Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: TTTC Check-In: 9/09/2019
QOTW- the 1920’s-30’s. I have a weird fascination with everything starting to come about. Plus, it would be so cool to be there for when women got the right to vote!
R/R- I’m still mentally struggling and need to just chill! I sort of got DH to say he’s fine with moving to an IUI next cycle but he seemed very eh about it. I’ll bring it up again once I get AF since we have up till the day of my monitoring appt to decide. We have a couples shower to go to this weekend for his sister, which should be fun especially since his other sister will be in town! I’m doing this challenge with my one SIL so I won’t be drinking, and I’m secretly hoping I get KU (I mean, obviously haha) so I can blame not drinking this month or the next on the challenge.
Hope everyone is having a great Monday!
@b_1029 sorry you're still mentally struggling! hang in there. i hope you have a lovely time with your family! and the 20s-30s would be SO cool!
@hithertorue i hope your mini vacay and TWW are going well! to answer your question from last week, i am not doing OPK or BBT tracking, but maybe i should start. i just never bothered with it in the past because i never ovulated haha.
@nancinator i am SO happy for you!!
@2dogsmom @inthewoods23 @sara_tory @chiblackhawkie @ceauth and everyone else, I hope you are doing well!
QOTW: If you could time travel, what era would you visit and why?
Hmmm...I'd probably want to see Christ walk on the earth and perform miracles. That would be amazing.
Any Rants/Raves from this past week?
Rants: One of my friends reached out to me about her friend who SWEARS by the keto diet. She attributes her getting pregnant to being on keto, and said her OBGYN told her that she had to be in ketosis in order to ovulate and get pregnant. Like, come on....maybe that worked for you but thats not going to be the magic answer to everyone with IF's prayers. I have another friend who has PCOS and she lost probably over 100 lbs and got pregnant and had a cute little boy earlier this year. She keeps reaching out to me and telling me that she wants to talk to me about the healthy eating changes that she made that enabled her to get pregnant when medicines and treatments didn't do anything. But, she won't just text me about it....she insists on talking over the phone and is very cryptic about her "healthy eating changes", so part of me is wondering if it is some MLM type scheme that she's going to try to get me to buy into. Either way, it is really frustrating to keep getting bombarded with people saying that medicine doesn't work and its all about what you eat.
Raves: DH and I are going to foster kittens for our local animal shelter and we get the kittens tomorrow! I am so excited!! We adopted a kitten last year, so he is about 1.5 years old now. We will get 4 foster kittens who will be around 2 months old so they will be so cute. Anytime I have a bad day, I am going to just go sit in our kitten room and let their cuteness solve all my problems hahaha.
AFM: just finishing up with AF and we are still taking a break. hopefully i can start eating a lot healthier this month before we leave for Scotland - i'm hoping to at least lose a few pounds. what works for you guys in terms of making yourself eat healthier or making new eating habits? i have such a bad relationship with food (i have a minor eating disorder) so it's really hard for me.
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
@knockupthestock sorry people all think they "know the answer" when it comes to IF -- it makes it so much harder when everyone is trying to tell you to do this and that with no real evidence. I've been told the same -- weight loss =s increased fertility. Maybe it would help, but I have a hard time believing it's the only factor -- my friend who is 100 pounds heavier than I am (and same height) got pregnant easily. I hope you can drop a few pounds for yourself over this break, and also find a way to de-stress about it! For me, I found counting calories (in vs out) to be very helpful -- it gives me the freedom to eat what, but I budget for it calorie wise. For example today I REALLY wanted one of the chocolate chip cookies in the break room, so for dinner I'm doing more veggies and fewer carbs so I still meet my calorie goal for the day. I have some other strategies that have worked for me too, but I don't want to dump too much info on you. Also, please note I am definitely not pushing anything on you -- I hate when people push diet fads, but if you want more info or would like to get a fitbit and challenge me/have me cheer you on for steps I'd be happy to do that. Let me know
Kittens sounds like so much fun! Is the goal to have them all adopted out before you leave for Scotland? I love the idea of a kitten room!!
QOTW: I'd like to go to the 1880s! I'm very interested in the early days of the environmental movement, the founding of national parks and the sierra club, the concept of manifest destiny vs. conservationism etc., so I'd love to be there when some of these ideas first came to light (though I think @b_1029
had a good answer with the 20s too).
Rants/Raves: Broken dishwasher is a real pain -- I am so spoiled normally! Otherwise not much this week, just waiting for my follicle check on Friday. I am not feeling optimistic at all and wondering if we are just wasting time and should be going to IVF, but here we are. Also still waiting to hear about hubby's possible new job, fingers crossed because we could really use this win!
Hope everyone has a good week!
I would really love to see pics of your cute foster kittens! Can't get enough kitties
@2dogsmom omg if our dishwasher was broken DH would lose his mind. In his family, EVERYTHING goes in the dishwasher. In my family, we always hand washed pots, pans, anything large or oddly shaped, and hand wash only items (yes that means DH's family puts things in the dishwasher that specifically say not to put in the dishwasher). Hope you get good news on YH's job prospect!
QOTW: If you could time travel, what era would you visit and why?
I like the idea of going back to the late 1800s to see what it was like when electricity was first used to light up the world or sometime in the 1940s-1960s when technology just started being a thing (or like, when household appliances and electronics became a thing).
