Childcare

m6agua · January 2020

I figured I would start it out sort of like the Product Spotlights! Feel free to use or not use these prompts.

What type of childcare are you planning?

Any previous experiences?

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA?

Anything else you want to share?

mamaqdubu · January 2020

Currently I have DS1 and DS2 in full time daycare, which includes pre-school. They will be there until kindergarten. We recently changed to this daycare which is slightly more expensive than our former, but it includes all food which is a game changer for our morning routine. They also have sheep & baby chickens on site which the kids love taking care of!

I'll have the new baby in the same place after maternity leave is over. I think the costs are about $280-$300/week for the 2&3 yr old, but an infant will be like $350/week until 12 months old (Connecticut pricing). It's going to be tight for that first year, but after that DS1 will go to kindergarten and the baby will be decreased to the lower cost. Once daycare for all 3 kids is over I'm going to feel rich!! It's going to be more than my mortgage for that first year.

I can do up to $5k/year in an FSA. Normally I have it accumulate in the account and take it as a lump sum claim at the end of the year to help w/ Christmas expenses and start the year with a little boost.

ruby696 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? DS will start kindergarten in the fall, thank god. DD will be in her last year at day care and the twins will start in the infant room at the same day care.

Any previous experiences? We used an in home person with DS and DD when they were infants and she was great - I absolutely trusted her with my kids. But her house was too small as the kids got older so we switched to where we're at now, which is also super close to my house. I cannot say enough for a quality day care center. Each room has multiple providers with one specific person assigned to each kid, but everyone helping all the kids, if that makes sense. They have a beautiful, quasi-country outdoor play area, which has a "big kids" play area and a "little kids" play area. The kids get to play outside in water when it's hot, they get dirty, they do so many crafts and learn so much academically. Even though it will practically bankrupt us to have three there at once, it's so worth it.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? Our kids only go three days a week, so my numbers are based on that. The infant room is $950 a month, per child and the older room DD will be in is $650. There is a 10% discount for each additional child you enroll after the first. We are using DCFSA, and it helps a little. But we meet the full $5k after 2-3 months. I wish we could do more than $5k, but oh well.

Anything else you want to share? I know people can be nervous about day care, but if you can find a good fit, your child will get so much out of it. And they are so well prepared for elementary school. I found ours by word of mouth. A trusted friend recommended it to me and I went with her to pick up her son one day. I totally fell in love with the place. Once I signed my kids up, I realized several other people I know send their kids there too. If you don't have word of mouth recommendations, check out local mom groups for info.

Eta: spelling

mokay19 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning?
We’re planning on the baby to go to the same facility that DD is about to move to next week. They provide food and have a good learning structure that goes up to 4K.

Any previous experiences? DD has been in daycare since 9 weeks and she loves it! She spent about 6 months at home with DH when he got out of the military and we moved across country and she did fine but she thrives around other kids.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA?
Our daycare that’s we’re leaving was $310 per week for 2-3 year olds. This new one will be $228 per week for the same age group (I’m excited for that extra money to prepare for baby!)
I signed up to use the dependent case FSA this year since we’ll definitely meet that amount. Unfortunately, no one at my job really knows the details about it so I’m going to be learning as I go and hoping the daycare center will have some assistance!

Anything else you want to share? When finding a place, I made sure to bring DD with me to meet the people. Also, it was a must for me to have the food included. I barely feel like I have time to pack my lunch let alone a balanced meal for DD. If they are licensed (or something) then they have to offer a variety of food groups so I know she’ll be getting a balanced diet.

catem07 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? We have our daughter in a center and new baby will go there too. Goes from infant up to pre-k. There are 4 classrooms divided by age.

Any previous experiences? We've always used center-based care. The conveniences are paramount--consistent and extensive hours, rarely close for bad weather, little change of an emergency upending things (I've seen all of those be problems with home day-based day cares). Honestly we've had great experiences at both centers. My daughter has learned a lot and we feel totally comfortable sending her. She's happy when we drop her off and happy when we pick her up.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA?
In Boston it was $400/week for an infant. In Maine it's $250. We pay $200 for our toddler now. We use a Dependent Care FSA and will squeeze the rest out of a stone...Hopefully my daughter gets into free pre-k for 4 year olds for SY 2021-2022 (lottery) but even if she does we'll have to pay for aftercare.

