January 2020 Moms
marebear15
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STMs share your birth stories!
marebear15
member
FTMs are usually very curious as to how their birth stories will go. Let's give them some real life experiences!
Re: STMs share your birth stories!
I got checked in, rated my pain at about a 5-6, and the nurse was surprised when I checked in at 6 cm. I wanted to see how long I could go without pain medication, so I got the tub room in the hospital (they only had one, score!), and DH blew up my birthing ball. Two hours later I was a 7, and I got an IV of pain meds, that wore off in an hour and I got another one which also lasted about an hour. It took the edge off enough for me to focus through every contraction. But then I stalled at 8 cm and they couldn't give me any more, so I went into the tub for about 20 minutes before the nurses got worried that they couldn't monitor me. After stalling for about 3 hours, I got my water broken, but only a trickle came out. DD's head was right there. The trickle that did come out was tinged brown which meant she had pooped in the uterus.
That's when I hit transition. DD had been face up up this whole time, which meant her spine was on my spine, and I was feeling every contraction in my back. An older nurse barged in through the door and demanded we turn this baby! They put me on oxygen because DD's heartrate had started to decline and forced me in unnatural positions. Each contraction was horrid because I couldn't do my breathing exercises with the oxygen on, and DH wasn't there to put counter pressure on.
Things started to get hectic as they decided I should push and hopefully DD would come out sunny side up. The NICU team was also crowded in a corner in case DD came out with meconium aspiration (swallowing and breathing in her poop). My OB arrived just as I started the first push. Her heartrate dropped significantly each time, and with my first push, my water went all over him. They prepped the OR, and my OB said if I could get DD out before the OR was ready, we could try vaginally. He used the vacuum 3 times but DD had too much hair. So off to the OR I went!
It was a good call because DD came out with a body cord so tight it bruised her chest. When they tried to turn her, she flipped against her cord and that's why her heartrate was dropping. She failed her APGAR badly (just a 1), and was rushed to the NICU for meconium aspiration.
Even though I didn't get to hold her until 12 hours after birth, and didn't get to start nursing until about 18 hours, she was an amazing breastfeeder! And we were both able to leave the hospital just 3 days after birth.
PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
PG #3: EDD 12/15/23
Once I got home I alternated between napping and being very active (mostly vacuuming), trying to stimulate labor but also conserve energy for the likely push ahead. I also ate lots of good filling foods since my hospital only allows popsicles and jello once you're in labor. Cramping started that afternoon. I fell in and out of sleep in the evening and around 10 slowly started to realize that the cramps were becoming timable. They never, however, got regular. Some would be two minutes apart, and some would be seven, so it made it hard to tell how to proceed. I didn't really sleep that night for more than a minute at a time, and spent lots of it curled on the bathroom floor. This was the "laboring at home" everybody dreams about, but I freaking hated it.
By 6 am contractions still weren't regular, but they were getting intense so I woke up H and called the midwife on call. She encouraged me to try to wait a little longer to come in as a low-risk FTM, but I was starting to feel nervous about the GBS drugs I needed to get and also just hated being in my house. I made it one more hour and choked down some coffee and an egg sandwich and we left. The drive was AWFUL. It's only 15 minutes in my case but driving in labor is super miserable.
In triage they checked me and I was a 5/6. Perfect timing! My doula (a friend) met us there too. They asked if I was still looking to go in the "birth center" room and avoid an epidural. After the rough overnight I almost bailed but in the end I decided to give it a try. Once we were there I got in a really great rhythm with breathing through my contractions and honestly thought it wasn't too bad. My meditation had prepared me well. I didn't see my midwife much as it was apparently a busy day but my nurse was assigned only to me and was amazing. She specializes in this room so is totally geared toward supporting people who want unmedicated, no pressure. I had intermittent monitoring with a doppler and that was cool, though painful when they did it during contractions. Positions I preferred were standing and kneeling with my hands on the bed (this made everyone super worried for my knees). I liked the tub but it seemed to slow me down, so I could only use it for brief breaks. I got my GBS drugs first dose but then was disconnected from the IV for free movement.