Any Rants/Raves from this past week? Tell us about it!
My FET transfer was yesterday! The bad news is our best male embryo didn't do well after the thaw so they had to thaw the 2nd one. That one was in the process or had already hatched out of the shell (or zona is what it's actually called) so that was really promising to hear! Placement was perfect they said. I'm going to be really bummed if this doesn't work because we have no other boy embryos and I'd really like to have one of each.
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC ended due to filing divorce
**New relationship starting May 2024**
Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
@b_1029 Sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling, my DH was not a huge fan of moving onto IUI either... glad to hear that you have a lot of other things going on to keep your mind off of it. GL with your challenge with your SIL!
@knockupthestock I hope you get the raise soon, that is so frustrating! Also, I hope that you find the best way to make you feel good... even if it’s enjoying ice cream or eating broccoli, GL with whatever you decide.
@inthewoods23 So glad to hear that your FET went well!! I hope that this one sticks for you, and you have a little bundle of joy in a few months!
@2dogsmom FX for hubby’s new job! Hope your follicle check goes well, too!
@hithertorue Hope you get some RR and have a great mini-vaca!!
QOTW I would love to travel to the Colonial Period. Some of my relatives came to America really early, and I would love to see what their lives were like when they arrived here. (I also loved @knockupthestock and would love to see Jesus’s miracles)
Rants/Raves
Best wishes to everyone on here, I will continue to lurk to see how everyone is doing! @inthewoods23 @hithertorue @2dogsmom @b_1029 @knockupthestock
@Ceauth I hear you on the first weeks back to school — they are insane! Also that sounds like great news! Congrats!!
Dx: low morph (1%), ANA positive, low decidualization score, high TSH and testosterone, histone antibodies
IUI #1-3 | all BFN
IVF #1 | 6.11.19 | 24R, 17M, 15F, 6B, PGT-A tested - 5 normal, 3 girls & 2 boys
FET #1 | 9.10.19 | BFN "I know you, but we've never met. I'm with you, but I don't know your name"
RPL, Receptiva, & ERA testing | all normal/negative, recommended going on gluten and dairy free diet for next FET
FET #2 | 3.31.20 | Opted to cancelled due to pandemic, continued diet and tried naturally over the summer
2nd Opinion with another RE | 8.20.20 | Not immune to measles (received 1 dose); SA results similar to 2 years ago; decided to move forward with FET #2 redo at start of next cycle
Surprise natural BFP! | 9.22.20 | MC 10.23.20 at 8 weeks
TTCAL naturally | starting 11.22.20
Initial consultation with Reproductive Immunologist | 9.14.21
Decidualization score biopsy | 10.1.21 | abnormal - low score of 1; endometrial scratch recommended and progesterone supplementation
Saline sono | 10.15.21 | normal
Bloodwork | 10.21.21 | high TSH, high testosterone, positive for anti-nuclear antibodies and histone antibodies, high protein S, multiple genetic mutations
BFP! | 11.3.21 | EDD 7.14.22
DS born 7.19.22 after induction
TTC #2 begins 6.2023
Consultation with RI | 6.6.23
Saline sono, endometritis biopsy, skin & eye check | all normal
Labs | high TSH, Factor XIII mutation, high %CD56
Follow up | 8.8.23 | prescribed metformin, prednisone, plaquenil, and levothyroxine
Repeat labs after 3 weeks on meds
Follow up | 11.9.23 | Green light!, increase in prednisone, added lovenox
Repeat labs in 8 weeks
Follow up | 1.16.24 | Green light continues
TTC ended due to filing divorce
**New relationship starting May 2024**
Surprise BFP!! | 9.7.25 | EDD 5.11.26
@inthewoods23 yay for a good FET! FX for you and the little embryo.
@Ceauth woohoo! im stoked for you.
In case any of y'all wanted to see our foster kittens....
dx: PCOS, hypothroidism
Second TTGP: started meds for first cycle of tx on 10/13/21
@2dogsmom ahhh not the dishwasher! We would be lost without ours- that’s pretty much DH’s only regular task. How’d your follie check go today? I hope you hear good news soon about Yh’s job!
@inthewoods23 so sorry to hear about your one embryo but I’m glad the transfer went well!
@Ceauth wow that’s so awesome!
AFM I am on CD 1 and mopey as hell. But I got things done- called to see if they are going to increase my letrozole dosage (they are) so I can start that Sunday, and scheduled my next monitoring appt for the 23rd. I think DH is fully on board with the IUI and luckily he won’t be crazy busy that week because his manager is a maniac who thinks he can’t possibly have anything to do outside the office yet she leaves at 3:30...
@inthewoods23 that’s good to hear. I really appreciate hearing more about IVF since I haven’t been successful with IUI yet and that will be our next option.
@b_1029 sorry about being on CD 1– never fun, but glad they are adjusting your meds and hubby is on board for IUI.
My follicle check was fine today — 1.9 which is a good size, but my lining isn’t as think as they want to see for ideal implantation so we will see if it works. We are going to wait and trigger Sunday with IUI Tuesday in hopes that a few more days will let my follicle get a bit bigger and the lining thicker. I know a lot of people on here have more than one follicle in a cycle but I always seem to have just one. So hopefully it’s a good one and it this is the month that works!