Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: QUESTION Thread
So I’m not sure how to go about making anything here private but from further digging a few members somehow gain access to a fancy backstage section of the bump where they have the ability to invite others? In our case I guess that would be sending access to everyone who wants it? Im out for that position bc I’ve been emailing the admins about their dumb daily size references lol
from what i've read whomever starts the group is the admin and controls who gets in - and you can add addt'l admin - not sure how many. i also don't want to be mean girls about it, and i haven't had any concern about anyone who has said they want to be included... but i do think we need to have some sort of guideline.for ex. the two posts re twins and baby shower stuff, i have no clue who those women are, and found that a little like oh hello, where did you come from?!
Im with @ale9687 regarding the migration of topics. We’ll need a post for clarity so nobody gets left behind if we’re doing this.
as for poll - just a yes no poll to move to private?
I personally have no problem with people who haven't posted much being included, as long as they're willing to participate in some capacity in a private group. Some people just won't feel comfortable until the point where it's private. To me it's more about keeping personal details private from literally anyone who wants to come here, even years from now. If I have some issue with a stalker or an identity thief in 5 years, I don't want some posts on the Bump to be where they got any information from. I don't want to post my personal birth story with the world at large. I don't want to share photos of my newborn with anyone who I don't feel at least some sense of community with. And as we get closer to the end dates, that becomes more and more prevalent. A few women in the last group had premies and shared a lot of really personal, really emotional experiences with their time in the NICU and finding out different diagnoses etc. And regardless of participation level, that kind of stuff is easier to share with a limited audience than it is when literally anyone in the world could be reading it.
Edited to add: actually there WAS a private group in my last board. It was the board that specifically existed to talk about other group members behind their backs, making fun of stupid questions they asked, or rolling their eyes at opinions etc. That is not at all what this proposed group is about.
@k_mama91good luck with your private group.
and if anyone else wants to give their two cents to me then go ahead but it'll be met with silence.
really hope the private group works out.
Ill give my my two cents
We all were just so nice to you after you freaked out for absolutely no reason and you’re trying to give a mic drop. You will not be met with hate or anger from this group of women.
Best of luck in your pregnancy ❤️ I mean that with full sincerity.
PS I'm impressed across the board with how much activity there has been the last 3 days. It's been hard to keep up!
I felt sorry for her at first for feeling excluded...until she went off again for no reason and was extra "mean girl" to @anniemarie887. I mean come on, anyone who says my dear in a patronizing tone is not playing very nice.
On the plus side this is our very first "confrontational" exchange to date I think. That's awesome! Especially for the internet.
I'm glad to see us all supportive and inclusive no matter what some people say. My first board in 2016 was not as accommodating so I love this group even as a STM!!
I don't think anyone has ever been disrespectful or mean in this group. Honest, yes, but always respectfully so, and I appreciate that. There's a reason I keep coming back here. I always steered clear of the "mean girls" in school, and never once have I felt that urge here. If anything, in some ways, you ladies have been more helpful and supportive than some of my real life friends. I appreciate all of you.
Agree with @blueskychicago12 though...it makes me a bit more inclined towards a private group now.
Well regarding the reaction - don't want to justify, but always like to look at things from different perspectives: We all are very emotional these days in different ways (sadness, anger, upset, fear etc) and as people express themselves differently, I don't judge how @firsttimemomma417 expressed her opinion. You just never know what rubbs you the wrong way these days (from personal experience). I'm just sorry that she feels like that.
Going to her Baby Shower post, I honestly didn't see it at all as I usually only navigate to questions, symptoms, exercise and working moms discussions.
Now about the private group: are we talking about the already existing December 2019 moms Facebook group or creating a completely new one?
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
My point was that the "worst" that really happens here is sometimes a newish poster starts a one off thread or doesn't really introduce themselves and another poster points it out. Not really that bad imo but that's just, like, my opinion man.
Lemme know when the Private Group goes live ya'll! This was a great coffee read @k_mama91 and it made me appreciate you ladies so much more I could cry. I feel lucky to have made such a great group of friends online and hope we can continue it after all the babes arrive.
Sha'll we nominate an Admin???? @anniemarie887 you got my vote Regina!