October Mental Health Check-In

saladflambe · October 2019

This is a monthly thread for anyone needing support dealing with mental health issues - diagnosed or undiagnosed, treated or untreated - everyone is welcome!

If you would be interested in finding a counselor or psychiatrist near you who specializes in perinatal/post-partum mental health, I highly recommend Postpartum Support International as a place to start to find these resources:
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/locations/united-states/

Note: If you are in crisis, here are some resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – Call 800-273-TALK (8255)

Crisis Text Line – Text NAMI to 741-741
Connect with a trained crisis counselor to receive free, 24/7 crisis support via text message.

Link to Canadian Resources: https://suicideprevention.ca/need-help/

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Check-In Questions (Feel free to answer these over and over, as many times as you like or need throughout the month!) -- also, feel free to propose new check-in questions...I made these as generic as possible.

What brings you to this thread today?/Tell us about your mental health journey if you like:

How are you feeling?:

Any questions we can help answer?

saladflambe · October 2019

What brings you to this thread today?/Tell us about your mental health journey if you like:
Hello! I suggested this monthly thread because I struggled a LOT with mental health issues during & after my last pregnancy. I have PTSD & OCD & a dissociative disorder that was far more severe during & after pregnancy last time. It actually got so bad that I was hospitalized when my daughter was 7 weeks old. If you'd like to know more, there's a link in my signature to my blog about my experience with post-partum anxiety & OCD.

How are you feeling?:
I am really really hoping that this pregnancy will be different. Unlike last time, I am not withdrawing off of any medications -- I've been medication-free since last fall. I'm very stable, I'm in therapy 2x a week, and I already feel differently this time around than last time...and it's only been a few hours

I feel really good today -- happy & excited & periodically hit with the enormity of another human being in my family!

Any questions we can help answer?:
None right now.

hayhay2501 · October 2019

What brings you to this thread today?/Tell us about your mental health journey if you like:
I’ve had lifelong anxiety but my mom died of cancer when I was pregnant with my first and once she was born and my grief got a bit better my anxiety became absolutely crippling. I went on Zoloft and it helped so much. I tried to wean off it when I decided to TTC again but it did not work. I’ve stayed on a half dose with the complete okay of my doctor but I feel a bit guilty/ disappointed in myself.

How are you feeling?:
Okay. Sleep is a big trigger for me and I had really bad anxiety with my last pregnancy. Hoping it’s okay this time but I am feeling a bit heightened anxiety right now.

Any questions we can help answer?
none right now. Unless anyone has experience being on Zoloft in pregnancy!

saladflambe · October 2019

@hayhay87-2 I'm sorry you're feeling guilty & disappointed. I haven't been on zoloft in pregnancy, but I know many many people who have, and I promise it is one of the BEST studied medications and the safest choices for pregnancy. It is 100% important that you be taken care of during this pregnancy -- you are important, not just your baby. I can tell you I'd make the same choice if Zoloft worked for me!

lwhrmomma · October 2019

I also struggle with anxiety. My oldest ended up in the NICU with sepsis after an easy pregnancy, and that really messed me up as a ftm. I was a crazy mess during my second pregnancy and ultimately went on Zoloft after she was born. I tried weaning off when we were TTC for baby #3,but had no luck. I am on a low dosage (50mg), and plan to discuss further with my doctor at the end of the month. I am hoping to stay on it throughout pregnancy bc I want to be in the best possible mental state.

saladflambe · October 2019

How are y'all doing?
My anxiety is ramping up, and I find myself periodically convinced that something is wrong. This is a classic symptom for me -- feeling like my intrusive anxiety is a "premonition" and not just ...well... anxiety.

I know I shouldn't be tracking line progression, but I am, and I feel like the line isn't getting darker as quickly as it did for my daughter, so I'm anxious about that. Not to mention the 1 faulty test yesterday that really threw me off. The desire for control & to KNOW something is overwhelming...I'm not even 4 weeks along yet... I have a MONTH to wait before my ultrasound. Ughhh.

hayhay2501 · October 2019

@saladflambe I’m so sorry. I completely get like this as I do it too. As you saw- i was a mess all day yesterday, CONVINCED I had an ectopic pregnancy. Are you able to request an earlier appointment to at least have a blood test etc?

