How are you feeling? Tired, hot, did I mention tired?
Rants/Raves: Rants upon rants. Friends of our had a baby 3 weeks ago, and dad has had serious mental health issues over the last year, including hospitalization. Apparently he's basically been in hiding since baby arrived, so mom has been doing almost everything on her own. They hired a night nurse so that she could actually get some sleep. That would be a very frustrating situation to me, but also very difficult in terms of what other option does she have? On top of that, my husband, who also has (much much lesser degree) mental health issues, reacted to hearing about that by basically saying he needs "a slap in the face and told to get his shit together". Um, what? Since when does that help anyone with anxiety or depression?! He's also clearly jealous about the fact that he feels like this guy is getting away with things with zero consequences while he's worked really hard to "fix" himself. But he also hides all of this from his friends so it's not like they even know he struggles with it.
And on top of that, another friend of all of ours told us yesterday that they went to visit the new baby but specifically didn't tell them ahead of time because they would have "locked the door and pretended not to be home". But since they showed up unannounced, they ended up staying to visit for a few hours. And they're planning on doing it again in the future. SO. NOT. COOL. First of all you don't do that to someone who's in such an anxious state that they hardly even interact with their wife or new baby, and secondly you DO NOT do that to a mother of a newborn who's just trying to get through the day.
Questions: N/A
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? This is super tough. It's a toss up between wishing my family (including parents and siblings) was financially stable, or wishing my husband's mental state was stable. Either one would reduce a huge amount of stress in my life.
@CapricaAndrea WOW--can't believe your friend (the visitors) could be so rude! Can I assume they don't have kids? On a different note--I hope things get better for your friend who just had her baby.
@ninrms No, they do not have kids, though they are planning to TTC in the next 6 months, so they'll learn. But they are both quite, uh, "pushy" for lack of a better term. The good news is that "dad" was actually downstairs and visited with them, so it sounds like he's starting to get better than when I was there just 3 days earlier than them. Hopefully that trend continues. I know he started a new medication about 10 days ago that takes a few weeks to fully kick in, so I'm really hoping for them that this is the right medication.
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: tomorrow is 23 weeks! EDD 12/17
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: GREEN
Upcoming Appointments: 8/26
How are you feeling? Feeling great physically, it's crazy awesome feeling baby and seeing my stomach move as a result. Mentally I am Dory, "just keep swimming."
Rants/Raves: Rave: had an awesome birthday long weekend with almost all of my closest girlfriends from college at the beach. Rant: some major work stressors, came in this morning to a letter and my key that my newest employee (about 90 days) resigned Friday (when I was off) with no notice. Thankfully I offered someone a position last week and we are getting the ball rolling on her, but I really really really need a 3rd person so I can have some semblance of maternity leave. Days like today make me wish I was just someone's employee and not a small business owner. As a result I had to move my next dr appt because my other amazing employee had requested off the same day and I can't just close up shop for 2 hrs.
Questions: none at the moment
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? ha, the irony of this questions is that today I would wish for two more amazing employees.
@CapricaAndrea I would hand them a vacuum or a dishrag if they showed up to my house unannounced. Hell no. Don't do anything to make new mom's life harder.
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: 22w1d EDD Dec 22 (but will induce by December 17)
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Blue
Upcoming Appointments: Nothing until Sept 13, just regular OB. Unless blood sugars or blood pressure get out of whack.
How are you feeling? I'm feeling really off today. Not sure if it's because I had a busy weekend and didn't rest enough, I'm getting sick, it's the heat, or just having an off day. I'm also very anxious about the baby, more than normal. I've felt small movements but nothing big and I think I'm in my head about it.
Rants/Raves:
Rant: baby stuff is stupid expensive and it sucks. We were in a pretty stable place financially, even with my high risk pregnancy. Then DH's back went out and DS got sick. I think we've spent so much money at the doctor this month...ugh. I just want to buy nursery furniture. Not pay another doctor.
Rave: we pulled of DS1's birthday party this weekend. At our house. We are both introverts so having a party for us is a big deal. And we did it! DS did great the whole time and it all went well.
Questions: Ideas on how to get out of the funk?
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be?
Financial stability. I don't need to be rich but I'm tired of worrying about money. We both have good jobs, are fairly responsible, but it just seems unexpected stuff keeps coming up to make it hard to save as much as we want.