I was surprised when my MW checked me about 5 hours in and said I was at a 9, but hadn't gone through transition yet. She broke my waters (with permission) and man it's crazy to see yourself deflate and then the outline of a baby in there! The nurse was guessing how big he was and didn't believe me when I said 9-she was thinking 7. Transition followed quickly and was very hard but I knew it wouldn't be forever. Baby was in a good position so I didn't experience back labor. It was more like crazy period cramps for me. Got the second dose of GBS drugs somewhere around this point.
Then it came time to push, which everyone told me was the "big relief" after the pain of contractions. This was NOT the case for me at all. Pushing was hard, painful, and I felt bad at it. I never felt the urge to push at any time. They wanted me to hold my breath while pushing which I found so hard after all this practice breathing through pain. For the first hour I don't think I was effective at all. For the second hour we made some progress, and 90 minutes in I was able to feel his head with my hand. So he was right there, but not moving fast. His heartbeat stayed strong though. Around 2.5 hours, he's still chilling in the birth canal and my midwife is starting to look nervous. She says "I think you've got a big guy there" and I'm thinking duh, this is what I've been saying all along! She tried to be low key but I heard her page the OB on call to stay nearby and saw her start fiddling with some scary looking scissors.
At 3 hours, he's still chilling in the birth canal with a strong heartbeat and I'm wondering how the heck we get out of this. I was so tired my contractions were starting to slow and weaken. MW says we're going to rest a couple, then move to a "regular" room across the hall so she has "all her tools" available. After one more push, she's going to try an episiotomy. I said fine, whatever, I want this done. I also asked for an epidural since I felt like things like forceps were probably coming soon. An anesthesiologist appeared out of thin air the second I said the word, but I wanted to try the "one push" first. So they move me, we get there, and I push with all I have. It didn't feel any different from any other pushes, but suddenly there was a baby on my chest. There were a lot of people in the room, and I'm not sure who they were, but DS was fine so they quickly scattered. He was all head so there was no issue with the shoulders.
I had no frame of reference for newborn size so I was just like yay! My baby! There's no greater feeling than this. I did not even notice the placenta come out but my doula took a picture of it for me and it was massive. I did notice the stitches (2nd degree, has healed up fine). Apparently I lost more blood than is standard but not enough to cause me any troubles or interrupt feeding and skin to skin. At some point, the nurses started saying WHOA, he's huge, and guessing his weight, and when the OB guessed 11 I knew this was not normal. They asked permission to weight him after his first nursing was done (normally would be at 12 hours) and it turned out he was 10 lbs. 7 oz. So that happened. I did not have GD and he passed all his sugars, and he's remained a "99th percentile" kid his whole life. At 2.5ish he's wearing hats for 6 year olds.
Though everything went well the pushing was just awful for me, and that's why I'm considering going epidural this time. I'm kind of afraid of it and looking forward to reading some good (hopefully positive) experiences.
I’ll write my birth story when I get a chance!
RE newborn clothes: I didn't buy any because DD was measuring 90 percentile the whole time, but she only came out 8lbs3oz and needed newborn clothes and diapers for about 2 weeks.
I woke up after a good nights sleep one week to the day early of my due date feeling vibrations. I thought it was my alarm/phone vibrating in my bed and I remember just looking around for it in the bed, to realize it was on my night stand. I thought, oh this must be what a braxton hick is! haha nope, it was the start of labour which I did not realize right away but soon after did.
