STM+ Check-In: October — The Bump
February 2020 Moms

STM+ Check-In: October

OK I am selfishly starting this thread early this month because I forgot to post one in September and want to chat!

- How is everyone doing? 
- Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? 
- What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)?
- It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing?
- How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty?  :#

Me: 38, DH: 36 
Married Jan 2008 
DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


Re: STM+ Check-In: October

  • - How is everyone doing? Holding in there. Very unmotivated at work this week. Baby is kicking up a storm. Feeling seriously pregnant and only what 4 or 5 months? Feeling like I need to get off my butt and start painting while the weather's warm, and also setting up partially finished basement as a play area. But activities keep getting in the way!

    - Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? Bells did pretty well starting PK3. She loves loves loves her new teacher and really loves to learn so has been working really hard on her letters. They have some really cool toys, and this week have field trips to the library and to go apple picking! She has struggled a bit with the potty and has had a half dozen BM accidents at school. They don't seem to be very worried about it but I hope it clears up soon and she doesn't have an accident while on a field trip.

    - What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)? I am considering getting the Kiinde pump to bottle system this time around. Also a sit and stand stroller which obviously wasn't needed last time. :) besides that I am reusing everything.

    - It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing? We had our fall fair in our town last week which was so fun. They had a large inflatables area and besides the plastic burn the kids had such a great time.We will probably do our own apple picking adventure because I love apples and maybe go to the pumpkin patch.

    - How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty?   Haha I am struggling with this very badly. Last night DH was talking to my belly and gave it a kiss and I felt AWFUL, like we were cheating on DD1 somehow. I told DH and he was like poor baby (DD2). Has anyone else felt that way? I told DH I felt like we were replacing our daughter and he said that NO one could ever replace her but I still feel that stinging guilt. Is this just hormones? Will I get over it?
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    jvk2012bg122785craftywitch
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  • How is everyone doing? 
    We're good.  DD has a bit of a cold and DH is super busy at work which comes at a bad time because this week is a crazy week for us.  We're getting new windows next week!!

    Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? 
    She was so happy to be back at daycare.  They have the 3 big kids (she's one of them) nap in the basement on mats with one of the teachers down there.  She had a tough time with that transition and ended up in a PNP in the basement with the other kids but had a few days she had to nap upstairs in one of the bedrooms because she was keeping the other kids awake at nap time.

    What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)?
    I want to get a Sit Me Up (we had a Bumbo for DD), and we may buy a swing/bouncer/play mat since we borrowed those from a cousin who may still be using them for her 2nd kid.  Oh and lots of boy clothes!

    It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing?
    Fall has lots of birthdays in our family and extended family so we have been busy celebrating those.  We'll go pumpkin picking in October and maybe apple picking.

    How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty?   
    I'm not feeling guilty, I think DD will love being a big sister (mostly).  She will love having a playmate as he gets older.  If anything I feel guilty about our lack of "excitement" over baby #2.  It's not lack of excitement really because he was very much planned and wanted, but it's more of a "been there, done that" attitude where I find myself not reading every update when I move into a new week and that kind of stuff.  It's still interesting but last time I could tell you like how many weeks and days pregnant I was off the top of my head and now I have to stop and think.
    bg122785craftywitchSwiftletclee5711
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  • @kiwi2628, is your son not liking the milk or the cup? With DD we put milk in her bottles until she was fine with that and then quit bottles cold turkey at 12.5 months. She protested for a few hours that first morning but then was fine. 
    leksiL
  • - How is everyone doing? 
    We're going great! We are at the beginning of a crazy 6 weeks where one or all of us are out of town every weekend (this weekend I'm meeting up with some women from my D17 BMB!)  But it's mostly fun stuff so I'm excited about it all, and feeling good.
    - Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? 
    Kai is in daycare and moved up to a new room. It was rough for awhile with tough drop offs, but I think we've rounded a corner this week and he's doing well.
    - What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)?
    So far I'm mostly just replacing a few things! Muslin blankets, nipples/pacifiers, more car seats...would love to read others' ideas of things to get! I'm super excited we're having boy #2, but also wish I had more to shop for, ha.
    - It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing?
    We've got 2 October camping trips planned, visit the pumpkin patch, apple picking, etc
    - How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty? 
    I actually feel so much more excited about having #2 than I did with my first, because there's none of the anxiety about childbirth or becoming a Mom. I was so unsure about it all the first time, and now I just can't wait for him to be here! I know it will be an adjustment for #1 (and for us!), but it's a transition that most people go through at some point, so I know we'll all figure it out and adapt. I just want to make sure to still prioritize some one-on-one time w/#1.
    craftywitchjvk2012brookert615
  • @kiwi2628 I've thought the same thing, running into stores won't be quite as easy, I imagine I'll avoid doing it with kids more than I do now, ha! 