IME home daycares are slightly cheaper than centers.

Anything else you want to share? The first step I'd recommend if you don't know where to start is find your state's list of licensed providers, and contact them from there. It's hard to find out about the existence of some home day cares online or even by driving around because they don't have to advertise. Spots are often filled by word of mouth. I would not send my children anywhere unlicensed (but would consider having a nanny in my own home). A lot of SAHMs in my state take in 1-2 extra children (this is legal) to watch for some extra income, but they aren't insured, etc.

Oh also both of our centers have provided two meals and a snack which is a GODSEND. It's not the most gourmet stuff, but it saves money and time.

ETA: My mom will watch the baby for two months (Sept and Oct) until she starts daycare, so she'll be between 5-6 months when she starts. DD1 started at 3.5 months which was totally fine, but I'm looking forward to saving the money this time around.

catem07 · January 2020

@mokay19 You need to find out who runs your dependent care FSA. It's usually (IME) the same company that does regular FSA or HSA. So like Benefit Strategies or WageWorks. Log into your account with them and submit receipts from your childcare provider to get the money. It's best if the receipt has an EIN or SSN (if your provider is a nanny or something).

shamrocandroll · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? Baby will attend the same daycare center as DS1

Any previous experiences? We've had DS1 in a daycare center about a mile from our house since he was 12 weeks old. It went through a rough transition when the old director left and it took them a while to find a new director (the owners suck at communication and the logistics of running a daycare) but the new director is so amazing and we're so glad we stuck through it because we love it even more now than with the old director. Thankfully none of the issues were related to the kids' safety or well being, or we would have pulled him.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? We're in rural NH and our daycare is (I think) going to be around $500/week for 2 kids before discounts. We then get a 2.5% discount for paying quarterly and another 5% discount for having 2 kids enrolled, so that will help a lot! I have an FSA through work and usually take the lump sum at the end of the year to boost our savings account or pay off some Christmas bills.

Anything else you want to share? Personally, I've found it helpful to automatically withdraw the weekly tuition amount into an online high interest savings account. That way, it's gone before I can consider spending it on something else, and then quarterly, I make withdrawals to pay the tuition bill. I love having DS in daycare! He's pretty shy, but he gets a lot of socialization in a safe space at daycare, and he has learned so much that he probably wouldn't have learned if he was at home or with a nanny. I also love having the center environment because I know ahead of time when they'll be open and closed, and I only have to deal with a handful of closing days for in-service. I don't have to deal with last minute calls form my provider saying they're sick and have to close for the day, since they have the flexibility of several staff members. Another tip: If you can help it, don't deplete all of your paid time off for maternity leave, and have an agreement ahead of time with your partner about how you'll share staying home with the baby when they're sick. It will happen A LOT the first 2 winters, and it sucks, but it gets better!

mokay19 · January 2020

@catem07 thank you! Our FSA is WageWorks so hopefully it’s the same to keep them easy to access and the upload process the same!

m6agua · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? Daycare center, the same one as DD, But honestly I would like to keep the baby in home for the first year if possible and then put him in daycare. We have also talked about changing DD to the Montessori near by our house, but I don't really want to do 2 drop offs in opposite directions. Also our daycare is right next to an elementary school and coordinates care with the classes there when kids reach school age. On top of all that my parents watch DD 2 days/week. My mom is going down to 2 days of work instead of 3 in March and both my parents will be retiring at the end of the year. I don't want to rely on them completely for both kids, but I really need to talk about all of the options with them.

Any previous experiences? With DD I was with her for 12 weeks, then we had a family friend watch her in our house when needed. DH was working retail and a lot of evening shifts starting at 1 or 2. So we really didn't need a whole lot of childcare. Besides the family friend my mom went down to part time and she watched/s DD 2 days a week. Eventually our family friend watched DD at her home, then she went on maternity leave when DD was 1 year old. We took that opportunity to shop around as we wanted to go with someone new all together. We toured many daycares and in-homes and I went with an in-home for part time. We LOVED her. DD was there for about 1.5 months when the provider informed us her H got a new job and would work from home, so she would no longer be doing in-home. We had 2 weeks (over Christmas) to find somewhere new for DD. We toured a few more daycares and found one sort of near our house that seemed to be a good fit. DD has been there 3 days/week since she was 13 months old and loves it! She is now doing a 3K program there in the mornings and regular daycare the other days.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? I am in Wisconsin in a decent size city (not the larger ones though) and cost of living is lower here compared to a lot of places. We do 3 days per week and DD was $150/week until age 2, then it was $141/ week for age 2, now at age 3 we are paying $132/week. She has 2 meals included (breakfast and lunch) as well as 2-3 snacks per day. At age 3 now she is doing 3 year old preschool in the mornings and that is also included in the rate. Although there is an annual fee for the daycare and for preschool, but I am pretty sure combined they are under $200.