Going into birth my main goals were A) do as much as I can at home to avoid being sent home from the hospital to early,
Since this all started happening a week to the day of my due date I had a nail appointment booked already for that morning, I had breakfast and made my way there. The lady doing my nails was pregnant too and couldn't believe/ look at me going through contractions and doing my nails haha. Once that was done I made my way to my favourite lunch spot and had my "last lunch". I thought you know what, I am going to have a baby attached to me for the next year, I need to enjoy a nice lunch alone at a restaurant
Make our way to the maternity ward, I get on the table to measure my contractions and the reason I hadn't noticed how close they were is that I was only measuring what I thought was painful, not the start of vibrations since I didnt notice them so hard. It's now 11pm and the dr comes to check me to see if I'm admitted (my biggest worry and fear is that I would be 3 or 4 cm and would be sent back home, I thought oh man if this is the pain you feel at 4cm what the hell is coming at 10cm!) So Dr does the check and was shocked, I was already 7.5cm, I started crying out of happiness. By the time they rolled me out of the room to the actual labour room I was at 8.5cm. They offered me the air but that did nothing but slow and steady my breathing so I moved it away. My Doula put on the TENS Machine on my lower back and hips, every contraction she would increase the strength of the pulse....this was a LIFE SAVER, it literally took away all the pain of labour by having that electric current/pressure go in unison with the contractions. My water hadn't broke yet and it was almost midnight and they kept saying if you want an epidural you need it now since the anesthesiologist is going home, I got nervous since I didnt know what to still expect, in the end I said whatever let her go home, they broke my water (Which had meconium in it (similar to @marebear15 so the NICU team had to be there in case).
I was stuck at 9 for a while (it helped moving onto my knees and back, which I thought was impossible at the time) and was then at 9.5. My body was already pushing her out but I was told I couldn't till 10, that for me was the most painful part of the whole labour. I told the nurse to just hold it down and then boom 10cm and she was crowing, dr had to run on, I pushed very briefly and she was out! The room was kind of shocked since she was massive almost 10lbs and I am a tiny small person. They checked her over and all was well, I was just in shock how big she was. I started to hemorrhage so they did have to put an IV in after all, I had 2 stitches which they didn't even numb what the heck... and the placenta coming out was the weirdest/ gross feeling. Since they thought DD had sugar issues I had to keep her skin to skin right away for a 6 hour period, thus I did not sleep, but it was great bonding and I held her ever since.
Things that got me through:
- being distracted and calm all day, alone time and hanging out without any questions
- eating a ton of food all day
- having a good nights rest before (may not be that lucky this time)
- the TENS machine for contractions
My second pregnancy was less eventful, and way different. After being 4/5cm at 36w, in launch position, my OB freaking out about preterm delivery...my son backed himself out and refused to come out. I like to imagine him in there going HELL NO I WON'T GO. He was evicted at 40w4d. I ended up getting an epidural with him, but it didn't much work...until I said, this is really starting to hurt now. The nurse came in, hit the button and said, Ohhhhh I know what's happening. I was crowning. NOW the epidural worked and I couldn't feel a dang thing! My mom and the nurse had to help me push, but since I had gotten the transitional labor oxytocin boost, I was high as a kite on adrenaline. He delivered himself between push 3 and 4, with my OB going, OK, this guy comes on his own terms. Labor was less than 6 hours and super easy. He was sunny side up, tho, and caused some major tearing. Took a bit to heal.
Prior to finding out we are having twins, I wanted nothing more than to deliver naturally, I medicated. Epidurals scare me to death and I want nothing to do with them again. I remember shaking while getting mine for the c-section and don’t have any desire to go through that again. Hopefully babies will be in good position to try naturally this go around but I will do what needs to be done to get them here safely.
Edit because words are hard
@c1kc1kpol1cn1k and @kbrown2385 you both too! We seem to make big babies around here!
@marebear15 I think your experience is much more common! I like to mention mine though because at the time I remember feeling kind of lied to by my birth classes. It just shows that labor is experienced differently for every mom and maybe even every baby.
edit wasnt finished
The next morning I woke up and was still having contractions. They did start to pick up a lot around noon and I was getting a lot more uncomfortable. I texted my husband that he would need to come home when he got off work, shower, take a quick nap, eat and then we would go. He got off at 3. By the time he got home my mom was telling him there was no way he had time for a nap. So we left the house by 4. An hour drive in painful labor is not fun. They sent me right to triage and the nurse insisted I had to lay on the bed and not move around. I had been doing well at home moving around and using my labor ball but laying on my back at that point was awful. I had wanted to avoid an epidural. But they tried IV meds then told me I had to stay laying in the bed.
So I went ahead and requested the epidural.
It worked great but now that I have talked to other moms I realize it hit me harder than I think it was supposed to. I couldn’t feel anything from my waist down. At all. I also got the shakes really bad. Luckily I had read ahead of time that that was pretty normal so I wasn’t too worried. I did also throw up a few times during labor as well. So that was super fun. They did give me medication for the nausea which helped.