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: DD of 12/18, 23 weeks on Wednesday
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Pink
Upcoming Appointments: Dentist appt today (cleaning), Ultrasound on 8/26 (finishing up anatomy scan, they couldn't get all the angles they needed at 19wks), Follow up appt w/OBGYN on 8/28
How are you feeling? Pretty darn good. Especially mentally. Also hairy, I feel as hairy as a werewolf.
Rants/Raves: No rants. I'm happy to start working from home this week. It will be nice to be making money and getting some mental stimulation again.
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? That is kinda a hard one. Right now I wish for a healthy pregnancy and baby. If I could know now for sure that I can make it the full 40 wks or even 38 and she will come out healthy and happy, that would be such a blessing.
Upcoming Appointments: tmw for our next Anatomy Scan, this little bugger better be striking poses for the cam this time!
How are you feeling? Coming back from vaca always feels weird, I did something active each day but I think I was just over stimulated and exhausted at the end of every day which made me feel guilty for my extended fam + DH. I like to be around everyone but I just couldn’t do everything I’m used to.
Rants/Raves: had a great week with family. Got a Vitamix yesterday at Costco which I just made actual pizza dough with, so pumped about it. Looking forward to fall. There, I said it. IM SICK OF BEING SWEATY UNDER MY BOOBS.
Questions: I always tell my husband “I’ll ask the girls on the bump” then when it comes time I never remember!
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be?
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: 22w tomorrow, due 12/24
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: Blue
Upcoming Appointments: Next Friday I have AS round two (heart pictures), then a midwife appointment and appt with my normal general practitioner (still an OB visit) two weeks after that. Excited to meet with the midwife...I was NOT impressed with my OB at the hospital.
How are you feeling? Overall pretty good! Back pain SO much better since we've been back home from vacation. Very, very tired.
Rants/Raves: I'm excited *and* dreading going back to school! Summer break has been lovely, but workshop week starts next Monday...I'm not ready! Students come back the day after Labor day (so, grateful for the *late* start to the school year!). I'm so happy to be teaching high school again, and sooooo grateful that I'm only going to be there every other day instead of full time. It's going to be weird, though!
Questions:
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? This is such a tough one! I really think that, given the circumstances, I have to land on wishing for a healthy, happy baby, for me and for all you mamas!
@capricaandrea I am sorry for your friend and her husband. I hope the new medication helps. I can imagine how tough the situation is for all involved.
@anniemarie887 I am sorry about the new employee, that really sucks. Hopefully everything will be situated for your leave.
@stac928 I am glad the party went well, but sorry for all the unexpected expenses. When it rains, it pours.
@mrszoobear good luck with working from home, I know that has to be a huge relief.
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: 12/22 22w1d
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: team blue
Upcoming Appointments: I have AS 2.0 next week. Hopefully little guy cooperates and we can see everything they missed last month.
How are you feeling? Relatively good. MS is still pretty bad, but I get a few days break here and there. I have been sleeping horribly thanks to my older children, and that is really starting to get to me. I have been contemplating taking a day off work for myself, but feel conflicted since I am hoarding time for maternity leave.
Rants/Raves: I have my work baby shower on Thursday. I hate being the center of attention, so I think it is great that there are 3 of us pregnant and due in December, so it is a shared shower.
Questions: None
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? Good health for my family.
Est Due Date/Weeks + Days: due 12/19 - 22 weeks and a few days
Team Finding Out/Blue/Pink/Green: she's a girl!
Upcoming Appointments: 8/21 regular OB visit
How are you feeling? very big! I can't believe I can keep growing beyond this! I already feel stretched SO tight in my stomach!
Rants/Raves: My sister is super excited to have a niece. It's really fun.
Questions: okay, two questions. One is that I found a used bassinet of questionable origins at a thrift store. I bought it, but then immediately regretted it. There's this weird netting inside and the mattress is an odd shape and has no sheet and I don't know where I would even find one to fit it. It's frankly a source of anxiety for me that this baby is potentially going to sleep in there. I found a used arms reach cosleeper in great shape at a kids consignment store for $70. That's a good deal and I should just do it, right? It makes me feel way less nervous and just seems less rickety.
Second question: anyone else feeling worried about the gestational diabetes test coming up?
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? I'd wish for a magic solution to climate change.
@brrrrrrrrie I would get the arms reach one. Sounds safer. By the way king size pillow cases work as a “sheet”
also I’ve already been tested. I was at risk because I had GD last pregnancy. It’s a pain but not horrible. I wouldn’t worry too much. The drink is gross. But no matter the outcome you’ll be fine.