We have used a Dependent Care FSA each year DD has been in daycare. Our tax person advised that this was a better option for us over claiming the tax credit when we file our taxes. We changed jobs several times so we have had 3 different companies that facilitate our DCFSA's but always do the $5,000 max each year. They all functioned mostly the same. I get paid bi-weekly (26 checks/year) so the amount is divided out and $192 is taken out of each check (pre-tax) and put into the DCFSA. I have to pay daycare up front and file a reimbursement claim with the DCFSA company. Basically I can choose when I want to be reimbursed. I usually wait until there is enough in the account to reimburse me for either 2 or 4 weeks. I was able to set up direct deposit with all of the companies, so the money goes right into one of our accounts instead of waiting for a check. I think all of the companies required specifics on the receipt (i.e company name, dates that payment was for, etc), some of them I could just fill out information, print a claim form and have the daycare manager sign it with their tax ID number to avoid the receipts. This was much easier than getting receipts in the correct format. All of the companies I was able to submit online or through an app. So I could take pictures or scan in the forms or receipts. The company we've had for this year is amazing. I can fill out the claim info on the app (daycare centers name, child's name, date range I'm being reimbursed for, and amount) then my provider just signs it directly on my phone and I submit it. This is by far the fastest and most convenient one I've had, and the money gets deposited the quickest. I'm really sad because my employer is changing the company for next year, so I know it wont be as easy.

Anything else you want to share? One of the things I looked for in a center was their food and meal plans. A lot of daycares are government funded for meals so they have to fit the government guidelines for nutrition and you cannot send food for your child (this is for when they are older and not drinking formula or breastmilk). I have learned a lot about nutrition and health over my postpartum journey to heal my severe hormonal imbalances and nutrient depletion and I will say that I do not agree with the government guidelines. So we were lucky to find a place that offers the meals, follows the government guidelines but is not funded by them. So we were able to send they type of food for DD that we wanted her eating. The other thing I recommend is touring all the possible locations that will be convenient for you, even if they fall under the same company. We toured one location near my work for our center and did not care for it, then we toured the one by our house and loved it! It is amazing the differences between locations!

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? Unlike many of the posters above, we are thinking we will switch it up this summer for our care. Most likely baby will be home with an au pair for the first 1-2 years and then in local daycare. DD will hopefully get into a local preschool where she can go 4 days a week and spend one day a week home with her baby sister.

Any previous experiences? DD was in daycare as of 4.5 months. Where we were the ratio is 4:1 and while I think she was perfectly safe, I didn’t really like it. Would prefer this kiddo get more individual attention. DD switched to a different daycare this year and we love it, but cost for two is insane, and I have the same concern about ratio. Plus au pair gives us flexibility to have DD stay home if she is sick (a frequent occurrence) without H or I needing to stay home. Last year I missed so much work due to baby illness.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? We use the dependent care FSA at the max and withdraw monthly and try to put it toward our savings (although sometimes put toward other things). Daycare costs here are insane.

Anything else you want to share? Once you have the baby, you may see your options with new eyes. It’s good to visit again once baby is born to check things out and see what you will be most comfortable with. And don’t be afraid to change your mind / go with your gut.

rachelg777 · January 2020

@adventuresawait2 We thought about an au pair this year and I interviewed a few through the company we planned to use. We ended up going an alternate route but I'll be interested to hear your experience!

tj_2 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning?

