Baby Showers
mrsgraybill
member
Baby shower dilemmas!
mrsgraybill
member
in Baby Showers
This shower subject has been making me nuts! We have a few dilemmas to work out. My husband and I decided we wanted to have a joint shower. 1) I feel weird about inviting my stiff relatives on my moms side who aren't party people to a more fun, laid back shower- could I just send them announcements with a registry link instead? 2) I don't have any friends, and his sisters/mom haven't offered to throw us one (my parents want nothing to do with this), so I'm not sure if we should just plan it ourselves. 3) Our house is decent but not laid out well for having more than a few people at a time, and we don't want to shell out any money to have this party somewhere else. If we decide to just have a regular party with friends, would I be able to say we just didn't have the space if anyone else asks about it? 4) Am I allowed to tell people we won't be opening any gifts in front of guests? I don't know anyone with a baby and have no idea how these things work!
Re: Baby shower dilemmas!
1. No, that’s rude and tacky. You don’t send a link suggesting people buy you gifts because they aren’t “fun” enough to invite to a party. WTF?
2. You don’t throw your own baby shower, again, because it’s tacky.
3. You shouldn’t worry about this because you don’t throw your own baby shower.
4. Sooo you want people to spend money and time on you but you don’t want to take time to show respect and gratitude by opening their gift with them there?
Tell you what. Make it easy on yourself and just send everyone a letter, listing your registry information and where they can send you a gift. Obviously, the gifts is all you’re concerned about so might as well let it be known.
Jesus.
2) No. You don't throw yourself a shower. Sorry, but if no one around you wants to throw one for you, you don't have one.
3) Sounds like you should just have a meet the baby party with close friends after baby is here.
4). Also no. This is rude. IF you were to have a shower people spend time and money picking out what to get you. It is expected you open gifts and ooo and ahh over everything people got you.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
A shower is thrown for you by family or friends out of the kindness of their hearts (because as you mentioned, it costs $). If nobody offers, you don’t get one. You can hope your family and any “friends” that may or may not exist ask for registry info or buy you gifts just because, but please only offer registry info if someone asks.
1) I get not wanting to invite them, but you never know how people act in different situations until they are in them, so they may not be stiff at the shower. And if they feel awkward about it, too, they won't come. It's better to have them there and it be kinda odd than have the tension of them finding out they weren't invited.
2) I don't get why people say you can't plan a shower for yourself. As adults we put on our own birthday/holiday parties all the time and nobody thinks a thing about it. A baby shower is no different, and especially if you are a FTM, people know that you need things and are generally more than happy to gift you those items.
3) Having a small party sounds great if that's all the space you have. You could also just have several smaller get-togethers, if you have the time. Friends this weekend, stiff family the next, and so on. If you do that, though, don't do it as a baby shower, per say - it's just a celebration of your growing family. Depending on when you have your shower, you could do it in a park that has a covered pavilion to get everybody in at once. You may have to pay to reserve the space, but it'll be cheaper than a formal venue.
4) I hate opening gifts in front of people - it's so awkward to have everybody intently looking at you while you ooh and aah, even if you are like "what's this?!?!". If you don't want to open gifts in front of people, don't. If somebody really wants to you to open theirs, do it privately, otherwise it will snowball. I know it's expected that we open the gifts with everybody around, so if you feel you have to, make it a game. Give everybody a blank bingo card and have them fill out what they think you will receive. They can check off the items as you open them, and then it's more about the gifts and game than watching you.
In summary, don't worry about what society says is supposed to happen or not. It's your baby, your family, and you have to do what you are comfortable with. If people have an issue with it, they can either get over it or not participate. Good luck!