@Stac928 thanks! We're really not spending much on baby stuff, so even $70 feels like a lot. But I think you're right. It seems safer. That's definitely worth it.
@brrrrrrrrie - Have you considered using a pack n play instead of a co sleeper or bassinet? It would last a long time, can be used longer then a bassinet and just as long if not longer then a co sleeper and then you could take it with you whenever you travel. The one I have on my registry is $80 but I know I saw some that were cheaper so it should be in that same price range.
@mrszoobear I was just looking at pack and plays online last night! My hang up is that I'm a crazy person and am really trying not to buy anything new. We got a used crib from some neighbors, but it's way too big to fit in our room for the first six months that they recommend she sleep near us. If I could find a used pack and play I think I might go for it. I'll just have to see what shows up at the consignment store. It's definitely a backwards way to shop for baby stuff, but it does make it really fun when we find what we're looking for!
@brrrrrrrrie if you're already anxious about using the bassinet, it is NOT going to get any better when baby is actually here.
They also make "mini" pack n' plays if space is a concern, and they sometimes come with the extra "bassinet" attachment too. I got one from Facebook marketplace when my son was born, and then sold it again when he was too big for it (upgraded to a second-hand full size PnP).
hi ya'll I feel like I posted and ghosted yesterday.
@CapricaAndrea that's crazy about your friend, I also don't think not having a kid is an excuse for that behavior. this is my first and I would've never done that to someone. common sense.
@Stac928 I get you about the med bills, we're about $700 from our $5000 deductible. barf. do you guys do a HSA account? it really has made a difference for us and helps come tax time.
@mrszoobear so glad you're excited about work! I bet it will feel great to get in a routine.
@ktmaesim you said FALL! I'm like buddy the elf jumping for joy over here, haha.
@ninrms kudos to you for teaching high schoolers, I'm not sure I could handle all of that attitude.
@holly321 thanks, nothing like a 17 week time line to get someone up and running, and try and find a 3rd person. under pressure dododododododo(sing it with me!)
@brrrrrrrrie can you try and find the brand? with you saying mesh, I'm wondering if it's one of the newer Halo ones. and if the mattress is kind of peanut shaped?! they are super sleep safe, the guy who started that company is an engineer and he lost a child to SIDS in the 90s.
whew, ok I think I got everyone... now to brainstorm a fun GTKY for the board... I need some brain fluff after yesterday.
Upcoming Appointments: Friday - U/S for heart pictures & placenta placement directly followed up with a midwife appointment and blood work for my thyroid
How are you feeling? Tired & cranky. It's orientation time at work right now and classes start back up tomorrow. Yesterday I had 2 back to back presentations that were an hour long each and by the end of it I was so tired I had to sit down and rest, even though I was supposed to be prepping for the job fair today. By the time I left work I was exhausted and having braxton hicks. By bed time I was so tired I couldn't fall asleep or get comfortable and my daughter wasn't going to bed either which just made me even more exhausted and emotional.
Rants/Raves: Stupid people are really driving me crazy and I'm having a hard time not expressing it. Yesterday campus patrol was handing out parking passes in our building (I work in the Union and it's not big at all). Instead of people actually opening up their eyes and looking for them they were coming into our office asking where they were set up. After about the 5th person I just about lost my shit. Then, this morning I get a text from my midwifes clinic saying I need to reschedule an appointment in October. I call the number they left back and it was the wrong number, finally I get a hold of the correct scheduling department and the lady on the phone is a moron. I spell my last name for her and she said she couldn't find me in the system... she had my name butchered even though I spelled it to her twice! Then when trying to reschedule it she kept trying to schedule me at clinics that are on the other side of the valley when I specifically asked to be rescheduled at the same clinic... this went back and forth for way too long and being placed on hold twice. Finally she gets it rescheduled at the correct clinic and then starts going over my information asking me if I've had an address change in the last 6 months (no... and not sure why you're asking 6 months, that's never been asked that far back, but ok.) THEN she tries to tell me I have an HMO. I don't have an HMO but she was adamant that I did. Finally I just said my insurance hasn't changed in the last 2 years and asked if she needed anything else from me.
Questions: Has anyone else started having BH yet? I don't remember having them this early with my daughter, but know second+ time around they can start sooner. Yesterday was the 3rd round of got of them and they come about once every few minutes for about 10-15 min. They're freaking me out a bit because my midwife said if I get anything consistent then I should head to the OB-ER immediately. They've gone away, but it's been enough for me to monitor.
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? to skip straight to October and not have busy time at work.