MIL is a year away from retirement but will be quitting her job and moving in with us to take care of baby. We looked into daycare and realized it was way too expensive. I would not be comfortable sending baby to an in home service and we saw many reviews about daycare centers where children were plopped in front of iPads for hours. We visited an excellent daycare early on in the pregnancy and if MIL was not an option I'd be happy to spend the money to send baby there. We are nervous about MIL moving in but keep telling ourselves what a great financial burden daycare would be. Prices go down after the first 2 years, may start sending child to the daycare part time once they reach one and then full time at 2....but we may have another child by then and so MIL would need to be around for that.

DH and I have flexibility with our jobs but daycare has set part time plans that wouldn't work for us (they give the option of M/W/F or Tu/Th- we would need Tu-Th). This may be something we ask them about once it's enrollment time.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA?
Southern California and cost seems to be around $500/week for full-time care...it includes diapers but not food. I am also happy about MIL moving in because I don't think daycare will deal with cloth diapers. No dependant FSA available through our jobs.

Anything else you want to share?
I read on some blogs that daycares in big cities can have ridiculous wait times and found that to be true in our case at least. I saw parents that were about to deliver be told the wait time for their baby may be 5+ months. Get the daycare stuff done as soon as possible if that's your only option.

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

@rachelg777 what did you end up doing? Our other thought has been nanny share, but setting it up and logistics seem stressful.

shamrocandroll · January 2020

Oh also!!! I recommend doing a couple of trial days before you go back to work. We did two half days to ease both of us into it, and it was soooo reassuring during a very emotionally difficult time for me!

rachelg777 · January 2020

@adventuresawait2 We went with a small daycare since we only had one at the time but are still keeping au pair as an option in the future. Not sure. We also thought about nanny share but ultimately decided the cost wasn't worth the actual care. However, I do have several friends who do nanny shares and it works out well for them!

catem07 · January 2020

@adventuresawait2 Do you live in a relatively populated area? Nanny shares were popular in Boston but I can see them being trickier in areas that aren't so dense.

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

@rachelg777 cool. Will keep you posted! I’m hoping we find something good that works

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

@catem07 live in MD in the suburbs of DC. I think it’s pretty popular here, but the process of finding the nanny, finding the other family and getting the timing right seems tough.

pirateduck · January 2020

@catem07 what do you mean daycares vs centers? Is this not the same thing. I'm totally confused. Do you mean someone who does daycare in their home vs. a school type setting? Or is there something else I'm missing?

Also is your pricing per day, per week, or per month?

pirateduck · January 2020

@tj_2 My MIL recently went to live near my BIL and SIL to be close to and help care for the kiddos. My husband has mentioned her coming here next. I'm not sure if this is his idea or hers. I don't think either of us would want her to move in with us, however, if we paid her rent on another place nearby it would be cheaper than daycare and provide childcare flexibility. I'm not convinced I want her raising my child, but I know we will likely need help as we don't have any close friends/family geographically close that could help with child care.

catem07 · January 2020

@pirateduck Yeah, a home daycare is usually smaller, in someone's home (usually a dedicated space like a finished basement), typically only 1 or 2 care providers and 4-12ish kids (depending on your state's ratio laws) in a mixed age setting. They are (should be) licensed and insured and inspected (though not all are).

A center is a larger facility with classrooms divided by age, typically at least two teachers per room with floaters/subs available. Also licensed insured and inspected.

Some people prefer home day cares because it feels like a more personal level of care (and is usually more affordable). In my experience they have more limited hours (a lot in Boston were 8-5. Who can drop their kid off at daycare and then commute in that time frame? Not me or my husband!).

The prices I shared are per week. Will edit my post.

shamrocandroll · January 2020

@pirateduck I didn't have family nearby when DS was born, and it ended up being a good thing for us, personally. My parents are WONDERFUL with him and they are the only people I trust to watch him for extended periods of time, but I still wouldn't want them to watch him daily. For one thing, I feel like that takes away from their experience of getting to really enjoy being grandparents instead of caretakers. Also, you only get so much say in how someone chooses to raise your child when they are doing it for free for you. My mom is constantly giving DS treats and gifts without asking me first, and it's fine when it's relatively infrequently, but I just know it would be a serious issue if she was watching him daily. She also can't say no to him a lot of the time, and I would be afraid of him becoming a sugar dependent entitled brat.

soprano19 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? This baby will be going to full time daycare at the same place where DD goes. DD is in the 2’s room (moving up to 3’s in October) and the baby will be in the infant room starting at the end of July or beginning of August when I have to go back to work.

