Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: QUESTION Thread
Here’s my pee question, Has anyone else leaked pee after being on the toilet? Regardless of strength I feel like I’m leaking after I get up and walk away. It’s gross and annoying.
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
I have my follow-up appointment Thursday, but there has definitely been improvement because I don't leak when coughing anymore and even with dry-heaving this morning it was very minimal. There's lots of little things even beyond Kegels that can help, and also be preventative before birth.
For example both my physiotherapist and my midwife also strongly suggested being more careful about how I get out of bed. Apparently sitting up (like a sit-up movement) can be problematic for pelvic floor muscles, and that it's far better to roll to the side and get up from there. Not holding your breath while straining if you're constipated is another one.
DS - 7.5
DD #1 - 6
~ mmc 7.11.2018 @ 9w ~
DD#2 - born 12.24.19
I think pregnancy in general is a bigger culprit though.
add that I have literally no core strength from the csection, multiple pregnancies and ehlers danlos.
I feel like I'm constantly in some sort of pain or soar in or around my giant tummy. Also, is anyone else already starting to waddle a little?
@mrszoobear My hips are killing me and tonight dh asked why I was walking funny. Apparently I’m waddling too.
@k_mama91 when you pee, and you are done peeing, sit for a second then shift forward and see if you can pee a bit more. That may help with the leaking.
DH: 37
DD: 03/17/17
DS: 12/06/19
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
(I am not a doctor/physiotherapist and you should talk to your care provider before starting any new exercise.)
1) you (and your SO) can board early during the “passengers requiring extra time/assistance” portion of boarding if you are visibly pregnant, no questions asked 👍
2) they will NOT let you sit in an exit row if you are visibly pregnant (makes sense, but honestly I never even thought about it) 👎. However if you’re lucky a sympathetic flight attendant will find you a new seat in an equally spacious row (thanks Alaska!).
My understanding is that my body will switch to making colostrum sometime in the 3rd trimester (which might cause him to want to wean anyway) and then a few days after baby is born my milk will "come in" again. Just wondering if anyone has any experience or wisdom to share about it.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
Anyways. One of the friends is having a big 40th birthday blow out in just under 2 weeks. Do I tell them via group chat beforehand? Or do I dress to hide it (which I can do pretty easily with swing dresses and flowy cardigans). I an afraid it'll look like I'm trying to steal the spotlight from her leading up to her birthday. This party is a huge deal for her.
I know I probably should have told people beforehand but honestly I hate telling people about it. Anything that involves me as center of attention makes me very uncomfortable.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
@lemonpoppy usually they want a fasting blood sugar every morning and a blood sugar reading after each meal (some docs do one hour some do two hours after the meal). My doc prescribed the device and insurance mostly covered it, though for just two weeks you may just have to purchase it yourself. It is available OTC, at least at my Walgreen's it is. Sometimes I run out of supplies (testing strips and lancets) and just buy OTC rather than wait for a script to be called in. I don't know the exact cost but if you call the pharmacy I'm sure they could tell you the cost for a glucometer, testing strips, and testing lancets.
Not all doctors will allow this to substitute the glucose test, but some will.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019