Facebook Group?

Mrstomommy1114 · August 2019

Would anyone be interested in moving over to a Facebook Feb 2020 Moms closed/private group?

I did this with my first kiddo (dec '16) and found using facebook to be a much easier platform to navigate. And we still use it for toddler checkins!

leksiL · August 2019

Hi fellow December 16 mom here - but I think I'm in the other FB group

I don't remember you from our BMB, did you change your screen name?

I think it's too early to move to FB. Last time we moved after births when we all knew each other. I've talked to a handful of women on this page but I don't feel like I know anyone yet.

daffodil_shoe · August 2019

No thank you.

Mrstomommy1114 · August 2019

@leksiL must be a different group! Bc we moved while pregnant and did hump day bump day! And had labor buddies, did christmas gift exchanges, supported each other through losses etc. It was/is really great to have a group to turn to.

I dont feel like I know anyone here either but I have such a hard time keeping up with all the posts bc the app doesnt consistently work or notify me when I'm tagged in a comment.

I'm happy to start it up and add people as they wish.

mandk1233 · August 2019

I am with @leksiL on this one. Maybe I will be open to a Facebook group closer to our due dates and once I know everyone better. Right now that's a hard no from me.

leksiL · August 2019

@Mrstomommy1114 yea no. We were very selective with who we let into our FB group and it's an amazing group of women. I'm not joining a group where any Tom, Dick or Harry can be let in. I have pictures of my daughter on my FB page and need to keep her safe. Good luck with that.

AugustGlass · August 2019

My May ‘14 BMB started a Facebook group the January before we were due and that was too early. It’d be better to wait.

Mrstomommy1114 · August 2019

Thanks for the input! Looks like most of you would be comfortable waiting a bit. Totally understood and will revisit this topic in a few months!

brookert615 · August 2019

I agree that it is too early. Stranger danger is real and I think we should vote on the admins and everything as previous BMBs have done.

babylawyer · August 2019

I hear the too early thing, but I’m ready for FB whenever. I don’t find this forum very navigable/user friendly either and I like FB.

craftywitch · August 2019

I'm in my July 16 FB group and also recommend waiting until closer to when babies are born. IMO it's a good idea to go secret group and do invite only after seeing who is going to be active and stick around.

AugustGlass · August 2019

babylawyer said:

I hear the too early thing, but I’m ready for FB whenever. I don’t find this forum very navigable/user friendly either and I like FB.

I agree Facebook is easier (and I love my May 14 group - it’s still active!) but if you start one now there will be a lottttttt of weeding out. And probably drama.

bg122785 · August 2019

Add me to the "wait as long as possible" group. I remember it was a few months, if not longer after my last BMB babies were born before a FB group was started. And it took awhilllllle even then to weed people out.

celticknotfire · August 2019

I agree with waiting a little longer before moving to FB. There have been some serious horror stories of imposters and scammers so I would feel more comfortable waiting.

clee5711 · August 2019

Definitely too early. My May 18 group waited until closer to the babies were due.

kiwi2628 · August 2019

Our O-18 group moved over in September right before/as the babies were born. I like FB soooo much better but it was nice to only allow people that everyone ‘knew’

ibabyloveb87 · August 2019

I love my O16 group but we didn’t do Facebook til the end and knew each other well. I am so not ready for that here.

mcbe4990 · August 2019

@Mrstomommy1114 I'm with you when you start it!

Facebook is way easier/more convenient. This app kind of makes my eyes go crossed and I feel like I miss most posts. Sounds like most would rather wait until closer - maybe revisit in January? And people could start by announcing their births there?

To some of the repliers: totally get the stranger danger thing people were mentioning above, however if you're concerned about this: 1. Set your settings on posts to "friends only" (you don't have to be friends w the ppl in a fbk group. I belong to several global groups w thousands of ppl & I'm not fbk friends w any of them. They can only see your posts in the group) & 2. Don't post pics of your kiddos then. Personally, we post very few & it's set to "friends only". I will text friends or fam a pic if I want to share it, or use the Tiny Beans app. Any form of a social media platform can be dangerous! A fbk group like @Mrstomommy1114 is suggesting is more just for ongoing support/knowledge.