Thanks, you all. I went back to the consignment store today and found a used graco travel crib with a bassinet for even less than the arms reach. It's smaller, folds up super easily, and I think it's exactly what we needed. I love it when things work out! Also, you're right @anniemarie887 that the mesh insert was a halo. The bassinet it was in was not a halo, though, and the mesh thing says absolutely not to use it on anything that isn't the specific halo bassinet it was made for. Those warnings seem so dire, and I would feel so bad if anything happened, that I decided to go for a different setup altogether. Luckily the original bassinet cost me $5 so it's not a big loss.
@ashorkey can you describe them better? I have gotten some cramping but I'm not sure if it's just water or soreness or what is happening. I left the gym last night bc it was really irritating me on the cardio machines that I just said eff it and left to go lay down at home. It feels to me like light menstrual cramps, they're uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as period cramps. I'm glad you brought it up here, I'm intrigues to hear what you have felt now and with previous pregnancy. Thanks!
@brrrrrrrrie bummer it wasn't an actual halo bassinet for $5 that would've been a MAJOR deal.
@ashorkey also curious like @ktmaesim said. i initially thought baby was just like sticking its butt out against my stomach, it get a hard spot kind of.... but now thinking maybe BH?
@anniemarie887@ktmaesim they aren’t painful, but your whole stomach will almost tense up and get hard all over. The best way to describe it is that it’s almost as if your abs are flexing without your control but a deeper level down. If that makes at all any sense.
Ohhhh that’s not what I have been feeling! 😢😩 mine feel like period cramps just more bearable and only last like 1 min or so. Then I’m feeling normal. Should I call doc????
@ktmaesim also make sure to really hydrate. It's amazing how many pregnancy ailments are solved with this. It's also usually the doc's first suggestion. I find that I have increased cramping when I'm dehydrated.
Upcoming Appointments: 8/27 for another growth ultrasound, glucose screening and meet with my OB. 8/29 for follow up with my oncologist. The perinatologist said he wanted me to start getting every other week checks of my cervical length too, so I assume I’ll start doing those as well.
How are you feeling? I feel generally ok. Recovery from surgery is slow and steady. Lots of slow walks and long naps. I’m trying to stretch as much as possible because my body gets ache-y from all the napping. I’m trying to keep my mind occupied by thinking of as many things to plan and organize for the future as possible. I have no idea what my chemo schedule will be, but you better believe I already have ideas for a “chemo calendar” that will show who’s with me, if my husband’s working, who’s taking care of the baby, etc. My husband gets it but also thinks I’m nuts, which is pretty accurate. All this unknown is tough for a control freak like myself!
Rants/Raves: Rave - last night both my husband and I felt our little guy kick from the outside for the first time and it was so great. I’m generally a very facts/figures/evidence person, but I can FEEL that our little guy is doing great in there and will be born healthy no matter how early I have to deliver. It feels insane to me to say something like that, but it’s a weirdly intense feeling I have.
Questions: For those STM and more moms - what are the things you’d keep track of regularly when it comes to the baby if you were to (or have) rotated through caregivers? I’m thinking like when they were fed, how much, nap time & duration, poops, etc. Anything I’m missing? With me being out of action for chemo I want to make sure the various people we have helping us are all maintaining some kind of consistency for our little guy.
GTKY: IF you could have one wish, and it is not allowed to be for more wishes, what would that wish be? I’ve had things boiled down to the basics for me lately. So it would mostly be to live and be healthy - for me and my little guy. Though someone on another group asked for dogs to live longer and that really resonated with me too. 😆
@lucylivesinwa I used the Glow Baby app to track food (when and amount, and if BF which side) and diapers (wet and BM). If/when necessary we could also track medication administration. My husband, my mom, and I were primary caregivers. We all had access (and you can have more people than that) and then all can check it at any time. There is the ability to add pictures and milestones too. We usually just passed on sleep information verbally, if I recall correctly. I can't remember if napping can be tracked in that app or not.
I used to track growth after appointments too.
There are several apps like that designed for multiple caregivers to use to track info and share. Our birthing class instructor recommended that one and it met our needs so we went with it.
ETA: I think I also tracked pumping sessions in that app
@lucylivesinwa I use a great app called BabyTracker that keeps track of all those things, as well as medications (trust me, if baby is teething or something and it's the middle of the night you need something to tell you exactly how long it's been since the last dose, and even moreso if it's a task divided amongst multiple people).