    @bg122785 What all do you have to do to get the room ready? There's still time!  <3  

    @jvk2012 I definitely had a lack of excitement for awhile and still don't follow the weekly updates or anything like I did w/#1, but in the past few weeks have started to feel sooo excited for the new baby. I'm sure the excitement will come, even if it's after he's here!

    @leksil I think I'll feel that "cheating" feeling more once he's here, like if I take the baby to do something and don't bring my older son I'll feel bad. But I'm sure once the baby's here and everyone had adapted all will be well <3  
    leksiL
  • How is everyone doing? Much better. It took me longer than expected, but now that I'm 21 weeks, I feel like I'm finally enjoying the second trimester. I can feel baby boy all the time, I have more energy, etc. 

    Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? My DD is still at the same in-home daycare, but we're in the midst of potty training. (She turned two at the end of June and I'm doing everything I can to have her fully trained). She's doing great with #1, but we haven't had nearly as much success with #2s. @leksiL any tips? 

    What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)? I've been going back and forth with the idea of a co-sleeper. We had a queen size bed with DD, so we used the arm's reach bassinet next to the bed, but now that we have a king, I'm thinking about getting one of those mesh bassinets that go in the bed between DH and myself. Anyone have any experience with those? 

    It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing? I'm sure we'll hit up another pumpkin patch. There's a pretty big farm about an hour away that does a HUGE pumpkin experience that I'd love to take my daughter to. 

    How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty? I don't feel any guilt...yet. But I do feel some anxiety. We still need to figure out how we're going to do the nursery. I have some concerns that moving DD into another room might cause her stress, but we have some time to figure out how to best do this. My current plan is to have her be a part of the design process. 
    jvk2012brookert615
  • @shellac835 Ohh nothing major. It is just our catch all room, and it has caught A LOT in the last few years. lol So just emptying it and finding new places and getting rid of the things in there is what is stressing me out. But it will get done, just need a solid weekend with the time to do it. :) 
  • - How is everyone doing? We're all good! DS has been a little extra whiney but he's just reaching 3.5yo and it seems like he's just wanting more activity while I'm wanting less...

    - Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? Oh yeah DS had already moved up to primary (ECE3&4) a little early. He's still doing great in his class and we shelled out big money so he could do Soccer Shots which he's been loving.

    - What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)? Beautiful newborn muslins/swaddles for the birth photos of us catching him. We paid for birth photos with DS and I didn't even think about it in advance, and couldn't have cared less while I was in labor, but salmon sheets and used pink loaner swaddles did not make for the best photos. Our photographer cropped and did a great job getting us some gems anyway, but this time I plan to make her life easier and bring some beautiful things.

    - It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing? We are growing pumpkins in our community garden! We also go to the annual pumpkin festival every year and to a local corn maze.

    - How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty? No guilt here- I think we're all just getting impatient already! DS seems excited and ready. We just bought him a twin bed and mattress and plan to let him pick new sheets this weekend, but he's already sleeping in his new bed, filling the storage drawers with his toys, and saying how is old "baby bed" is where his brother will sleep. I thought it'd be a tougher sell, but DS is down! Honestly I am so in love with this baby already and rather than getting second best, I kind of feel like I'm fixing a lot of things I screwed up the first time. I think DS is going to love having a brother, baby brother is getting better, more experienced parents than DS got, and I think DH and I will be better off when we can't sit around helicopter parenting. We try really hard not to, but find ourselves sitting around staring at DS, fussing and directing way too often.
    mandk1233jvk2012brookert615clee5711
  • @lanie1000, we also recently potty trained my daughter who was 2 in June. She is great with peeing but won’t poop on the potty. She seems to prefer to stand instead of sit and doesn’t have the attention span to sit long enough to poop. So we’re working on all that by taking baby steps. 
  • bg122785 if it makes you feel better I am as an adult closer to my brothers who are 17 and 7 years younger than me than my closer-in-age sister! Siblings don't have to be close in age to be close :)

    @kiwi2628 when we switched DD from breastmilk to cow milk we transitioned slowly, so 25% cow milk for a week, then 50%, 75% 100%. It worked pretty well! We kept the milk in bottles and had open cups for water. Now at almost 3 she still spills open cups all the time and it drives DH batty.