I was at 5cm (if I remember right) when I was admitted around 5 pm.
Even with the epidural I progressed really well and went from 5cm to 10cm probably within 4 hours? All the nurses kept in and commenting that my contractions/progression were textbook and looked like I was on pitocin even though I wasn’t.
They did have to attach a probe thing to DS’s scalp to monitor his heart rate because the regular monitor wasn’t working well enough. His heart rate did also keep dropping/picking up and the nurses were rotating me like a rotisserie chicken to regulate his heart rate. The doctor was also rubbing his head to bring his heart rate down as well after they broke my water. Not weird at all haha
All along the doctors had assumed I would have about a 7 lb baby because I always measured “average.” Nobody seemed to take into consideration that I was 9 lbs when I was born and I’m 5’11” so baby had a lot of torso to get comfy in.
When I started to push the doctor explained that she was going to go ahead and do an episiotomy because the speed and size were not going to be kind to me.
I don’t remember how long I spent pushing, but as soon as his head was out I could see him and that was amazing. He did have wide shoulders so that took some more pushing but then we were home free.
DS was 8 lbs 12.9 oz. We found out at his 2 week appointment he also broke his collarbone during birth because he was so big. This happened to me when I was born too so I wasn’t all that surprised.
If took forever and a day for the epidural to wear off and I needed a catheter after he was born because the nurse needed me to pee and I still couldn’t feel anything to even know how to make that happen.
So this time around I only live 10 minutes from the hospital and I hope to avoid the epidural completely. I think if I had known DS would come so quickly I could have held out. The hospital I am at this time also seems to be a little more geared toward natural births. Just in case I end up with the epidural again I am going to discuss with my NP and see if I can start at a lower dose or something so I don’t lose all feeling.
Side note. Bring snacks! DS was born at 10 pm and all the nurses had for me until breakfast was a pudding cup.
Only negative to the experience was I had a much longer recovery time once I was home since my tailbone was ruined. This time the midwife said to give birth on my hands and knees to avoid the repeated injury.
I don't really remember too much of the afternoon anymore, I have my typed birth story with specifics somewhere, but it was basically a long boring afternoon of nothing really significant happening other than some questionable blood pressure readings that were bordering on too high but not to the point where they were overly concerned yet, just watching them. In the evening I was starting to have some stronger contractions (at one point I was on the birthing ball and I had a 5 minute contraction and they made me get back in the bed after that) and they mentioned the anesthesiologist was coming in for a different reason so if I wanted an epidural now was my chance. They had ruptured my membranes at that point and I still didn't really feel like I needed the epidural, but I also didn't want to be at a point where I wanted it RIGHTNOW and not get it for 2 hours because he needed to be paged then come in, so I got it around 11:45pm. I remember asking a nurse if my body progressed how it should with the epidural what time she thought my body would be at a 10 and ready to push and she estimated like 5am. They came back, put the catheter in, then I finally went to sleep around 1am.