Swiftlet · August 2019

I don’t have Facebook so I’ll be sad when everyone leaves!

brookert615 · August 2019

I personally don't think I will be very active on a Facebook group but who knows. I barely keep up with the groups I currently have and I actually like the set up of the forums haha.

ANYWAYS once we get closer I suggest we do a poll of where everyone's head is at. For example September did polls, admin nominations and then went to a private group first. I personally believe some kind of system would be great. I was a part of TTGP when we had a catfish for almost a year and it really made a lot of us feel very uncomfortable because we all shared some pretty personal things. Just some food for thought

.

Admin nominations: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12743847/admin-nominations-for-private-group#latest

Roll call: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12743841/stop-drop-and-roll-call#latest

Getting the group started: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12744271/september-pineapples-pg-admission-thread/p1

emlwalsh · August 2019

I would prefer Facebook only because I get no notifications for anything from this app except the daily pregnancy info. I have all notifications setup in my account, is there something I'm missing or am I not alone?

I would love to connect more here but frankly I forget it exists.

DDRRT1982 · August 2019

Maybe I am missing some threads, but I don’t really recognize some of the people that are advocating hard for the FB group right now. No offense, but it’s pretty well known that right now is way too early to start that and it’s a little suspect when convos like these start so early. There are fb groups for this due date on fb unrelated to TB, but this group and it’s regulars aren’t established enough to go there yet.

@Swiftlet I didn’t migrate to FB with my last group. We have a small group still going in March ‘18. It is possible to keep things going if we want to and I have every intention of sticking around here. I kind of like the format too.

mandk1233 · August 2019

@DDRRT1982 I was thinking the same thing, but didn't want to say because I thought it made me seem paranoid. 😂😳

jvk2012 · August 2019

When I first saw the title I thought “oh no” but I’m glad to see I’m not the only one hesitant to move to FB now. My BMB for my daughter moved during our birth month.

daffodil_shoe · August 2019

@mcbe4990 simply people here knowing my real name is “stranger danger” enough for me. Someone here could be crazy pants and figure out where people work, try to get them in trouble, etc. All it takes is knowing a name. So again, no thanks.

AugustGlass · August 2019

Everyone who has said it’s better to wait is saying it from experience. Being catfished, money being raised and stolen - plenty of people could share plenty of stories of why it’s better to wait.

alseltzer · August 2019

Although I do think Facebook would be easier for me to manage, I completely agree it's waaayy too early for that now. I would definitely be open to being in a group when we're nearing the end of our pregnancies though. I like the idea of electing admins and such. By that time we'll get to know each other more on here and know who we can feel comfortable enough with for that.

celticknotfire · August 2019

@DDRRT1982 I thought the same thing but I don't post in every thread. I did check some post histories and there wasn't a whole lot of posts from a few.

Also I agree with @daffodil_shoe my profile is set to private but that doesn't mean I want everyone knowing my full name. There are girls from TTGP that I interacted with for way longer than this and most of us don't know each other's real names. There have been some really scary stories of things that have happened so if I'm going to open up that part of my life to people I need to know them a little better first.

ibabyloveb87 · August 2019

Yep even when we had our Facebook group started, we had some sketchy stuff happen. We’ve now got a good group and everything is fine. But yeah, I don’t want people knowing my name yet or seeing my face and my kid’s face. People can be super sketchy.

therealbitts · August 2019

I don’t know if it’s just me or my extra pregnancy anxiety, but this thread has made me super paranoid! Off to check my privacy settings on Facebook.....

oxaudox · August 2019

I'm ready for a Facebook group whenever anyone else is. My photos are friends only and good luck to the person who wants to stalk me, fair warning, you will be bored 😂

Feel free to message me to exchange fb

justjen2oo2 · August 2019

I don't post or reply on here much because I get ZERO notifications on it and it's very frustrating to me to try and sift through all the posts to find things that I've commented on and check for responses. Im fine with a Facebook group whenever one is created, but I also understand that I likely won't be added due to my lack of activity on this frustrating format.

mcbe4990 · August 2019

I also get zero notifications & feel like I'm wasting precious time finding the things I posted on too! Keep thinking I'll get used to it but nooppeeee

allthingsfeta · August 2019

I just want to echo a few others and say that I never get notifications about anything in this group so I am not a very frequent poster (other than my weekly check in with my group), so I wouldn't be surprised if no one knows my handle either. I really wish TB was more user-friendly and their App actually did notifications.

