also they don’t need a Pertussis booster, per CDC. @pirateduck @pourmeanothermocktail.  

    “Adults 19 years old or older (who are not pregnant) should get only one dose of the whooping cough vaccine for adolescents and adults (called Tdap vaccine). If an adult will be around your baby and has already had Tdap vaccine, CDC does not recommend vaccination for them again.“

    DD #1 April 2017
    expecting mid-late May 2020

    ruby696shamrocandrollpourmeanothermocktail
  • I only asked DH and my parents to be up to date on the flu and tdap vaccine. Basically the people who would be around DD the most as they were helping with care taking. DD was born at the end of November. DH never ended up getting the tdap vaccine.

    I believe it is pretty standard for doctors to give pregnant people the tdap vaccine. I was pregnant in October 2015 and got the vaccine, the pregnancy ended a month later. Then I was pregnant again a few months later (with DD) and they had me get the tdap vaccine again at some point even though it had been less than a year since my last one. Mainly to pass some on to the baby. I am assuming I will end up getting it again this time around.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

    mokay19ruby696
  • @pirateduck when I was pregnant with DD I reached out to all of our parents and siblings and said, "Hey, just FYI, please make sure your TDaP is up to date before she's born." Luckily all of our family believes in science and were all cool with the reminder and with getting updated if they needed it. That was just under three years ago, so I think they're probably all still fine. They also gave me one while pregnant as a precaution, since it also helps protect the baby.
    bananapandaruby696shamrocandroll
  • I asked my parents to get it and my brothers - MHs family already had everything covered since DS was the 4th grandchild. I do carry sanitizer spray stuff and ask everyone to wash hands then use the spray before even getting close to us and at larger gatherings I always wore DS so others holding him wasn’t really an option. 
    pirateduckdrkoyya
  • @chewie5990 Yes to all the hand sanitizer, I make everyone use it.
    Me:30 DF:29
    DS1:Dec 13
    DS2:May 2020
  • Question for baby gates and safety: Did you put a gate at the top and bottom of the stairs or just one? Bedrooms are upstairs, so will definitely have a top of stairs gate, but wondering if we definitely need one at the bottom too. Also our house has a step between the entry and living room and between the kitchen and family room. Do we gate the one step or do we teach baby how to safely navigate the step? 
  • @sunshinesea22 We have a gate at bottom, but a door on top of stairs. If your main hanging out space is at bottom of stairs, I highly suggest a gate down there, so baby doesn't escape and start going up the stairs, which can lead to falls. 

    If the single step is carpeted on bottom, I might have an unpopular view, but I you've leave it. A single step is SUCH a great way for them to practice and learn stairs with only small consequence of falling. We usually have our kids safe for up and down within about 4 weeks of crawling, because we practice. But still have gates up until about 2 years old in order to contain them while I need to do something else.
    _______________________________________________
    Me: 33
    DH: 32
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 
    Team green turned PINK!
    Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
    sunshinesea22lisush
  • @sunshinesea22 I second the no gate for one step. Baby will learn much quicker than you think especially if you show him how you want him to navigate it. I’m personally okay with letting my kids go anywhere in the house and don’t gate anything except the steps. We only gated top but we just have basement steps and the basement is one large room so if he tried to escape up the stairs, we surely would have known. 
    pourmeanothermocktailsunshinesea22lisush
  • @sunshinesea22 You have a while until you need to figure out gates. At the earliest when the baby is 4-6 months and starting to crawl, some crawl much later. We did a variety of gates throughout these first 3 years. When we first started we had a dog, so we had a gate sectioning off the living room and baby proofed the living room so the baby could be there and the dog in the kitchen/dining area. We had to put a gate up near the stairs so our dog did not have access since our cat was upstairs. Eventually we rehomed our dog and we just had a large play yard gate in the living room (think Rugrats, but a normal gate, not an accordion one), sometimes in a circle and sometimes to the wall to create a bigger section. Then eventually around walking stage we put the play yard gate away and just did a gate at the bottom of the stairs (leaving access to the bottom step because the way our banister is) and a child lock on the door to the basement stairs. We never needed a gate at the top of the stairs because DD was in her crib and couldn't climb out, also we shut her door (fire safety) for naps and bedtime. Now that she is older she has mastered the stairs on her own and we have no gates up.
    _______________________________________________
    TTC#1 July 2015 
    • BFP: 9/16/15 — MC: 11/8/15 Blighted Ovum
    • BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
    TTC#2 April 2019 
    • BFP: 9/12/19 — EDD 5/15/20

    sunshinesea22
  • @m6agua I know it’s a while until the crawling stage, but our banister is not exactly gate/baby friendly, so we want to replace it and figured I would get feedback to help with planning. When we bought the house our inspector said the design would not meet today’s code due to large openings and potential for entanglement or falls. 

