I agree our medical system is messed up. I mean my husband's work insurance is extremely expensive per month and covers 60/40 on midday procedures and 70/30 on the others.
@doodleoodle yes they did but I did have a job. And I had to start buying my own hygiene products and school clothes at 15. The second I got a part time job it was kind of like that's it you are on your own. I thought that's how most parents think? I have never had help as an adult. My parents say if you don't struggle for it you won't appreciate it. Is this normal?
@sunshinegarden none of my friends or I were kicked out. I would’ve been screwed if I was kicked out at 18, cuz I would’ve been homeless my entire senior year. I moved out on my own when I went off to college. I had a part time job at 16 to pay for gas for my car.
@sunshinegarden I’ve never heard of anyone’s parents taking that approach. My parents had no money and even though I was on my own my dad still paid for my car insurance for a couple of years. Most people I know are encouraged to go to local colleges so that they can stay at home with their parents during that time and save up for the real world.
@sunshinegarden I definitely don’t think that’s the majority. My upbringing was tough and my mom had no money and was an alcoholic single parent but I still lived at home until I got married at 21. My sister is 26 and is still living at home because she just finished nursing school. I had a job as a teenager to help out with bills though because it was hard for our family. I truly don’t know of anyone getting kicked out of their homes that young unless it was because they were doing things they shouldn’t have been doing (drugs, stealing, etc) and their parents couldn’t handle it anymore but even that was rare.
Also, the proposal age. DH and I were 19 when we got engaged and 21 when we got married. Started having kids at 24. Statistically, that isn’t the norm but it still happens. Most of our friends and family were married in their young 20s.
@doodleoodle yes they did but I did have a job. And I had to start buying my own hygiene products and school clothes at 15. The second I got a part time job it was kind of like that's it you are on your own. I thought that's how most parents think? I have never had help as an adult. My parents say if you don't struggle for it you won't appreciate it. Is this normal?
That makes me so sad for you! My parents live a mile from me and still help me out (watching kids, watching our dogs, bringing food). Sometimes it’s financial, but only if it’s something they want to gift us.
I wasn’t kicked out at 18, but it was kind of understood you go to college or you move out and they cut you off. When I quit gymnastics and came home my parents assumed control, stuck me in a school I didn’t want to go to, and then kicked me out of that school when I didn’t get the grades they thought I should. I ended up moving in with my boyfriend when I didn’t want their lovely offer of coming home to an early curfew and working full time. I ended up getting pregnant six months later. I was an adult technically, but also so young and could have used a little support after transitioning out of gymnastics into the real world. I had a really privileged life, but honestly I would of given up all of the gymnastics or things to just know my parents supported me and were behind me. @sunshinegarden I totally understand your desire to have that close family where support extends to adulthood. I will never enable my kids, but they will always have a home and support with me.
@DDRRT1982 I can totally relate. My parents are wealthy but have never been physically or mentally present. I promised myself I would never be like that and make sure to really listen and make personal time for my kids. The maid had to babysit us and we would spend days alone once I reached 14. Sure I was fine, but wouldn't it be nice to sit down as a family for dinner every night and have parents who care where you are, or to just check the locks at night? My husband was right my parents are weird.
@sunshinegarden ditto everybody. I don't know anyone whose parents kicked them out once they turn 18. My parents always did everything to help me and my siblings. Same for my friends. Everybody is doing well and appreciate what they have in life. My H has a cousin who is still living at home at 35. His parents love it. They are in their 70s and not in the best health. He has a full-time job but helps his parents with yard work and maintaining their property. Win-win for everyone (he plans to move out soon though).
TTC#1 10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml) 11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged 1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele 4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery 6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020 Baby girl born 2/27/2020 7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
My dad joked about cutting us off at 18, but he still helped my brother and I through college. I cut the last financial cord (cell phone) at my insistence when I graduated. Family support is nice, but some people will take advantage of it. Hubby has a deadbeat brother who failed out of college (twice), lives at home with their father, and won't get anything more than a part time job.
Re: UO 8/1
*Formerly LuND*
Me: 35 | DH: 37
TTC: 7/2016
Low AMH, mild MFI
BFP 7/29/17
EDD: 4/5/18
BFP #2 7/2/19
EDD 3/13/20
Also, the proposal age. DH and I were 19 when we got engaged and 21 when we got married. Started having kids at 24. Statistically, that isn’t the norm but it still happens. Most of our friends and family were married in their young 20s.
My H has a cousin who is still living at home at 35. His parents love it. They are in their 70s and not in the best health. He has a full-time job but helps his parents with yard work and maintaining their property. Win-win for everyone (he plans to move out soon though).
10/2018: MFI (2 SA under 9 million/ml)
11/2018: HSG shows right Fallopian tube slightly damaged
1/2019: Husband diagnosed with grade 3 varicocele
4/05/2019: varicocele repair surgery
6/13/2019: BFP!!! EDD: 2/22/2020
7/18/2019: Total Motile Count at 3 months post surgery = 51 millions!! (number must be >20 millions to conceive naturally).
TTC #2
9/07/2021: BFP - CP: 9/10/2021
10/07/2021: BFP - CP: 10/23/2021
12/23/2021: BFP! EDD: 08/31/2022