Any previous experiences? DD goes to daycare at one of the elementary schools in the district where H is the IT Director. We love it for several reasons. The particular school is very convenient to both of our works and also to my mom’s house and my ILs’ house, which is handy because they frequently do pickup during marching band season and other times when we are busy. Since it’s at a school, they are open when the schools are open, plus all through the summer and through most school breaks, so we never have to worry about them being closed for random reasons. It’s monitored and regulated by the school district, which gives me more confidence in the program as a whole, especially since H happens to work closely with the two program directors, both of whom also have children in DD’s class (and both of whom are also currently pregnant with their second babies, haha). I love the socialization that DD gets from going to daycare and I really believe it’s an irreplaceable experience for her. Most of the teachers are bilingual, so she’s even learning a fair amount of Spanish, which is awesome.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? We live and work in Silicon Valley, one of the most expensive areas in the country. With DD in the 2’s room, I think we pay something like $900/month, but it was a lot more than that when she was in the infant room, and the price is increasing this year. To put DD2 in the infant room will be an additional something like $1900/month, so we’ll be paying almost $3,000/month for daycare, even considering the fact that those are the partially subsidized rates that we get for H being a district employee. H has an FSA up to $5,000 for the year, so we do use that.

Anything else you want to share? Honestly, daycare is SO worth the money (also, me not working isn’t an option, but that’s a whole other thing). DD’s vocabulary for a young 2yo is incredible and she soaks up information like a sponge. I attribute most of that to daycare because of how much time she spends there, and I would feel so much pressure if all that learning and development were on my shoulders if I were a SAHM. I do recommend looking into your local public schools to see if they have any infant/toddler programs wrapped up in their preschool programs. No one really thinks of it as an option, but they are definitely out there.

bananapanda · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? We will be sending the new baby to the same daycare center that DD is currently in.

Any previous experiences? DD (2) has been there since 10 weeks old and we are very happy with them. We've already reserved a spot for the baby because they were filling up fast. I think I told the director when I was like 7-8 weeks along and they were already booked through June. We were very hesitant to send DD to daycare and I cried often the few weeks before going back to work about sending her off with strangers. They obviously got to know her very quickly and I feel the main teachers love her like family. There is a decent turnover among the assistants because they are young college students (in a college town), but most of them are still great. I feel DD is thriving, and I'm always amazed at the things she learns. I also love seeing pictures of her with her friends and the interactions she is getting that she wouldn't get if we were staying home. We did consider an in home daycare because they are often cheaper, but it just didn't feel right. I prefer a center where there are always extra eyes around watching.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? We are in central IL and the cost for DD is about $220/week. I think for infants it's $250/week, but we will get a 10% discount on DD's tuition once the baby starts. We are not using the DCFSA because I had never heard much about it, and I'm not sure if our work even offers it. We do get the child care tax credit when we file taxes though. I'll have to ask our accountant this year which makes more sense for us with 2 in daycare (assuming one of our jobs even offers the FSA).

Anything else you want to share? Tour lots of daycares with an open mind and trust your gut. All of the daycares we checked out did have an open door policy so we could stop by at any time without an appointment to check the place out which was reassuring. Early on I would also like to pick DD up early without warning them just to check in on what they were doing when nobody was around. Thankfully there were no surprises

ruby696 · January 2020

@bananapanda Yes, I forgot about the pictures! I love seeing all the photos of my kids playing with their friends or doing crafts.

catem07 · January 2020

@shamrocandroll agree with you on grandparents as caregivers. I personally think most grandparents (though there are some exceptions) should not be long-term full-time daycare providers for their grandchildren for a host of reasons, most of which you mentioned.

heyybritt · January 2020

@shamrocandroll I'm going to keep these points in my back pocket when MH suggests having my MIL do daycare. Everything you outlined here is exactly why I wouldn't want her watching the baby long term.

I'm finding this thread super helpful for all the different options and things to think about, so thank you all for sharing these tips!

mamaj1220 · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning? At least the first year the baby will be with family, then maybe a day or two at a daycare center. We are lucky that we have family in the area who can and are willing to take the baby for us.

Any previous experiences? I did the same thing with DS (well he was 18 months). I liked the center he was at but I ended up pulling him when he was 3 to go to our school districts 3 year old program (which was half day).