    @lanie1000 so DD has been full time in underwear since April and still has BM accidents occasionally. I am probably not the person to give tips LOL. However rewards seem to work - stickers, promises if she goes on the potty we will have a popsicle after school, etc. I think as @jvk2012 suggests we just have to be patient and buy lots of underwear :-1: 

    @craftywitch I love your attitude about this baby getting the best. Specifically, I totally feel you on the helicopter parenting from DH's perspective. I am a free range parent and DD has the bumps to prove it. DH is helicopter to the max. I'm hoping we can tone it down with DD2 or we will drive ourselves all mad. We didn't get birth photos (I had a cesarean and there is one picture with my abdomen open but YECK) but my one regret is not agreeing to be in the newborn pictures. I was so bloated from all the drugs. I hope I can have a drug-free birth this time and look normal, but regardless i'm gonna be in the freaking pictures!!! :) 
    Me: 38, DH: 36 
    Married Jan 2008 
    DD Baby Bells born Dec 2016 5 lbs, 12 oz, 18" <3 so in love <3
    Due with #2 Baby Arya EDD February 2020


    brookert615mandk1233craftywitchjvk2012
  • @jvk2012 @leksiL Thanks, ladies! We'll get there... :) 
     
    jvk2012leksiL
  • @leksiL Thank you! It does make me feel better! LOL I always worry but have heard from a few people it will be just fine, so I try to keep reminding myself of that. 
    leksiL
  • @leksiL There's always putting your hair down and wearing something drapey and floral if you're puffy. Either way- you have to be in those photos! They're too much fun to look back on. And from what I'm hearing helicoptering just isn't an option when you have the chaos of multiple kids running around. It's probably for the best too! Free range is my aspirational style haha.
    leksiLclee5711
  • - How is everyone doing? Good overall. Just having a lot of impatience when it comes to this house being done before baby. If it isn’t, we will be fine. But I just want to be somewhat settled. Im a planner and I need a timeline- apparently builders just don’t do that.  
    - Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? Our preschool doesn’t end so he was fine as far as going to school. But the new kids in the class and a new teacher who came in definitely threw him off for a little...but I think his school behavior is back on track now. 
    - What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)? A baby carrier. I think it will be almost impossible to not have one with a toddler running around. 
    - It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing? Picking out pumpkins at some point - and we always take a family photo at the pumpkin patch since DS is an October baby. We took the first one there when he was only 10 days old! Other than that, and his birthday of course, we don’t have any fall specific plans. 
    - How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty? Super excited! I hope DS will be sweet. He’s always been very into other people’s babies and is concerned whenever anyone cries. He tried to rock my friend’s baby in her carrier the other night when she was crying. I’m not feeling any guilt....yet. I’m sure it will come. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
    craftywitchleksiLbrookert615
  • @jvk2012 we used the sit me up seat wayyyyy more than the bumbo! I loved it. 
    Me:33
    DH: 34
    Married: May 2011
    TTC #1: May 2015
    DS: 10/20/2016
    TTC #2: June 2019
    #2 EDD: 2/20/2020
    jvk2012leksiLclee5711
  • @jvk2012 I’m definitely having a been there done that attitude with this kid. With two other kids sucking every once of energy out of me 24/7 there just isn’t as much time to just focus on this pregnancy. 

    - How is everyone doing? Doing well. So tired but I blame my 3 and 1.5 year old for that. Actually enjoying second trimester a bit now that nausea and headaches have eased up. 

    - Did everyone's bigs transition to school OK? Ds1 started 3 year old preschool and has been doing great. An adjustment for sure but overall great. 

    - What are you buying for this baby that you didn't the last ones (if anything)?
    Nothing as of now. Furniture and bedding once we find out gender. I’ll need nothing clothes wise if it’s another boy- anatomy anatomy scan is  this afternoon 
    i thought about a doc a tot but the safe sleep crazy in me doesn’t think I will buy one 

    - It's Fall! What fun fall activities is your family doing?
    we went to a pumpkin patch last weekend and the boys painted pumpkins and helped carve one for our gender reveal tonight. 

    - How are you doing emotionally with adding #2? Is anyone else feeling guilty?  I had some guilt adding number 2 but I’m feeling really anxious about adding a third. There is only one of me home with them all day and the boys are currently needy AF. Like extremely clingy and obsessed with me and fighting for my attention daily. I’m doing my best to make one on one time but holy hell its been a rough few weeks here. 
    brookert615craftywitch
  • @ibabyloveb87 definitely get yourself a good baby carrier! We had a cheap one with my first and didn’t like it or use it much. I bought the Lilliebaby all season and LOVE it. I also had a sully wrap with both kids that I like enough. I Just used the Lillie baby this week for my 15 month bc he fell asleep and I wanted him to stay asleep at the store. It makes shopping at stores that don’t have double seat carts sooo much easier or until they can sit in the seat on their own. 

    @craftywitch love your attitude about this kid getting better more experienced parents. ❤️ 

    I will say the absolute best moment of my life so far was ds1 meeting ds2 for the first time. It was everything I hoped for and more and even more wonderful than holding each boy for the first time. 
    leksiLcraftywitchibabyloveb87
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