I remember waking up at 5am on the dot anxious and ready to get things going so I could meet my kid, but the Dr on call was taking her sweet time coming in because it was a Sunday morning and church I guess. My epidural was having issues, it kept pausing and at one point started wearing off, but they got it fixed and my dr came in finally around 9am to check me and I was at a 7, thinned all the way out and she was at 0 station. My blood pressure had continued to read high the entire time I had been in the hospital and at that point there was blood in my urine collection so they sent it off to the lab. It was a slow morning with tons of anxiety, watching Naked & Afraid, crying to the nurse because I felt something was off after the blood was in my urine and they sent it to the lab, and the issues I was continuing to have with my epidural (it never started wearing off again but the machine kept having alarms go off almost hourly). Around noon the nurse came in and told me I had been diagnosed with preeclampsia at that point because of my consistently high blood pressure and there was protein in my urine but that I would be ready to push soon. And then my epidural stopped. So by 1pm when my Dr finally showed back up, my epidural had completely worn off, they told me they paged the anesthesiologist to come back and re-administer it, but that I was ready to push. I was basically in my own reality because of the pain, I don't know if this is real or "my reality" but I recall the entire room being dark minus the light above me pointed at my body. Someone in my former board had mentioned something along the lines of "it feels like your body ripping in half" and I found that was the most fitting description of the pain I was experiencing. I clung onto the idea that the anesthesiologist was going to come at any minute (the fucker never showed back up), and I was so exhausted that I would literally fall asleep in between contractions for like 30 seconds at a time. I hated the OB that was on call and present for delivery (she was of course, my least favorite OB in the practice and talked about the houseboat TV show & any other show that was on while I was pushing) but my favorite nurse, also ironically named Valerie, was the Angel that got me through delivery and the only person I wanted talking to me (sorry not sorry husband 😬). I pushed for just over 3 hours, Harper Rose was born at 4:12pm on May 22nd - 39 hours after my water initially ruptured somehow. She came out completely content, never cried (not even after her vitamin K shot) weighing 8lbs 6oz, 20" long and she just stared up at me taking me in. She was perfect and still is, albeit a little toddler asshole at times. My husband said once her head was out my dr pulled the rest of her out (he said it looked rough) but the worst of it for me was her head and the ring of fire. Once her head was out I almost felt complete relief from the pain, minus the stitching of a small tear and some internal tears and the fricking uterus "massage" - that was brutal.
Because I had been diagnosed with preeclampsia they had hooked me up to an IV of magnesium sulfate which is supposed to apparently be a really rough medication that kicks your butt, and the nurses were shocked that I was up and walking to the bathroom an hour after delivery because the med wasn't having the "normal" effect on me like it does most patients. 🤷♀️ We had to stay longer in the hospital for monitoring because of the magnesium, so we were in for a total of 5 days and I was so ragey and anxious to go home by the 5th day. The worst of my bleeding leveled off after about a week, however I continued to secrete grossness for about 5 more weeks before my bleeding picked back up to bright red and pretty heavy with some clots. The nurses told me to take motrin around the clock and it finally stopped right at the 6 week mark.
And lastly, adding a picture of Harper, maybe an hour after birth. She looked that content and stared at me like that since the moment she came out and they laid her on my belly. 😍@c1kc1kpol1cn1k my sister just had her 2nd son in May and used a TENS unit for both labors! She swears by it!
I started having light contractoins around 4:30 but they weren't worse then period cramps. I had dinner with my husband and tried to rest, but was so excited. Around 9:30pm the contractions were significantly worse and closer together, but still weren't close enough to go to the hospital so I took a bath and it was lovely and helped a lot. Around 11pm we went to the hospital because they were 5 min apart. When we got to the check in the midwife didn't think I was far enough along because I was so calm and said the pain was about a 5, I was already 6 cm dilated so they admitted me. After being admitted the pain escalated quickly and even though my plan was to have an unmedicated birth at 8 cm I asked the midwife if i was going to have the baby in the next hour, she of course said she couldn't know that, so I asked for an epidural.
The epidural was around 1 or 2 am and completely stalled my labor. Yes it was great to not be in pain, but I didn't give birth Until 1:15pm the next day. They even talked about a C-section because I wouldn't open up that last cm and the baby's heartrate was started to lower. Finally it was time to push and the midwife kept telling me to push but couldn't feel anything to know if I was doing it right or not. I guess I was because our son was out in 30 min of pushing. They had to check him thoroughly because there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. He turned out to be fine. I had a minor tear.
I am going to try to do an unmedicated birth again because I truly believe the epidural really slowed my labor which had been progressing really nicely until I had it. It was also annoying not being able to move from the bed. I also want to research some other ways of managing pain like maybe laughing gas which I've heard can at least take the edge off but not slow your labor down.
I will say even though my original birth plan had to be scraped, it was still an amazing experience and I felt like a warrior. My midwife and nurses were incredible and I will never be able to thank them enough!
Since this stage of labor can be very long or very short, this is why people have the 5-1-1 rule (contractions every 5 minutes, lasting 1 minute, for an hour). Obviously take this rule with a grain of salt. My contractions were never more than about 30 seconds long, and never got to 5 minutes apart until transition. Sometimes, you just know when to go.