    Here’s what we’re working with now


    m6agua
  • @sunshinesea22 my staircase doesn’t even have a railing yet, but it’s on our to do list once baby starts moving around independently. We moved in this August so our priorities are still furniture and paint, but I see your concerns. I’ve had friends over with 18 month olds and I get so nervous about them going near the stairs. 

  • @sunshinesea22 at work we had a similar concern with a railing with large gaps...  we were able to affix a piece of metal grid/fencing over it instead of replacing the whole thing...  I will try and get a photo for you as I'm walking that way in a bit.
    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


    sunshinesea22
  • @sunshinesea22 here’s a pic they put the grid right over the existing railings...


    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • @babyfoxden10 Our stairs down to our basement are very similar to that.  Because of the way the stairs just go right up through the ceiling, a contractor told me putting in a railing would be tricky and then he quoted me $5k to do it!  We still haven't done it and DS is now 3, haha.  We have a tall gate at the top, and we always had him supervised or gated off from the stairs when he was downstairs.  Now he's good enough with the stairs that it's not a big concern, but he's always been very cautious, so we might have to do something if kid #2 ends up being more adventurous.  I think I might have a custom book shelf put in there and have part of it match the angle of the staircase to create a railing of sorts on that side of the staircase.  
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


  • @babyfoxden10 and @shamrocandroll it's not that complicated and I cannot believe the price quote you got!  My stairs at home are totally open on both sides, but have a railing on both sides, nothing fancy, but it works.  I'll have to remember to send a photo when I get home.  Actually I found an old photo online from before we bought the house...  this shows the stairs and the railing.

    TTC since October 2016
    CP April 2017
    D&C to remove polyp, unexplained infertility, multiple rounds clomid, trigger, iui, letrozole
    MC July 2019
    PREGNANT WITH RAINBOW BABY GIRL, NATURAL CYCLE, August 2019
    FTM @39 years young Due May 13, 2020


  • @shamrocandroll that’s nuts! I can’t imagine paying 5k for a railing! @pirateduck We have considered doing like a piece of plexiglass on the stairs side to physically block the openings but not change the look. I used to hate the 70s swirls, but now I don’t even really notice it. The hard part is it would be difficult to modify it with additional metal without it looking weird. I wouldn’t mind just a plain white railing and balusters, but not if it costs 5k!
  • @pirateduck It's hard to explain, but my stair pitch and location makes it tricky.  It's not just your average staircase, and it goes up through the low basement ceiling about 1/2 way up and then continues up, so the angles are all weird.  Our railing around the top where the big hole coming up through the 2nd floor also has spacing that's too wide between the posts, which can be a hazard for heads getting stuck.  That railing is solid oak and we couldn't match the spindles perfectly, so would have had to replace all of those at the top as well, which was part of the quote.  Instead, I put a clear plastic cover around the top railing to address the spacing issue, and I'm thinking of the built in book case, which would serve the purpose of giving us more storage space and also close in that side of the staircase.  
    **TW**
    Me: 34 | H: 39
    Married Sept. 2013
    DS: Nov 2016
    MMC: 11/16/18 (9w6d)
    CP: 2/3/19 (5w3d)
    BFP!  8/24/19 at 12 DPO
    EDD: 5/3/19  *please stick, baby*


  • @shamrocandroll eek $5k! I was thinking of doing something like a lattice when the time comes. Railings can be pricey also depending on the material. It would look funny to have vertical railings because of the way it runs into the ceiling. 
    shamrocandroll
  • We have a metal railing that meets code (spindles are very close together) but there is a gap at the bottom that makes me nervous for a crawler. We actually zip tied a flat baby play yard gate to it and used that as our stair gate as well. It’s still there even though DS is 4 but once we found out about baby.... why take it down 🤷‍♀️ I might be able to find a pic 
  • Glad to glad to know I’m not alone in the railing/stair safety predicament! I appreciate everyone’s feedback!
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