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA? Well one of the reasons we won't go back to where DS started is cost. For an infant to age 2 it is now 350 a week and 2-5 is 285 a week. I might look into dependent care FSA when we decide to send the baby which is probably closer to 2 this time around. I will probably end up sending the baby to the cotaught preschool that I worked at for years because the staff there are close friends (one is actually my best friend who DS calls his aunt) and I more comfortable with that.

Anything else you want to share? Really look into a few different types of daycare, I thought I would want a home daycare for him to start and found I was not comfortable.

bananapanda · January 2020

Another perk about not having grandparents as full time caregivers is you don't have to feel guilty asking them to babysit for an evening or weekend. My parents love watching DD and she probably stays the night with them at least once a month, but often more than that. It's so refreshing for me to have some alone time to run errands, clean, or just relax with DH for a bit. If they were watching her full time already they might be the ones needing a break on the weekends haha

m6agua · January 2020

@bananapanda I always feel guilty asking my parents for babysitting outside of the 2 days a week they watch DD. We have other options, but DH only ever wants to ask my parents because he is weird and doesn't trust others. Which is ridiculous since some of our other options are people who helped us out when she was a baby (my aunts, our family friend who was a regular caretaker, and some of our friends).

Even though my parents watch DD 2 days/week, it isn't always that way. Sometimes DH's day off falls on my parents days, so he keeps her home. Other times, like today, he doesn't work until 2, so it will only be a half a day with my parents. My mom knows that I feel bad about it, but they tell me over and over that they love it. They will be moving 45 minutes away in about 5 years to their retirement house, so I think they are happy with all the time they have now.

rox7777 · January 2020

My mom watcher DS1 for about a year while I finished my required student teaching in college. Before that he had been raised by just MH and I in a foreign country and then across the US about 20 hours away. His eating went to absolute crap while my mom kept him. It’s taken 4 years and we’ve just now got him eating “normal” again. Parents can be a godsend if you don’t have the money to spend on childcare, but they’re grandparents, they want to indulge, not parent.

ruby696 · January 2020

So much what @rox7777 said. My when in-laws babysit, I'll pack healthy snacks the few hours they're there. They've never given the snacks I pack, even though I tell my in-laws what I brought for the kids when I drop them off. It's so frustrating. I think it's fairly common for grandparents to want to indulge and be grandparents, when you're expecting them to act like a caregiver would.

pirateduck · January 2020

On the same note... I work with a woman whose mother lives in the area and runs a licensed in home day care. From the beginning she has opted NOT to send her child to grandma's day care. This is not to say there is anything wrong with the day care, but to emphasize what so many of you are saying that the grandparent/grandchild relationship is strong and different and maybe not what is best for the child all the time and may not offer what they could get out of another daycare setting, even if it's a good relationship and even if the grandparent knows a lot about child care.

lajoliedreamer · January 2020

What type of childcare are you planning?
We already have baby slated to start at the same daycare as DD in September, but I'm thinking about pushing it to October, if possible, since I will start bringing baby to work starting in July and can until he is 6 months old.

Any previous experiences?
DD started at a daycare center full time at 12 weeks when we lived in the PNW. I cried the first week at drop off, then it started to feel a bit like freedom. The teachers were great and helped push us through the milestones such as starting eating real food, weaning off a bottle to a sippy cup, and sitting in a chair without buckles. All food was included, which was nice, but made me nervous because the staff didn't fully understand our dietary restrictions (thankfully nothing that would cause a reaction) and their food wasn't necessarily how we would eat at home.
When we moved to New England she stayed home with H for 6 months until we could get her into a daycare.
The daycare center she's at now is nature-based using emergent learning which has been a good fit overall. They provide snacks, but we pack a lunch (and breakfast if she doesn't get it at home), and though it took some adjustments, it's been nice having more control over what she's eating.

Cost/location (if you choose to share) and if you are using a Dependent Care FSA?
Currently we pay $1215/mo for DD and next year she's eligible for 10-hrs/wk paid by the state for preschool, thank goodness. Current tuition for an infant is $1300/mo, but it goes up every year in September so I expect it to by the time this baby starts attending, making our costs about $2500/mo, more than our mortgage.
I've honestly never looked into a Dependent Care FSA, but did because of this discussion. It is available through my job, but it doesn't seem that useful since the cap is $5000/yr which only covers a third of my current costs and a fifth of my future costs. But maybe I'm just not really understanding how it works.If I ever get my sh*t together to meet with a financial advisor, maybe I'll ask about it.