EDIT: Okay, I think by the time I got to the hospital, my contractions were about 90 seconds long. I just did one of my breathing techniques and timed it to about 90 seconds. Wow. I didn't realize they were that long.
PG #2: EDD 8/15/23 Miscarried 9w1d 1/11/23
PG #3: EDD 12/15/23
i was due 29th January 2017 and since it was my first, i was convinced i would run over and would have a February baby. Due to gestational diabetes, dd was estimated to be on the large side & we decided to induce at 38 weeks (or 38+2 cause 38 was a Sunday & i wanted to get my hair coloured on the Monday as i didnt know when i would get to have it done again afterwards). At my appointment at 37+2 i had a sweep (uncomfortable at the time but not overly painful).
On the Saturday (37+6) it was my mums birthday & we had planned to go to my parents house to take my mum out for dinner. However, i woke up about 6:30am needing to pee. Turn out my waters had broken. So i phoned it in & they said to come in to be checked out, bring my bags just incase but that I probably wouldn’t need to stay. So i took a shower & washed my hair and wanted to stop for breakfast at my favourite place en route but dh is a panicker & thought we would be sent home again anyways and wanted me to be checked out then go for breakfast. They wanted to keep me in to keep any eye on me because of having gd, so i got admitted & spend the day doing nothing wandering about the hospital. I was pretty annoyed as i clearly wasn’t in full labour as I hadn’t felt a thing & man was i hangry about not getting for breakfast & due to it being the weekend there was only a skeleton canteen with nothing gd diet suitable other than a measly yogurt.
that evening, i got moved across to the prelabour Ward & i made dh order us takeaway to the hospital as i hadn’t eaten all day. When i was checked at 7pm, i was at 5cm & hadn’t had so much as a twinge.i thought i was a rockstar & was going to have this really straightforward easy birth. I was deluded and also very very wrong. DH got sent home round 10 & told to come back in in the morning.
Around 1am, i started getting contractions & dd was back to back and they were painful but not close enough together & the only pain relief i was given was paracetamol which did absolutely nothing for the pain. I phoned dh to come back in around half 4 cause I didn’t want to be on my own.
At 7am, i got moved across into my own delivery suite & after a bit of faffing about, eventually got started on a drip to kickstart labour. The OB on call that day is a friend of my husbands, they play football together on a Wednesday night. Sunday was a long, slow day. I took gas and air for most of the day during contractions but it made me throw up anytime i drank water but as we got to later that evening, i was crying and begging for something stronger. I was given diamorphine & had one failed epidural then a second which did work. I was pushing for what felt like forever to no avail, falling asleep in between contractions as i was so tired. It got to around midnight and she wasn’t moving so they prepped me for surgery & tried forceps first, which didn’t work & in the end i had an emergency section at 1:30am on the Monday morning. Right before they lifted her out, she flipped and came out feet first.
As a result of the combination of having gd & a traumatic birth, my milk didn’t come in at all. I stayed in hospital for 4 more days, mostly due to trying to breastfeed, pumping to try to stimulate & any other techniques suggested to no avail. DD also had a tongue tie, which we had snipped at 2 weeks. I also ended up with a wound infection 2 months after dd’s birth, so what was a perfect scar that would have been barely visible after a while turned into a very visible dip because instead of having it treated properly initially, i let my doctor husband and cousins tend to it & ended up seeing a tissue viability nurse for about 6 months.
Also, i should have had antibiotics due to my waters breaking so long before i actually gave birth but I didn’t get them for some reason & dd ended up with strep b in her eye. My heart rate dropped quite dramatically when i got home & they wanted to readmit me but it was just my body trying to recover from everything.
Ultimately, your birth may not turn out exactly how you envisage but as long as you & your baby are ok then there’s not much you can do about it other than just roll with it i suppose.
this time round I’m really hoping for a scheduled Caesarean section so fingers crossed these babies stay put til 37 weeks as if they decide to come early i may not have a choice in delivery. 37 weeks would leave me at 18th December & i really don’t want to be in hospital over Christmas or my birthday (which is 29th December).
edit it to add: After birth was the really tough part, Omg hemorrhoids!
I loved reading everyone else's stories. Thank you for sharing.
Thought I would share this.