I made an account on my phone and then it can easily be shared with my husband and anyone else that may be responsible for the baby so everyone has the same information. Of course this might not work if someone in the rotation is anti-technology, though if you have an older phone or an ipad or something there could always be a central one next to the change table or something for people to use.
Re: Group 3 Check in w/o 8-19-19
And on top of that, another friend of all of ours told us yesterday that they went to visit the new baby but specifically didn't tell them ahead of time because they would have "locked the door and pretended not to be home". But since they showed up unannounced, they ended up staying to visit for a few hours. And they're planning on doing it again in the future. SO. NOT. COOL. First of all you don't do that to someone who's in such an anxious state that they hardly even interact with their wife or new baby, and secondly you DO NOT do that to a mother of a newborn who's just trying to get through the day.
This is super tough. It's a toss up between wishing my family (including parents and siblings) was financially stable, or wishing my husband's mental state was stable. Either one would reduce a huge amount of stress in my life.
The good news is that "dad" was actually downstairs and visited with them, so it sounds like he's starting to get better than when I was there just 3 days earlier than them. Hopefully that trend continues. I know he started a new medication about 10 days ago that takes a few weeks to fully kick in, so I'm really hoping for them that this is the right medication.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
I think I’d just wish happiness on everyone.
@anniemarie887 I am sorry about the new employee, that really sucks. Hopefully everything will be situated for your leave.
@stac928 I am glad the party went well, but sorry for all the unexpected expenses. When it rains, it pours.
@mrszoobear good luck with working from home, I know that has to be a huge relief.
Second question: anyone else feeling worried about the gestational diabetes test coming up?
also I’ve already been tested. I was at risk because I had GD last pregnancy. It’s a pain but not horrible. I wouldn’t worry too much. The drink is gross. But no matter the outcome you’ll be fine.
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
@brrrrrrrrie I love your wish!! I've been watching "Our Planet" on Netflix, and it makes my heart sick.
They also make "mini" pack n' plays if space is a concern, and they sometimes come with the extra "bassinet" attachment too. I got one from Facebook marketplace when my son was born, and then sold it again when he was too big for it (upgraded to a second-hand full size PnP).
@CapricaAndrea that's crazy about your friend, I also don't think not having a kid is an excuse for that behavior. this is my first and I would've never done that to someone. common sense.
@Stac928 I get you about the med bills, we're about $700 from our $5000 deductible. barf. do you guys do a HSA account? it really has made a difference for us and helps come tax time.
@mrszoobear so glad you're excited about work! I bet it will feel great to get in a routine.
@ktmaesim you said FALL! I'm like buddy the elf jumping for joy over here, haha.
@ninrms kudos to you for teaching high schoolers, I'm not sure I could handle all of that attitude.
@holly321 thanks, nothing like a 17 week time line to get someone up and running, and try and find a 3rd person. under pressure dododododododo (sing it with me!)
@brrrrrrrrie can you try and find the brand? with you saying mesh, I'm wondering if it's one of the newer Halo ones. and if the mattress is kind of peanut shaped?! they are super sleep safe, the guy who started that company is an engineer and he lost a child to SIDS in the 90s.
whew, ok I think I got everyone... now to brainstorm a fun GTKY for the board... I need some brain fluff after yesterday.
edit: b/c spelling is hard.
@ashorkey also curious like @ktmaesim said. i initially thought baby was just like sticking its butt out against my stomach, it get a hard spot kind of.... but now thinking maybe BH?
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
@lucylivesinwa I used the Glow Baby app to track food (when and amount, and if BF which side) and diapers (wet and BM). If/when necessary we could also track medication administration. My husband, my mom, and I were primary caregivers. We all had access (and you can have more people than that) and then all can check it at any time. There is the ability to add pictures and milestones too. We usually just passed on sleep information verbally, if I recall correctly. I can't remember if napping can be tracked in that app or not.
I used to track growth after appointments too.
There are several apps like that designed for multiple caregivers to use to track info and share. Our birthing class instructor recommended that one and it met our needs so we went with it.
ETA: I think I also tracked pumping sessions in that app
Married 1/28/17
TW:
BFP #2 10/10/17, MC 11/4/17
BFP #3 12/17/17 Birth 8/13/18
BFP #4 4/21/19 Birth 12/5/2019
I made an account on my phone and then it can easily be shared with my husband and anyone else that may be responsible for the baby so everyone has the same information. Of course this might not work if someone in the rotation is anti-technology, though if you have an older phone or an ipad or something there could always be a central one next to the change table or something for people to use.