(edited because apparently I can't spell today!)

babylawyer · August 2019

The notifications thing is really the big one for me, and also the culture of discouraging so-called "one-off" discussions. It's a generalist discussion board. That's what it's literally for. People keep starting GREAT discussion topics that merit their own space outside of the the question thread. But like clockwork, a poster swoops in to tell the user not to post one-off discussions. I only check this thing every 2-3 days. I don't have the time or energy to go sifting through the question thread. When I do take the time to sift for a question that interests me, the part that really makes me shake my head is that there may be 10+ responses in the question thread thereby proving that the so-called one-off question would have made an excellent new discussion thread.

I also don't really get where the privacy concerns are suddenly coming from. Between the introductions thread, the wedding pictures thread, the where-are-you-located thread, and any other user post history, especially for frequent posters, it would be very easy to find where most frequent users live, where they work or what they do, what other children or pets they have, and even what they look like, not to mention other miscellaneous life details. This is a completely public online forum where the posts are essentially permanent, and the more often you post, the less anonymous you are. Not to mention, The Bump is a commercial entity that is for sure using this forum to mine the data we contribute and tailor ads to each of us. If privacy is legitimately a concern for folks, stop posting things about yourselves and your families...seriously, lol.

I'm not saying Facebook has to be the venue, and there are things I really like about the community here. It's been valuable in many respects and I'm glad to have a dedicated space to connect with other women having a baby at the same time. It means a lot to get advice from moms who've already been through it before. I feel connected to my fellow first time moms who are experiencing this for the first time and share my same fears and excitement about the process. I'm just finding myself less patient over time with the lack of user-friendliness in the forum's design, and, as y'all can see from my long kind-of-rant above, the way the culture of anti-"one-off" threads feeds into the forum's lack of design user-friendliness by sorting everything into a limited number of threads.

leksiL · August 2019

The bump has a unique culture for pregnancy boards in that yes we are organized. Otherwise you end up with the below nonsense, and very shallow connections between people. This type of forum works in creating close knit groups of intelligent women who actually care about each other. People should feel free to start their own threads. For instance instead of creating an AW post about your own problem seeking immediate support you can make it a question more open to the group which encourages discussion.

If anyone wants to move to a Facebook group more power to you. There are also a ton of pregnancy groups on Facebook.

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/ue/p6ncxi6v7krj.png

ibabyloveb87 · August 2019

@babylawyer the other problem with the one off threads is that a lot of times things have been discussed before and can be searched for. This is less likely right now but as it goes on longer, the same things come up a lot. I already notice this in the questions thread with similar questions being posted more than once. It happens but there is a search function for a reason.

doodleoodle · August 2019

I have looked at other pregnancy forums and immediately noticed what @leksil pointed out. It was so out of hand that September moms were posting on the February board. Also, not everyone is even out of their first trimester. Why even come to The Bump if you’re just going to try to recruit people to leave 1/3 of he way through your pregnancy? How’s is this thread still alive?

brookert615 · August 2019

If you're not seeing notifications on mobile, try requesting the desktop site in a browser

. That's how I bump on mobile! I can see my notifications and go through everything that way. Hope that helps!

*eta - I can't spell.

ibabyloveb87 · August 2019

@brookert615 I forgot that’s how I used to do it!!!!

DDRRT1982 · August 2019

The bump really isn’t hard. The whole concept of not starting a FB group fresh out of the first tri is also not a foreign concept considering most bmb don’t do this. Also, if you are such a big creeper that you take our vague posts on here and piece together parts of our lives to google search that is just weird and not really a great argument for me to ever want to be in a FB group.

For those that are concerned about not posting here frequently enough to be considered, the beauty about us just now being out of the first tri is that we have 26 more weeks before these babies are due and I am sure more than enough time to contribute and make connections. You definitely don’t have to participate in every post or even everyday. That’s the beauty of having the whole pregnancy to get to “know” each other and develop connections. Enjoy the ride guys, this isn’t that difficult.

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