I had had ZERO signs of labor and was already at 41+4 (side note, I think my due date was pushed forward inaccurately, so entirely possible that this was wrong. So glad we went with a different US place this time that actually listens to me). We had done everything natural, but it seemed that the baby just did not want to move. On that day we tried using castor oil and pumping, but really nothing started. We had scheduled an induction for 42 w, which would of had to be at the hospital and so I was a bit stressed about that.
We went into an appointment at 12 noon on 41 +5 and still NOTHING. I was kind of getting worried, but we tried the same protocol of pumping and castor oil that afternoon. BTW, castor oil was NOT bad at all, but at the same time I still don't like to eat ice cream... At 2pm it seems like things were getting started. All I can remember is trying to watch TV, but then suddenly I was in a completely different state. We went for a walk, but that quickly became too difficult. We got home at 4 and things really started. I bounced on the birth ball, used my hypnobirth tracks, and just went into a different place. Things really picked up when my doula got there at 7. My dh had to stay with me for every minute because contractions were on top of each other. I will spare you graphic details, but there were a lot of fluids etc. when my water broke.
At 8 we went to the birth center, which is very close to our house. When we got there I got in the shower and I think that was where transition was. After I got out I felt very tired and kept wanting to rest. My midwife checked me and said it was ok if I got in the tub around 10. In the tub I labored and then pushed for about 10 minutes. It was a bit scary fast. When she came out I was in shock and was bleeding more than normal. My husband held her right away so that I could get a pitocin shot. When she came out the midwife was very clear that she did not look her GA, but looked exactly like the GA I had said she was. I just remember saying over and over again, "She's so big!" even though she was the exact average size of a baby.
Resting after all of it was nice and we were able to go home at 3am. We ate some random muffins from someone and passed out. Little did we know our DD was a handful with some minor, yet significant medical issues. That was the most rest we got in a long while.
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To fully appreciate DD’s birth story, a short version of my son’s birth story is pertinent. My son was born at 39 weeks after an induced labor due to severe preeclampsia (PreE). During his labor and delivery, I received pitocin and magnesium sulfate, got an epidural for a reason other than pain management (low platelets), pushed for more than 3 hours, had a failed vacuum attempt, and ultimately delivered by forceps. I had two large tears and a postpartum hemorrhage that made recovery very long and difficult. I hoped for a very different experience with my next delivery.
I was interested in the midwifery model of care and unmedicated birth so I searched online for which midwives practiced in Pittsburgh and found the Midwife Center. I began seeing them for well-women annual appointments, and they provided wonderful, compassionate care during a miscarriage just before I got pregnant with DD. During my pregnancy with DD, I had great experiences at all of my appointments. The midwives took the time to answer all my questions and concerns and included my husband and son when they were able to attend my appointments. Due to my history of PreE, I was at increased risk of developing it with subsequent pregnancies. Therefore, when my blood pressure started to rise at the very end of pregnancy, it understandably made me nervous. I requested a membrane sweep at 40 weeks to hopefully get things rolling before my BP officially became “high” which would risk me out of the birth center. I was also warned to mentally prepare for a hospital transfer during labor for high BP because the pain and stress of labor causes many women’s BP to rise (and mine was borderline high at the office by that point).
After the membrane sweep, I had somewhat intense, regular contractions over the course of the evening, but they petered out overnight. The next day, I still had contractions intermittently, but nothing intense or regular. The following day (Friday) I started having weak contractions every 20 minutes or so at around 2PM. By 3PM, they were getting stronger and closer together so I asked my husband to pick me up from work. He had been out shopping and still needed to pick up a few things at Target, so he asked me if I would prefer heading straight home, or stopping by Target first. At this point, I wasn’t sure whether I was really in labor, and thought that some walking might help if it was really labor, so I told him to go to Target. As we walked through the store, the contractions were getting even stronger, so that I needed to stop walking during each one. I told my husband that we should probably head home as I didn’t want to make a scene laboring in Target or have my water break there. On the ride home, I really started to think that this was labor although the contractions were still very, very manageable (this was around 4PM).