Anything else you want to share?
I agree with others on recommending a center over an in-home. Before kids, I thought I would prefer an in-home, my mom used to have one when I was little, but when I was touring and talking to places, there are definite benefits to a center despite the higher cost. For example, I still have care if the teacher gets sick or goes on vacation. Also, there tends to be more of an emphasis on age-appropriate education in centers including lesson plans.

m6agua · January 2020

@lajoliedreamer I highly recommend asking your financial advisor, or the person who does your taxes. Basically you get a choice of a tax break via the DCFSA or the Dependent Care Tax Credit, you cannot use both. So if you use a DCFSA, it lowers your taxable income on your paycheck, which basically means less taxes come out of your check. It benefits you when you file your taxes because it decreases your income. The Tax Credit is just that, the amount is deducted from your total tax when you file. Basically you need to figure out which one gives you more of an overall benefit. I think the DCFSA is geared towards higher incomes and the Tax Credit is gear towards lower incomes, I could be wrong though.

This gives the same basic overview:
https://www.benefitresource.com/blog/dependent-care-fsa-or-child-and-dependent-care-tax-credit/

pirateduck · January 2020

@lajoliedreamer the benefit of a childcare FSA is that the money is not taxed, that is $5000 of your income that you do not pay taxes on. Most people in the US pay between 20% and 30% income tax, so on $5000 you are saving $1000-$1500 on taxes, that you effectively can pay towards your childcare and other living expenses. You are still using your own money to pay for childcare, but it pre-tax and set aside in a special savings account and you cannot accidentally spend it on anything else either (which also helps people who are not the greatest at budgeting and setting aside money).

catem07 · January 2020

I just did a little research since we've always done the dependent care FSA and never looked into the dependent care tax credit.

"As of 2019, the total expenses you can claim is $3,000 for one child and $6,000 for two or more children. The credit starts at 35% for the lowest income earners and goes down to 20% for anyone earning $43,000 or more. Individuals who pay for child care expenses for their children and earn more than $43,000 may be eligible for a federal tax credit of up to 20% percent of the cost of care. So regardless of how much you pay, the potential maximum child and dependent care credit is $600 (20 percent of $3,000) for the care of one person, twice that for two or more."

So I think that means if you make more than $43,000 (unsure how that applies single v married, but for us it doesn't matter either way) the most you can get back is $1,200. Our marginal tax rate is 22% so with two kids the dependent care tax credit might be slightly better, but I don't think I'm going to switch anything up since I'm used to the FSA.

Oh! I just read on...

"For example, if your family has two or more kids and you’ve already maxed out your Dependent Care FSA to the $5,000 limit, and your qualifying child care expenses hit or exceed the $6,000 cap for the Child Care Tax Credit — you can take advantage of both the FSA and the Tax Credit. The Child Care Tax Credit will only be applicable on the $1,000 that was “unreimbursable” from your FSA. So if your income puts you in the 20% credit range, that could save you another $200 on taxes."

So for us it's better to do dependent care FSA and then take that extra credit.

https://havenlife.com/blog/fsa-or-tax-credit-how-you-can-save-on-child-care/

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

@catem07 wow that is super good to know about the FSA and tax credit. I didn’t realize you could still use the credit for that $1000 gap.

bananapanda · January 2020

+1 on @lajoliedreamer's comment about daycare feeling like freedom. I was sad the first morning I dropped DD off, but once I got to work and started getting pictures/videos and updates I realized it was amazing to get a break and talk to adults and eat food with both hands. And I sometimes still send DD to daycare when I take a day off or get a holiday that the daycare is open just because I need some time at home by myself, and I think that's okay too

adventuresawait2 · January 2020

Wow, these amounts are really putting into perspective for me how expensive daycare is in the DC area. At our current place downtown it would be $4500/month for an infant and a two-year old combined.

rachelg777 · January 2020

@adventuresawait2 we just moved from Northern VA last year- I’m pretty sure DC has some of the highest daycare rates in the country- in part because of taxes I think? Northern VA was expensive but still way cheaper than DC.

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