Anxiety is is so exhausting ☹️

chaos-and-coffee · October 2019

@saladflambe would your midwife do a beta draw to put you at ease? FWIW, I didn’t get a BFP until I was a week late with DS. Not even a squinter. This time, 15dpo and blazing positive. 🤷🏼‍♀️ So different.

First tri anxiety is such a mind game! I don’t remember having trouble sleeping, but oh man I hope I don’t have more nights like this!

saladflambe · October 2019

@hayhay87-2 @chaos-and-coffee I don't honestly know if they would, but I also don't particularly want to indulge this anxiety. It is the type that, no matter how much information you give it, will only find something else to obsess over. A beta draw might give me information, but if it was low or not doubling, there's still nothing that I can do. That's the thing about this -- there's nothing you can do to make a pregnancy viable or not at the cellular level, so... I don't really want to pay out of pocket for information I can't do anything with. I'm going to have to force myself to sit with this -- just like I did with my daughter.

I'm only 12 DPO right now. I have seen many stories online of slower line progression -- I think my daughter's line progression was actually wicked fast -- from squinter to equal-colored lines in 2 days?? But that was a different pregnancy, I was 4 years younger, my body was in a totally different place (I was 20 pounds lighter -- at the peak of an eating disorder, underweight. Now, I'm heavier, more muscular, I eat loads more, but I also exercise a ton - it's a totally different situation body-wise, which means hormone-wise too.)

My lines are darkening, and there's nothing I can do but sit with this. And I hate it!

....oh and for anyone w/ body image issues, that's kicking in hardcore right now too.

pourmeanothermocktail · October 2019

@saladflambe Hugs. I struggle with generalized anxiety, trauma, PTSD, disordered eating, and some other things that I'm sure will come up in the future.

It's hard, but, t sounds like you're very selfie aware, which is so helpful for at least knowing when your brain isn't being rational.

saladflambe · October 2019

@pourmeanothermocktail thanks - my therapist says I'm doing well, so that's helpful to hear. Intrusive anxiety & hypervigilance are just part of my brain, and I've no choice but to sit with it. But, he says the fact that I'm able to label it that way shows I'm doing well -- that I'm not being overcome by it & taking it on as reality. I can see that it is intrusive & related to my disorders.

saladflambe · October 2019

How's everyone doing?

My anxiety is ramping up a little more & so are the intrusive thoughts that I was so sure just "would not happen this time."

Ah well.

pourmeanothermocktail · October 2019

Potty training my three year old, dealing with my TW dogs, trying to help baby learn to walk, and feeling super cruddy all the time has left me too tired and busy to worry too much yet!

saladflambe · October 2019

Insane anxiety over the lack of sleep during newborn phase (primarily BECAUSE of my anxiety -- my body just stopped sleeping last time) kept me awake all night. Sigh. I really hope I can medicate myself into near-immediate stability post-birth this time.

sheshe3386 · October 2019

No one has written much on here in a few days so I don’t know if it’s still ok to post but I figured I’d contribute and vent my frustrations lol. I’ve been on SSRIs and ADD medication for a long time, they help me to function like a normal human being. I stopped both cold turkey before I got a positive pregnancy test bc I had a feeling we conceived. I had a chemical pregnancy last month and So I’ve been super cautious and afraid. I wasn’t doing too bad off of my medications but I can see my motivation and will to be social and not isolate myself are wearing thin and I’m starting to feel blah. Not terrible, just blah. I miss feeling normal lol. But I am so so so excited to be a mom. Thankfully the SSRI withdrawal is over because that was a nightmare!

saladflambe · October 2019

@sheshe3386 totally ok to post here still. I'm so sorry - withdrawal while pregnant is awful & then having to learn a whole new normal without meds AND a whole new normal of being pregnant...it can be awful & bring up some really dark thoughts (or, at least, it did for me).

do you have a therapist you work with?

sheshe3386 · October 2019

Yes, thankfully I do. All we can do is take everything one day at a time.

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