Once we got home, I called the person who would be watching our son and gave the midwife on call (Emily) a phone at 5PM-ish. At this point, the contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart. Emily told me that they like to wait until the contractions get to 5 minutes apart, so I could check back in a few hours or call if things got intense fast. Almost immediately after this call, things got crazy. First, the contractions switched to around 2-3 minutes apart but were still manageable. Very quickly after that, they became very intense such that I needed to lean over something and breathe through each one. I filled up our bathtub and got in to try and calm down and space them out but needed to get out after about 2 contractions. At this point, it was obvious to me that we needed to go to the birth center and fast. My husband raced around the house calling the MW, collecting last minute items for our labor bag, and finalizing plans for our son. We left for the birth center at around 6PM and made it there at 6:20PM.
I went inside to meet Emily and the nurse (Danielle) in the Forest Room while my husband waited for my son to be picked up outside. Once inside, the nurse asked me to try to pee (I couldn’t) and started collecting vitals on baby. Emily came in maybe 5 minutes later. She saw me work through one contraction and said “well this looks promising, let’s see where you are at”. She checked me and I was at 8 cm. This was fantastic news! The contractions at this point were very intense, but now I knew that I was in transition and it would be over soon. She asked me if I wanted to use the tub (oh god did I) and she started to fill it up. Before I could get in, a few things needed to happen. Danielle needed to monitor DD’s heart rate during 4 contractions (she was doing perfectly), they needed to get my blood pressure (amazingly, not high!), and they needed to put in a saline lock (due to my history of postpartum hemorrhage). All this was torture because the contractions were right on top of each other and didn’t really let up completely in between each one, but I made it through by circling my head during each contraction (because I couldn’t move while Danielle was listening to the heart rate). As I stood up to head to the tub, I started to feel the urge to push and told Emily as much. She told me to listen to my body and do what feels right, but I was worried that I might not be complete and asked to be checked. So she checked me, and sure enough I was complete with just a small lip that she pushed aside (ow!) and we were ready to start pushing.
This was the only point in the process where I really lost it and started saying that I didn’t think I could do it. I was thinking about my son’s birth and how long and painful pushing was with him. Emily told me that I could do it, and that all women feel like this towards the end of labor, and that means it’s almost over. With those words motivating me, I got back on the bed and started to push. I started pushing sort of on all fours, but it didn’t feel very good so I switched to side lying. In my birth plan, I asked to do self-directed pushing and this was perfect for me. No one counting, or yelling, just my body doing what felt right. After the first few pushes, my water broke in a dramatic gush. After that, I quickly delivered her head (feeling the infamous ring of fire) and her body right after. In all, I pushed for 12 minutes. DD was born at 6:57PM on Friday, June 13th under a full moon. Emily later told me that she was completely posterior (which makes delivery more difficult). I only had one small tear that didn’t even require stitches.
She was placed directly on my stomach and my husband was able to cut the cord (both these things didn’t happen with my son). I held her skin to skin for the first hour and we were able to quickly start breastfeeding. It was amazing how alert and calm she was. I felt terrific right afterwards. We stayed at the birth center for 5 hours after she was born (a little longer than the 4 hour minimum because my blood pressure actually became high AFTER the birth and they needed to monitor it back down to normal).
All in all, DD’s birth was an amazing, empowering experience that was so, so different from the birth of my son. Because her birth was so fast and uncomplicated, the result would have likely been very similar if I had delivered in a hospital. However, it would have been a lot less pleasant. It was wonderful to walk right into the Forest Room and not have to deal with waiting rooms, check-ins, or triage. It was wonderful not having to lie still in bed while being monitored. It was wonderful not needing to argue about any aspects of my birth plan, everything I wanted was standard practice at the birth center. It was wonderful to be able to go home hours after the birth and rest in our own bed. In the days after DD’s birth I had to refrain from telling anyone and everyone what a wonderful experience her birth was.They are quite beautiful and, as others have said, even the ones that didn't go as planned ended up ok in the end.
As a FTM planning a natural birth in a birthing center, it sounds like trusting your body and letting things progress as naturally as possible are good ways to encourage a positive birth experience.
Your rock, mamas!
Maybe as the time gets closer we can start a thread about birth classes/tips...
Just have a few back up plans.