How do you cope with the anxiety? — The Bump
1st Trimester

How do you cope with the anxiety?

Hi! I am 37yo and just got a BFP 1.5 weeks ago. I’m in the beginning of my 5th week, according to my LMP. 

Im looking for tips to cope with the anxiety I’m feeling about being older with my first pregnancy and all the stuff that could go wrong. I’m especially anxious about losing the pregnancy, as my brother and his wife just went through a still birth at a little over 6 months just before I got my positive result. Their circumstances were quite different than mine, but I can’t help feeling absolutely terrified my family will have to endure another loss when we just need a WIN! Any tips mamas? 

Re: How do you cope with the anxiety?

  • One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time.  

    You are PG right now and you should be thankful for every minute you are PG, whether that PG lasts 2 weeks, 2 months, or til you have a living baby in your hands. There is nothing you can do besides listening to what your doctor says and doing your best.  

    Also, I recommend therapy if it bothers you too much.  Sometimes... you never get a win.
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  • Thank you for your words, and believe me, I’m very aware that telling my brother and his wife about our pregnancy should be done with grace and in a private setting. It’s one of the things causing anxiety, revealing to them. 

  • candicehj said:
    Thank you for your words, and believe me, I’m very aware that telling my brother and his wife about our pregnancy should be done with grace and in a private setting. It’s one of the things causing anxiety, revealing to them. 

    Just making sure. :) We've seen them all here.  :D From people like you to people who insist that other people's life experiences don't matter, if the whole family isn't doing absolute backflips over the pregnancy, they're horrible and they aren't being supportive. "I don't care that Nana is 95! BACKFLIPS if you aren't horrible!!!" You'll find the right time to share. And there might be times where you feel like you misstepped. But you already have the most important parts of caring and trying.
    Me: 34 DH: 38
    Married: June 2011
    TTC since Feb 2016
    BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 
    BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
    BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
  • So am I the only one holding my breath every time I go pee (like, every 5 minutes) and silently praying I don’t see any kind of blood? So so scared of that.
  • mercury94mercury94 member
    edited August 2019
    @candicehj It’s not abnormal to react that way every time you go to the bathroom. But, do your best to relax. You have no reason to believe that something is going wrong. Many women have normal, successful pregnancies at 37. Just remind yourself that you are pregnant right now and cherish those moments. There could be many reasons why that tragedy happened with your niece or nephew. Without more information, such as genetic disorders that you and your brother both carry, there is no reason to think that the same thing will happen to you. I sincerely recommend that you talk to your OB and seek help if you can’t move past the anxiety. 

    Edit for typos. 


    Me 34 DH 34 

    DS1 born September 2017
    Baby number 2 due 4/11/20
  • @candicehj I absolutely understand about holding your breath every time you go pee, checking for blood. It's terrible feeling like that. I'd definitely maybe suggest some therapy because it's nice to have someone to talk through all this anxiety with.

    Hope you have better luck than I did!
  • Love your user name! Emerald is actually top of our girl name list! I guess I’ll just get used to tp checks, then 💁‍♀️
  • @candicehj I’m 7 weeks 5 days and check every single time. 🤷🏼‍♀️ The struggle is real. 
  • Is this your first pregnancy? 
  • @candicehj no. I got my first bfp in March and miscarried in April, but I had nightmares of miscarrying. Internally, I knew it was going to happen. This time I have the same feelings but that I will take home this baby. Listen to your gut. It knows. Even though I check, it’s to note whether or not I see spotting. I had O bleeding and I had implantation bleeding, so my body bleeds with big changes apparently. 
  • @ejoseph16 I missed your announcement! Congratulations! I’m so excited for you! 
  • kksadiekksadie member
    edited September 2019
    I’m just over 5 weeks and don’t have my first scan for heartbeat for another 3 weeks-I don’t know how I’m going to make it! This is my first pregnancy and I’m overwhelmed with nerves. So far it’s just been those knots/butterflies in my stomach, but today it’s been shortness of breath I’m so anxious😰
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